Moving in together is a major step. You’re agreeing that you’re going to share your immediate day-to-day living space with a whole other person, their habits, their quirks, the annoying way they chew their food. While love and romance is certainly a part of it, it’s always good to be prepared for the practicalities.
The House Is As Important As The Home
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DO discuss beforehand about the specifics of your abode – neighbourhood, number of bedrooms needed and so on. Take a while to check out options and see what works for both of you.
DON’T put off discussing it with your respective families till the last minute. If one or both of you are still living with your parents, make sure you give them time to get used to the idea, not just of you moving out, but of living with a partner. Even if you’ve already moved out of home, have a conversation. Include them in the decision but make sure they don’t take over your decisions!
Once you’ve moved in, DO make sure you share and coordinate household duties equally. Assuming you’re both working, neither of you wants to come home to a mountain of dishes or the smell of burnt cooking. Get some help if possible because you won’t want to come home and cook or wash every day.
Related reading: Love, live-in and the law
Fix The Money
DO maintain your finances and make sure you have a budget that you both agree on. Remember you’ll have different ideas about spending and what constitutes a budget. Hear each other out and try and reach a consensus.
DON’T give up your individual bank accounts. Make a joint account if you so choose for household expenses etc. But keep your separate accounts as well. It’s only practical to maintain some semblance of independence.
- Establish Open Communication About Finances: Have regular conversations about income, expenses, and savings goals. Clear communication helps avoid misunderstandings and builds trust around financial matters.
- Create a Joint Budget: Sit down together to create a budget that takes both partners’ financial priorities into account. Include categories for essentials, savings, and discretionary spending.
- Respect Different Spending Habits: Understand that you may have different spending styles (e.g., one partner may be a saver, the other a spender). Acknowledge these differences and find a middle ground that works for both.
- Set Financial Goals Together: Agree on short-term and long-term financial goals, such as paying off debt, saving for a home, or building an emergency fund. This ensures both partners are working toward shared objectives.
- Consider Professional Financial Advice: If needed, seek help from a financial advisor to create a plan that accommodates both partners’ needs and helps you manage finances effectively.
Related reading: Money and living-in
Together But Individual
DO keep time aside for your own interests and hobbies. It’s easy, when living together, to start doing everything together. Make time to see your friends, catch up on things you enjoy, or just a few hours of me-time. Space is all-important.
On the other hand, DON’T start taking your partner for granted just because you see them all the time. Be there to lend an ear when they’ve had a hard day at work, have date-nights whenever possible and keep the romance alive.
And Have Fun!
DO remember to be kind. People we live with tend to get on our nerves, even the ones we love best. You’ll likely suddenly discover dozens of tiny little habits that were cute earlier, but which make you want to tear your hair out now. She snores, he leaves toothpaste all over the sink…etc, etc. Think before you flare up, bite your tongue occasionally and if you have to have a good old bust-up, make sure the making up is even better.
FAQs
1. How do we ensure we’re on the same page about expectations in a live-in relationship?
Have open and honest conversations about your expectations regarding finances, chores, personal space, and future plans before moving in together.
2. How do we handle finances in a live-in relationship?
Decide on a fair system for splitting expenses, such as dividing bills proportionally based on income or contributing to a joint account.
3. How can we maintain our individuality while living together?
Encourage each other to pursue personal hobbies and interests. Set aside time for alone time or spending time with friends separately.
Final Thoughts
Embarking on a live-in relationship is a significant step in any partnership. It’s a chance to deepen your bond, share daily life experiences, and build a future together. While it can be incredibly fulfilling, it also comes with its unique set of challenges.
Living together is a journey of discovery, both about your partner and yourself. Embrace the joys and challenges that come with it, and with a little effort and understanding, you can build a strong foundation for a lasting and loving relationship. f you’re facing difficulties, our counselors are here to help. Don’t hesitate to reach out for our professional guidance and support. We can equip you with the tools and strategies to build a fulfilling and sustainable live-in relationship.
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When you are thinking about moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it can seem like an exciting whirlwind of activity as you look at apartments and buy duvets. It’s actually a big step. So, it’s really necessary to check all the do’s and don’ts.
Nice pointers and if you are thinking to move in with your partner, you surely should check out these points.