Sex and physical intimacy are an essential part of life. Many think investing time and energy on relationships is a waste, especially given the nature of fast track on the click, on the go lifestyle we have now. “It’s safer to have a friend with benefits, rather than a boyfriend or husband,” admits 28-year-old corporate trainer Anushka Panth. But what happens if you start falling in love with your friend with benefits? When you tell yourself I have feelings for my friend with benefits, what do you do then?
Who is a friend with benefits?
A friend with benefits is someone you are very good friends with and enjoy having sex with but you are not in love with the person or emotionally attached with them. You do not go on romantic dates but you could just hit the bar as a gang or check out a movie together. You could be knowing each other’s secrets and teasing each other about your crushes but there is no stable romantic relationship between you two. There is no love as such.
What do friends with benefits do together?
They usually do all the normal things that friends do. They hang out in a gang, watch movies together and hit the nightclub. They often hang out together alone but a friends with benefits relationship or FWB as it is also called has physical intimacy thrown into normal friendship. Usually, two friends talk about their need to be physically intimate but they are not emotionally connected so they can be into physical relationships with other friends too.
Sometimes it happens a group of friends could all be into friends with benefits relationships so when they are travelling together on a holiday it does become a bit of a mad scenario. In a group, you could be friends with benefits with one person one day and then have a similar relationship with another person another day. In that case, things do get a bit complicated when you hang out together. Otherwise to put the answer to the question, what do friends with benefits do together, simply we would say they hang out together and have a lot of sex. They are not dating though.
Related Reading: We Were Friends With Benefits But I Wanted More
Confessions Of People Who Fell For Their Friends With Benefits
Sex does foster emotional intimacy and you do feel a surge of emotion that you might not have felt for a person before. Falling in love with your friend with benefits can complicate the situation. You could be telling yourself, I have feelings for my friend with benefits. Bonobology brings to you some real instances to help you understand if you are in love with your friend with benefits.
“I became a sex addict”- Jiya Roy, 32
I have always enjoyed a good tumble between the sheets but with him but I suddenly became a sex fiend. Yes, I became a sex fiend. I later realised that sex is the only thing that connects us. And I didn’t understand how else do I keep him close to me. It was when I tried having sex with someone else to satisfy my lust but could not, that I understood I had developed feelings for my friend with benefits. It was ‘him’ that made me a sex addict. I became a sex addict for him but I wanted it only with him.
“I stopped sleeping around. I started having sex with only her”- Sumit Tiwari, 31
I love sex like every other man. I never understood the concept of having sex with only one single person. However, slowly I stopped having sex with other girls and slowly started being monogamous with one of my friends (with benefits only). I started catching feeling signs for my FWB.
After some time I realised why. I had fallen in love. It’s hard to believe but I stopped sleeping around. I started having sex with only her. I was madly in love with her and enjoyed it with her only.
“Saturday nights were no longer about raunchy sex only” – Soham Sinha, 28
I knew I was in the proverbial trouble of love when Saturday nights were no longer about raunchy sex only. I planned movie nights and dates with her. Sometimes we didn’t even have sex. Lucky for me we both were on the same page and had developed feelings for respective FWBs.
“It started with syncing my schedule with his” – Jheelum Pal, 30
I have always been an independent, living-on-my-own-terms and own-schedule kind of a girl. Even when I was in relationships, never did I compromise my schedule for my partner, let alone for a friend with benefits. But I made an exception to the rule when I fell in love with him. I made efforts to accommodate him into my life. It started with syncing my schedule with his. I fell in love with my friend with benefits.
Related Reading: Does A Friends With Benefits Relationship Work?
“I became jealous and demanding” – Aryan
I have three friends with benefits. All of us know the score. I would hang out with them occasionally. With time, I started having less sex with the other two. I completely stopped. I started having feelings for the one. I became jealous and demanding. I picked fights with her even when she innocently spoke about other men. I wanted her completely to myself. And I told her that.
Do these instances mirror your situation and feelings? When did you realise you are in love with your friends with benefits. Tell us in the comments section.
Names changed on request.