Do you know what is that billion-dollar question which every girl wants an answer to? It’s why on earth do guys tend to distance themselves after getting physically intimate? You start to wonder that even though everything was going so well, after an amazing night, why he suddenly pulled away.
Did you do something which you weren’t supposed to do? Was it simply a hookup for him? Were you bad in bed? Was it because of the tiny fart you couldn’t control? Or that snorting laughter on one of his funny jokes?
These are some of the endless questions that seem to run across your mind. People are of the general misconception that women are the most complicated creatures on earth, but let us tell you, men are equally difficult to understand at times – this being one of them.
If this isn’t the first time you have experienced a perfectly good guy to magically disappear after a perfectly good night, it’s time you get some answers. And we are here to give you just that. Read on to know the actual truth behind this infamous absconding act of men.
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Why Men Become Distant After Getting Intimate
The night was so magical that you day dreamed about it the whole of next day. You expected him to give you a call telling you how he felt the same.
But that call never came and when you ended up calling him he sounded reticent, uninterested. What happened? What went wrong, you are left wondering.
This could be the reason why he is behaving like that.
1. The chasing gene
It’s an ego factor and a competitive instinct found in most men. Couples love to flirt with each other, keep up the chase and enjoy indulging in games.
Guys instantly pick up the flirting signs as soon women give it out. At the end of the day, women love being chased and men love to do the chasing.
But after you have slept with him, the chase is essentially over and this is what leads guys to become distant as they feel their goal is reached and their curiosity is satisfied.
2. He is not ready for a relationship
It’s his fault, not yours, except you may have taken it lightly when you had heard him say he is not up for anything serious. The problem lies in the fact that he may have come to notice certain ties of attachments which he wasn’t planning on having.
He believes he is not ready for any kind of commitment. So, in order to keep a check on his emotions, he is distancing himself and ignoring you.
3. You are scaring him away
If you are of the view that he is going to start loving you after last night’s sex, you might as well get rid of that idea sooner than later.
Men are terrified of love and commitments, and if you are making him breakfast in bed and planning your next weekend together the morning right after sex, they are going to run and never look back. So, even if you start falling for him, make sure to not give it away so soon.
Related Reading: Are You Falling In Love Too Fast? 8 Reasons You Should Slow Down
4. He did not enjoy
We know this is going to sting, but this may be a pretty solid reason for him to get MIA all of a sudden. Maybe last night did not go as planned, and even though he thought you guys would be good in bed, it turned out just the opposite.
This is exactly what may be bothering him and he withdrew himself without even a goodbye. We would highly recommend you to not go after him, and definitely not call him up again.
5. You are being clingy
Sometimes we tend to behave super clingy even though we may not be exactly realizing it. Men tend to bail out as soon as they get a whiff of the other person being a potential clinger. They need you to give them time and space and let things unfold one at a time. If you are showing clingy signs you have had it.
Even if you really want this to work out, you need to control yourself as clinging to him like a life raft is just not going to help.
6. He is having inferiority complex
Yet another reason of him distancing himself right after sex, could be that he is probably worrying himself sick that he was not good in bed. He feels he is with someone out of his league.
This may be what is keeping him away from you and he is not exactly keen on contacting you again. You should give him some time and try to give him a good dose of confidence. That is sure to do the job and it won’t be eating him from within.
7. Hormonal reasons
Yes, men tend to have a chemical power-down, more like a refractory or recovery phase just after an orgasm. Research shows that some people can experience some level of negative feelings and they might want to distance themselves from their sexual partners.
Also during ejaculation, one of the many hormones secreted is known as prolactin which suppresses the expression of desire, motivation and arouses sleepiness and sexual satisfaction.
In other words, post-sex, the testosterone levels in the body go down which temporarily decreases a man’s desire for sex and they tend to pull away.
Related Reading: What Is The Difference Between Making Love And Having Sex?
So, now you know the secret behind why men tend to pull away just after physical intimacy. You can’t change men overnight, but this article is sure to give you much better clarity and ways you can adhere to such situation in your life. You will just need to figure out whether the guy is a player or there’s remotely a chance of him having feelings for you.
1. What to do when he pulls away after sex?
You absolutely need to refrain from drunk-texting and drunk-dialing him. It’s a complete no-go. The thing that you do need to do in such situations is to give him space, play it cool, and give him time. Once he has the time to relax and think it over, he will come back for you and now it’s your turn to chase him. But mind you, don’t play the game for too long.
2. How to show him that you don’t need him?
You are an independent woman right? So, you need to make him feel just the same. You need to go out with your friends, live your life like you would have otherwise done and show him that you are not out there brooding over him, waiting for him to return.
3. How to react when he comes back to you?
It is very important that you are not rude and closed off when he comes back to you. Instead you need to be open and communicative. Let him talk his heart out and you will have a clear idea why he freaked out. This way you can avoid it from happening again.