Richard Dawkins, one of the founding philosophers and evolutionary biologists of modern times, debating the evolution of humanity over the existence of an intelligent ‘God’ said humans are genetically polygamous. That, however much we may try to drill ideas of loyalty, fidelity or the moral superiority of being a monogamous person, human beings by virtue of their genetic makeup will remain polygamous in their heads. Or rather, in their blood and guts. But clearly, that’s not what we want and that’s not what we would like to believe in when it comes to trusting our partners. In our eyes and hearts, their love is an equivalent function of their sexual loyalties to us.
How can you prevent your mind from wondering? Is there somehow you can check your partner’s behaviour to discover if they’re cheating on you?
1. The devil wears the smartphone!
Yes, call it the invasion of digital media or the social network negative feedback loop, you have to spot your partner who seems to be on his or her phone 24×7. We live in a time and age where our smartphones are nothing less than appendages to our hands and limbs. For some of us they are definitely parts of our souls – like the horcrux in the world of Harry Potter. But then, within couples the phone may become an important marker for fishy things going on in the backyard! If you happen to find your partner or lover on the phone all the time, even when he or she is with you – maybe on dates or in romantic getaways – hardly paying attention to what you’re saying or trying to convey and replying to you in monosyllables, it might be a sure shot sign of cheating-in-progress. Keep a check for that!
Related reading: 6 reasons why women have an affair
2. If they’re turning into a fighter-cock
They were fine earlier. In fact silent, peace loving people they were. But now, whenever they come home from office or from work, all you see on their face is a scowl! Even when you smile at them, they seem to be irritated all the time and try to pick fights on the slightest pretext. They want to get their way all the time and not one day passes when they aren’t screaming at you, passing a sarcastic remark or throwing things at the dining table without a concrete reason. This is an important sign for you to step back and see what must be channeling this kind of a reaction in your partner. Nine out of ten times, it’s an affair happening outside your knowledge.
3. The Houdini Act
One day they are smiling, happy with you. They go out with you, spend the entire day and night, have drinks, make merry and spend the sweetest possible time. But next day, they just disappear. They don’t return your calls, don’t text. They only tell you they are busy and don’t come back home. And this sort of repeats itself, twice or thrice a month. Sometimes in some kind of a periodic rhythm too. It is important to look beneath this pattern. They may eventually come back to you and tell you how much they love you, buy gifts for you, and take you to the best of places for lunch or for dinner, but that might just be guilt propelling them. They maybe finding it really hard to tell you the truth and the guilt instead might be bringing in the outpourings of love on such days.
Related reading: 7 sex positions a woman should try in her lifetime
4. Don’t be a homebird!
This is when they may suddenly start telling you to go out, meet new people, gather new experiences. Their reason for doing so may be that if you start meeting new people, they can do so too. Sometimes, they may even push the idea of a third one in the bedroom in the name of adding spice to your sex life or for the sake of experimentation. You never know to what level that may go up to. Saying a simple NO may not be helpful in such situations. It is imperative that you cross question the intentions of your partner thoroughly and read between the lines. They may be planning something completely different in their heads.
5. What’s all that sweating about?
They may look anxious almost all the time. Cheating perhaps has drained out their energies and they may find themselves at constant battles in hiding things from you. The energy of it eventually becomes very nervous and unstable. So, whenever both of you are together, they seem to be quite nervous as if between wanting to tell you things and hiding them away. You may also find them repeatedly checking their phone. Or at times, not answering certain calls when both of you are together. When you ask, they may tell you that’s stress at work, but try to look for the hook. It might be of a different kind of secret that’s making them nervous.