You Need To Heal Post-Divorce
Wounds of divorce and heartbreak take time to heal. This immediate post-divorce period is bound to make you feel depressed and dreadful. It’s okay to take your time to get back to normal. But at the end of the day, we owe it to ourselves to not choose to harbour negative feelings in life. They can fester and turn you into a bitter person. You already lost a partner in this divorce, you can’t lose yourself too. In a way, this is the clean slate that gives you the opportunity to rewrite your story. Try to make full use of it after you heal. Many see this period as a time of ‘reinvention’. It’s easy to stay stuck in the past but the easy way isn’t always the best one. Here are some tips to help you heal after divorce:
How to heal yourself after divorce
- Live your life one day at a time. Focus on leading an overall healthy and fulfilling day. Hit the gym, jog along the beach, ride a bicycle and feel good. Instead of constantly thinking about the future and the past, think of the day at hand. Just focus on being the best you can today. There are some days that will go by great and some that won’t. But that’s okay. It’s not fair to put yourself under unnecessary pressure.
- Focus on your career. Set up new goals and work towards achieving them. Think about where you would like to be in your career a few years from now and try to work towards reaching that stage. Channelling your energies towards work goals will definitely help you shape up. It can be your driving force port divorce. However, try not to ignore your feelings and immerse yourself in so much work that you forget to deal with your pain
- Make time for family and friends. Their relentless support helped you to sail through divorce and make it out the other end. Cherish and grow your relationships with people that matter to you and those who stuck by you
- Find comfort in a hobby. Painting, long drives, creative writing, swimming, sports or gardening – choose anything that makes you feel better and is therapeutic for your soul
Getting remarried in India after a divorce is still a bit of a taboo for the older generation. However, the younger generation is increasingly open about divorce and remarriage after divorce in India
Questions To Ask While Thinking Of Divorce And Remarriage
Believe it or not, a divorce makes you more realistic, wise and honest as a person and hence, in a relationship. This time around, you are clear on what you want or don’t want from your remarriage. So, before dating or committing to remarriage, ask yourself some crucial questions to get a clear picture and avoid making hasty decisions. Many people choose to opt for a second marriage in India after a divorce. However, this should only be done if you are clear about your decision and where you stand. To ensure that you have clarity ask yourself the following questions:
What’s motivating you to get married?
If you have a crystal-clear mind-set towards your current partner, then this is a solid reason to think about remarriage.
Have you contemplated your failed marriage and learnt from it?
Have you taken enough time to heal?
Remember that there is no “appropriate” amount of time to get over a divorce. You don’t need to rush yourself. Take as long as you need to get over your old marriage and reach a place of acceptance.
Have you battled any challenges together?
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Do they make an effort to bond with your children/parents?
Are your finances compatible?
Many marriages in India dissolve because of financial incompatibility.
Try to find out if your current partner is a spendthrift, or is in debt. Who earns more between you both? Will you be able to support each other, in case of job or business losses?
Talk about such issues and then decide whether you would like to proceed further. Divorce and remarriage are all about taking things one step at a time.
When can you remarry in India after a divorce?
Once the decree of divorce has been handed over, you can remarry as and when you want. There is no specific bar on remarriage after divorce has happened. However, many times estranged spouses appeal to the court that the divorce has been forced upon them since the partner wanted to get married soon. Plus, a hasty decision can complicate your new relationship because you have not yet healed and are not sure about what you want from the marriage.
The Indian law states that when a marriage has been dissolved by a decree of divorce and either there is no right of appeal against the decree or, if there is such a right of appeal, the time for appealing has expired without an appeal having been presented, or an appeal has been presented but has been dismissed, it shall be lawful for either party to the marriage to marry again.
Possible complications of remarrying post-divorce
Many individuals have found a new lease to life after remarriage. They manage to find their soulmate even after divroce and chances are, you will too. But, before you say ‘I do’, try to look into certain potential complications that may arise and could be avoided.
How soon is too soon for remarrying after divorce?
There is no right time for remarrying after a divorce. Legally, you can remarry the day you sign your divorce papers in India. But you need to prepare yourself to trust your new partner emotionally, financially and with your kids if the equation involves them. To achieve that level of understanding, you need to get to know them and spend enough time with them. There is no rush to tie the knot again. Don’t let society play with your mind and force you to remarry. Let your love blossom, and try to understand the person better before you decide to jump with both feet into a remarriage.
Remarrying after divorce with children
Many people who have got a divorce get remarried. Among these, there are many instances where one partner has children from the previous marriage. In such a case, it is important for both the biological parents, as well as the new step-parents, to help the children better understand the reasons for divorce and remarriage after a divorce. They need to slowly allow the kids to settle into the new situation and accept change.
Remarrying for love
Divorce doesn’t make a person incapable of falling in love again. Many people who have chosen to remarry after a divorce have found love in their new partner. Love has the power to overcome all the odds, with the right company and at the right time. If you are sure of your love for each other, then nothing can stop you from remarrying for love. Remarriage in India often happens because people find the soulmate.
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It can’t be denied that financial compatibility and understanding is the key to many successful relationships. A lot of divorced women who are not financially independent find it hard to manage children. Some do not even get enough money in childcare support or by the way of alimony. Many divorcees decide to remarry based on financial compatibility with their new partners. Knowing that the joint financial situation is good enough to keep your families running smoothly is a great solace. Especially to those paying for child support.
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