It can be an extremely unnerving experience to be in a relationship and have an uncanny feeling that something isn’t right. Are you seeing the signs a relationship is ending or simply going through a rough patch? Is your partner grumpy and aloof because they have something going on at work front? Or is it an extension of their discontentment with the relationship?
Feeling the end of a relationship and another heartbreak coming on can be a debilitating experience. That’s why a lot of people sweep the signs a relationship is over under the rug until it’s too late. But by paying attention to these red flags you can do damage control or prepare yourself for the inevitable eventuality. Both of which help you cope with the circumstances better.
13 Worrying Signs A Relationship Is Ending
For every relationship that didn’t work out, the signs a relationship is ending begin to surface long before two people decide to part way. Take a trip down memory lane and introspect. You will find that these signs were evident in all of your past relationships. But perhaps you didn’t recognize them in time.
So, if you find yourself back in that situation where your relationship seems to hang by a thread, don’t repeat the mistake of turning a blind eye.
Perspective is the only thing that can help you navigate these troubled waters. To help ascertain whether you and your partner drifting apart or merely going through a bad phase, here are 13 surefire signs relationship is over to look out for:
Related Reading: How To End A Relationship On Good Terms
1. Not talking about the future
Did you both often have pillow talks about which kind of house you wished to move in eventually? And how many kids you both wanted to have? And suddenly all the healthy conversations about future have vanished in thin air?
If you find yourself or your partner unwilling to talk about it anymore, it is among the first subtle signs relationship is ending. It is possible that your relationship is heading south and either one or both of you are not feeling hopeful about the future anymore.
2. Spending more time with family and friends
Is your partner making elaborate plans with his family and friends without including you in them anymore? You can count it as one of the signs the relationship is ending for him or her.
If you observe that either one of you is spending more time, putting more efforts and energies on other people present in your inner circle rather than on each other, it indicates unresolved issues in your relationship.
If you’re still invested in your relationship, you can reach out to your partner and try to work through your problems. But before you do that, take a moment to analyze if your relationship is worth saving.
Otherwise, it’d be akin to flogging a dead horse.
3. Not breaking the ‘big news’ to your partner
Your boyfriend or girlfriend shouldn’t just be your better half but also your best friend and confidante. If you’ve chosen to spend your life with someone, they should be your priority and vice versa. If that’s not happening anymore, something is off.
When partners don’t feel the need to share a big development in their lives with each other first, it is one of the worrying signs your long term relationship is ending.
Hearing about how your boyfriend’s promotion from his pals rather than himself? Or, hearing from your girlfriend’s BFF how your partner was planning a solo trip? That’s a red flag you need to take stock of.
Related Reading: 7 Things No One Tells You About A Breakup
4. Lack of attention is among signs a relationship is over
If you find yourself repeating things that you just said to your partner or vice versa, then there is an evident lack of attention from either side. Now, this doesn’t mean you should go into the panic mode over the future of your relationship over an occasional absent-minded response or attention-deficit.
The stress of work, fatigue or being pre-occupied with other pressing issues can be the reason behind it. However, if lack of attention has become a norm in your relationship, then it could be one of the signs the relationship is over for her or him.
Or at least an indication that you both need to work on your equation. Nobody should have to repeat themselves thrice about how their day went, right?
5. Not fighting is also among signs relationship is ending
No fights, no arguments, no bickering – most people would describe that as an ideal state in a relationship. Contrary to this perception, a complete lack of fights is one of the signs a relationship is ending. Because when partners stop fighting, it usually means that they’ve stopped caring about the relationship.
How have they suddenly stopped caring about who you are hanging out with? Or how have you stopped being mad at them for not following the diet plan? It points to a sense of indifference toward each other. That makes it certain that one of you has given up on the relationship altogether.
6. Not doing any activities together
Every couple has certain rituals. Activities that they like to indulge in together. It can either be working out, cooking, watching a TV show together or just any activity that has become their ‘thing’.
If your partner is skipping over such ‘things’, it usually means that they are trying to avoid spending time with you. So, if you’re wondering how to know when a marriage is over or a long-term relationship has run its course, this is a sign worth paying attention to.
Related Reading: How To Break Up With A Guy Nicely?
7. Feeling lonely even when together
They are around but you feel like white noise in their life. The conversations have become empty or they’ve greatly reduced. And the touches have become cold and distant. This happens when either one or both partners have emotionally checked out of the relationship.
So if you find your partner or yourself feeling extremely aloof, even when physically present, then it’s an indication of your relationship being on rocks.
8. Meaningless intimacy means trouble in paradise
If you find yourself dreading to get physically intimate with your partner, it’s because you do not want to get vulnerable or emotionally open to your partner, anymore.
The kisses become meaningless and the spark is lost. Even though it isn’t an irreparable situation, it can spiral out of control quickly if you don’t address your issues. Non-sexual touches are integral to keep the spark alive between a couple.
Don’t give up on those ‘see you in the evening’ kisses and ‘welcome home’ kisses, if you want to salvage a relationship.
9. Finding flaws in your partner
Earlier you used to like their weird view of life but now you think they’re extremely immature? When things are new and fairytale-like, you tend to focus on your partner’s strengths more than their flaws.
But when things are heading south, even the smallest flaws or shortcomings can become major irritants. The way you talk about your partner to your friends and family is a tell-tale reflection of your actual feelings for them.
Related Reading: 5 Signs The No Contact Rule Is Working
10. Wondering if you can do better
‘If you are committed to somebody, you don’t allow yourself to find perfection in someone else.’ – Before We Go.
This movie quote perfectly sums up one of the most crucial signs a relationship is ending. Or that it is no longer growing and thriving. If you find yourself wondering if you could do better than your current partner, you may have admitted to yourself that the two of you aren’t growing in the same direction or at the same pace.
You are entertaining the thought – even if subconsciously – that eventually you may have to go your separate ways.
11. When you fight, things get ugly
Yes, you and your partner may not be fighting or arguing as much as before of late. But when the lid gets blown off the pent up resentment, your fights turn ugly. Instead of arguing over or talking about the issue at hand, either you or your partner start questioning the premise of your relationship.
If statements like ‘maybe we’re just not meant to be’, ‘we’re very different people’ or ‘a relationship shouldn’t be this hard’ are thrown around often, it’s among the worrying signs a relationship is over for her or him. Alternatively, becoming distant and resorting to the silent treatment at the slightest discord or disagreement is also equally unhealthy.
Fighting ugly doesn’t always mean shouting matches and angry outburst. Silence can be a torment too.
12. You are happier alone
You feel happier and more at peace when you’re away from your partner and vice-versa. If you’re not married or living together, you both start avoiding seeing each other. There is a reluctance to plan dates. Even if one partner makes a plan, the other cancels or backs out on some pretext or the other. And the other feels a sense of relief when that happens.
How to know when a marriage is over? Picture this: you’re perfectly happy and content being on your own. The minute your spouse walks through the door, the vibe changes to tense and awkward. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around each other and need to get away to be able to breathe again.
If that’s where you are in your relationship – married or not – there is little doubt that things are going downhill.
Related Reading: 11 Tips to Get Over Someone You Never Had
13. Reluctance to go into therapy
One of the surefire signs your long term relationship is ending is a reluctance to seek help. You and your partner have your share of problems but neither of you wants to go into couples’ therapy. Or perhaps, one partner has suggested this but the other just isn’t on board with the idea.
In that case, you can take it as one of the signs a relationship is ending for him or her.
When two people see hope for their future together, they want to do whatever it takes to make it work. This includes seeking professional help and working through your issues. Once that will is gone, not much can be done to salvage a relationship.
While it’s okay to be madly in love, do not lose sight of the reality of your relationship. It doesn’t take long for ‘relationship goals’ to turn into ‘relationship disaster’. Nor is it necessary that a relationship has to be toxic for it to end. Sometimes, couples just drift apart without a hurricane sweeping through their lives.
If there are love problems, there are always solutions for the same. So, don’t let these signs your long-term relationship is ending unnerve you. As long as you and your partner are willing to make the effort, there is always a way out.
If you can’t seem to find that way out on your, you can always reach out for professional help.