Sometimes you cannot just tell if it’s you or it’s your man who’s a commitment-phobe.
Phobia for commitment doesn’t always have to be for relationships. If a person is commitment phobic, he will refrain from any kind of relationship he CAN refrain from.
Look for these signs to see if your man is commitment phobic.
1. Commitment to plans:
If your beau is unwilling to commit to plans two or more weeks in advance with no reason whatsoever, he might be commitment phobic. Making plans that require serious thought is a scary thought in his mind and needs to be aborted soon.
2. No emotional conversations, please:
You hang out all the time and talk over the phone but your conversations mostly comprise talking about the world in general rather than talking about feelings or emotions. If he sees the conversation is headed to a point which has emotional undertones, he quickly digresses to a different course.
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3. Vague about past relationships:
It’s always “My ex and I wanted different things, that’s why we broke up”. He doesn’t explain the ‘different things’. Usually the breakups follow a specific pattern that he doesn’t even seem to notice. He is vague about his past ‘relationships’; he might not even call them relationships.
4. Not good with ‘PDA’:
It is very difficult for a commitment phobic person to show signs of affection in public. Even holding hands for a while seems like a Herculean task for them. They rarely say ‘I love you/I like you’ and might only say it after four bottles of beer.
5. Keeping it casual and “taking it slow”:
Normally, ‘taking it slow’ means there is a future in the relationship. However, in the mind of a person who is a commitment phobe, ‘taking it slow’ is to buy oneself some time to let the relationship die out on its own. They also keep reiterating and hinting how casual things are and how he is liking the way things are now.
Related Reading: Why you should be friends with your lover
6. No texts after the dates:
You might go on awesome dates and seem to enjoy being with each other, but the text or the phone call you await, never really comes. Communication is snapped until you have to meet up for drinks again and the cycle continues.
7. “Party at your place? Umm…maybe”:
All the plans initiated by you are answered with a ‘Wow, great’ or ‘I’ll try and come’. Excuses like ‘Maybe. I have a meeting that night’ or a downright ‘No’ is not at all hard for them to say. In their minds, since they do not want anything serious, their priorities do not lie in pleasing you.
If your romantic partner is emitting these signs all over the place, you can give him time and space till he figures out what he wants. Phobia for commitment is curable if the person is willing to work on it. Let’s hope he is willing to work for it.