Keeping romance alive is an everyday job
Being in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean you get to wake up with a box of chocolate for breakfast and walk on the rainbows with your partner. Keeping romance alive is hard work, when you have got used to each other’s company and found your comfort zone in the relationship. But it’s not hard enough to push your boundaries to make your partner feel special every day. All it takes is for both of you to fix these 7 little daily habits that are potential romance killers in every long-term relationship.
1. Being hooked on your phone when together
Sure it’s tempting for you to unwind after a long day and scroll through your social media accounts or stay glued to mobile games, but if your partner is by your side waiting for you to be available to them and you are busy in your own virtual world instead, it shows disrespect. If you two are out at the restaurant or just lazing on the couch and you are hooked on your phone it sends a message to your partner that you are avoiding them. This behaviour, when repeated every day, kills the connection and romance between you two.
Related reading: Why intimacy is as important as the act itself
2. Talking about work all the time
We understand that one of the amazing things about being in a long-term relationship is that you can share the things that concern you – your work, for example. But if you tend to bring your work worries at home and constantly talk about how horrible your manager is with you or how your colleagues are going behind your back it will add stress to your relationship. And romance doesn’t thrive on stress, right? So instead of discussing work issues with your partner all the time, keep your focus on the present moment that you share together. It’s important to treat your career and relationship with equal attention.
Related reading: She’s no longer ‘happily married’ but free
3. Keeping score
So he flirted with that hot girl for 5 minutes at that party a year back or she forgot to wish your mom on her last birthday, and now you wouldn’t miss a chance to give it back to them. Being in a relationship is not a wrestling match. Stop keeping score! Remembering every little detail of the times when your partner couldn’t be unflawed is of no help. It’s important to pick your battles wisely.
4. Bickering over small things
On the same note, stop complaining about every little thing that your partner didn’t do your way. For example, you don’t like wet towels on the bed but your partner tends to forget about it after throwing it there or you’d like your partner to do the dishes before going to bed but he forgets to do it on most nights. As a result you pick up a fight with them. Now, we are not saying fighting and arguing with your partner is unhealthy. In fact, it’s the opposite. But picking at your partner’s pet peeves sends a message to them that you don’t like them the way they are and this leads to further tension in the relationship.
5. Setting unrealistic expectations
In this age of social media frenzy we tend to be swayed with unrealistic expectations of how couple relationships should be. If your BFF’s partner has surprised her with a hot balloon ride on Valentine’s Day or the couple next door is going on their second honeymoon, it makes no sense to compare your relationship with theirs and get fussy about not having as much excitement in your companionship. It makes your partner feel that they are failing to make you happy.
6. Not spending any time apart
It’s important to have your personal social circle outside of your relationship. It’s great to spend quality time with your partner, but when you spend too much time together you tend to bring unnecessary strain in the relationship because now you need their attention all the time. While your expectation is human, it’s also human on your partner’s part to not be able to give you 100% attention constantly. This is why it’s important to have friends and interests outside of your relationship. Little breathing space in the relationship helps romance to stay alive.
7. Expecting too much, giving too little
It’s normal to have expectations from the relationship, but focusing too much on what you want your partner to do for you and little on what you should do for them to make them feel valued and special kills the romance in a big way. If you expect your partner to be available for Skype call every evening when you are travelling for work, yet you forget to bring something special for them when coming back, it makes the other person feel undervalued.
It’s okay if the initial days of fun and mystery are over. It doesn’t mean the romance has to go away too. Paying attention to these little habits can ensure a happy and a healthy relationship.