No matter how great of a start your love life might have, there are many things that destroy a marriage that can creep into your life at any time. Distance, solitude, misunderstandings and petty arguments are only the tip of the iceberg.
A marriage is generally considered to be a union that lasts a lifetime. However, these days relationships and expectations are changing almost daily. This means that the ‘forever-after’ label traditionally slapped on a marriage might be fading a little
What Destroys A Marriage?
In an age of individuality, the sense of community might have dwindled, but people’s self worth has finally taken a step forward. It is no more about compromises by just one partner (read: mostly the woman) while the other partner reaps all the benefits of the union. No, it is now more about understanding each other and performing equally so that both can be inspired to maintain the relationship.
This way, duties are manifold and merely earning money and putting food to the table does not cater to the demands of the institution called marriage. There is more to sustaining and ticking off your happy marriage checklist.
But there are things that destroy a marriage and a lack of some things that can also perhaps tell you that your marriage might be on the rocks. Bonobology spoke to 8 sources and we are here to tell you what they had to say about the same. What ruins marriages? Let’s hear it from them.
1. Communication is the key
One of the ways husbands destroy their marriage is by trying to be the alpha male in the relationship. A woman can only put up with such a personality for so long. Eventually, she needs to be heard too and not everything she wants to say can be lost in translation.
2. Love yourself
When dealing with insecure women, the relationship is bound to go downhill if the woman does not work upon her own self worth first. Yes, your personal baggage is one of the things that destroy a marriage if you don’t introspect or get help at the right time.
First, one must embark on a journey of self-love before they can set expectations of receiving love from others. Otherwise, your own insecurities will start eating away at your confidence and at your relationship.
Related Reading: Here is a video on five communication mistakes that couples make!
3. Talk often
A marriage is not just about fulfilling the right responsibilities and being a dutiful husband or wife. It is also about a companionship even when the honeymoon period is over or the prime years are long gone. The romantic spark might wane but one should make a conscious effort to talk more and engage regardless.
4. There are always two sides of a story
What ruins marriages is a lack of trust and healthy communication. Blame shifting comes easily when you don’t even make the effort to resolve the problem at hand. Remember, your wife or your partner deserves to be heard and acknowledged. Take the time to ask them and listen to them about what they have to say. This is the first step towards practicing healthy understanding in a relationship.
5. Cheating can destroy lives
Cheating is often one thing that many marriages have simply not been able to come back from. While some couples have indeed been lucky, taken the right counseling and overcome cheating in their relationship, others often give up.
It is undeniable that one of the things that destroy a marriage and can even destroy a person is a cheating partner. It can often lead to mental health issues for years to come and completely disrupt your family life.
6. Fighting is never the solution
The thing with fighting is, that when it becomes excessive and goes overboard – it simply turns into noise. And quickly that noise turns into white noise, something that is always present but nobody pays attention to it.
When fighting and arguments take such a turn, your marriage is indeed on a steady decline. Because your conflict resolution capacity might be far from a point of return. It is at this point one must seriously consider therapy and counseling to back track and assess some of your marital problems.
Related Reading: Fighting Is Fine…But How Do You Know It’s Over?
7. It’s all about space
Remember, that your marriage is your personal happy space and you can only make it happy when you practice good values and practices to keep it running. Sometimes, when the jealous mother in laws become too possessive, one must quickly try to resolve the same.
Talk to your mother-in-law and distance your marriage from her. Apart from cultural and generational differences, mothers-in-law are often protective and that can make them a little aggressive sometimes even if it is in good faith. Know when it starts to become one of the things that destroy a marriage and try to deal with it immediately.
8. Respect each other’s choices
What ruins marriages more often than you think is a lack of respect in the relationship. Sadly, to keep a marriage up and running, just love is not enough. Compromise, understanding, empathy and respect are some of the core values one must foster to have a good marriage.
Lack of respect, distance, failure to understand, loss of intimacy, too much family intervention are some of the things that can make a marriage messy and eventually fail.
When one person is always distant, feels neglected, the sex is not good anymore or you both don’t feel like talking to each other anymore.
Some of the biggest problems in a marriage are infidelity, lack of communication and disrespecting your spouse and their choices.