“When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive,” said Paulo Coelho in The Zahir. But is it that easy to let go of a man you once loved? Especially, if you’re still in love but you see clear signs the relationship is over for him? Well, not really. So, what do you do when you feel he is giving up on you or that he is leaving you for another woman? Yes, moments that you’ve spent together in the past matter. Your memories together matter.
But can you really push a relationship forward on your own when a man is done with you? What can you do to address the signs he wants out of the relationship? Is it a good idea to cling on to someone in spite of him making it clear it won’t work out for the two of you? Well, we will provide answers to all such burning questions in this article. If you’re wondering, “Is he done with me?,” read on.
21 Warning Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him – A Breakup Is Coming Your Way
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship with your man or have just been dating for a while, it breaks your heart to see signs he is cutting you off. Interestingly, a study shows women initiate breakups more often than men. Nonetheless, nobody knows how many of those breakups were catalyzed by the actions of the men those women had been dating. After
all, women can be devastated when they break up with someone they once loved with all their heart and soul.
So, what happens when you see signs he’s over you? And how do you know when a relationship is ending? Are you so addicted to your partner that you’re in denial even after he clearly indicates a breakup and wonder, “Is it really over between us?” Well, these 21 signs the relationship is over for him may help you realize where you stand in terms of your equation with him:
1. You’re left with nothing to do together anymore
One of the major signs he is giving up on you is when your partner is no longer making an effort to be in the relationship. In such cases, you’ll often find yourself wondering what to do when you’re together. The relationship becomes boring and monotonous. Some signs are:
● You run out of topics to discuss
● He stops laughing at your jokes
● He leaves immediately after sex
● You don’t enjoy any activity or hobby together
● Spending time together has become a chore
2. He doesn’t argue
When a man argues back or tries to reason with you on important topics, it’s a clear sign that he is still making an effort to stay in the relationship or trying to figure out a way to end your differences. In fact, some arguments are healthy. You should, however, worry when he stops arguing and turns passive. This is a good indicator that the relationship is over for him. In such cases, he might:
● Leave the room in the middle of an argument
● Dismiss your concerns
● Give you insipid or short responses, such as “Oh yes! You’re right.” In fact, the first sign your relationship is over could be these words
3. He doesn’t think of the future
In any healthy relationship, long-term plans are inevitable. And more often than not, they are made by not one partner but both. But when you find your man shying away from any plans about the future, it’s probably because he changed his mind about you recently. In such cases, he may even stop planning about the imminent future, such as trip plans for the weekend.
4. He has cheated on you more than once
Yes, he may have cheated on you once, and you may have forgiven him. But if he becomes a habitual cheater, chances are, he has lost interest in you and wants a way out. In fact, he is likely to provoke you to react or end the failing relationship, by cheating on you or showing you he is leaving you for another woman. This way, they can then feel less guilty for leaving their partners.
Related Reading: The 8 Most Common Types Of Cheating In A Relationship
5. He doesn’t spend on you
Yes, we know women in the 21st century are independent and don’t need men to foot their bills. In fact, these days, women don’t mind paying on dates. They are even capable of pampering themselves with diamonds and lavish vacations. Gone are the days when one partner, usually the man, pampered the other. These are days of gender equality.
But, with that being said, women still expect their boyfriends or husbands to shower them with romantic dinners, expensive gifts, and exotic trips. These little acts of love take the relationship a notch higher.
So, if your man, in spite of earning well, doesn’t spend as much on you as he used to at the onset of your relationship, it could be a sign that:
● He wants a way out and is indirectly hinting at it
● He already has someone else in his life who he’s been splurging on
● He is saving for himself and his future and doesn’t have you in the picture
6. He has issues remembering significant dates
You still remember the way he once surprised you by being at your doorstep at midnight on your birthday, when he was actually supposed to be away on a work trip! But that was years ago. And now, you have to remind him of important dates, such as your anniversary or your birthday. Well, this could be one of the signs the relationship is over for him.
Related Reading: 21 Signs Of Lack Of Respect In A Relationship
7. He isn’t careful while handling things that matter to you
A friend of mine, Brenda, once told me how days before her boyfriend of 2 years, Chris, broke up with her, they had gone out for dinner. Brenda had gifted him a pretty showpiece she got from her trip to Europe. Once they had had dinner, Chris got up and was about to leave, when a waiter reminded him of the souvenir he had left back at the table.
Likewise, if your man forgets about or mishandles the objects of love that you hold dear to your heart, such as gifts from Valentine’s Day or other prized possessions of yours, they could be done with the relationship.
8. You feel like walking on eggshells
It’s possible he changed his mind about you if he is often agitated when you try and show him how much you love him. This is when you’ll feel you’re walking on eggshells. But how do you know when it’s over? Well, you may look out for these signs:
● He misinterprets everything that you say
● You’re careful with your words and try not to rub him the wrong way
● He often turns verbally abusive during discussions and arguments with you
Related Reading: 8 Signs You Have A Controlling And Manipulative Husband
9. Change in personality
We often come across people who wonder if their partners would still love them after getting into a new job or relocating to a new city. It’s true that people’s priorities change over time, and that may also change their relationship dynamics.
If you notice any sudden and significant change in your man’s personality after a significant life event, it’s a huge relationship red flag. It’s possible that his priorities have changed and so has your position in his life. This is also one of the glaring signs he wants you to leave him alone.
10. He is indifferent to your success
Picture this: you just won a scholarship to your favorite institute or have just been promoted. But you see your husband or boyfriend showing little interest in your joy. What’s worse, they are indifferent. This is a big sign the relationship is over for him.
Related Reading: Is Indifference Or Disrespect Equivalent To Cheating On Spouse?
11. He’s stonewalling you
You’re being stonewalled in your relationship when he deliberately stops all communication to manipulate your actions. This could be a sign that he probably wants a breakup but doesn’t have it in him to initiate it. He can, thus, stop sharing details about his life or stop communicating with you totally, so that he can indirectly hint at the end of the relationship. In this case:
● You may be provoked to ask him if he needs a break from the relationship
● He may dodge important concerns that you may have about the relationship, as he makes his way out
12. He hangs out with mutual friends, but not with you
A clear sign of disinterest in the relationship is when your partner is pally with your mutual friends and shares details of his life with them but not with you. In this case, your friends may know more about what’s going on in his life than you. You may also find that he stops inviting you to parties that have mutual friends.
Related Reading: 11 Warning Signs Of Lack Of Emotional Connection In Relationships
13. There’s a drastic change in your sex life
Do you miss the depth of physical intimacy that you once enjoyed with your partner? Have you recently noticed that he no longer initiates sex? Are you in a sexless relationship? Well, it’s likely that he is losing interest in sex with you, because:
● He is mentally distancing himself from you
● He already has someone else in his life who’s making him happy in bed
14. He asks you if you need space
Often, we find men shying away from breaking up directly. There could be plenty of reasons for this:
● They avoid the social stigma of having “used a woman”
● They avoid emotional reactions or arguments
● They don’t wish to offer explanations
But how do you know when it’s over? Well, in such cases, a man who wants to break up may just turn the tables and ask you if you need space.
15. His gestures tell all
When men don’t love you anymore, they are less protective of you. In that case, their body language says more than words do. You’ll often find him:
● Avoiding eye-contact
● Avoiding loving gestures such as hugging or holding hands
● Looking away when talking to you
Related Reading: How To Know When A Relationship Is Over? 25 Signs That Indicate So
16. He prioritizes other things over you
Have you noticed that his football match is more important than spending quality time with you? Or, is he always busy at work or glued to his phone? Well, these could be signs the relationship is over for him.
17. He avoids attending social events with you
If he has stopped attending social events, such as office parties, weddings, and family gatherings with you, it could be a tell-tale sign that he is planning his way out of the relationship and that a breakup is coming. Men are often proud of their partners and like flaunting them to others. It’s not just a male ego booster but also a display of his love.
18. He’s absent from significant life events
Your boyfriend wasn’t there when you got your mother admitted to hospital. He also missed your graduation party. Guess what! He may be opting out because he is no longer making an effort to please you. This is one of the most prominent signs of a breakup from him.
Related Reading: 18 Subtle Signs Your Long-Term Relationship Is Over
19. He’s in it for the kids
Have you often found him saying that he is in the relationship only ‘because of the kids’? The first sign your relationship is over could be these words. What’s worse, you might notice him spending almost all his time at home with the kids while you hardly have any ‘couple time’ with him. Chances are, he is making the kids an escape route from the monotony of your relationship. Trust us, you’re not overreacting if you’re thinking to yourself, “I think my relationship is over.”
20. He criticizes you often or draws comparisons
One of the signs he wants you to leave him alone is excessive criticism from his end. Accepting a partner’s flaws is the first step to a healthy relationship. But it’s possible that the relationship is over for him if you find him:
● Constantly criticizing your looks and other things about you, such as your career or dress sense
● Comparing you with his exes or friends
● Ridiculing you or your taste in food, music, or clothes
Related Reading: Comparison Trap – What It Is And How To Get Out
21. Your friends and family notice the distance
Lastly, when the relationship is over for him, your friends and family will be the first people to notice the difference. You, being an active part of the relationship, may not be able to notice how you’re being ignored or mistreated by your husband or boyfriend. But the signs of a breakup from him will never escape the notice of your loved ones. So, keep your eyes and ears open for anything that they may have to say about you two.
What To Do If The Relationship Is Over For Him – 5 Actionable Tips
What can you do if the relationship has soured beyond repair for him? Can you get back the zing of your early days? Well, a long-term relationship is tough, and you’re bound to have
rough patches. If you think the relationship requires a push to survive the tough days, why not give it a try? But if you think you’re better off without the toxicity of a partner who has given up on you and the relationship, it’s better to reconsider your choices. Here are a few tips to deal with such a situation:
If your relationship is heading nowhere, it’s possible that you and your partner have stopped talking. But the best tried-and-tested solution to this issue is honest and open communication. Communicate with your husband or boyfriend and try to understand the underlying causes behind the impending breakup. Let him speak – be it the good, the bad, or the ugly. Instead of getting into the blame game, focus on the issue at hand and try to fix things if they can be.
2. Detach and reflect
Instead of being in denial, detach yourself emotionally for a day or two or go on a temporary breakup. In fact, spending time together can increase bitterness in such situations. Before taking any further steps, you need to be sure if the relationship is over for good. Give him and yourself some time to reflect on whether you wish to make the relationship work or end the connection once and for all. Ask yourself if the relationship is worth saving. After all, you should know when to end a relationship too. Recognize the signs a relationship is not working and step back if you need to.
Related Reading: Expert Advice On Coping With Feeling Empty After A Breakup
3. Focus on yourself
Don’t punish yourself for his decision. Remember, it’s not always the partner’s fault when a relationship ends. Try to make amends if you wish to continue but stop blaming yourself for the negative outcome. Switch the focus on you. Pamper yourself with day outs, spend time with friends and family, and indulge in some self-love.
4. Avoid social media
When you notice the signs he is no longer interested in you, you’re likely to go through an emotional rollercoaster. The worst possible mistake that a woman can commit at this stage is vent on social media. That will make the situation bitter. In fact, social media often affects relationships adversely and, in such cases, can cause irreparable emotional damage. So, when you see signs he isn’t interested, avoid:
● Posting rants on social media blaming your partner
● Deleting photos or changing your relationship status right away
● Making snarky comments or engaging in social media gossip about your partner
If you need to vent, ask mutual friends for their advice or confide in a trusted few, in private.
5. Consult a counselor
Be it individual counseling to help you nurse your broken heart or couples counseling to help the two of you deal with the situation, there’s no alternative to speaking to a professional. Many couples struggle to reach an amicable end. If your man doesn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, don’t hesitate to speak to a counselor or relationship coach. Skilled and licensed therapists on Bonobology’s panel are here for you.
- Women need to take a good look at their romantic relationships if they aren’t sure their partners want to continue
- Some of the glaring signs the relationship is over for him are: a change in personality, absence from key life events, lack of future or long-term plans, infidelity, and excessive criticism
- When a man is done with you, you can deal with the situation by communicating with him, detaching and reflecting on the issue, focusing on yourself, avoiding reacting on social media, and consulting a counselor
We hope you now have a clear picture of the signs he is no longer interested in you. We hope you’re still not left googling, “How do you know when a relationship is over?” No relationship is a cakewalk, and to deal with a man who wishes to end it is far worse. After all, there’s a limit to how much effort you can put in the relationship.
But, remember, it’s not the end of the world even when a man says he is done with you. After all, a relationship shouldn’t define your worth. And even you should look out for signs a relationship is not working. You should know when to end a relationship too. So, chin up, princess! Go, face it. But don’t be beaten by a breakup or let it decide your path in life. Remember, tough times don’t last, tough people do.