People often think that being happily single is a myth, or at best, a fleeting state of mind. To enjoy being single is almost pitied, as if one is just settling for less and trying to make the best of an unfortunate situation. However, that is just not true. To be happy single and alone is a reality and wanting singlehood is very much a choice that people consciously make. The art of being single and loving it isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it!
Being a single woman or a single man has its perks. Apart from its obvious advantages, it is also a lifestyle that people often deliberately opt for because it suits them. It may not work for everybody or at every stage of one’s life but being happily single is no bizarre concept. We made the rounds, talked to some singles, and rounded up some mantras of being happily single and making the best of single life.
The 12 Mantras Of Being Happily Single
A study showed that in 2018, around 45.1% of Americans were single, a number that has been rising steadily since 2016. Part of the joy of being single is owning it. Acknowledge that being single is not a negative thing. It may be a little difficult, but if you think about it, so are relationships. It all really comes down to what works for you and how you make it happen. To enjoy being single, you have to believe that it is the right thing for you. More importantly, believe in yourself and set solid goals.
How to not feel lonely when you are single is a necessary step to enjoying this lifestyle. A happy single life is not tirelessly difficult but it will take a little bit of effort. We give you 12 mantras of being happily single to remind yourself of when you embark on this lifestyle:
1. ‘Others’ lives do not matter’
Yes, we know, you’re scrolling Instagram and Rebecca’s trip to Cancun with her boyfriend or Andre’s engagement party popping up. You’re looking at their beach photos with their arms around each other and somewhere, a tiny voice inside you asks if you’re really loving along and loving it.
Janice, 37, a digital marketer, says, “I do enjoy being single, but I’m also at an age where most of my friends and peers are either married, or in relationships. So, there are endless engagement parties and anniversary parties and couples’ nights out. I’m mostly okay with it, but there are times when I look at them and wonder if I’m going to be single forever, and if I’m all right with that. And then, I go home to my own apartment, my own space, and I’m so at peace that I know I’m all right.”
There will always be silent triggers that may make you question your belief system. If you want to enjoy the single life and juice out its plus points, you have to stop looking at other people and how they live. People choose all kinds of lifestyles for themselves and the only way you will love yours is if you believe in it to be the right thing for yourself. Plan your own solo trip to Cancun!
2. ‘I am enough’
Oftentimes when you are single, you may yearn for companionship, a hand to hold, a forehead kiss or just comfort in the arms of a significant other. Remember that to be happy, single and alone, your love for yourself needs to be sufficient at the end of the day. You need to become proficient at the art of being single and loving it.
Also, being single doesn’t mean you’re devoid of love or affection in your life. Remember, love isn’t a ladder where romance is the top rung. Friends, family, community – these are all immense sources of love to cultivate and nurture. Most importantly, though, remember that you yourself are important and deserving of love in every form. You, alone, are evolving and growing as an individual in your singledom. And that is enough, because you are enough.
Related Reading: Single vs. Dating – How life changes
3. ‘I can set my own rules’
Samantha, 33, a communications executive, lives alone with three cats. “Honestly, my favorite part of being single is that I don’t have to share my pets,” she laughs. “Also, getting to know myself means I know what I’m really like to be around. This way, I’m more aware of where I could change and be better. But also, I know where I am already amazing!”
When you are not encumbered by another person, their needs, wants and happiness, you have a lot of time to focus on your own. The key to being happily single is knowing that you never have to please anybody but yourself.
“I can eat scrambled eggs for dinner and lie around in my nightshirt all weekend,” exclaims Tabitha, 42, a chartered accountant. “I’m not worried about someone else’s eating habits or hygiene or anything. It’s just me and my joy of being single, hanging out!”
The joy of living alone is that you will never have to compromise and you can quite easily design your life the way you like. No limitations or strings can control you anymore.
4. ‘I chose this for myself’
Being happily single should never feel like a forced or necessary state of mind that you are trying to show off to the world. To be able to internalize it, it has to be a choice that you make willingly and consciously. Definitely not one that stems from a lack of options.
Yuri, 28, a journalist and writer, says, “I date, I have intimate relationships, but I still identify as single. I even want to have kids someday, but not necessarily have a monogamous, long-term partner. I’ve chosen a happy, single life for myself, and it’s fulfilling in many ways. As of now, I’m living alone and loving it!”
If you are unable to convince yourself of this choice, chances are that you have still not entirely adjusted or learned to love the single life. The key to how to live happily single is truly wanting it for yourself.
5. ‘It will only make me a better person’
The whole point of choosing the single life is if it is making you and your life better. It will give you time to focus on yourself, spend time on your hobbies, learn things with a fresh perspective and open your eyes to a whole new landscape of living. To make the best of single life, focus on your emotional and intellectual growth.
The only way you can be happily single is if you know these things are meant to take you to a better place in life. Take your single life into your own hands and have some fun with it.
6. ‘I am not lonely’
Do not confuse being single with being lonely. You can be happily single and still have a fabulous social life. Your social circles and relationships with other people are in no way compromised just because you do not have a romantic partner.
If you’re having a rough day, need some advice or just want to sulk and eat a tub of ice cream in front of the TV, I’m sure you have people in your life who can be there for you. You can still be single and happy.
To be happy being a single woman or single man is to revel in your singledom, rather than see it as a lack or failure to create romantic connections. Again, there is always love in your life, even if you’re in a relationship.
7. ‘My needs will not be compromised’
Here, we are talking about sexual needs. You can still indulge in casual hookups – the kinds where you are not obligated to call the next day. The greatest perk of being single is being able to enjoy physical intimacy without having to get on any emotional rollercoasters.
This also gives you the opportunity much more sexually. You can try new things with new people and be surprised in bed. You may even learn a few things about self-pleasure, indulge in sensual pleasures meant only for you.
“I try and make a pleasure day for myself once every couple of weeks,” says Virginia, 36, a writer. “I light candles, take a luxurious bubble bath, wear gorgeous nightwear or lingerie, and occasionally pleasure myself. It’s a reminder that I am a deeply sensual being and that being single doesn’t mean I don’t pay attention to those needs. To be happy being a single woman, I want to attend to all my needs.”
8. ‘I love myself’
Love yourself in leaps and bounds because your own validation is what matters at the end of the day. This mantra should be applied in your life regardless of whether you are single or not.
When you love yourself immensely, no amount of self-sabotaging behaviors, criticism or questions regarding your self-worth will creep in. We often underestimate the power that these words can have in how we look at ourselves and our lives. Be kind to yourself, even when you’re not doing so well. Being single doesn’t mean you’ll never make a mistake or a bad decision.
Love yourself, forgive yourself and remember your singledom has nothing to do with things that don’t work out. You are your own stability, your own safe space. The joy of living alone has its moments, but there will be times it gets tough. Be gentle with yourself at these times.
9. ‘My fulfillment does not depend on other people’
To be a happy single man, know that you don’t need a partner to add value to your life. You can have a fulfilling and successful life by building it on your own. Whether it is your career, your family or a passion project – your fulfillment does not lie in a romantic partner.
To love a person does not hold the key to leading a fulfilling life. Your satisfaction with your life always boils down to yourself, your decisions and what you make of things around you.
10. ‘I am wanted’
Remember that you are not single because you are unwanted or unloved. Know that you could have your pick of dates and partners if you wanted to. To be happily single also means that you need to know you are desirable.
Many happily single celebrities have long lists of fans and exes pining for them and yearning for their attention. The only difference is that they do not want them back and that has nothing to do with one’s own worth.
11. ‘I am prioritizing myself’
Being happily single is all about having the right goals in mind for yourself and your life. To cruise through life, you must set milestones and shape your decisions the right way. Choosing the single life is only really worth it when you have other things going for you that are far more important.
A study says there are genuine health benefits of being single, saying unmarried people tend to be healthier than their married counterparts. So, there’s every chance you’ll be fitter and healthier as you take on the single life.
“I thoroughly enjoy that I get to spend my money only on myself,” says 29-year-old Anne. “There’s no one to dictate what I spend on or how much – what I earn is entirely mine to spend on anything I choose.” Evidently, the financial benefits of being single aren’t too bad either!
12. ‘I do not care about what others think’
When you’re single and your friends are in relationships, that is usually not very easy. A million people will tell you a million different ways to live your life. Smile, nod and walk off. Your life is meant to be in your own hands and you will always know exactly what to do with it.
People’s subtle hints on how you didn’t bring a date to her party should not affect you in any way at all. How to live happily single is about caring more about what you need and caring less about what others think.
Being Single Is Amazing
No shade to those who are happily paired off, but let’s face it, singledom gets a lot of flak it doesn’t deserve. Singletons are forever being judged as being lonely, not attractive enough, eccentric cat ladies etc. The truth is there’s plenty of us who simply like our own space and independence, and actually enjoy being on our own.
“Being single forces me to acknowledge all my mistakes, and also take full credit for all my success, whether professional or personal,” says Samantha. “Ultimately, I know my happiness, or the lack of it, comes down to me and the choices I make. There’s a wonderful liberation in knowing that.”
So, if you’re stepping into singledom and wondering if you’re making the right decision, never fear. Maybe you’ll be single for a while, maybe you’ll eventually be with a partner. Or maybe you’ll find wonderful friendship and intimacy outside traditional relationship roles and structures. Either way, stand strong and confident in your single life because ultimately, this is your life.