When a guy cancels a date, a thousand questions run in your head. Was it something you did or said? Was it that his friend or sibling gave you a pass. Are you not pretty enough? Did he think you were overweight? Are your manners not right? And all of this is cruel as it takes away your peace and sanity. Not to mention it’s the effect on your self-esteem.
Besides what about all the time you had spent mentally preparing yourself for the date? The outfit and shoes, thinking of the right café , maybe you had already bought a new perfume for this.
You feel lost and stupid. And you struggle to understand the ‘why’ of it. Dating is confusing and a guy cancelling a date is demeaning unless it is accompanied by a rational explanation. It can literally drive you insane. This could lead to relationship anxiety issues.
When a guy initiates and cancels a date know that this is not a statement on you, at least do not assume so. It could be something at his end, some emergency, something the family asked him to do right then that he couldn’t wiggle out of.
Give yourself the benefit of doubt and think about your plan of action. What can you text when he cancels on you! You want to show that you’re cool about it but also want to know whether he is going to reschedule.
You don’t want to come off as clingy or desperate but you don’t want to be left hanging either. You also want to ensure he is not ignoring you for someone else.
So what can you do? What are your options? What are the right texts to send when the man cancels on you? Here are 5 common scenarios when a guy cancels a date and what you should text.
Related Reading: What Are Some Good First Date Questions To Get To Know Someone?
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When A Guy Cancels A Date What You Should Text
When a guy cancels a date how should you respond? Responding to a cancelled date can be tricky. But your privacy going for you, remember the receiver can’t see your expression or how disappointed or sad you were and so you can act cool even if you feel like a mini wreck inside. But you are confused about what he really wants.
You can easily show that you are okay with him cancelling the date in the last minute. All you have to do now is send the right text to convey what you want him to know. Here are five scenarios with what to text when he cancels on you.
1. How to respond when a guy cancels the first date?
First response: Okay. Thanks for letting me know.
It is a big blow to the ego when a guy cancels the first date. But think about it that he informed instead of keeping you waiting at the restaurant. That way he followed first date dating etiquette.
One girl wrote to us about how she was stood up at the Italian restaurant which she had picked and she waited for 45 minutes before realizing he wouldn’t turn up. She couldn’t help notice the sign of pity in her favourite waiter’s eyes and felt embarrassed.
So give your guy points for at least not putting you through it. And then give him as we said before, the benefit of the doubt. He may have had some genuine reason for cancelling the date. The above text response shows that you are cool about it and appreciate that he informed you.
Second response: Okay cool. Let me know when we can reschedule.
The previous response is a little distant if you feel more confident about him you can even text, ‘Let me know when we can reschedule’.
This shows your interest in him but in a chill manner which shows that you understand something might have come up.
You’re letting him know that you are still looking forward to meeting him. Leave the message at that. Don’t start planning the next date already. Now the ball is in his court and you have to wait for his next move. And if he cancelled the third date just wait without fretting.
Related reading: Bad date night : passport to freedom
2. What to text when a guy cancels a date but reschedules?
First response: Umm. I’ll check my schedule and let you know.
You may be totally free on the date and time he reschedules it but you don’t want to give him the impression that you are waiting for him. You need to show that you have a life too, even if the date at that point is the most important and exciting thing in your life.
Don’t immediately give a nod when he reschedules. In fact, we would go as far as to say that even before you read the message let some time pass. Take your time to open the message. But do respond to the message within 15 minutes of having read it.
Once you have responded with the above take a few hours before you confirm to the reschedule. Nothing is more attractive than the wait or the tiny apprehension of whether you will say yes or no. Welcome to the dating game girl! Also, remember we persist what the other resists. When a guy cancels a date this is exactly how you should respond. Ignore the one you are attracted to.
Second Response: I’m sorry, I’m busy that day. How about next week?
If you are the kind who likes to up the ante, add a little more zing to this. You can pretend that you are busy on the day he suggested and reschedule on a day of your choice, perhaps 2-3 days later than he suggested. That way you convey to him that your free time is not easy to come by.
Two things may happen, either he will find you even more desirable or he may think this is too much to pursue. What you pick is up to you.
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The positive side of taking this route is that he will get the message and not take you lightly (if he did so the first time around) and this is a nice practice to set for any relationship. In a way, it is showing your boundaries.
Also by making him reschedule on a date given by you, you are taking control of the situation and making him adjust his schedule for you now. He’ll rethink about cancelling again. This way you make him realize your worth, as most of us tend to take the loved ones for granted and knowing-unknowingly end up hurting them.
Third response: Friday sounds great.
Sometimes if the guy has rescheduled for a genuine reason, if this is what your instincts tell you then do not act pricey. Maybe you can casually ask around (without it getting to him) or even if your guts tell you that his canceling was genuine, we would recommend you go with it.
Say “yes” to the date. But remember do not say yes immediately, make him wait for a few hours for that. You do not want to give the impression that you are really into him even if you are. It’s important to play hard to get.
3. How to respond when a guy cancels a date twice?
First response: Seriously? You got to be kidding me.
You have every right to be mad that he has cancelled on you, again. This shows that he’s not serious about you and you need to show him that you’re not okay with it.
You need to show him that he can’t behave with you like this. Show that you are angry through your texts and make him rethink what he has done.
Second Response: It’s better you don’t text me again.
It’s unacceptable if a guy cancels a date twice. It’s better to call it off if this guy keeps on cancelling on you. Think about it, how seriously he should have taken the reschedule and the fact that he did not is a sure shot sign that the guy is not into you and this will not go anywhere.
However much you may like him he is not worth your time and effort if he cancels on you the second time around. Farah wrote to us about how she had a crush on the college hero for close to two years before he asked her out. She was ecstatic and he cancelled on her, rescheduled and cancelled again.
She said, “Maybe this was the closure my silly crush needed and I thank him for cancelling on me twice which actually helped me move on!”
4. When a guy cancels a date and doesn’t reschedule
First response: Do you forget to reschedule dates on all girls you date or am I just too special?
Use a mixture of sarcasm and humour in your texts. This will definitely make you come across as a woman with mettle and wit.
Plus he will realize his mistake. If he keeps giving you excuses and doesn’t reschedule, it’s best to say goodbye. If he realizes his mistake and reschedules, you got yourself a date!
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Second response: You owe me a date.
If you really really like this guy, then only use this line on him. Why do guys cancel dates? Usually, when a guy cancels and doesn’t reschedule, it means that he doesn’t want to see you. But if you think that the guy genuinely forgot to reschedule, give it a try.
Life is all about taking chances after all. See how fast he responds to your text. That also shows whether he’s interested in you or not. What he replies next will give a clear idea about how he feels about you.
5. Guy cancels a date due to family emergency or calling in sick- what to text?
First response: It’s okay, take care. Let me know if you need anything.
If the guy cancels on you because he’s sick or someone in his family is and he had to help with that, express concern and ask him if you can be of any help. In fact, you can go as far as to check on him again after 24 hours even if he hasn’t responded.
Check on him and offer help. ‘Hope things are better’ is a safe and warm text which shows concern. This will also show that you are a caring person.
Related Reading: 21 Questions To Ask On A Second Date
Second Response: Be with your family and take care.
When a guy cancels dates for a family emergency, there’s nothing you can do about it. All you can do is tell him to take care and you’re there if he needs someone to talk to. Don’t bring up the family too much as it is too soon to take an interest in the family.
Family emergencies usually take their time to get things back to normal so expect your waiting time to be high. There are chances that he forgets about you, depending on how grave the family emergency is. Be prepared for the worst.
How many times the guy cancels dates says a lot about that person. If a guy cancels a date but doesn’t reschedule, it means that he has other things as his priority. If a guy cancels twice, it either means that he’s really unlucky when it comes to dates or he’s taking you casually.
Family emergencies are unavoidable and you need to give him the benefit of doubt for that. But make sure that he really has a family emergency as guys use it as an excuse to avoid you at times.
If a guy cancels but makes it a point to reschedule, it means that he takes you seriously and is looking forward to meeting you again. You now know what to text him when he cancels on dates. Just remember, don’t panic and keep these pointers in mind.
FAQs
It means that he is polite to let you know beforehand and didn’t make you wait at a restaurant. It could mean he has a genuine reason to cancel like an emergency or work meeting or it could also mean he is avoiding you but can’t say directly.
If there is a genuine reason to cancel a date and reschedule it, it is not rude at all. This happens all the time and you should take it in your stride.
The person who cancels it should reschedule it according to both partners’ convenience.
