Hello, do you still love me, mister?
First of all, let me tell you, if you have to tell your man that you need love a
nd attention in the relationship, then maybe it’s about time to reconsider staying in the relationship. There comes a time in most relationships where there is no future. The romance has dried up and so has the sex life. The best thing to do is to leave before you lose your dignity.
But if you want your man’s attention and you are not ready to give up, you need to be strong. Being a doormat doesn’t earn you respect or love. You have to show your man that you are worth the effort and that you are not going to settle for anything less. Here’s what you need to do.
Related reading: The five stages of intimacy – Find out where you are!
Tell him what you want
At first, try talking to him. Tell him that you feel neglected and it is affecting you emotionally. Tell him how things have changed between you guys. The attention and love he showered on you at the beginning of your relationship is not there any more. You feel as if he’s taking you for granted and doesn’t even bother to look at you any more.
Most probably he won’t understand or acknowledge: Men seldom do, but you need to give him th
at chance. Men never know when there is something is wrong with the relationship. So just try telling him that once.
He might not notice your pain or sadness, but he’s sure to notice when you are looking sexy. So dress up: it also helps you emotionally by making you feel good about yourself. Dress up but with a slight twist. Don’t dress up for him. Get dressed for a girls’ night out, for visiting parents, for an office party but not for him. He will start noticing the discrepancy and start thinking you are having an affair. If that doesn’t make him insecure, nothing will.
Don’t fake it in bed
Contrary to what men believe, women don’t reach orgasm due to friction. If we don’t get love and attention in the bedchamber, then we don’t even get aroused. But we
continue to fake it in bed, because we all know how fragile the male ego is. Don’t do it. Don’t make him feel everything is all right when it isn’t. If you don’t have an orgasm and the sex is boring for you, then make him feel that too. You can even go ahead and light a cigarette in the middle of the act if it is that boring. Once his ego is affected he will surely be ready for conversation.
Related reading: Why do women fake orgasms?
Make date nights compulsory
When he starts looking for a solution, then you tell him this. Make date night compulsory: pump some romance into it. Be it fine dining or a cinema, you both need to give each other full time and attention. Dressing up, turning the phones off, and really talking about each other: the whole shebang! If he tries to work his way out of these, then you must tell him that you are thinking of walking out on him. It will definitely get him to toe the line.
Don’t wait for him
Stop keeping your l
ife on hold for him. Don’t wait for him to have fun or relax. If he’s not paying you much attention anyway, he won’t dedicate time for your pleasures either. Make him wait for you while you take care of and pamper yourself.
Make him wait for you while you take care of and pamper yourself.
Visit the spa, take a short trip for the weekend, go out with friends, and concentrate on your job: things that have taken a back seat in your life as you were extremely preoccupied with him. Your frequent absence will surely be noted.
Don’t be eager to return his texts
He’s not there when you need him, but once that phone chimes with his message tone you can’t wait to reply: why? Why do you feel such an obligation? How much worse can it get if you don’t answer that? He has taken you for granted and he only texts you when he needs something. So make him wait.
Don’t accept his apology
Don’t fall for a half-hearted apology. It is very easy to say sorry and not mean anything by it. Ask him why he’s saying sorry: only then you’ll understand that he doesn’t mean anything by it.
Spend time away from him
Sometimes nearness causes monotony. Spend some time away from him, visit your parents, stay with them for a few days. If he’s into you, he will miss you and will want you back ASAP.
Related reading: How I lost my identity while I was busy building my husband’s life
Flirt with other guys
Flirt with other guys, especially with his friends and colleagues. If he notices and talks to you about it, then he is still into the relationship and is bothered about losing you.
Ask him to see a couples’ counsellor
If nothing works, then ask him to see a couples’ counsellor. If he’s still interested in the relationship he will agree to do it.