Talking about relationship pet peeves, American singer Carrie Underwood once said in an interview that she wouldn’t have tolerated her husband’s dirty laundry lying around the house if it was not for love. The story runs in reverse for our favorite celeb couple Beyonce and Jay-Z as she is a little disorderly at home and Jay likes things organized. Like that, we all have a list of things that we can’t stand, like know-it-alls or chewing noises.
It’s one thing to face these pet peeves occasionally. But when you have to live with them every day because your partner is the source of them, these turn into ‘relationship pet peeves’. You are not alone in this. People, in general, get ticked off by many things their partners regularly do. Some learn to make peace with it or ignore it; for others, some relationship pet peeves become deal breakers.
What Are Relationship Pet Peeves?
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If you haven’t quite caught on the pet peeves meaning yet, Collins dictionary defines it as a “particular and often continual annoyance”. It’s absolutely normal to have relationship pet peeves because no two people are molded to perfectly fit each other’s personality types. There are certain things about your partner that are bound to annoy you even if it’s something like not doing the dishes on time.
Studies show that relationship pet peeves are negatively correlated with relationship satisfaction, well-being, and mindfulness. From an outsider’s perspective, common pet peeves in a relationship may not seem like a big deal to cope with. But certain alarming traits like unreliability, being prone to silent treatment, selfishness, or keeping in touch with an ex often border on relationship red flags.
That is exactly why these aversions should be addressed or nipped in the bud. Because when a minor thing keeps bugging you for a long time, it can blow way out of proportion leading to ugly fights. There’s no point in stalling the conversation thinking it might hurt your partner. Let them know gently what’s bothering you.
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Top 35 Pet Peeves In Relationships
According to a survey among housemates, 45% of the participants consider neglecting to take out the trash as a point of annoyance while 30% can’t stand their housemates talking loudly on the phone. These can also be examples of irritants in a relationship if you are living together. But there are a lot more. We are here with a list of 35 weird pet peeves that are common in relationships:
1. Not taking part in household chores
A fundamental relationship pet peeve. Disproportionate division of work at home invites a lot of trouble between couples. Imagine, you take care of the cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping while keeping a 9-to-5 job. And your partner comes home late every day to avoid all of these responsibilities. It can easily trigger resentment. If you are wondering, “What are women’s top pet peeves?”, this could be one of them.
2. Keeping score
Count this as one of the biggest relationship pet peeves as this bad habit can kill the romance and push your relationship toward a dead end. “I made dinner 4 times this week, and you made it only 3 times”, “He left me on seen, now I will do the same”, “If she can like her ex’s picture, so can I” – that’s not how you sustain a healthy relationship.
3. Different food preferences
How can such a trivial matter be a point of irritation? Well, then picture this. You, a strict vegan, are dating a non-vegetarian and your partner eats chicken every day. It may reach a point where you turn to separate rooms for eating lunch.
4. Being clingy
The needy childish nature, wanting more and more hugs and kisses, constantly asking for attention – all of it appears to be cute when two people start dating. But once the initial rosy phase is over and you still crave constant validation, tag along with your partner everywhere, and snoop into their phone, it will become annoying as hell. Being clingy is definitely a nuisance in relationships.
5. Annoying laughter
This may sound like a weird pet peeve but we see your point. I mean that snort or loud cackle coming out of your partner in the middle of a church prayer or a quiet cafeteria – embarrassing!
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6. Bad personal hygiene
Such a repulsive habit should strike you from the very beginning. In case you noticed this in your partner after moving in together, it may be challenging to go on like this unless they agree to some changes.
7. Always on their phone
Nobody wants to let the phone ruin their relationship but here we are. Your partner carries their little device literally everywhere from washroom to bedroom to the dining table as if they are protecting some big state secret in there. And you feel like you are living with the walking shadow of a person who hardly ever looks up from the screen or pays attention to a conversation.
8. Always on YOUR phone
It should fall under the categories of bad mannerism and a major relationship pet peeve. How annoying is it when your partner is forever on your phone? We are not referring to something as serious as snooping around due to severe trust issues. They are probably just playing games or ordering food. But why does it always have to be your phone and not their own?
9. Obsessive cleaning
Are you living with a real-life Monica Geller? So, you took a mug from the cupboard and you forgot the exact spot and the angle it was placed in while putting it back. And that’s your strike three after the shoe on the coffee table and the wet towel incident. If someone expects their partner to act according to their level of cleanliness, it can be a troublemaker in the relationship.
10. Arguing in public
Megan, our reader from Greenville, South Carolina, says, “My partner has a tendency of creating scenes in public spaces over the smallest issues. They might be okay with letting people around us know about our personal matters but I don’t endorse these loud conversations.” Not showing the courtesy of discussing a private matter privately is undeniably one of the relationship pet peeves.
11. Not paying for things
Talking about bad habits that ruin a relationship, how can we skip the financial aspect? Suppose, many a time, when a couple goes to dinner, one person leaves to take a phone call just when the check is about to come. If it’s a regular pattern and there are no financial issues this person is going through, it becomes an example of common complaints in a relationship.
12. Stealing your yogurt
Yeah, some people foster funny relationship pet peeves like these. “I open the fridge after a long, hectic day to relish some greek yogurt only to discover that it’s all gone!” – My friend Alan complains at least once a week because he is now frustrated with his partner wiping out his snacks.
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13. Talking about your issues with friends
You may consider this as one of the worst relationship pet peeves since there is nothing more shallow than unlocking the door to your personal life to outsiders. There’s nothing wrong with confiding in a close friend about a relationship problem. But if a person does that all the time, that’s unacceptable. If you want to know “What are guys’ pet peeves?”, this could be it.
14. When their life is centered around your relationship
In this context, a Reddit user says, “Being in a relationship with a girl whose only hobby is the relationship is a sure-shot exasperating behavior.” In case your partner’s personal and social life lives and dies with you and your relationship, it can become quite suffocating after a point and this nature can easily go into the pet peeves bucket for you.
15. Not showing interest in your interests
I picked on this couple issue a few months back when my friend Jen shared her story, “You know, my partner won’t even consider checking out the movies or the songs I suggest and it keeps bugging me. As if my choices are too shallow for them. Isn’t it normal to share your favorites with each other and try to feel connected over a common ground?” Well, Jen, it absolutely is. And it’s one thing to offer constructive criticism but to deliberately avoid or be snooty about your partner’s interests is one of the biggest relationship pet peeves.
16. Leaving the toilet seat up
You know if you know. It’s the root of the same old bickering every day between two live-in partners. How many more reminders do they really need? We are calling it a funny relationship pet peeve although it’s just as annoying as any other. It also adequately answers your question, “What are women’s top pet peeves?”
17. A lot of noisy farting
You asked for weird pet peeves and you got one. I am sure our readers who have lived through this nightmare would agree that it’s a valid complaint. Your partner is practically handing you a reason to feel disgusted.
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18. Once a latecomer, always a latecomer
It’s time to gift your partner a watch since you are done with the tardiness. Olivia, a young social media marketer from New Jersey, says, “For me, the biggest relationship pet peeve has to be my girlfriend’s lack of punctuality. I’d be waiting for 45 minutes at our meeting point and she would arrive after taking all the time to finish a mani-pedi appointment. You can imagine how annoying that is!”
19. Chewing with an open mouth
Some of you might be a bit too particular about dining etiquette. To see your partner eating with their mouth wide open seems extremely gross and disrespectful because to you, it is parallel to a dinner table sin.
20. No sense of personal space
I am sure we don’t need to enlighten you on the importance of personal space in a relationship. You can’t be happy or content in a relationship if you are not allowed to retain your individuality. If your partner doesn’t offer you that space, it becomes one of the relationship pet peeves that could turn ugly.
21. Never putting the lids back on bottles
Let’s talk about another funny relationship pet peeve. At times, it gets extremely maddening to be with someone who would always leave the lids open. As if it’s your duty to finish what they started. What are women’s top pet peeves? They enter the washroom and see all the shampoo and shower gel bottles unlocked. Ask women, they will tell you how frustrating this is.
22. Always answering their ex’s calls
Staying in touch with an ex is fine but not to the point that it looks like you are carrying a piece of your past along with you. It could make your partner feel that you are not one hundred percent into this relationship. As long as you are answering their calls and meeting them frequently, it hints that you are still hung up on your ex. What seems to be a personal business for you can be a point of strong aversion for your partner.
23. Irrational jealousy
A little harmless jealousy seems adorable and sometimes makes us feel important. But if you expect your partner to never look at or talk to the opposite gender, that’s a bit extreme. Don’t you think? Jealousy is exactly where some relationship pet peeves stem from.
24. Difference in apology language
All those times when you decide to set aside your ego and say ‘sorry’, it works wonders in mending your bond. But two partners in a relationship may have different apology languages. For instance, your partner may say, “I am sorry for hurting you” and wash their hands off the matter. But for you, it’s important to see the repentance in their actions and you wish they would make it up to you. This mismatch can certainly be a matter of concern for you.
25. Leaving wet towels on the couch
There are always two types of partners in a relationship – the sloppy one and the nitpicky one. Wet towels thrown carelessly around the house is not exactly a pleasant sight. It’s bound to irritate the neat freak person making way for such funny relationship pet peeves.
26. Not washing up after sex
Your partner may not be upfront about it. But no one likes to cuddle and sleep after sex without cleaning up. Please, go get washed up if you don’t want to give your partner another relationship pet peeve.
27. Late responses or no response to texts
While discussing the common complaints in a relationship, a Reddit user chimes, “Not hearing from him for hours when he isn’t home and I don’t know what’s up. Or when he’s out with friends and refuses to check his phone/reply to me even when I’m upset because it’s ‘rude’. Ugh! Ignoring me just creates more problems.” Does that narrative sound relatable?
28. Being indecisive
It’s one of those disturbing behaviors which often makes you realize that you are in love but the relationship is not working anymore. Tell me if you resonate with the given scenarios. You are out on a date and your partner can’t settle on a restaurant, can’t decide what they want to order, and it further puts you in two minds too.
From picking out their clothes for a meeting to figuring out what colors you want to paint your apartment walls, you have to take care of everything. Because they are nothing but a big ball of confusion sitting by your side. There lies a big pet peeve for many of us when we have an indecisive partner at our hand. Adorable at first, but annoying eventually.
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29. Calling repeatedly when you are not answering
This one’s disturbing. It’s a basic courtesy to stop calling when a person doesn’t receive or see the first call. Give them 15 minutes and try again unless, of course, it’s urgent. And then there is your partner who would call 10 times in a row when you are in a meeting. Seriously, take a hint!
30. Using “literally” in every sentence
Do you remember the fight between Ted and Robin from How I Met Your Mother because Robin said too many ‘literallys’ in figurative contexts? It’s fun to watch on TV, not so much in real life. Call it a weird thing to be mad about if you want but to say, “My stomach will literally burst if I have one more bite” is a semantic nuisance, especially if this is your fourth ‘literally’ in five minutes.
31. Walking out in the middle of a fight
What are guys’ pet peeves? What are the things that irritate women in a relationship? It’s this, and it’s common for everyone. There is a reason to mark it as one of the biggest relationship pet peeves because leaving abruptly during an argument is plain insulting to the other person. This is not how you fight in a healthy way. When people do this, they are running away from reality. It shows that your partner doesn’t wish to face the problems or rationally come to a solution.
32. The game of blocking-unblocking
Something is seriously wrong with the people who still resort to blocking their partners on social media after every fight. I mean, you aren’t in high school anymore! Don’t you think you should have the minimum decency to have a conversation like mature adults and sort things out instead of hiding from the issue? Even if it’s not very evident now, this relentless blocking and unblocking can weaken the foundation of a relationship and drift two partners apart over time.
33. Day drinking and too much partying
So, you fell for this person for their ‘life and soul of the party’ kind of personality. And now you see that this is practically their entire life. Wednesday is not the new Saturday for heaven’s sake! You shouldn’t go binge drinking midweek turning a blind eye to all your relationship responsibilities. It’s pretty clear why for some people this can be a sore point.
34. Being a sucker for validations
The excessive need for validation certainly makes for one of the relationship pet peeves. If you have to assure your partner ten times a day that your feelings for them are not gone, that means they are living with some genuine insecurities. It can be a turn-off to constantly feed their self-doubt.
35. No sense of gratitude
You give and you give and you give. And what do you receive in return? An ungrateful response like “Did I ask you to do all that for me?” How much does it take for a person to thank their partner for the breakfast they made or an amazing birthday surprise? It’s a small gesture but it’s super powerful. Knowing your partner appreciates you only helps in strengthening your bond. And a lack of it is equally damaging to the relationship.
- Pet peeves are certain things or behavior in others that you cannot stand
- Having relationship pet peeves is quite natural when your partner exhibits those annoying traits
- Even insignificant issues can turn into huge fights unless addressed in advance
- It’s always better to have a discussion with your partner if you think you can’t live with some of the pet peeves that bother you too much
There you have it – a complete low-down on the most common relationship pet peeves. Now that you know the exact pet peeves meaning and where some possible triggers lie, hopefully, you can find a way to come to a mutual solution with your partner. The ultimate goal is not to let these minor inconveniences come in your way of having a healthy relationship.
First of all, you need to assess whether the pet peeve is a deal breaker for you. It’s better to tally the good and the bad in your relationship and see which side weighs more. Assuming that the positives win, you need to talk about these negative issues with your partner and try to find a feasible solution. Or learn to accept or ignore these irritants.
Yes, more or less every couple deals with relationship pet peeves. Some manage to handle this rationally by solving the problem, some tend to fight over the annoying habits of their partner, and worst of all, some people break up over serious pet peeves.