The key to be happy with your partner is to learn how to build trust in relationships. It is one of the bedrocks of a healthy relationship. You can never hope to have a successful marriage or a long-term relationship without the element of trust.
Agreed, this rings true in every other aspect of life from professional ties to personal bonds within the family and between siblings and friends but trust takes on a different meaning altogether in the romantic realm.
Related Reading: Trust Issues – 10 Signs You Find It Difficult To Trust Anyone
What Is The Importance Of Trust In A Relationship?
I would go so far as to say that without trust there can be no relationship. Every other quality that you cherish in a spouse – honesty, loyalty, kindness becomes meaningless if they are not based on trust. Or let’s think of it this way – trust is the first brick in the foundation of a relationship that needs to be built on honesty, love, care and other traits.
Hollywood legend Julianne Moore put it succinctly when she said, “Loving someone is giving them the power to break your heart but trusting them not to.” So why is it so essential to build love and trust in relationships?
1. It teaches us that it’s okay to be vulnerable
When do you distrust someone? It’s when they let you down by not living up to some or all of your expectations. The opposite is true when you build trust with a man or a woman. You are confident to show your vulnerable side to him or her.
2. You feel secure when you learn how to build trust in relationships
It doesn’t matter if you are in a long or short distance relationship. Your past history won’t matter. Nothing matters if you have established certain levels of trust in relationships. You feel secure as you don’t have to constantly scrutinise or monitor your partner’s actions and motivations.
3. You become more true to yourself
When you build trust in relationships, you become a more real person. Imagine living a life where you constantly doubt your partner’s intentions! That stress can kill every joy of togetherness. But the psychology of trust in relationships is that you automatically become comfortable and authentic when you have faith in your partner.
4. You make better connections
Connecting with your partner is as important as connecting with yourself. And to build a strong connection you should trust your girlfriend or boyfriend. When you build trust in relationships, even a daunting task seems doable. You can share your troubles because you know in your heart that you won’t be disappointed.
5. We feel more loved and less lonely
To build trust in relationships, you need to break the walls around your heart. When you have more reasons to trust someone, you have fewer reasons to give in to fear. And fear is what makes us lonely or depressed. You really don’t have to go through bitterness or misery as trust helps replace these negative emotions with positive ones.
Top 9 Tips To Build Trust In Relationships
Now, here’s an interesting fact about love and trust. Being in love may actually have nothing to do with trusting your man or woman. There are plenty of cases where love has lead to jealousy, possessiveness or even obsession (which is a whole new dangerous territory).
Guess why that happens? Because the man or woman has invested many emotions but has failed to build trust in relationships and this is mirrored in overtly possessive behaviour.
But can you make a man trust you completely or does it necessarily have to come from within? Ideally, yes, it has to be organic and not forced but if you value your love life, you can certainly learn how to build trust in relationships.
1. Be worthy of trust
Communication coach Alex Lyon has a simple principle. “If you want people to trust you, you have to be trustworthy yourself. You have to be honest, tell the truth and look out for others’ interests,” he says. Indeed, how can you build trust with a woman or a man if you can’t establish your character?
Character, as the famous saying goes, means what you do when no one is looking. Are you tempted to check your girlfriend’s phone when she’s away? Will you check her email if she hasn’t shut her computer? The honest answer to questions like these tell you if you are worthy of your partner’s trust.
2. Take responsibility for errors
Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. But when something goes wrong, do you take responsibility for it and try to redress it? Or do you try to smooth it over and pretend you had nothing to do with it?
Being responsible for your actions plays a major part if you want to build trust in relationships. It shows strength of character and the ability to stand up for what is right. If you can’t be responsible for small things, how can you expect your partner to trust you with the big challenges?
3. Do not make empty promises
…And do not say things you don’t mean either. Often, people have a habit of making commitments that they don’t follow through. It can be something small from making it on time for a date to something as big as proposing marriage to your long-time girlfriend.
You cannot wonder how to build trust in relationships if you constantly say white lies, never fulfill your commitments and continue to make hollow promises, for these habits will reflect in all aspects of your life, from professional work to personal relationships.
4. Be there for them
This is actually easier said than done. Standing by your partner when he or she actually needs your help is what you need to do to build trust in relationships. It also means responding to their needs and hearing them out when they speak to you. Listening is a form of caring.
In other words, when you are spending quality time with your partner, pay attention to their words and deeds, do not fiddle with the phone or look disinterested. We all like our partners to be our true friend in need, so support them when they seek you out.
5. Build your self-confidence
Maybe your partner is ready to give you trust, but are you ready to receive it? Sometimes people find it difficult to trust because of their own low self-esteem or previous bad memories. For instance, if you have been cheated earlier, you may find it difficult to trust a new one.
Ultimately, you need to have faith in yourself to build trust in relationships. Bad memories notwithstanding, you need to let go, build yourself up and give love another chance.
If you feel confident about yourself, you find it easy to place your faith in others.
6. Have clear boundaries and definitions
Life coach and YouTuber Alexandra Potora says, “The first step is to find out what trust means to you and your partner.” For example, you may frown upon your partner going for a movie or having lunch with his female friend while he may have no qualms if you do the same with a male friend.”
Simply put, the same situation may have different connotations for different people. “Ask each other – what are the things that I do which you make you uncomfortable,” says Potora. So it’s best to outline your boundaries beforehand so that there is little scope for misunderstandings later.
7. Communicate then and there
Here is an important tip for building love and trust in relationships. Do not stew on a point and bring it up later out of the blue during a fight or disagreement. If you have a problem, talk and resolve it then and there. If you trust your girlfriend or boyfriend, don’t wait to air your grievances.
Open communication helps strengthen a bond. It shows high levels of trust in relationships due to which you can have an honest conversation with your partner on any issue.
Let people know what you want. The comfort to discuss potentially awkward or difficult issues is essential if you want to have a long-lasting relationship.
Related Reading: 11 Ways a Sagittarius Woman Acts When in Love
8. Learn to let go to know how to build trust in relationships
If you clam to truly trust someone in a relationship, learn to let go in certain situations. Say, you have discovered a flirty to inappropriate message on his whatsapp from a colleague. Do not jump to conclusions immediately. Instead, try and ascertain facts if they make you uncomfortable.
It is difficult to trust again if you have been lied to or cheated upon but if it’s a first time offense, give them the benefit of the doubt.
Let your beau prove himself and come clean. It is natural to wonder how to build trust in relationships again after a bad experience but do not allow that to cloud your rational judgement.
9. Don’t be afraid to get hurt
Most people have trust issues because they are afraid to get hurt or feel let down. They build up walls to protect themselves. But getting hurt is part of the deal that they call ‘love’. Trust issues crop up when you pay too much focus on the pain but not enough on overcoming the pain.
Give people a chance to show who they are. We live in an era of instant gratification but building trust takes time. So wait for it to happen naturally and don’t rush into anything. Do not seek perfection from yourself or others either. Have patience and gradually develop your relationship.
Building trust in relationships is as much about you as it is about them. Of course, individual experiences shape our larger worldview but it is essential not to be bitter about relationships. Give people a chance and you never know what surprise you will be in for!
If you are honest with each other, have defined boundaries of what you and dislike and are willing to abide by it, if you stand by each other during tough times and are willing to let go of small things for the larger pictures, it can be said you have trust in your relationship.
If the person keeps his word, does not make promises he cannot keep, sticks to his commitment and supports you in your time of need, these are signs that he can be trusted. A trust-worthy person will not make excuses and knows how to take responsibility for his actions.
Lack of trust can also build over time, especially if you have been let down time and again by one person. Constant white lies that get exposed, a lack of discipline or the ability to fulfill promises and deliberate betrayal are major causes of distrust in a relationship.
No. Trust is one of the most important ingredients in a relationship. It is the bedrock on which healthy relationships are formed. If you can’t have trust, it is difficult o have honesty, kindness or care in a relationship.