Gaining a woman’s trust is a gradual process. You can only gain trust by trusting her yourself. It puts you in a vulnerable position, but asking your lady to trust you is asking her to be vulnerable herself.
Here are ways to gain your lady’s trust.
1. Keep your word
If you give your word to her, keep it. If there is a possibility of going back on your word, it will be hard for your lady to trust you. A man is almost as good as his word; breaking a promise takes a lot of time to mend.
And if you do have to go back on your word, let her know what the circumstances are. This little gesture will keep a lid on her disappointment and make her understand your point of view.
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2. Be consistent in how you treat her
Show the same affection to her everywhere. If the way you treat her indoors and in front of your friends varies hugely, it will make her question your affection for her and make it harder for her to trust anything you say or do.
Also, be consistent in what you say. If you say one thing at some point and say a totally different thing the next month, chances are she finds no consistency in you. No consistency, no trust.
How can she trust a guy who keeps changing his mind every now and then?
Related reading: Trust is the mother of betrayal
3. Don’t lie
“It’s just a white lie!”
If your lady finds out you have been lying to her about anything, the line between a “white lie” and a “lie” fades; she sees it as a lie. A lie, no matter how small or how white, can shatter her confidence in you.
4. Don’t apologise without reason
If you have done nothing wrong and utter “I am sorry” at every turn, chances are she thinks you have something wrong and she suspects you.
Apologise when it’s necessary. Refrain from saying things like “I don’t have to explain myself to you” even when the arguments get heated.
Be open about your intentions and if it hurts your lady, take time to explain to her.
5. Let her in
If you want to gain your lady’s trust, you might want to start off by letting her in. Tell her all about your family, friends and that ‘special friend’ you had. Talk about your past experiences – there might be things you are unsure about, but for her to trust you, you will have to give something first. So take a chance and show her who you really are.
6. Acknowledge her words
It takes only a moment to lose this trust that you have gained over the years. Acknowledging her words and not blaming ‘that time of the month’ for her emotions is a good way to go. Her outbursts might seem erratic to you but engage in a conversation and find out the source of her points. All her life, she is used to not being taken seriously, be that in office or at work. Your attention to all that she finds important not just gains your trust but also she will return the respect.
“Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection.”
― Lady Gaga
Keep trusting. You shall receive what you give.