Navigating how to cope with a breakup can send you into a tailspin of despair. You might think you have it under control after finding your answer at the bottom of a rum bottle, but the next morning you are in the throes of the same despair, all over again.
No matter how many rebound relationships you try, bury yourself in work to avoid thinking about them or binge eat your way through the heartbreak – somehow their thoughts still pop up in your head and take you back to square one.
6 Ways To Get Over A Breakup
No matter how long the relationship was, or how good or how bad, breakups are nasty and nobody deals with them well. Getting over a breakup is no cakewalk when your heart feels like it has been shattered into a million tiny pieces.
Whether you are playing Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry or slamming it up with Love the Way you Lie, one thing to remember is indulging in hate songs won’t help you in the end. There are many other and more constructive ways to deal with heartbreak that you should divert your attention to.
Are you still unsure how to cope with a breakup? Because there are a few tips that you might want to consider to get yourself through this.
1. Communicate your thoughts
Suppressing your feelings is not a great idea, whether it is due to coping with a breakup or any other reason under the sun. Ignoring your feelings only creates a bulge in your innermost thoughts, and these pent-up emotions often find an outlet in the ugliest ways.
Don’t repress the emotions that you have a right to feel. You invested a better part of yourself in a relationship and it has crashed and burned. Let them flow. Vent all you want. Give yourself time to grieve. Cry all day if that’s how you cope with feeling empty after a breakup.
And when you are tired of your red, puffy eyes, you can vent it out by writing about it or talking to someone you trust. Writing about your feelings goes a long way to helping you process what you’re really going through. Journaling can be therapeutic but remember, the healing process is a curve and you must let the venting take its own time.
2. Don’t stalk; sever all contacts
If your ex-partner was a friend to you more than a partner and even if they want you to remain ‘friends’ after the breakup, it’s okay to sever contacts for a while, at least till you have gotten back on your feet. Stalking your ex-partner’s social media will agitate you more. You will lose sleep and wake up miserable again the next day. If dealing with a breakup requires you to sever all contacts, then do it.
For you to heal, stopping all communication will be tough (since you probably have their number memorized) but try and manage to stay off the phone for a while. When it comes to dealing with a breakup, your willpower plays a big role in how soon you can bounce back from the abyss of heartbreak. No matter how much you need to hear their voice, fight it.
3. Focus on positive thoughts for coping with a breakup
Being bitter after a breakup is quite normal. You should try to channel the heartbreak into something positive if you are serious about getting over a breakup in a sustainable way.
After the intense period of sobbing and ‘Why did this happen to me?’, you cannot remain bitter about your ex forever. The negative emotions have to be channelized into positive thoughts. Think about all the things that made you happy in the relationship. Ignore the mistakes, focus on the good things you have learned from the relationship.
Forgiveness in a relationship is the only way you will be able to move past it and onto better things. Holding onto grudges will do you no good. Also, don’t go bitching about your ex to everyone you know. That will just lower their opinion of you.
4. No rash decisions
Flying right into a new relationship, quitting your job or moving houses all of a sudden are not the ways to get over a breakup. We know you must be feeling the itch to redesign your life because you are craving some change but you have to be smarter than that when nursing your heart back to health.
Don’t rush into major decisions about your life like impulsive car shopping or moving to a new apartment. Rash decisions can deviate you from actually dealing with what you are feeling on the inside. A casual hook-up spree or a new hairdo is not going to ease the pain inside. Getting over a breakup takes more mettle than that.
5. Accept the support of your loved ones when getting over a breakup
Your relationship breakup has been hard, we know. In this state, staying around those who love you will lift your spirits. Your friends and family are the best support system when you’re worried about how to cope with a breakup. Your loved ones have always got your back, they know you well and will do anything and everything to see you happy and healthy. Spending time with friends can truly cure any ailment of the heart. All you have to do is accept their support.
Call your sister or your cousin (close ones) and cry to them and tell them what has happened. From advice to comfort food, they will provide everything that you need. Bring your girl gang and bore them with your breakup story for the hundredth time. They might say ‘not again’ but they are there for you and will lend a shoulder for you to cry on.
6. Devote a little ‘me time’
Haven’t washed your hair for three days? Haven’t combed it either? Forgotten about your skincare routine completely? Don’t know what the outside world looks like? Those are the withdrawal symptoms of a breakup.
We know coping with a breakup is not easy but you have to pick up and dust yourself off at some point. Dedicate a day of the week to get back on your feet and indulge in some grooming tips. Ask for a work from home day, enjoy retail therapy, get a full-body spa or a massage to rejuvenate yourself. You will find it miraculous how mellow music in a semi-dark room and a masseuse can make the foul thoughts go away.
So, there you have it. How to cope with a breakup is not some rosy road that will instantly make you a better person. It is a process, a long and tedious one too. But there are many ways to get over a breakup and feel better again. Believe in yourself, trust destiny, and take it one day at a time.
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First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Next, do things that make you feel confident and happy again. Take a vacation, indulge in some vanity, get a massage or spend more time with your friends. Do constructive and reasonable things to feel better again.
It can take between 6 to 18 months to completely get over a breakup and be over someone. But know that it gets easier with each day.