Much ink has been spilled on being the infamous “other woman” in a marriage. Countless movies and books have depicted her powers of seduction and cunning charm. While this is far from the truth, most real and reel affairs end with the mistress being dumped and woefully exclaiming, “He never left his wife for me!”
Would a man break up his family for another woman? Maybe he would. If you’re involved with a married man, don’t let the surrounding chatter get you down. If the connection is real and the intentions are solid, you will spot the signs he will leave his wife for you. This does not happen very often, but you might just be the exception.
However, before you set out to spot the signs he will leave his wife for you, you need to know what they are first. Sure, he buys you gifts and spends a few days of the week with you, but does that really mean that one day he’s going to bid adieu to his lawfully wedded wife? Let’s take a look at all the signs and why a man may decide to go down this path in the first place.
What Makes A Man Leave His Wife For Another Woman?
It’s relatively simple to pinpoint the factors that lead a man off the fidelity track. But leaving his wife (and kids) is a whole other ballgame. And it is rarely seen because a husband and wife have a long, shared history; they have known each other for years, been together through each other’s highs and lows, begun a family, built a life, and so on.
Only something extraordinarily compelling would result in a married man’s conscious decision of parting with his family. That’s why so many of the “other women” end up having thoughts like, “Will he really leave his wife for me, or am I wasting my time?”
While you’re trying to figure out how this extra-marital affair is going to pan out, some people may tell you that if he loves you, he will leave his wife. The truth is, it’s not really as simple as that. Let’s take a look at what causes a man to leave his wife:
1. An unhappy marriage
Myriad reasons can cause unhappiness in the marriage. Very often, people evolve into different versions of themselves over time. Perhaps, your partner’s spouse is not the same person he fell in love with years ago, or he is not the same person who fell in love with the woman he married. When a husband and wife grow apart, there is a lack of affection and intimacy in their bond.
The marriage becomes a formality, and they just try and keep up appearances. That is, until one of them decides it’s enough. How long can a person live in an emotionally stunted environment? Hence, a marriage where there can be no growth or joy causes a man to leave his wife for another woman. He hopes to begin again with a fresh perspective and spirit.
Related Reading: 15 Tips To Stop Dating A Married Man
2. An abusive marriage – signs he will leave his wife for you
Male victims of abuse suffer in silence for a long time before they break away from their partners. A man can leave his abusive wife for another woman because he wants to be treated as an equal in the relationship. This abuse can take diverse forms; emotional, physical, economic, or psychological.
This toxic and destructive marriage can ultimately drive him to seek solace and healing from another, healthier individual. Respect and dignity are invaluable qualities that every individual desires. A relationship that provides the same will take priority over a bad marriage.
3. The many responsibilities of a family
If a man is the primary breadwinner of his home, the stress of keeping things running smoothly might be getting to him. He might feel like an ATM for his wife and family. In the process of handling EMIs, loans, parental duties and social obligations, the man might feel like he’s losing himself. Simultaneously, boredom creeps into the relationship to make matters worse.
Wanting to escape from the rut of a mid-life crisis, a married man will rediscover himself with another woman. The feeling of rejuvenation and novelty might lead him to seek a divorce. No comments on how ethical (or sustainable) this is.
These are the top three reasons that are at play when a man parts ways with his wife, but that’s not to say that they’re the only three reasons. Each individual is unique, and the driving factors behind his decisions may be unique to him. He may want to get out of this marriage and into the arms of a lover simply because he didn’t want to be in the marriage anymore.
As exciting as that may sound, it’s still not a certainty. So, how to know if he will leave his wife for you? The world is full of empty promises… And how long to wait for a married man to leave? Let’s address all this and more with the 11 signs he will leave his wife for you.
11 Signs He Will Leave His Wife For You
The General Social Survey reports that men are more likely to cheat than women. (These men are more likely to be married too.) In addition to this, a study by YouGovAmerica revealed something far more riveting; men are more likely to peg cheating on dissatisfactory sex lives. It seems like it’s all about the sex when it comes to infidelity for men.
While there aren’t any exact statistics on how many men leave their wives for affair partners, the research mentioned here doesn’t exactly lend hope. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that an extramarital affair cannot be the beginning of a happily-ever-after for you.
Cassandra had been seeing Mark for over a year. They’d met at a bar and hit it off instantly. Although he was married, Mark and his wife were deeply dissatisfied with their marriage. It was tacitly understood that he would leave his spouse and build a new life after divorce with Cassandra. But things kept getting pushed for one reason or another.
This was starting to worry Cassandra. “How long to wait for a married man to leave before calling it quits?” she wondered. Finally, she broached the subject with Mark directly. He acknowledged her concerns and promised to take decisive action. A few weeks later, he came back with the preliminary papers. The wheels were in motion for his divorce.
Are you also waiting for your Mark to come through on his promises? The insufferable wait is probably frustrating you to end. While we can’t tell you what he’ll do, we can certainly help you make an educated deduction based on these signs he will leave his wife for you. Read on to find out:
1. No excuses at all
How to know if he will leave his wife for you? By observing his behavior pattern. If your man is not one for lame excuses and paltry justifications, you can count on him. He will never keep you hanging while he tries to make the marriage work. This isn’t a side-chick relationship for him and being a player is certainly not his style.
On the other hand, if your man is the kind who keeps canceling date after date with you because of “family issues,” you might need to be on the lookout. Though he constantly promises a future with you, you’ll see some signs he is still sleeping with his wife. Even though he keeps telling you that the divorce is just around the corner, you never see anything materialize. At the end of the day, you’re left wondering, “How to get him to leave his wife?”
A married man who is serious about ending things, will not keep pushing the hard decisions indefinitely. Things will be lined up in the pipeline, and you will NEVER hear him say, “I’ve been too caught to look into it, babe.” Hail the words of Benjamin Franklin: “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
2. Consistent trouble in (faux) paradise
If things on the domestic end aren’t going too well, the marriage is probably reaching its natural end. He isn’t trying to play his wife and you simultaneously. And by trouble, I don’t mean the second-hand accounts of trouble you’ve heard from him. You’ve witnessed him arguing over the phone, he’s been sleeping on your couch, the lawyers are involved, etc.
These constant arguments spell doom for the relationship he shares with his wife. Both of them are wrapping up the party. He is so much happier (and not stressed) with you around. You can see the unhappy marriage in action and these are all signs he will leave his wife for you.
3. Crystal clear priorities
If your man’s top priority is your well being (rather than that of his wife), you have no cause for concern. An Instagram user from Dallas wrote, “People kept telling me that nothing causes a man to leave his wife. But I knew he was serious about me from day one. If there was a clash between something he had to do for his (ex) wife and something for me, I was the obvious choice.
“I never believed in giving a married man an ultimatum, and I never had to play mind games with him. For us, things fell into place. If he means what he says to you, you’ll see all the signs he will leave his wife for you without even trying.”
Do you see what she’s saying? If he has to rush back home on the slightest request his wife makes, you need to do some serious thinking about where you both stand. Chances are, he’ll leave you hanging high and dry.
Related Reading: 12 Signs A Married Man Is Falling In Love With You
4. Concrete plans
A man with a plan is super-duper attractive. And he’s dependable, of course. When you’re looking for the signs he will leave his wife for you, focus on the plans he makes for the two of you. And I do not mean dinner plans. What is his long-term vision? Where does he see you two going? Are there any relationship milestones he has set?
Maybe he talks about buying a house together or getting a pet. If he is optimistic about a future with you, then this is a great sign. It goes to show that he is committed to the relationship and you. This fantastic approach is how to know if he will leave his wife for you.
5. It’s way more than sex
The related statistics on how many men left their wives indicate purely carnal extramarital affairs. If your relationship with the married man is leaps and bounds ahead of a physical one, then you can rest assured. His emotional investment will be visible in his actions and conduct. Thoughtful gestures, a supportive attitude and other healthy traits will be the norm of the day.
However, let this reader’s story serve as a warning: “I genuinely thought that he was into me because it felt far from a no-strings-attached relationship; I mistakenly thought he’d commit. But he never left his wife for me. They’re still together actually. I regret sleeping with him and constantly hoping for change.”
Make sure you understand the difference between a purely sexual relationship and one that transcends lust. Don’t be one of those who end up exclaiming, “Every time we’re in bed he says he will leave his wife for me, but never follows up on it!” It’s important that you understand how into you he is, as it will give you the answer to, “Will he really leave his wife for me?”
6. Who’s the dirty secret? Not you, for sure
Here comes one of the biggest signs he will leave his wife for you. In the initial stages of an extramarital affair, things are quite hush-hush because of the fear of getting caught. But when he gets serious about your relationship, he’ll be way more comfortable being open about it. You might have been introduced to his friends or coworkers too.
In a few cases, even the wife knows about the affair partner. All of this paints a clear picture: he’s letting people get accustomed to viewing you both as a couple. This is much like laying the groundwork before the divorce comes through. It might get the gossip mill churning about him, but he really doesn’t care about anything except your relationship. It could be one of the signs that you’re now in a somewhat serious relationship.
As communication with his wife dies down and they’re now estranged, he’s going to be bolder about being seen in public with you. Of course, in some situations doing so might hamper the divorce proceedings, but you’ll see him taking a lot more risks in general. If this happens, you don’t need to look for any other signs he will leave his wife for you.
Related Reading: Do Affairs That Break Up A Marriage Last?
7. Honesty and sincerity
Brigham Young beautifully wrote, “Honest hearts produce honest actions.” A partner who communicates well is a blessing from God. Your man will stay true to you if he is literally true to you. You will be kept well-informed of the proceedings in his marriage as well as other aspects of life. He won’t conceal any information from you because transparency is key with a romantic partner.
Thoughts like, “Will he leave his wife for me?” or, “He says he will leave his wife for me, but can I trust him?” won’t run through your mind if he’s always honest with you about what he wants. Your man communicates his feelings clearly and is his most authentic self around you. No pretenses, no beating around the bush.
He’ll tell you just how into you he is and what his plans are; what he’s afraid of, and what he can’t wait to do with you. You’ll never feel insecure in the relationship or about your role in his life. If these are not signs he will leave his wife for you, then what are?
8. The child factor
Sound reason dictates that a man is more likely to leave his wife if they don’t have children. The emotional considerations increase a hundredfold when there is a child in the picture. No parent wants to put their child through such a mess; divorce impacts children in numerous lasting ways. Cutting ties isn’t easy when you’re a father.
But if your man is determined to balance the roles of a good father and a good partner (to you), he might introduce you to his kid. This would be the best indicator of how serious he is in the relationship. Sure, you might need to get used to a few things as well, but at least you won’t have to worry about giving a married man an ultimatum if he has introduced you to his child.
9. Toxic partner alert
An intolerable spouse will be sure to drive your man out of his marriage. A relationship where one person abuses, manipulates, and gaslights the other is not sustainable. If your man is being subjected to incessant drama and nagging from his wife on a daily basis, he will sever any and all bonds soon. One is bound to get exhausted, right?
In contrast, the relationship you both share will appear healthier, equal and loving. This comparison is sure to cross his mind at some point in time. He will value you more with each passing day. In some cases, the sheer toxicity in his domestic sphere causes a man to leave his wife.
If you’re in a situation where you can see that his partner is belligerently toxic toward him, you needn’t get stuck on thoughts like, “Will he leave his wife for me?” or, “How to get him to leave his wife for me?” All you’ve got to do is offer him a way out, and unless he has formed an unhealthy codependent relationship with her, he’ll very clearly see that the grass on the other side is worth exploring.
10. Not putting a ring on it
It’s all in the details. When a man stops putting in the bare minimum (symbolic) effort, he is truly done with his marriage. One of the ultimate signs that he will leave his wife for you is that he does not wear the wedding ring. He is ready to move on in his life and the past does not exercise control over him anymore. He’s mentally and emotionally free from his marriage — it does not restrict him anymore.
If we were to look at signs he is still sleeping with his wife, taking his wedding ring off would literally be the opposite of it. You could even ask him why he has taken it off, and if he follows point seven in this article, he’s going to tell you exactly what he means by this gesture.
11. Meet the parents
A true gesture of commitment is introducing your beloved to your parents. If your man has already acquainted you with his parents, he is pretty serious about the two of you as a couple. You have officially acquired the status of his partner by meeting the family. He is progressing toward his separation and you are becoming familiar with his circle in the meantime.
A sign of trouble would be that they are trying to keep you hidden from the eyes of the world. But presenting you as a partner is a lovely move. A 10/10 for sure!
At the end of the day, advice like, “If he loves you, he will leave his wife” won’t do you much good. You need to be able to spot concrete signs like the ones listed above, only then can you rest easy.
How did you fare? If the scales are tipped to your side, then we wish you the very best for your life with him. This is the stage where you might wonder, “Yes, he left his wife for me, will it last though?” Calm your racing mind because that’s a discussion for another day.
If you’ve realized that he might never leave his wife for you, take a deep breath. You’re going to be just fine. In both cases, please remember to prioritize your needs and well-being. Maintain healthy boundaries and don’t let a relationship take over your life.
You are armed with the A to Zs of the signs he will leave his wife for you. No one can make a fool of you or play you around. Knowledge is power and you are a phenomenal woman.
The things a man experiences with his spouse go way back, and the kind of relationship he has with his mistress is vastly different from the bond he shares with his wife. Though he may love and care for them both, he can never love them “equally.” There will be a difference in either the form of love or strength. The way it’s different depends on each individual and the variables at play.
Be honest with him about your expectations and encourage him to be honest about what he wants as well. If you feel like you’re constantly being kept on the hook, it might be time to leave. But if it seems like he’s following through with his plans and taking charge of the situation, let things progress the way they are. As with most cases in your scenario, there isn’t a concrete answer here. Let your gut guide the way!
If a married man is using you, you’ll get to know if his intentions toward you aren’t pure. He will only have a sexual relationship with you and won’t ever be vulnerable with you. He won’t be interested in forming an emotional connection and won’t ever talk about the future with you.