“Love starts as a feeling,
But to continue is a choice;
And I find myself choosing you
More and more every day.”
- Justin Wetch
Like most things in life, a loving relationship changes with the ups and downs of time. There are days when a couple feels like they’re dancing on cloud nine and there are weeks when nothing seems to go right. This is exactly where the 30-day relationship challenge enters the frame. If you’ve been feeling out of sync with your partner, and if the relationship seems to be drowning in quicksand, take up this incredibly effective exercise.
Relationship challenges for couples might seem frivolous but they really do work. The key is re-building intimacy and trust between the partners. Each activity nourishes (and revives) the romantic bond step by step. Take a look at what we have in store for you with this specially curated 30-day relationship challenge.
What Is The 30-Day Relationship Challenge?
I know this is fairly self-explanatory but a quick recap always helps. Plus, I get to establish a few ground rules. The 30-day relationship challenge allots an activity to a couple every day. The task could be simple or elaborate in nature. But no matter what it is, both partners have to participate and complete it. They aren’t allowed to skip any tasks or change their order.
You see, the chronology of these tasks is very vital to the success of the challenge. The aim is micro-escalation; couples stuck in a rut shouldn’t jump to the tasks that focus on physical intimacy. The priority is emotional healing and this is why the first few tasks have nothing to do with sex. Once the trust has been reinstated and the empathy restored, we move on to the sexual aspect.
The tasks might need a little tweaking for those couples in a long-distance relationship. Feel free to improvise a little on that front and adapt them to the virtual setting. But rest assured that a 30-day relationship challenge for long distance couples is entirely feasible.
You must also know that opting out of the challenge mid-way is not an option. There will be days when you won’t understand the impact of an activity on the relationship. After all, what does playing a board game have to do with couple dynamics? Why do relationship challenges for couples include things like ice cream? I’ll answer all this (and more) in time. Just know that completing this trial is a MUST.
The only way out is through, and there’s no turning back on this road of improvement. These 30 days of focused work on your relationship will yield stellar results. You’ll notice how your relationship has grown and how much closer you feel to your partner. What are we waiting for? Let’s get started!
How To Go About The 30-Day Relationship Challenge?
The 30-day relationship challenge requires very little improvisation from your end. You just have to play by the rules every day. And most of the days don’t even demand much of your time and energy. All we need is for you to put your heart into the task of the day. But don’t approach this challenge like it’s homework. Your efforts will go in vain if you don’t have a good time.
However, this challenge will call for a certain amount of commitment from both partners. Being involved is pretty important. So be sure to get your significant other on board before you begin. Here’s presenting the 30-day relationship challenge…
1. Cuddle for 30 minutes
Audrey Hepburn said, “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” Who in their right mind would ignore her pearls of wisdom? On the very first day of your 30-day relationship challenge, cuddle up on the couch with your soulmate and stay put for a while. The household chores, work calls, dinner, laptop, etc. can wait. Bask in the warmth of their affection and feel the serotonin release.
Related Reading: How To Beat Boredom In A Relationship?
2. Watch the sunrise over a cup of coffee
Beginning your mornings together is a wonderful practice. Before the hustle and bustle begin, take a few moments to sit in silence with your partner. Talk about anything and everything except your responsibilities. Share a laugh and tell them that you love them. Watch the sun paint the sky in lovely colors. Spending quality time together is blissful indeed.
3. Drop a compliment over text during the 30-day relationship challenge
The task for day 3 is super simple. At any point in the day, drop a compliment to your sweetheart over text. There is no dearth of beautiful things to say. Your partner’s face will light up when they read your text in a meeting. These little gestures can make all the difference in the world. You’ll brighten each other’s day significantly with this task.
4. Play a board game
How long has it been since you both let out your childish side? Get a little competitive with your partner as you play Jenga, Ludo, Pictionary or Scrabble. You’ll roll in laughter as you smack them in mock outrage and run a victory lap in the bedroom. Indulging in such silliness with fun relationship challenges is a great way of breaking any tension in the relationship.
5. Go all out for a fancy date night
Don’t lie to me – you’ve definitely wanted a Hollywood-style rom-com date night at some point. Pick a restaurant you both love and doll up properly. You could even twin the outfit color! A candlelit dinner will set the mood just right for a heart-to-heart conversation with your spouse or partner. I’m not letting the romance die in your long-term relationship.
6. Cook or bake together
I don’t know about you but I love being in the kitchen with my boyfriend. It’s an incredibly therapeutic exercise. Something about cooking together is very intimate. If you aren’t a very skilled chef, keep it simple by baking a cake or brownies. You’ll get to spend some quality time with your partner and eat yummy treats afterward. A win-win situation with the 30-day relationship challenge!
7. Have yourself a pajama party – Fun relationship challenges rule!
Even if you already live together, this idea will pan out perfectly. Because when I say pajama party, I mean a literal pajama party. Where you fish out the sleeping bags, eat pizza for dinner, wear your comfiest PJs, and play games at night. Be your silliest self as you eat a whole lot of candy and shake a leg to old pop songs. As hard as it is to believe, this is just what you and your partner need.
Related Reading: 12 Ways To Fix A Strained Relationship
8. Leave a note for each other
It won’t take more than 3 minutes of your time. Leave a note on the bathroom mirror or the fridge; it could be a funny joke, a compliment, a few words of encouragement, a cheesy pick-up line, or something really romantic. The objective is to make each other’s day better with a quick message.
9. Take a long walk while holding hands
Don’t try to make conversation for the sake of it. Walk together hand in hand and in silence. Look around you, how beautiful is the city? How lucky are you to be with your partner? Count your blessings and enjoy every moment, every step. Stop for a hot chocolate on the way or sit down on a bench in the park. Don’t keep a fixed destination in mind either, just go where the road takes you. These little things make your marriage stronger every day.
10. Kiss each other (REALLY)
This is perhaps the most intimate activity in this 30-day relationship challenge. Kiss your partner on the 10th day; don’t try and seduce them or move on to something more instantly. The goal is to savor the kiss. Recall the beautiful words of John Keats, “Now a soft kiss – Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss.” And much has already been said about the health benefits of kissing.
11. Exercise or meditate together
This is a very serene activity to do. Contrary to popular belief, relationship challenges for couples don’t require you to be romantic every single day. Spending time together, even for the most mundane tasks, is a great way of bonding. Unwind with a workout routine or compose yourself by meditating with your partner. You will feel a difference once you’re done.
12. 30-day relationship challenge for long distance – Re-watch a movie you both love
Every couple has that one film which is their go-to. Maybe it was something you watched on your first date. Or perhaps you are huge fans of the actors. Dim the lights, make some popcorn and get comfy on the couch with a blanket. If you’re an LDR couple, have yourself a watch party. Let the wave of nostalgia and fondness wash over you.
13. Call each other from work
Just a regular check-in. It’s a sweet gesture that says you’re thinking of your soulmate. Ask them how their day is going and whether they had lunch or not. The call can be super short too. But make sure you both call each other without fail. Keeping in touch in these little ways matters much more to your emotional connection than you might think.
14. Go through your old photos
That’s a splendid trip down memory lane. Looking back on the good times is a very integral element of the 30-day relationship challenge. When a couple is constantly arguing, it becomes easy to lose sight of the incredible history they have. Going through old photos or videos hits a refresh button and lessens any hostility they might have toward each other.
Related Reading: 8 Things That Ruin Relationships And You Don’t Even Realize It
15. Turn off your phones and talk for an hour
It is no secret that phones ruin relationships with phubbing. Have an hour where you disable your Wi-Fi, turn off your phones, and keep away ALL the other gadgets. Chat with each other about…well, anything, really. There’s no agenda per se. I just want you to not worry about those emails from your boss or the likes on your new profile picture.
16. Go on a long drive and make a playlist for it
Long drives are intensely therapeutic. You could choose a restaurant that’s far off and dedicate the day to it. Curate a special playlist of your all-time favorites (and your partner’s too!) Once you hit the road, leave all your worries behind. Give your undivided attention to your better half and cherish the journey. And hey – no shortcuts, please.
17. Take a weekend trip
I will hear no excuses. Take a leave from work if you must but find time for this weekend trip. Book a cute bed-and-breakfast or a luxurious spa retreat. Just get away from the sheer chaos of city life and the daily hectic routine. Being by yourself (without any distractions) will do you much good. Travel for two is the best! As far as possible, choose a quiet and calm place.
18. Run errands together
Dividing the responsibilities is a must in each relationship. But doing them together is way more fun. You can do your chores quicker with each other’s help too. So go grocery shopping, do your laundry, clean out the cupboards, and vacuum during the 30-day relationship challenge. Not only will you get the work done, but you’ll also discover the charm of adulting together.
19. Make a list of your partner’s favorite qualities with fun relationship challenges
This is an activity that couples usually do in relationship counseling. It serves to remind them of why they fell in love. And as you can predict, it is harder to criticize or judge your partner when you have their best qualities in mind. Anger management becomes a tad easier, and the feelings of resentment or bitterness get diluted.
20. Take a shopping trip
Many people believe that retail therapy is frivolous. To that I say… yes, it is! And that’s the best part about it. Seeing your partner parade their clothes outside the changing room, trying out the most bizarre styles and grabbing the best deals on discount is super-duper fun. Being a grown-up does not mean holding back from exciting things. My motto is ‘shop till you drop.’
21. Get adventurous in the bedroom
Is there something you’ve been meaning to try? Like BDSM, fetishes, roleplay or femdom? Relationship challenges for couples encourage you to do that. Sexual compatibility is a crucial element of a healthy relationship. This entails open communication, sexual boundaries, and satisfaction too. So please experiment between the sheets – spicing things up is a must.
22. Visit your respective friends
But how is this a couple’s activity, you ask? Well, healthy individuals make healthy relationships and this cannot be accomplished without giving and taking space. It is vital to have a separate social group or an independent sphere in general. Go out for brunch with your friends and take some time away from your partner. At this point in the 30-day relationship challenge, you’ll notice yourself missing your better half when you’re away.
23. Do something that’s out of your comfort zone
This seems like a vague description but I want to leave it up to you. This novel activity could be something as silly as paintball or as sensuous as tantric sex practices. You can pick the genre and form of the task. But don’t try to give me the sly by choosing something you already like. And again, it’s not a question of like or dislike – it’s about expanding your horizons as a couple.
24. Be physically affectionate
Yes! My favorite thing about fun relationship challenges is how they promote affection. A hug a day keeps the blues away. So, hug, kiss, touch, pat and caress your partner on day 24. These little touches fizzle out over time or become mere formalities. Mindful and conscious displays of love are essential when your relationship is stuck in a rut.
25. Laugh together
It’s up to you how you want to laugh together. A funny movie? Stand-up comedy specials? Or lame YouTube videos? Take your pick and laugh the evening away. Humor has been pegged as an essential relationship quality for ages; there are very few things that laughter can’t fix. Liven up your spirits and tickle your ribs with fun relationship challenges!
26. Get drunk together – The 30-day relationship challenge gets better!
Honoré de Balzac said, “Great love affairs start with champagne…” So, for your 26th task, you have to get drunk with your partner. Have a drinking night at home (you can even play drinking games) or go to a bar. Long-distance couples can do this over a video call. Let yourself loose once the margaritas start working their magic. You’ll be your most real self when the alcohol kicks in.
27. Make a midnight run for ice cream
Just for the fun of it. Being out at night is lovely – you feel like you’re on top of the world. And what could make this better except your favorite flavor of ice cream? Drive to a dessert bar or parlor and get a scrumptious sundae. It’ll be a night to remember, I promise.
28. Go on a double date
Hanging out with other couples is quite wholesome. Double dates make for great conversations because there are certain things only people in relationships understand. It’s a great shared ground for bonding. This also gives you the first opportunity in the 30-day relationship challenge to socialize together.
29. Make a list of the goals you want to achieve together
It seems like lists and relationship challenges for couples are closely linked. But commonality of vision for the future will help you get your relationship priorities sorted. You can work toward that goal and build a life together once you have a clear picture. There might be places where you disagree while making the list – compromise and adjust.
30. Spend the day at home
The rest of it is completely up to you, but you must stay at home. Be with each other for a whole day (you aren’t allowed to step out even briefly). House arrest is your final task. For those undertaking the 30-day relationship challenge for long distance, remain at home over video call for the day. It’s not house arrest if you love your cellmate!
Don’t these activities sound like something you’d actually enjoy doing with your partner? You’ve probably already considered these at some point in your life. Take this as a sign from the universe and put them in practice. The 30-day relationship challenge can do wonders if you let it. Be sure to tell me how you fared in the comments below – my best wishes and lots of love!