Manipulation is a form of emotional abuse and in a marriage, it is a major red flag. Partners who are manipulative sometimes have selfish motives or at times, it is so ingrained in their day-to-day behaviour that they don’t even realize that they constantly manipulate their significant other. The underlying causes for such behaviour are generally rooted in childhood or teenage years where the person must have seen and imitated or experienced such kind of behaviour. A manipulative person generally controls others by way of shouting, crying, blackmailing or being firm, so that the other person gives in to their demands. So you can expect your manipulative wife to be doing this all the time.
8 Signs Of A Manipulative Wife
If you have ended up with a manipulative woman, chances are you wouldn’t even realise it. The signs of manipulation are so subtle and so disguised as love and care that it can be hard to distinguish first – and the moment of truth happens when you suddenly realise you have been doing things that you’d normally not do – all because you get manipulated in doing those things by your spouse.
A marriage must be an institution built upon mutual feelings of love, care, trust, and respect. Certain women manipulate their husbands in order to have things their way. Having a manipulative wife is a deal breaker in marriage. It constitutes emotional abuse and so many people do not realise it upfront. They might not be very obvious about it but here are 8 signs that can tell you if your wife is manipulative.
1. She has a didactic personality
A didactic person is the one who thinks that everyone should be taught what they think is right and that they are doing things for everyone’s good. They feel that they are hyper intellectual and the responsibility to mould other people is on their shoulders. Not just this, they keep on criticising you for everything just to prove their superiority and gain control over you. If your wife is the kind of person who thinks she is intellectually superior to you and often behaves patronizingly, she might be manipulative. If she keeps on telling you how wrong you are about a certain thing, then you need to think through your marriage.
Related Reading: 13 signs you are the selfish one in your relationship
2. She turns every argument into your fault
One of the signs of a manipulative spouse is that they turn everything into your fault and start being the innocent one. That time when she was emotionally unavailable, it was because you were busy for the past two days. If you complain about something which then leads to a huge argument, she will turn the tables on you by pointing out various other occasions when you behaved in the same manner that she is behaving. She has the power to blame you for every wrong thing that has ever happened in your marriage – from a small argument to a major disappointment. She will never admit her mistake.
3. She uses emotional blackmail as a weapon
Emotionally blackmailing a person may seem very subtle and harmless at times, but in reality, it is not. It is a form of emotional abuse where you make the other person feel guilty about not doing what you want them to do. Everything for her is difficult because she loves you a lot and she will die if you leave her alone.
Manipulative women have a tendency to use emotional blackmail as a weapon to manipulate their partner.
They keep on saying that they are incomplete without you or they can’t live without you and so you should be dependent on them just like they are dependent on you. If your wife resorts to emotional blackmail every time she wants something done, take that as a red flag in your marriage.
4. She uses your weaknesses against you
This may seem very cruel and you might not have realized that this was happening to you but manipulative women are extremely selfish. They take advantage of your weaknesses to get their work done. She, being your wife, would know a lot of things about you and during a fight, she would intentionally bring up certain things that she knows hurt you, in order to make you fall in her trap. She would pinpoint to your failures to make you feel unworthy of her and thence, do whatever she wants you to do.
Related Reading: 15 signs your spouse takes you for granted
5. She is the decision-maker
If in your marriage, you are the one who keeps on nodding and agreeing to all the small and big decisions made by her, you know that you have a manipulative wife. She makes all the financial plans, holiday plans and even outing plans. She decides everything for both of you without even asking for your opinion. She assumes that you agree to whatever she decides because in every matter, she knows better than you. For a boy’s night out, you have to take her permission well in advance, while for a girl’s night out, it’s quite the opposite; she is the boss of her own life.
In a healthy relationship, a couple decides on things after discussing it with one another. A single person making all the decisions for two people is a sign of manipulation and a definite red flag in a marriage.
6. She victimises herself every time
This is a very obvious sign because you can easily spot this happening. She does whatever she wants to and yet, in front of the world, she behaves as if she breathes after you allow her. She suddenly becomes the victim of everything. She starts acting scared of your reaction and makes you the controlling villain of her life. Manipulative women are habituated to playing the victim. They keep on behaving as if they have done a lot for you without expecting anything in return and you have been plain ungrateful to them. They make you count every single time when they sacrificed something for you or compromised for the relationship and how unhappy they have been since then.
Moreover, they also use emotional outbursts to support their act. She may start crying at every opportunity she gets and makes sure that you and everyone else realizes how sad she has been this whole time.
7. She keeps on blaming you for everything
Every time she is in a tough spot in her life, she makes it your fault. It is because she married you, she had to change her area of residence which is quite far from her office. She throws you under the bus every time she takes a wrong decision. Manipulative people are extremely pretentious. She will pretend as if her decisions were taken according to your convenience and now that she is facing difficulty, you are responsible for it. She will keep on blaming you for things you did not do until you give up and apologise.
Related Reading: 5 Ways Blame-Shifting In Relationship Harms It
8. She’ll never apologise
Even if you finally prove it to her that it is her fault, she will never say the word, ‘Sorry’. It is just too much for her ego. She is never apologetic. Instead, she would justify her actions or go silent as a way of telling you that she is hurt. People who are manipulative want things their way and proving them wrong about something just fires up their emotions. Such people find it very hard to admit their mistakes or apologise for them.
To have a manipulative spouse can take a toll on your life. It can be very difficult to deal with one especially when they are not ready to accept that they are manipulative. If you think your wife is guileful, you should talk to her calmly and point out such aspects of her personality. You can also see a marriage counsellor and discuss these problems. It might seem a very small thing in a marriage but manipulation can be very hurtful in a long-term relationship and must be addressed.