When it comes to being in a serious relationship, there can be quite a spectrum. On one end there’s the homeliness of a live-in relationship and on the other end, is having to play hardball when starting a long-distance relationship. What is common is that love knows no bounds. And perhaps if your love really is true, you can take this to the literal level.
If you are confident and crazy in love, no bounds or literal boundaries should be able to hamper that too easily. When physical distance is in the destiny of your relationship, your commitment skills have to go up a few notches higher to make it work. Starting a long distance relationship may take more effort out of you, but it can be completely worth it.
18 Things To Know Before Starting A Long-Distance Relationship
Newly dating long distance can appear very daunting. It can even take some time to get used to. You may spend the first few days in doubt wondering how sustainable this might be for you. You might even grapple with concerns around cheating. But once those test days are over, a long-distance routine can eventually keep you happy.
Cracking the formula of long-distance relationship is perhaps the only difficult step. Once you get around to doing it, it can teach you many things along the way. Once the rhythm is in place and your love continues to blossom, there will be no stopping you.
But to take your time and do it in the right mindset is foremost. Here are 18 things to know before starting a long-distance relationship.
1. You will have to put your best foot forward
It is important to accept that a long-distance relationship will take far more work than a regular relationship. You cannot go about putting the same effort of a normal relationship and expect the long distance one to work out the same way.
Long distance brings forth its own problems and relationship arguments that will require you to take some extra steps. The moment you let things slide or sit idle, it leaves room for doubt and questions. D
Dr. Neelu Khanna, a life coach, suggests that even when you cannot make the time to constantly talk, you can leave photos or voice notes for your partner to come back to.
Related Reading: How To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work?
2. Space can save you
We often think that the abundance of actual physical space needs to be made up by completely smothering another person. That is just not true. Even though you are battling the existence of too much space on a daily basis, choking mental space is not going to solve that. You must contemplate, how much space in a relationship is normal?
Dr. Khanna suggests that space is more important in long-distance relationships more than regular relationships. She adds, ‘You really do not always know what the other person is going through. You must understand the person’s constraints.’
3. You can still enjoy sexy times
The sex does not have to take a complete backseat when you are dating somebody long distance. Especially when you are starting a long-distance relationship with someone you just met, you may really want to test new ways of fun with them and be ready for sex talk.
Sexual desire is important to keep two people together. Talking dirty, sexting and phone sex are some things you may want to try. Spicing up your sex life is going to take a little exploration, but something great can definitely come out of it.
4. Your faith must be strong when you are starting a long-distance relationship
Starting a long-distance relationship cannot be built on a foundation of ambiguous feelings or a spur of the moment decision. Once you go into it, you must stay headstrong at all times. What keeps such a thing going is belief in yourself, your partner and the love that you two share. It is one of the most important components of trust in a relationship.
Without faith, doing long-distance can quickly become a rocky road. Or else you will always be wondering about long distance relationships, yes or no? Even on days when things aren’t looking so good, if your belief is strong, you can find the strength to keep working at it.
5. Running on two schedules
Being in a long-distance relationship is keeping up with your own schedule and keeping in tune with your partner’s. You may have to be aware of when the other person is busy or occupied.
To make your conversations productive and interesting, it is best to strike the iron while it’s hot rather than walking into an unwarranted situation and to avoid any relationship problems.
Knowing their wake-up time to the big events in their day, you may have to constantly evaluate two different schedules so you can always gauge when they can match up.
6. Keep jealousy away when starting a long-distance relationship
It is very easy to get jealous easily in long-distance relationships. If he misses one phone call or if she uploads a picture with a new guy in the gang your alarm bells start buzzing. Being a little worried is all fine. But once the jealousy kicks in, things can start to get toxic very easily.
Moreover, unless there is actual cause for concern, do not start sulking because you are feeling jealous and untrusting. Jealousy can bring out some terrible sides in all of us. Thus, it is best to steer away from it completely.
7. Communication is everything
And pretty much all you have. Think about it this way – your relationship relies solely on verbal communication which is why you must make it the strongest. You must constantly try to improve communication in your relationship.
When you don’t have the benefit of a soft caress or a doting touch, your words can play a pivotal role when starting a long-distance relationship.
You will have to say things wholeheartedly and make sure you mean what you say. Your words are going to stick around because words are all that you have.
Related Reading: Communication Is The Key To Relationships!
8. You may have to set some ground rules
It is important for you and your partner to be on the same page about things. Depending on how flexible your relationship is, it is important to discuss your expectations. Are they ready for a commitment? Especially when starting a long-distance relationship online, you must be clear on what your boundaries are.
Are you an exclusive couple or not? Can you go out with other people? What are your expectations and demands from each other? These are some questions that must be tackled in the very beginning.
9. Insecurity will hit you sometimes
Bouts of insecurity come and go even in regular relationships. So don’t be shocked if it visits you every now and then. It is only normal and in a decent amount, it can even be considered healthy.
Being an insecure woman or man signals the downfall of a relationship but is also a reassurance of how much you love your partner. Dr. Neelu Khanna says, ‘Respect the other person’s challenges to sort out issues of insecurity. Practice better time management so that you are there when they need to talk.’
10. You will have to be situationally aware
Being in a long-distance relationship calls for being a lot more careful about your actions. You may have to be mindful about how your actions may affect your partner when they are already feeling distant from you. If hanging out with someone your partner does not like or drinking with a group of friends and forgetting to tell them your plans can really torment them, then don’t do it.
It is not always that your partner is suspicious or doubtful. They may trust you but try not to give them reasons to worry too much. Your partner may feel powerless in such a situation and you do not want them to lose morale and have low self esteem.
11. Get in a routine of communicating
This usually works for most couples but is no set way of doing a long-distance relationship. It is easy for most people to have a routine of phone calls, texts, updates or late night Netflix parties.
From good morning texts to sending pictures of your breakfast bagels, a routine can be helpful because it feels like one is constantly involved.
12. Being online will be your new best friend
You will now have to get extremely comfortable with the idea of constant online flirting or being your phone much more than before. Being on call, Facetiming, Snapchatting different parts of your day are all going to consume your life now!
If you did not enjoy texting so much before, you should try to develop a taste for it now. Starting a long-distance relationship can be super fun if done the right way. There are too many creative ways online to keep in touch these days.
13. You will have to do things with your phone
Going for a walk may now mean holding your phone up and Facetiming your girlfriend. Even when you are making dinner, you may often have your phone up and running constantly so your partner can help you with the dish you are making – with tricks and tips.
Shopping can also be really fun that way where you can show your partner things on video call and they can help you pick and choose. This is all a part of doing things together.
Related Reading: Online dating: 8 must-follow relationship tips to make it work
14. Get ready to travel more
Visits and vacations are the prime of long-distance relationships. When you are starting a long distance relationship with a friend, you may already start searching flights for when either of you can visit the other person. This is one of the tested love hacks to make your long distance relationship work.
This is one thing that will keep you two very close together and keep you excited for more. Planning visits to each other’s homes or meeting at a vacation spot is something you might have to start planning often. Stay in tune with each other’s schedules so you can find the perfect opening.
15. Try not to have too many expectations
This applies to regular relationships too! Curiosity kills the cat and expectations kill the fun. When you are constantly expecting, you are always setting yourself up for moments that might transpire into disappointment.
Dr. Khanna reaffirms by saying, ‘Expectations always add to problems and can even lead to breakups.’ One must set realistic expectations in a relationship.
Have your standards and needs in place. Communicate them well and don’t let yourself be dragged along in this relationship. Just remember that expecting too much love can actually fizzle out the love that already exists.
16. It will teach you the meaning of trust
One of the biggest long-distance relationship problems can be developing unflinching trust. But once that trust is in place, things become fundamentally easier. One of the key takeaways of dating at a distance is that the learning experiences are abundant and it really teaches you how to build trust in relationships.
If you normally have a tough time letting your guard down or opening up, starting a long-distance relationship will change that for you. You will now start taking trust more seriously and delve into it wholeheartedly.
Related Reading: Trust Issues – 10 Signs You Find It Difficult To Trust Anyone
17. You will still have your own time
Yes, here is some great news. It is not all work and zero me time. Without giving a good deal of time to discover yourself, no relationship can work at all. The same goes for long-distance romances. Know that you do not really ever have to deal with a clingy boyfriend.
No relationship should be such a way that it consumes every single part of your life. The moment it starts invading everything that you are, you may not enjoy it as much anymore. Keep communication clear and honest so that you can take pauses and your personal time.
18. Trust yourself most when you start a long-distance relationship
This is the most important thing to do before starting a long-distance relationship. You cannot jump into such a commitment when you are unsure of yourself or what you are doing. Once you have put faith in the relationship, you must also put faith in yourself.
Trust yourself that you are making the right decision for your life and that you are doing your best. When your own strength is unwavering, no mountain is too tall.
You can start a long distance relationship by video calling often, sharing your everyday activities with your partner and practicing exclusivity.
They can if you have an open mind and are willing to put in the extra work. It takes a lot of commitment, strength and love to make a long distance relationship work in the long run.
They certainly can. As long as you two eventually have the same end goal in mind. You must have the same final decision about where you see your life going so that it may align at some point.
Practicing understanding, giving space, doing away with jealousy are some ways to make a relationship last. Long distance relationships are not easy why is why you will have to be extra careful with your feelings and actions when you are in one.
It certainly can be if you love and believe in the person you are dating.