If you are here looking for questions to ask your ex, then, firstly, I am sorry that your relationship didn’t get its fairy-tale ending. Some relationships run their course and two people drift apart. The breakup could have happened for any reason. Either of the people involved in the relationship might have fallen out of love, or you feel like there’s no spark left, or maybe, somebody cheated. The fact of the matter is, you have broken up and you have a lot of unresolved matters that need to be solved.
It’s important to have closure after a breakup. Closures are important because it helps us navigate what happened and where it went wrong. It also prevents you from repeating the same mistakes in your new relationship. Below are some useful, important, and funny questions to ask your ex for closure.
23 Questions To Ask Your Ex After A Breakup
Breakups are difficult to deal with. You feel heartbroken and spend most of your time in bed eating ice cream and watching sappy rom-coms to help you restore your faith in love. While you are looking for ways to get through a breakup, you are battling the urge to reconcile as well. But before you make that big decision of reconciling, here are some questions to ask your ex, which will help you decide better.
1. What attracted you to me?
This is one of the first and funny questions to ask your ex as it’ll help you set the mood right. You don’t want to immediately pull out the big guns and drive them away. Begin with lighter things and ask what attracted them to you or what they liked about you the most.
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2. What is your favorite memory of us?
If the intention behind this is to get him back, then this will work wonders. There are so many reasons why making memories is important in a relationship because memories strengthen the relationship. By asking them for a favorite memory, you are making them revisit all your memories together. This will definitely remind your ex of the good times you two had and it will make them rethink the breakup.
3. How do you feel about me now?
He might have thought of you as his soulmate when the two of you were together. But how does he feel about you now? This is one of the questions to ask your ex for closure. If he still thinks you are his soulmate, then he is regretting the breakup. If he says he has lost all his feelings for you, then that’s your cue to move on.
4. Why did we break up?
This is one of the deep questions to ask your ex for perspective. Why did the two of you break up? Understand the cause of the break up from your ex’s standpoint. Maybe they think you are the reason for the breakup. Or perhaps they think they deserve someone way better than you. Find out what their breakup excuse is by asking your ex such questions. It will shine light on a lot of things.
5. What were my good and bad qualities as a girlfriend?
This is one of the funny questions to ask your ex. Ask them to reveal which of your qualities they were fond of and which they completely detested. Did they like the way you cared about them? Did they love your cooking? Do they admire your strength and resilience?
Find out which traits and quirks of yours they tolerated. Did they hate it when you spoke with food in your mouth? Did they hate your snoring? They wouldn’t have shared their opinions about these things so openly when they were with you. You can avail this opportunity to learn even more about yourself and use it to be better in your next relationship.
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6. What went wrong in our relationship?
There are many reasons why a relationship ends. Knowing more about such things will help you deal with the break up. You need to know where the relationship went wrong. Were you not a good listener? Was there lack of communication in the relationship? Did they forget to shower you with words of admiration and affirmation? Did either of you lie in the relationship? You might know the surface level reason behind the breakup but these questions will help you unravel the lesser known reasons.
7. What do you miss about the relationship?
This is one of the random questions to ask your ex boyfriend. This doesn’t have to mean you want them back in your life or that you are still in love with them. Maybe you genuinely want to know if they miss being around you. It doesn’t matter if the relationship ended on a good or bad note. We always miss people once they are not in our lives anymore. Ask your partner what’s the one thing they miss about being with you and the relationship.
8. Do you regret being in a relationship with me?
I have always believed that regret is a very strong emotion. Guilt and regret make people better humans. Ask your ex if they regret being with you, if they regret the entire relationship. You can also twist the question and ask if they regret breaking up with you.
9. Do you think there’s anything you would have done differently in the relationship?
There are many things that one thinks they could have done differently while being nostalgic about the relationship. Asking such questions is one of the reasons why breakups hit guys later. Some think they should have compromised a little more. Some regret being so egoistic and arrogant with their partner. This is one of the random questions to ask your ex-boyfriend.
10. Do you miss my cats?
This is one of the funny questions to ask your ex. When you are in a relationship with someone, you get attracted to their pets as well. It doesn’t matter if you hate your partner now, but there’s no denying you loved that innocent little creature. Find out if your partner misses cuddling with you or your pet more.
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11. Did you ever cheat on me?
This is one of the important yet deep questions to ask your ex. If you ever suspected them of cheating on you, now is the right time to ask if they had surrendered to their temptations. If they say they didn’t, then throw a slightly different question at them. Ask if they at least thought of cheating on you.
12. Do you ever imagine what would’ve happened if we were still together?
The “what ifs” and “could have beens” have led to many people reconciling with their partners. Do you think we could’ve been married by now? What if we were still living together? Do you think we could’ve gotten a new pet? If you are looking for ways to get back together with your ex, ask them such things which will evoke a lot of nostalgia in them.
13. Would you give us another chance?
There’s no playing around with this question because people are willing to give it another chance only for two reasons — they still have feelings for you and they still believe in making the relationship work. If they say yes, then it means they are open to the idea of giving the relationship another chance. The answer to the question is going to be a yes or no. Be prepared for it. Don’t be surprised or disheartened if they give you an unexpected answer.
14. Do you trash talk about me with your friends?
How many of us have done this? Almost all of us have dissed our exes in front of our friends and family members. It’s as if it’s unnatural to say nice things about an ex. Every time I hear a friend tell me their breakup story, what immediately follows is a diss track and asking for ways on how to get revenge on an ex. This is one of the questions to ask your ex and find out if they’ve ever spoken badly about you with their special ones.
15. What did your friends and family think about me?
When you’re in a relationship with someone for a long time, you introduce them to the people close to you. You wouldn’t have impressed every single person you’ve met in your life. So, ask this question and find out how many of his friends and family members didn’t like you and hated the idea of the two of you together.
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16. Are you happy now?
There could be two intentions behind asking this question. You either genuinely want him to be happy or you are just checking if he’s happy without you in his life. This is one of the questions I asked my ex a few weeks after the breakup. I wanted to know if my exit from his life impacted him in any way. Long story short, he was happy when I was with him. He was happier when I left him. Anyway, let’s move on to the next question.
17. Have you moved on and started dating again?
Some people jump back into the dating game a couple of days after the breakup. Some take their time and remain single for a while. This is one of the questions to ask your ex to find out if they are still sad about the breakup or they are looking for a rebound relationship and they’ve long forgotten you.
18. Do you want to stay in touch with me?
I personally believe exes can never be good friends. There will be jealousy, bickering, and fights. It’s better to not stay in touch with an ex. But if that’s what you want, then asking such questions will help you in figuring out if they want you in their life. Even if it’s just as a friend.
19. Do you compare your current girlfriend to me?
The comparison trap is real and always sets unrealistic expectations. Two people can never be alike. If your ex is comparing you to their current partner, then there’s a chance the current relationship isn’t living up to their expectations. It’s not a good thing to rejoice over, but if you still have feelings for them, you can use this to your favor and maybe have a talk about getting back together with them.
20. Is there anything you’ve learnt from me?
This is one of the questions to ask your ex because you learn a lot from a person you’ve been with for so many years. You inculcate kindness, the ability to let go, you even learn how to control your anger. When I asked my former lover what he learnt from me, he said, “I learnt the difference between your and you’re.” Believe it or not, that felt like a big accomplishment.
21. How was our sex life?
Sexual intimacy is as important as other types of intimacy in a relationship. It brings two people together in a very delicate yet passionate way. Ask your ex whether they enjoyed having sex with you. If they say they didn’t, then ask them what you lacked in bed. You can use that information to better yourself in the next relationship.
22. How would you describe me to your future lovers?
This is one thing I am always curious about. Would they ever tell their partner about the nature, personality, and the character of their previous lovers? I always wondered how my ex partner would have described me. Gentle? Loyal? Narcissist? Egomaniac? When I had an opportunity to ask him this question, he said, “I’ve mentioned you as a crazy book hoarder who reads a lot. And also as a know-it-all.” That kind of shocked me because not once during the relationship did he taunt me as a know-it-all. Thanks to all these questions, I found out what he actually thought of me.
23. Do you think we could’ve saved the relationship?
This is one of the heartbreaking questions to ask your boyfriend. Were there signs your relationship was beyond repair that you had no other option but to put an end to it? Ask them if they even for once thought about saving the relationship. The answers to these will help you in accepting the breakup and moving on.
Relationships are beautiful when they receive equal amounts of love, effort, and compromise. When one of the things goes missing, the relationship begins to tumble and fall apart. If you want to talk to your ex and don’t know where to begin, the above-mentioned questions are a great way to start the conversation.