No one enters a new relationship thinking one day it’ll all be over. Yet, it is commonplace for partners to part ways. If you’re wondering how to know when a relationship is over, a little introspection will make the answer crystal clear. Long before you actually pull the plug, you struggle with a seething uneasiness, an urge to break free and the dilemma of whether to stay or leave.
This build-up of uncertainty is leading you (or your partner) to that tipping point where you finally decide and announce that the relationship is over. If it has been a long time coming, most people experience an instant sense of relief rather than sadness or grief over the relationship coming to an end.
But there are some obvious signs your relationship is over, even when you believe that the relationship exists. There are signs the relationship is over for her or signs that a man is done with the relationship or even signs that he is leaving you for another woman. You just need to decode those signs. With expert inputs from psychologist Juhi Pandey (M.A, psychology), let’s take a look at how you can do just that.
How To Know When A Relationship Is Over?
Relationships don’t end overnight. A degeneration sets in, driving partners apart. Either one or both partners begin giving up on a relationship even without realizing it. The signs that something is amiss are all over the place. However, your partner forgetting your birthday/anniversary isn’t really one of the obvious signs a relationship is over. All that calls for is one night of him/her sleeping on the sofa, and that problem won’t come up again.
Psychologist Juhi Pandey helps us decipher how to know when a relationship is over “One of the telltale signs that your relationship is pretty much over is when the genuine feelings you have are being ignored. If it feels like your partner can’t be bothered to talk to you, as if they’re avoiding asking you if there’s anything wrong/anything you need help with, it may be one of the glaring signs your long-term relationship is over,” she says.
Juhi says, “If such feelings persist over a longer period of time it’s better to have a constructive conversation with your partner and walk out of relationship rather than forcing a relationship out of nothing and hurting your mental well-
being in the process.”
As Juhi explains, once the relationship stops being fruitful, finding a way out becomes the priority. To make sure you aren’t floating about in an aimless relationship that isn’t fulfilling for either partner, it’s extremely important to catch the major signs of a failing relationship. Wondering how to know when a relationship is over? Look out for these 25 warning signs:
1. Lack of communication is among the warning signs that a relationship is over
Communicating with your partner is the backbone of a healthy relationship. From sharing the minutest details to your darkest, deepest thoughts – that’s how you build a strong bond.
Juhi says, “Lack of communication can question the overall existence of a relationship. No relationship will last if there isn’t open, judgment-free communication. In recent times, a lack of communication between partners has also been the reason for infidelity. “
If you or your partner suddenly close up for fear of being judged or misunderstood, it’s one of the biggest warning signs the relationship is over. At this point, you have to determine if the relationship is worth saving. Or would you be better off on your own?
2. How to know when a relationship is over? You feel a need to escape
Looking forward to spending time with your partner at the end of a long day is the sign of a healthy relationship. Even if being together means snuggling up and watching Netflix. If you’d rather be alone in a bar than at home with your partner then it is an obvious sign the relationship is over.
Or if the prospect of seeing your significant other fills you up with dread and anxiety, your relationship is definitely in big trouble. You might find yourself avoiding your partner or trying to delay talking to him/her. It doesn’t take much to ignore your partner, just noticing a notification from them and immediately keeping your phone away so you don’t have to “deal” with them could mean your relationship is dying.
3. Finding flaws with each other is a sign your relationship isn’t working
How do you know when a relationship isn’t working? If you both find flaws with everything that the other person does or says, you can be sure things will go south soon. Where you used to see nothing but beauty and charm, you may now see a reason to be annoyed. Once this starts happening, it’s one of the good signs your long-term relationship is over.
This tendency to find faults is often a result of resentment in the relationship. And that eventually takes a toll on your togetherness. When resentment and bitterness build up these are signs a long-term relationship is over.
4. Lack of intimacy is among the classic signs a relationship is over for men
Men behave differently than women in relationships. That’s why a lot of times partners struggle to make sense of what’s going on in the other person’s mind. Juhi says, “When you feel you are being ignored for a long period of time, it can be because your relationship is dying. There has to be an assessment, you’ve got to ask yourself and your partner if your needs or wants matter to them or not.”
If you’re wondering whether a man is still invested in the relationship, pay attention to his need for physical intimacy. A lack of interest in sex or being physically intimate is among the classic signs a relationship is over for men.
5. When communication equals fights, your relationship is on the verge of falling apart
Think back to the good old days when you could talk to each other effortlessly. Has that comfort been replaced with the constant fear of fights and confrontation? A harmless conversation may somehow turn into one of the worst fights ever. It’s as though you can’t talk about anything, all you two do is fight.
Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your partner or vice-versa? Make no mistake, it’s time to think of giving up on a relationship, not pondering upon “how to know when a relationship is over”.
6. You have thought about breaking up several times over
How do you know when your relationships over? Well, if you have been contemplating breaking up with your partner, you have your answer. The thought of a breakup doesn’t just enter your mind for no reason, it enters, and stays, because your subconscious already knows that your relationship is dying but you might not have accepted it yet.
It’s an obvious sign your relationship is over if you have wanted to take a break from the relationship and felt you need your alone time more. It’s only a matter of time before the scenario you have been playing in your head comes to pass. If you’re wondering how to know when a relationship is over, just think about how long the thought of breaking up stays in your mind after a nasty fight.
7. If you feel unsafe, it’s a warning sign your relationship is over
Feeling unsafe or threatened in the presence of a romantic partner is an alarming red flag that something is seriously wrong with your relationship, and one of the major signs of a failing relationship.
If you’ve been wondering when to call it quits in a relationship, this is where you should draw the line. A partner should be your safe place, but if you feel threatened and fearful around your partner then it’s time to call it quits.
Related Reading: 8 Ways To Fix A Broken Relationship With Your Boyfriend
8. When they’re not your go-to person anymore the relationship is over
Something unbelievably good or awful happens to you. Let’s say you get a big promotion or happen to be in a minor accident. If your partner is not the first person you call, it’s a clear indicator that things aren’t working out between you two. When you’re in a loving relationship, you’d want to share mundane things like the details of your lunch with your partner. If they’re not the first person you call when you’re in need of physical/emotional support, it’s one of the obvious signs a relationship is over.
Treat this as your eureka moment on when to call it quits in a relationship.
9. You have cheated on your partner or at least entertained the thought
Feeling a fleeting attraction toward someone else even when you’re in a committed, long-term relationship is not unusual.
However, if you’ve acted on those feelings or entertained the idea of cheating on your partner, you’re done with your relationship. If you feel attracted to other people despite being in a steady relationship, then the death knell of your relationship has sounded.
If you’ve cheated on your partner and are still trying to figure out “how to know when a relationship is over”, you’re most likely just running away from your own thoughts/feelings.
10. How to know when a relationship is over? Thinking of exes is an indicator
Have you been thinking of an ex a lot lately? Perhaps, the one that got away. Do you find yourself comparing your current relationship to your past ones?
And do you actually think that you were better off with one of your exes? Well, looks like you have your answer to how to know when a relationship is over.
11. Being angry or upset has become your default mood setting
Don’t remember the last time you felt happy, relaxed and in love? Is your face covered in a frown more often than not? Do you always feel anger bubbling up inside of you?
Has a tense vibe become a prevailing presence in your relationship? Then things have already fizzled out between you both. You either feel hurt and upset, or angry around your partner. This is a sign your long-term relationship is over.
12. You’re on the verge of an emotional breakdown
All that fighting, stress and unpleasantness is beginning to affect your mental health. You constantly feel like you’re on the brink of an emotional breakdown and talking to your partner is the last thing you want to do. This can often go overlooked as well, since mental health issues might not be given the attention they deserve while in a toxic relationship.
It’s about time you contemplate giving up on a relationship that’s taking a toll on you. This is an obvious sign your relationship is over.
13. How to know when a marriage is over? Trust issues are a tell-tale warning sign
Perhaps one of the spouses has cheated or there is a history of compulsive lying in the marriage. Eventually, these things take a toll on one of the most important cornerstones of a successful marriage – trust.
So if you’re wondering how to know when a marriage is over, trust issues are the first worrying sign to take note of. Once you start questioning your partner about where they were last night or who they were out with, it’s one of the biggest warning signs relationship is over.
14. When the spark fizzles out, it’s a warning sign a relationship is over
Every couple has its ups and downs. Rough patches, fights, bickering – these are all part of the package. In a healthy relationship, couples find a way to navigate these stormy spells because the spark between them is still very much alive.
Even if the spark may appear to be non-existent, a loving couple will do all they can to try and bring the magic back in their relationship. If that’s not the case with you and your partner, it’s a warning sign a relationship is over.
15. When you don’t see a future together, you know your relationship is in trouble
When you think of the future, is your partner a part of it? If not, then on a subconscious level you have already moved on. It’s only a matter of when to call it quits in a relationship now.
Having common goals and aspirations for a future is the sign of a normal healthy relationship, but when you do not have that anymore it’s an obvious sign the relationship is over.
16. How do you know when your relationship is over? Others take precedence in your life
Be it family, friends, colleagues or pets – every other person takes precedence over your partner. You’d much rather have a night out with your friends or attend that retreat with co-workers or go to brunch with your mom than do anything at all with your partner.
You do not enjoy spending time with your partner anymore and do not look forward to dates or shared activities.
17. How do you know when a relationship isn’t working? You feel it in your gut
It may just be the beginning of things going downhill in your relationship. You cannot pinpoint to what’s wrong, but you feel it in your gut. It’s like a nagging realization that something is amiss.
That things are not working out. Your instinct would say that things are not the same anymore and your relationship has started sliding downhill.
18. If you’re bored in a relationship, it’s a sign that things are not working out
Yes, the initial excitement and romantic high fade away after a while in every relationship. You become more settled, more at ease with each other.
However, if this sense of a settled rhythmic pace has been replaced by boredom, it’s a sign that things are not working out between you and your partner. It’s only a matter of time before one of you call it quits. It’s a definite sign the relationship is over for him.
Related Reading: 7 Things No One Tells You About A Breakup
19. You’re not ready to work at your problems
How to know when a marriage is over? Or when a relationship has run its course? Well, if either one or both the partners are not willing to do the work to resolve their issues, the writing is pretty much on the wall.
You, your partner or both of you have checked out of the relationship already. You are not willing to put in the effort to fix a broken relationship.
20. You feel alone even when you’re together
You may be doing your best to stick around for as long as you can. However, even when you’re both together, you feel alone. It’s almost as if you don’t know who this person sitting next to you is.
When you crave that old connection, but just don’t see it working out, your relationship may well be breathing its last.
21. Neither of you is ready to make compromises
If everything between you and your partner turns into an impasse, and neither of you is ready to budge from your stance, it’s a classic sign of giving up on a relationship.
You could be leading very separate lives with different aspirations and dreams. You are unable to understand each other at all anymore.
22. You have hit a wall
You might still be having feelings for your partner and have tried to convey as much to them, but every time you have hit a wall. They might not have been rude enough to tell you to your face that their feelings do not exist for you anymore, but you have not been able to perforate that wall.
When you have cried or talked about your pain, they could have pacified you but never expressed their own feelings. This is an absolute sign the relationship is over for them.
23. There is someone else
You might not know for sure that your partner is attracted to someone else, but there will be signs that he is leaving you for another woman or she is totally over the relationship because she is with someone else.
Look out for the signs of cheating in a relationship. Then you wouldn’t keep on putting in the effort to save the relationship. You would instantly know why it is not working.
24. You have drifted apart
People might start a relationship on a certain note, but they might drift apart in the long run. This is an obvious sign the relationship is over and you cannot salvage it even if you try.
When you have drifted apart you would end up missing the connection in your relationship and feel it is more of a burden than a joy.
25. How to know when a relationship is over? Therapy is not even an option
Couples therapy has proven benefits in helping people work through their differences and reconnect anew. If you prefer not to go to therapy, because you don’t want to flog a dead horse anymore, there is little room for debate that the relationship is over.
If you’re trying to figure out the answer to “how to know when a relationship is over”, ask yourself, do you relate to a majority of these signs? Then you know your relationship is already over. It’s best to pull the plug now so that both you and your partner have the chance to turn over a new leaf in your lives. Better to be happy alone than being miserable together! If you need help salvaging your relationship or moving on, our expert counselors are only a click away.
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The signs of a relationship ending are when there is a communication gap, lack of physical intimacy and you do not have common future goals.
You know your relationship is really over when your partner builds a wall around them that you cannot penetrate despite your constant efforts. You do not work on your problems together, but focus on the flaws, have constant fights and there is a sense of boredom and a need to escape. You keep thinking of your exes a lot, you are attracted to other people and you feel the relationship is a burden.
When you know your relationship is coming to an end, you have to know if you want to put in the effort to try and save the relationship or you want to let go.
You know your partner is over you when you feel emotionally and physically distant from them. They have no inclination to share their life with you and there is a complete breakdown of communication.