For most women, it is the little things that matter. It’s not really about the big gestures or anything materialistic, like gifting her Swarovski or a high-end car. It’s the everyday simple gestures, like appreciating her, understanding her needs, spending time with her, holding her hand, that matter most. These simple declarations of love are what she values most, more than the expensive jewelry.
But the truth is, men can do things, albeit unintentionally, to upset women. Though they may not agree, men do have the utter ability to drive women to the edge of insanity, especially when it comes to relationship insecurity. Perhaps the biggest concern is that men often don’t realize how their actions are impacting their partners, and that makes women feel insecure in their relationships.
When men continue to make women feel insecure without realizing what they’re doing wrong, they’re essentially brewing a recipe for disaster. Sooner rather than later, the pent-up discomfort is going to cause rifts between you that might be difficult to overcome. To make sure that doesn’t happen, take a look at these 5 things men do to make their girlfriends feel insecure, so you know what not to do.
5 Things Men Do To Make Women Feel Insecure
No matter how secure a woman is, the way most men behave in relationships can shake the confidence of even the strongest women. At times, men seem to make statements that are enough for a woman to doubt herself and her credibility. “You’re overreacting, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” is a form of gaslighting in relationships, and may just end up causing significant harm to anyone who’s at the receiving end.
Sometimes, what makes a woman insecure in a relationship isn’t even as sinister as blatant gaslighting. An offhand comparison with a friend or a colleague may just be enough to make her question herself. When such remarks are made ever so often, without even realizing the damage they cause, the problems they cause can end up becoming detrimental.
Being insecure in a relationship, sometimes, has nothing to do with what the other partner says. By not complimenting her when she’s put an effort into dressing up for you, you might just make her feel as though she’s not enough. Not appreciating the things she does for you is almost always a cause for concern. Let’s get right into the top 5 things that men do to make women feel insecure, so you can make sure you’re not partaking in any inconspicuously harmful behavior that we’ll list out.
1. The white lies cause more harm than you think
You headed straight to your friend’s place and told your partner that you had a meeting. You could have told her whatever the truth was, and it wouldn’t have caused any problems. Such lies may seem inconsequential and like a savior at the time, but they end up causing trust issues in the future.
When she finds out about all the white lies you tell her, like lying about the gender of a colleague or lying about where you are, all it’s going to do is give her more reason to doubt everything you say. Being honest and trustworthy are the two important ingredients in any healthy relationship. Telling lies is one of the things women hate, and these can become the root cause of insecurities in the relationship.
2. Ignoring her on texts is one of the things men do that upset women
She’s not begging for a response the minute you send her a text, but the least you can do is check your phone soon after she sends a text and let her know you’re busy. Texting something along the lines of “Hey, I’m a little busy at work right now. I’ll text you later” can make sure you don’t make her feel like you’re ignoring her. However, if she’s texting you every five minutes after you’ve told her you’re busy, that’s a different story.
3. Ignoring her in a social setting
First, you invite her to your friend’s party, and she’s excited to have a good time with you and your friends. However, as you arrive at the party, you become so busy and caught up with your friends that it takes a really long time to realize that your girl has just been sitting in the corner. Sure, it may not happen if she has other friends at the party or she has the bubbliest personality. But if she doesn’t know anybody there or isn’t too much of an extrovert, you’ve pretty much abandoned her.
As you can see, what makes a woman insecure in a relationship might not even be about what you say to her. Sometimes, it’s your rude behavior that makes her feel insecure. Your friends might’ve pulled you away and kept you busy, but when you’ve been away for hours on end, it’s bound to make her feel lonely.
Related Reading: I Don’t Think I Love My Husband Anymore
4. Not considering her opinion
Insecurity in a relationship also crops up when partners make individual decisions, without giving too much importance to what their partners have to say. Ranging from everyday decisions like where you’re going out to eat or how you’re going to approach the finances of your household, to big decisions like family planning and the future of your relationship, not discussing things with your partner before making up your mind about something is bound to make them feel insecure.
Once you make her feel like she has no say in the decision-making, you’re pretty much making it apparent that your relationship lacks mutual trust. Don’t make any important decisions like moving to another city or changing your job without counting her in. After all, you are building a relationship together, and it will only make her feel less important if you do not consult her.
5. Not talking about your past
For you, your past might not matter anymore but it is always good to be open about it. Hiding unpleasant things about your past will only make her feel insecure if she finds out about them someday. So, it’s better to be clear from the beginning. Want to tackle insecurity in your relationship? Get those skeletons out of the closet and clear all unwanted things.
Dealing with insecurity is possible only when both partners are willing to clear things up between each other. Guys, if you are reading this, stop doing the above things to the person you love the most. It might be unintentional, but as you are aware of it now, please stop. Tell her, show her how much you love her, and enjoy a relationship free from any insecurity. And ladies, please do not keep any unreasonable doubts in your head. Be precise and clear.
What a woman feels most insecure about depends on what she values most in the relationship. However, most women will start to feel insecure when their partner disregards her opinion, doesn’t respect her, or blatantly ignores her in pursuit of some “personal time”.
In all likelihood, he’s probably doing it without even realizing it. In that case, it’s best to let him know as soon as possible about the damage he’s doing. However, if he’s doing it after realizing it, there’s probably a lack of mutual respect and trust in your relationship.
The signs of an insecure woman include being overly jealous, always needing validation and compliments, and being sensitive to body issues.