When Should A Man Text After The First Date?

Dating experience | |
Updated On: October 11, 2023
when to text after first date

Congratulations, you’ve managed to calm your first date nerves and your date probably went okay, despite what your anxious mind might be telling you. All seems good in the world and there may even be a spring in your step. Until, of course, you realize that you need to figure out when to text after the first date.

The most exciting phase is always the first date. And dear men, your first date can either set you on a romantic path or create a dark mark in your dating history. Trying to make the right dating calls at the right time can feel like a daunting task, especially if you’re making all the decisions yourself.

When you have consulted just about every female friend you have to help you pick your first date outfit, why must you tackle the question of when to text after the first date alone? We’re here to help you out with everything you need to know about the follow-up text after the date.

How Soon Do You Follow Up After A Date?

All the dating rulebooks have led you to believe that there is perfect timing for text messaging and following up. Well, chuck those books out of your window. The best time to do a follow-up after your first date is simply when you feel like it. Of course, you shouldn’t immediately text her the minute she steps out of your car.

Even so, you need to trust your instincts because you know how your date went and what the probable chances of the next one are. Plus, don’t forget, “how soon to text after the first date” can become a futile question if she ends up being the one who texts you first. Even if she doesn’t, try not to overthink this and go with your gut.

But what do men usually do? They might end up texting way too late in an attempt to look “cool” and give the long and short of how the date went to friends. And worry about everything. Instead of all this, just reflect on how the date went. How did you feel? How did the other person feel? Was she nodding? Did she seem interested? You get the picture.

Let your feelings guide you in when to text your date, without any external influence whatsoever. Not only are you trusting your own instincts, but by taking your own time, you are being honest to your date as well as yourself. When you get too worked up about how long to wait to text after the first date, give your overthinking mind some food for thought and try to think about how the date actually went.

Once you realize it probably went better than you think it did, go with your gut and text her whenever you want. Even if it went disastrously bad, you can always drop a text after a while and see where it goes from there.

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How Long Should I Wait To Text After My First Date?

If the “How long should I wait to text her after my first date?” question is gnawing at your mind, try to not let it consume your day. When push comes to shove, there isn’t a time chart you can refer to in this situation. The amount of time you should wait depends upon how great your date went.

If you really connected with her and really want her to know that, then you should do it as soon as possible. Even the founder of The Professional Wingman, Thomas Edwards, says the key is to let her know you’re interested. It’s that simple.

But if your date wasn’t that great, then try not to completely ignore her. Send an appreciative text, something along the lines of “Thanks for going out with me, I appreciate you coming. What’s up?”

Now, the lists of rules do not end here. We know the text after the first date drove you to this article, and your curiosity won’t be put to rest by something like, “Just relax and follow your heart.” How about we list a few dating tips to keep in mind while texting after your first date?

What to text a woman after the first date
Figuring out what to text a woman after the first date isn’t rocket science

What To Text A Woman After The First Date?

So, the “after first date” text has sent you into a state of utmost confusion. First and foremost, you need to realize that you might be giving it more importance than you should. How this person responds to the first text after the first date is largely going to depend upon how the date went.

Even so, to help you out, we’ve listed out the text after first date examples that will help you pick what you can text after your first date.

1. Keep it chivalrous

Try playing the gentleman and ask her if she made it home safely. And if you dropped her at her place, then get back home, get settled, and wish her a cute good night. This will not only open the door for a conversation between you two, but chances are you might end up sending flirtatious text messages all night. If you’re looking for text after first date examples, here you go:

  • Hey, I hope you reached home alright
  • I’m home, just thought I’d let you know I had a lot of fun. Goodnight, hope you get some rest
  • Hope you had a good time and got home safely. I’d love to do this again

2. Tell her you had a good time

Want to tell her you liked her? Try telling her in the simplest of words possible. Both of you are nervous and wish to know what happened. So wouldn’t it be just great if you told her?

  • Had such a great time today, I hope you did too. I’d love to meet you again
  • I had a blast! It was so nice getting to spend some time with you
  • I was all smiles the entire time, it was so much fun. I don’t think I’ve ever had a first date better than this one

3. Remind her of a fun moment

If there was a fun moment you both shared, then that could be your key to initiating a good conversation. If either of you made a funny remark or saw something funny, try texting your date about that. The after first date text can be something as simple as:

  • When the waiter almost drowned me in the chicken soup, I almost freaked out there for a second
  • I’m still laughing at that joke you made, I can’t believe how well we clicked
  • I’m not forgetting that joke you made about XYZ anytime soon

Related Reading: 15 Things Girls Always Notice On a Date

4. Tell her you’re looking forward to seeing her again

If you had a good time, try texting her for a second date. Avoid sounding very specific or pushy, try making vague plans for the next date. While the follow-up text after the date can be used to set up future meetings, don’t expect it to result in a concrete second date plan right away. The idea is to just let her know you’d like to see her sometime again, without pushing another date.

  • I had a great time and I’d love to do this again. Maybe sushi next time?
  • The coffee today was so good! Although I’ve heard of this great new place that opened up. Maybe we can go there next time?
  • I had so much fun meeting you, I hope we can do this again sometime soon

5. Be honest and tactful

No one likes being rejected. So if things didn’t work out, try not to beat around the bush or be brutally straightforward. Make sure you are being appreciative and polite. It is always good to end your first date on a good note, and even if things didn’t go well, you can always send a nice text to end things.

  • Hey, thank you for meeting me. But I’m sorry that things are not going to work out for me. All the best for your future
  • I’m glad we met! Although, I’m really not sure if I can continue to take this dynamic in the direction it’s currently going. I apologize, but I’m not sure if I can commit to this
  • It was great meeting you, but I think I need some time to myself before I can take this or anything else forward

4 Dating Tips To Keep In Mind While Texting After The First Date

Now that you have a fair idea of when to text after the first date and what you should text, you’re probably a lot less anxious than you were when you started reading this article. With that being said, there are still a few things you probably should keep in mind.

1. Break the ice

Now, both of you had a good time on your first date and according to old dating tradition, she is expecting you to text first. But you are all into breaking stereotypes and are thinking – “Oh, she too had a good time. Let her text first”. Try avoiding that thought.

Be the gentleman you are and try breaking the ice by texting and letting her know that you had a good time. It will ease the tension, get her to like you over texts, and bring a certain comfort level to your future texting.

2. Don’t wait too long

The old dating myth that “men usually take time to text after the first date” shouldn’t dictate your decision-making. While it’s okay to text her half a day or even a day after the date, make sure you don’t leave her waiting for way too long. That’s only going to make her grow frustrated.

Related Reading: Thoughts You Have On Your First Date After The Pandemic

3. Avoid random texting if you’re not planning for a second date

What annoys women every time is the fact that usually, men have a good time on their first date, they follow up on text messages, and then the conversations go all monotonous. It’s as if they never had a plan for a second date or if they dwelled on it for too long. So, if you don’t wish to go with her on a second date, try not to waste each other’s time.

4. Be honest

Avoid texting after your first date just for the sake of texting or fooling around, until you have found someone else. Also, if you like her, avoid pretending to be someone else, only to impress her. Bottom line – try keeping it straight and being honest.

Now that you have a better idea of when to text after the first date, we hope you don’t end up overthinking the text after the first date and just go for it. As we mentioned in the beginning, it’s entirely possible that you might be giving this too much importance. In reality, it really isn’t that big of a deal, especially if you both liked each other. Text her whenever you want, just make sure you don’t creep her out.


1. What if he doesn’t text after the first date?

If he doesn’t text after the first date, you should. It’s as simple as that. Perhaps he got busy, perhaps there are some things he had to do. In such cases, just go ahead and text him if you’d like to continue the conversation further.

2. How soon is too soon to text after a first date?

You probably shouldn’t text as soon as s/he steps out of your car, or even an hour after the date. If you really want this person to know you had fun, try to wait a minimum of 3-4 hours. Unless they start the conversation before that, of course.

3. Should you text after the first date if not interested?

If you’re not interested, you should still text them after the first date to let them know just that. There’s no need to ghost someone when you can communicate your feelings to them. Tell them you’re not interested in a polite manner and move on.

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