I always wondered why there were so many jokes on wives being nagging, pushy, ungrateful and resentful creatures. After reading myriad articles, I realised that the most common issue faced by husbands was ‘lack of appreciation’ by their wives; hence all those jokes were subtle hints to this grave situation. It never occurred to me that just as I need appreciation almost on a daily basis, my husband would want the same too. That is us, humans right? And that is when I decided to figure ways to apprciate my husband.
Why is it necessary to appreciate your spouse?
Every human being craves appreciation irrespective of age or gender. As Sue Fitzmaurice says, Being told you are appreciated is one of the simplest and most uplifting things you can hear. I know it’s easier said than done. Our mundane routines at times make us bitter. That’s when the need to appreciate each other becomes all the more crucial.
Treat your spouse, as a little kid who needs constant appreciation to feel happy, confident and loved. In a world full of critics, your spouse has the power to make you feel special. So give and receive appreciation whenever and wherever possible.
10 Ways to show appreciation to your husband
Here are 10 ways to shower appreciation for your husband.
- Appreciation words for the husband: Try to include kind and gentle words in your everyday communication, just as you would speak to a luminary or your parents. One simple ‘Thank You’ can do wonders for your husband’s dull day. Similarly the word ‘Please’ may make him do the impossible. Encouraging words like You can do it, I can count on you, You are my superhero, go a long way. Simple phrases like I love you, What will I do without you or I miss you, show a lot of gratitude
- Accepting your spouse for who they are: We accept our kids for what they are and stand by them even when they make mistakes. Then why can’t we show the same level of acceptance towards our spouse? After all you fell in love with your spouse, knowing more or less who they really are
- Accepting each other’s differences: You may have a difference of opinion, but you can rationalise that opinion and try to appreciate the positive thought behind it. Remember, every coin has two sides. Try to see the other perspective too
- Use husband appreciative messages: If you are not very vocal about your emotions, write them down. Make small cute post-its, appreciating a job well done or encouraging him to complete a task, and sneak it into his bag or post it on his laptop. Short messages about how thankful you are can be written on the bathroom mirror as well. An occasional posting of a cute appreciative quote on his Facebook timeline will surely brighten up his day
- Try husband appreciative gifts: Cook or order his favourite meal to thank him for something he did for you or the family. Personalise and order his favourite merchandise. Compliment him when he is all dressed for a function. A warm hug, a peck on the cheek, a tap on the shoulder, a kiss on the forehead or just plain holding hands can make your husband feel that he is being appreciated. Of course, an intimate session in the bedroom would top the charts though
- Make yourself available: Let your husband know that he can count on you any time. Even when you can’t be physically present, try to be in touch through other communication means. This will definitely show him that you appreciate his work and his struggles too
- Respect his decisions: Even if you don’t agree with some of your husband’s decisions, especially regarding his work, don’t just outright denigrate it. Continuous criticism or complaining about life will make him feel that he is not capable of keeping you happy. Instead try to maintain a cheerful atmosphere at home even at difficult times
- Don’t try to be a superwoman: Even if you are totally capable of handling every situation that life throws at you, you don’t have to. Asking your husband for help will make him feel essential, thus making him do certain things even beyond his calibre at times. You win both ways, he feels appreciated and you get your work done
- List all his contributions: Whenever possible, acknowledge all his contributions in your life, irrespective of how big or small they were. Appreciate his role in your professional life, parenting process and any other family occasion, from time to time. This will encourage him to get more involved in family matters
- Avoid being fake: In the quest of being overtly appreciative, please don’t go overboard and shower praises that you actually don’t mean. Be very specific in your praises. Say You have an awesome taste in buying gifts for kids, rather than just saying You are awesome
Give it a try and see your life transform.Published in