Infidelity and the signs
You can’t ignore the suspicious change of behaviour in your spouse if you have been together long enough. But it’s not an easy thing to do. To be sure of your spouse’s cheating you would need physical evidence to confront them. This is because a person who is determined to deceive you will never come clean by having open and honest discussions.
The usual signs of coming home late, spending unaccounted money, investing more than usual time on personal grooming are some common ways to validate your suspicion, but it’s not enough to know for sure if your spouse has cheated on you. They could be going through some serious life altering issues that they are not ready to share with you yet and trying on their own to cope with. They could be developing a secret drug or gambling addiction. No matter what, you can never know for sure if your spouse has cheated on you solely based on their change in activities and preferences. But if you want nothing but the truth, you need to look at the right places.
Every liar has loopholes in their stories
If you have been married for a considerable amount of time you are probably aware of your spouse’s mannerism when they are telling the truth. Even though it’s easy for you to assume that you already know this, don’t be so sure just yet. Ask them a few questions about things you already know the answer to and keenly observe their behaviour when responding to your question. Notice the hand and feet gesture, eye movement and tone of voice. Do this for a few days to get really good at reading him.
When you think you are ready to take the plunge, take note of your spouse’s most suspicious absent times and slowly introduce your questions without causing any concern to them. Take full control of your emotions and don’t press if your spouse tries to dodge the questions. Bring them up when they are not expecting them and really observe how their mannerism changes when answering. No matter how great your spouse is at deceiving, they will have some loopholes in the stories for sure. You must be in full control of your emotions to notice.
Read more: “We’re in lust, not love,” she said
Phone – Sex – Less involvement in the family (or overcompensation)
Some spouses become too secretive about their phones when cheating. They take calls away from you, they keep changing the passwords, their phone is busy at odd hours – but a skilled liar knows that these signs are obvious. So they adopt a completely opposite approach. They become extra-cool about their phone to not raise your suspicion. Any of these two behaviours can be a potential sign of cheating. Similarly, a cheating partner turns cold about having sex with you over time or gets over enthusiastic about experimenting in the bedroom because of the reawakened libido. They also tend to ditch family times and time with the kids since they have to now manage their schedule for the secret affair. The other extreme is when they tend to overcompensate by bringing more gifts to please you all.
In any case, a liar establishes the lies based on their intellect and deceiving skills. There is no fits-all sign that can prove his/her infidelity unless your spouse makes a blunder to dry the dirty laundry out in the open. But sooner or later every lie does come out.