Are you going through a tough time after a breakup and thinking about getting back with your ex-boyfriend? Well, guess what? I’ve got some intriguing news for you — All it takes is 3 texts to get him back (yes, get him back fast)! Communication is a powerful tool, and when you choose the right words, perfect timing, and some clever strategies, you can create a message that truly grabs his attention. A message that has the potential to reignite his interest and bring him back into your life.
How To Get Your Ex Back By Text Message – 3 Powerful Texts
In today’s day and age where patience is depleting, relationships end abruptly in the blink of an eye. However, if you have reflected on your breakup (read: you still think about your ex), you might have identified the issues that caused the split. Now that you have some clarity and wish to get him back, it is time to whip out the best weapon in your arsenal: text messages!
Here is a simple way to get your ex-boyfriend back with the help of these texts – remind, remember, and reminisce. With this rule in mind, we have curated a list of 3 texts to get him back fast. So read on!
1. The reminder text
There are many sweet things to say to your ex-boyfriend to get him back. But before you make some hasty phone calls or send long messages to get your ex back, we suggest you hold your horses. If you and your ex-boyfriend have not been in contact since the breakup, this is one of the 3 texts to get him back. All it needs to be is a positive reminder of you. Send him a short and sweet text which requires no response, so he doesn’t feel compelled to start a conversation. It can be about anything – a handwritten letter you sent him earlier or your favorite movies.
We recommend you to stop texting things like “How are you?” and “Wanna catch up?” The truth is, such messages could make your ex-boyfriend feel a little uneasy. The guy has no idea if you are inviting him to chat, or if you are about to confront him. Therefore, a shared memory or experience would be a better way to rekindle romance with your ex.
What to text
Still wondering what to text him to get him back? Let us make this easy for you with an example. If your ex is a huge fan of Coldplay, you can text your ex: “Hey, I heard Coldplay is coming to town. I know that you’ve always wanted to see them perform live. Thought I’d give you a heads-up. We missed it last time because I got sick and you stayed back to take care of me. Hope you catch them this time!”
Why this works
The idea behind this approach is to employ the concept of the ‘12-word text’ introduced by James Bauer in his book, His Secret Obsession. The 12-word text aims to tap into a man’s hero instinct by seeking his advice, requesting his help, or acknowledging his past contributions. For instance, if you mention how his support helped you overcome your fear of water, you are activating his hero button and making him feel wanted.
Sarah (31), a paralegal in Seattle, shares an instance to get your ex-boyfriend back, “You know how I started my conversation with my ex three months after the break-up? By sending him a text to remind him of a match he was really looking forward to. I was wondering if he’d reply at all. Half an hour later, he thanked me for the reminder. And the best thing is, he even asked me to join him for the match!”
Whether you send out a “hey” or write down long messages to get your ex back, it’s a good thing to approach this situation with sensitivity and respect for your ex’s boundaries and emotions. So, let’s keep a few rules in mind:
- Your ex-boyfriend may not be ready or willing to reply in the first place
- Respect his decision if he’s not ready to engage or if he indicates that he’s not interested at all
- Sending your ex flirty texts (to remind him of your relationship and win him back) can have negative consequences, especially if you haven’t had any contact for a while
- Instead, you can use texts as a means to gently remind your ex that he still crosses your mind from time to time, without pressuring him to respond or resume the relationship
Related Reading: How To Win Your Ex Back – And Make Them Stay FOREVER
2. The remember text
Still wondering how to get your ex back fast by text message? Well, get ready because we’re about to dive into the second phase of the ‘3 texts to get him back’ strategy. This part is all about sending a text to your ex that prompts a response, rather than just reminding him of the past. The idea here is to remind your ex-boyfriend of a shared experience, which can be a powerful way to rekindle your ex’s feelings. We’re sure that, at this point, you can easily think of sweet things to say to your ex-boyfriend to get him back.
But remember that reconnecting with ex-partners can be a delicate process. So it’s important to be subtle while getting back with your ex. You don’t want to overwhelm him with your message – that’s our advice, your dating coach for today.
What to text
Instead of resorting to manipulative or insincere tactics, it’s best to focus on genuine communication. So when you craft texts to send your ex to get him back, just follow this simple guide:
- Select a memory that stands out and can evoke strong emotions and true feelings in your ex (for example, a romantic road trip)
- Once you’ve chosen the memory, think about the specific details. (For example, if you discovered a hidden beach during your road trip or stumbled upon a fantastic café, these are the specific details you can think about)
- The next step is to refer to that memory by asking your ex a question related to it. (Here’s an instance to get your guy back: “Hey, you. Do you remember the name of that amazing café we stumbled upon during our road trip? You know, the one with those insane pancakes we couldn’t stop eating? My sister is visiting soon, and I wanted to take her there. Let me know if you recall the name.”)
Why this works
Here are a few things to notice in the above example that will help you understand why this works in helping you get your man back:
- You’re subtle (you do not want to give away that you regret breaking up with him)
- You’re reminding him of a beautiful experience that will induce nostalgia
- You’re not sending out a negative text with a false hope (it will not get you a positive response)
- You’re giving him a topic to ask a follow-up question. He might end up asking you about your sister, leading to a conversation
- You’re using the 12-word text to get him back because you are seeking his help. This approach subtly activates the hero instinct in your ex, compelling him to respond
Most exes have new partners after a breakup and that’s not a big deal. However, if you feel your ex is your soulmate and there’s a good chance that your ex cannot move on, it is the right time to send this text to your ex. The one thing you must remember is: even if you want your ex back and play all your cards right, even if you send out a great first text, it still might not work in your favor. In such a case, do not make a big move or send a nasty last text to your ex. Chances are that you won’t feel good and will keep on looking for more ways to win over your ex again.
Related Reading: Why Would A Guy Reject You If He Likes You?
3. The reminisce text
Now, let’s move on to the third and final part of our 3 texts to get him back. This one is all about sending a reminiscence text that’s bound to evoke some heartfelt emotions. But hold on a sec! We recommend waiting until you’ve had a few conversations with your ex-boyfriend before sending this kind of a memory text.
What to text
Here’s how you go ahead. Recall a sensuous moment you shared before you write it down in a reminiscing text. Maybe you had a steamy makeout session in the rain, or maybe you spent the evening cuddled up in each other’s arms in front of a fire. This is one of the 3 texts to get him back fast where there is no right or wrong message; only one that will make his mind race and rebuild attraction.
To know how to get your ex back fast by text message, you can send him something like this: “I can’t stop thinking about the time when we…” Take it forward from here and reminisce about a deeply personal memory. It does not necessarily have to be sensual. If the two of you shared more of a vanilla relationship, you can reminisce about something you liked doing only with each other or how you loved spending time together.
Why this works
Well, it’s simple. You want to create a solid foundation of communication before delving into nostalgia. That way, when you finally send that text, it’ll have an even greater impact. So, take your time, have a few meaningful exchanges, and then you’ll be ready to bring back those good times and sweet memories. The reminiscence text works like magic and can raise your ex’s curiosity.
Jonah, 29, shares one of the instances to get your guy back. “It was raining last night and I was missing my ex-boyfriend. I wanted us to get back together. So naturally, I was wondering what to text him to get him back. I messaged him how I miss our long drives in the rain which were always followed by a movie by the fireplace and some romantic time between the sheets. This is certainly the best way of getting your ex back. Why? Because an hour later, he was at my door!”
When you send a reminisce message to your ex, be detail-oriented. Include all the cherished memories, emphasizing the positive ones while avoiding the negative aspects. This will evoke a sense of longing in your ex, making him question his decision to end the relationship. The bottom line is – your ex will start to miss you.
- If you’re wondering how to get your ex-boyfriend back, follow the rule of reminding, remembering, and reminiscing through texts
- Start with a positive reminder text that doesn’t require a response, then send a text that prompts a response by reminding him of a shared experience, and finally, when the timing is right, send a heartfelt reminisce text
- Focus on sharing cherished memories while leaving out the negative aspects, as this will create a longing in your ex, making your ex-boyfriend miss you and question his decision to end the relationship
- While crafting texts to send your ex to get him back, use the 12-word text to trigger his hero instinct for a faster response
Will you try these 3 texts to get him back? If yes, remember to be patient and be prepared for the possibility of disappointment as well. While there are many addictive flirty texts that claim to bring your ex back, the ones that truly have an impact are those that make him reconsider the breakup. Remember what we mentioned earlier? Your words are your best weapons in this battle. If you use them correctly, there’s a good chance that your ex will start missing you and eventually come back to you. You got this!
The 12-word text is a theory developed by James Bauer that talks about using texts to initiate contact and trigger a man’s hero instinct. According to this theory, by following 12 simple steps, you can compose a message that will make him obsessed with you. It’s all about knowing how to craft the perfect message that ignites his inner hero and grabs his attention.
If you want to get your ex to miss you, the key is to let them think you don’t. Yes, even when you’re dying for their attention. Follow the no-contact rule for a while and when you do come in contact with them at the right time, show off your better version. Let them realize how happy and content you are. When they see that you’re genuinely thriving without them, it’s bound to trigger a sense of longing and make them miss you even more.
This article was updated in June, 2023.