8 ways you ruin the romance without even realising

Stotropama Mukherjee
anushka and shahrukh

Reboot romance in your relationship

Being romantic takes time and effort and the worst that you can do to a romantic person is being inconsiderate. So when you even don’t need to initiate romance, just try not to spoil the moment by doing the following. Maybe your reactions are not intentional, but each time you do these you break your partner’s heart. All you need to do instead is go with the flow and enjoy being pampered. Think you can manage that?

Related reading: The good old desi ways to rekindle romance with your spouse

Being late

Don’t be late. There might be cakes and balloons waiting for you, maybe a dinner is getting cold or people at your surprise party getting bored. Stop what you are doing and go home to your partner. They might be invested in making your day a bit better and all you need to be is available. It is commonly known that time is the greatest gift you can give to your partner. So try and be generous with your time.

Ruining the surprise

You might think of yourself as Sherlock and snoop around to find out what your partner has been up to, but sometimes it might ruin your chance at romance. That special lingerie that your partner bought for Valentine’s Day or the cake that your partner wants to bake for your birthday: these are beautiful secrets that you should not know before the event. Please try to keep your nose out of it.

Being suspicious

Are you suspicious? Do you check phone logs, credit card bills, and all that? Does your partner even have a scope to surprise you without you knowing about it days ahead? Don’t you think it stops your partner from being spontaneous about expressing their love to you? In Francis Zambon’s words, “We can’t go on together/With suspicious minds/And we can’t build our dreams/On suspicious minds”. There needs to be breathing space between you two to create a romantic relationship, without you breathing down your partner’s neck.

Related reading: Dealing with an insecure boyfriend – 15 coping tips

Staying away too long

A little distance is always good in a relationship. But you should not make it a norm. Stay away from your partner but not for too long. If you do that and keep at it, then your partner might learn to live without you. Don’t fret; being there for someone doesn’t mean you need to be always physically present. But let your partner know that you would rather be with them than whatever is holding you back at the moment.

Missing appointments

Don’t miss appointments. But if you can’t help it, at least let your partner know quite ahead of time. Cancellation is worse if you keep them hanging till the last minute.

Not remembering birthdays/anniversaries

Everybody is not born with excellent memory, but that should not stop you from remembering dates important to your loved one. Use your smartphones, save them in the calendar. The first step for making these dates memorable is to remember them.

Thoughtless gifts

A worse thing than forgetting to gift, is to gift things that are meaningless to your partner. It shows how inconsiderate or unconcerned you are about your partner. Gifts don’t have to be expensive, just thoughtful, to keep the romance alive.

Related reading: 21 last minute gift ideas for your wife’s birthday

Flirting with others

We all flirt with others than our partners, sometimes even to make our partners jealous. But never overdo it. It might hurt your partner in a way that would take a long time to recover from. Trust is a delicate thing; handle it with care.

Unable to make up mind (Yes/No) suspended animation

No one likes to be in suspended animation. Whether it’s a weekend date night or a road trip to Kasol, make up your mind if you are on for it or not. Your partner’s enthusiasm may not survive your test in time. Your inability to answer may be interpreted as unwillingness or worse, reluctance.

We all know in our heart of hearts that nobody is really busy; we just have our priorities. Don’t let your loved one feel neglected; that’s how you destroy any chance at romance.

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