Anger is one emotion that has the potential to cause the maximum damage to any relationship, because when we’re angry, the blood supply to the thinking centre of our brains literally shuts down and we really don’t have any awareness of what we say or do. And by the time we realize the things you should never say, it’s usually too late and you’ve already made some troubling remarks.
Especially in a romantic relationship, where the bond is so delicate, it is a ticking time bomb. So, to make sure you don’t cause unintentional damage, we bring you a list of things you should NEVER say when you’re in the throes of anger!
Hurtful Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner
We know that when you’re angry and annoyed, you aren’t really thinking about the first thing that rolls off your tongue. All you’re doing is finding a way to vent the frustration that has pent up inside you. But when you’re in a relationship, anger management is key to having a happy union.
We’re not saying that couples should not fight or that expressing anger and frustration is some kind of a vice. In fact, in some cases, fighting is indeed a good thing for your relationship. But knowing where to draw the line, is important. You cannot hit them below the belt and use your bad mood as an excuse for the same. There are many things you should never say to your boyfriend or other things a husband should never say to his wife or vice versa. Here are a few of them.
1. I wish I had never met you
This one sentence negates all the beautiful moments you spent with your partner in a flash. Suddenly your partner will start wondering if all the times you spent together were meaningless and believe us, that’s not a nice place to be in!
Related Reading: 10 reasons why Indian couples fight
2. I hate you
“Hate” is a very very strong word and when you’re in love with someone, you cannot hate them, and that’s a fact. Using such strong words is only going to weaken your relationship and make you partner feel sad and insecure. When your spouse says hurtful things, it is possible that you will remember it for a long time and this is just not one of the phrases you ever want to recall.
Yes, you may be upset with them, you may dislike something they have done, but you don’t hate them as a person. Nobody wants to think their husband hates them. A better thing to say would be “I hate how such-and-such thing you did makes me feel”.
3. I’ll never trust you again
You mean everything to your partner because they know you have faith in them and when you say you will not trust them again, the will to stay in the relationship gets shaken. Don’t express your trust issues so blatantly to them. Tell them you have a hard time shaking off some feelings but don’t say it in such a brutal manner.
4. I wish I was with him/her instead of you
One of the things not to say to your girlfriend or boyfriend is definitely this. This can make your partner feel that you chose them as some kind of compromise and that you still wish you were with someone else. This can make them feel inadequate, unloved and can give rise to bitterness and resentment.
Related Reading: 11 Signs Your Man Has Anger Issues
5. You’ve never made me happy
Cmon, even you know that is absolutely not true! So all those times when you smiles at their little gestures and laughed at their jokes was a farce? No, you say? Well, that’s not what they’ll hear when you tell them they never made you happy.
6. I can’t stand it when you touch me!
Once these words are out of your mouth, after that (much after the storm is over) every time you two kiss, or move to make love, it will raise a barrier in your partner’s mind and they will not be able to help but wonder if you really meant it. This is one of the things you should never say or it will make your partner conscious of themselves for a really long time and can even give them low self esteem.
7. I can’t stand looking at you!
Certainly one of the things you should never say to your spouse, this one will leave an indelible mark on them. You’ll invariably hurt your partner by conveying to them that their face reminds you of all the bad things between you and they’ll wonder if when you smile at them, it’s fake.
8. I lied to you when…
It’s a natural instinct to want to say the meanest things when you’re angry and hurt your partner because that time you’re hurt and you want to give it back. So sometimes you dredge up deceptions from the past just to throw it at them.But remember; once this mean confession is out of your mouth, you’ll NEVER be able to take it back.
Related Reading: How To Deal With A Lying Husband?
9. Any kind of abusive words
Using abusive language just drags you down to a very low level and doesn’t really accomplish anything except little darts of pain to the person in front of you. Try punching a pillow instead and all this to the list of things a husband should never say to his wife or anyone should say to their partner in a relationship.
10. Comments on physical attributes
That would really be a new low and you should definitely steer clear of such comments for these are things not to say to your girlfriend or boyfriend. Everyone has something about their body that makes them self-conscious. And since you two have been together for long, chances are you know each other’s Achilles’ heel. But using it as a weapon of hurt when you’re angry will only cause lifelong scars on the other’s psyche, because they always thought you loved them despite those shortcomings. And the scars from such hurtful words rarely heal.
Remember, when you feel compelled to hurt in anger, it’s your mind playing tricks on you and you’re not yourself. This incites you to cross a boundary and say things you should never say. Later, no matter how much you say you didn’t mean it, it won’t matter, because it will sound like a cover-up. So the better idea is to stew silently when you’re in a fit of rage and speak up only once the tide is low!
Using abusive language, commenting on their physical appearance or telling them you hate them or regret being them are some things you should never say to your boyfriend or girlfriend. No matter how much restlessness or anxiety a situation has caused you, it is not an excuse to give your partner life long scars.
While honestly and openness in a relationship is a good thing, there are some things you should never say to your spouse or your partner that could leave them feeling hurt and disheartened. For example, do not tell them you hate them or that you hate the sight of them. Be conscious of your words when fighting.