I had a recent breakup. I don’t know who is to blame for it. In fact, this was my second relationship. I met him at the workplace when I was just out of my previous relationship. We exchanged numbers due to professional need. Then he started messaging me on WhatsApp. Initially, I tried to maintain a distance as I didn’t want another relationship so soon. But things took a different turn which I couldn’t handle.
I Fell For Him But He Got Married To Someone Else
We became friends. When he proposed to me, I had to reject it as I was not emotionally ready for a relationship.
We are also from different states and castes. His parents were looking for an arranged marriage match for him. I wanted to stop chatting. But he begged me not to stop. His engagement got fixed. Still, we were talking. By that time I had developed feelings for him. He also knew it. He said he loved me. But he couldn’t do anything since his marriage was fixed now.
I went into depression
That’s how my story ended. He got married. I went into depression. I saw a psychiatrist. He prescribed me medicines. I took it for one week. Later I stopped the meds as I was feeling uneasy. My parents stood by me. I was having panic attacks and was afraid to sleep alone. It has been a month. Even now I am not able to move on. I have exams coming up. I am unable to concentrate also as I used to before. I feel like I have changed. I have become a new person. Please help.
Dear Lady,
What happened to you was a rebound. When your first relationship failed the second one became an anchor for you.
The man knew what he wanted
Let us look at the man in the second affair. He knew he won’t be serious with you. He got engaged and still continued chatting with you because he had kept his emotional boundaries intact. He was very clear what he wanted and what he could give. You were in a vulnerable stage of life so you became gullible and fell into your own emotional trap. Mind you, he had nothing emotionally to do with you. He was clear from the beginning that he was having fun with you till he got married. Even after marriage, he will continue playing with other women, but make sure you are not available as his toy.
Make yourself emotionally strong
You now have to make yourself emotionally strong. Learn from the two mistakes you committed. Understand where you went wrong in protecting your emotions and falling prey. It is easy to blame the other person, but you have been vulnerable enough to let the other person play with your emotions. Before you go into any other relationship make sure that you can trust that person enough.
Do not rush into another relationship
Also, concentrate on your exams and career. This will make you more stable and mature. Do not rush into another relationship until you feel that you can trust yourself to make a good decision.
Good luck
Regards
Jaseena Backer
