After countless fights and making each other feel horrible, you’ve now decided to take a break in your relationship. It’s possible you’re feeling anxious about how everything will turn out, which is warranted. After all, taking a break is notorious for being a bad sign in your relationship. Be it a bad sign or not, if you know how to deal with taking a break in a relationship, you both come could come back stronger than ever before.
To put your anxious mind at ease, we’d like to tell you that the minute you decided on taking a break, you already starting working on improving your relationship. It isn’t all that unheard of that breaks help you get back on track. Think of it as that long weekend vacation you’ve needed since forever, but haven’t actually been able to get around to.
After you’ve decided you need a break, comes the part where you need to make use of your time. To help you do that, we’ve compiled a list of 7 rules you need to follow while taking a break from a relationship.
7 Rules To Deal With Taking A Break In A Relationship
If you think just declaring you’re on a break and going your separate ways will do the trick, think again. You don’t want to end up screaming “we were on a break!” like Ross from ‘Friends’.
To avoid a situation like that, it’s important to communicate with your partner as much as you can before the break. You don’t want to receive or even send multiple texts and calls while you two are on your break – that won’t end up doing either of you any good.
If you don’t utilize the time in your break correctly, you might just come back wondering why your relationship troubles haven’t magically wandered away. We’ve compiled some “taking a break in a relationship rules” so you don’t come back clueless. But since every relationship is inherently different, the biggest piece of advice we can give you is to communicate with your partner, which leads us to our very first rule:
1. Talk about the break with your partner
You can’t just send your partner a “we need a break” message and then throw your phone away, expecting everything to fall into place. Before you even officially start your break, you need to tell your partner why you think you two could use one. How they take the news doesn’t necessarily matter as much as you communicating your feelings honestly.
Related reading: 9 Signs Its Time For Taking A Break In A Relationship
Have a constructive conversation with your partner about it, preferably face to face. If you’re wondering how to survive taking a break in a relationship, it can be as easy as communicating with your significant other. Clear out any misunderstandings, so you both know that you’re not broken up, just on a break. You don’t want your partner to have moved on by the time you come back!
2. Ask the important questions and plan your break
Are you both single for the duration of the break? How much communication is preferable? When will your break end? It’s important to answer all these questions before you start your taking a break from your relationship. Discuss things like exclusivity, and if you two want to sleep with other people or an open relationship. Setting a tentative time limit for your break is typically the way to go.
Breaks usually last anywhere between a couple of weeks to a couple of months. However, it’s hard to decide how much time you’ll actually need to figure out all you want to figure out. So don’t set a specific date as the end of the break, just in case you need to extend it. Put briefly, make sure you’re both on the same page about the break and what you expect out of each other.
3. Try to not send the “I miss you so much!” texts
If you’re taking a break from a long-term relationship, you might be tempted to send something along the lines of “I know we’re on a break, but I just want to be with you!”. A bit ironic, we’d say. Had you shown this much interest before, you wouldn’t have needed a break (ouch, sorry!).
Our point being, if you’re struggling to deal with taking a break in a relationship and want to immediately text your partner to check up on them, try to stop yourself. You’ll suddenly feel like you’re in love and problems are nowhere to be found. Two days after that, you’re both fighting and bickering again about that one thing you just can’t see eye to eye on.
Keep the communication during a relationship break to a minimum, or just employ the no contact rule. Check-up once or twice a week if you want but don’t video call each other every night.
Related reading: 9 Tips To Build Harmonious Relationships
4. Focus on yourself
You were probably feeling overwhelmed if you’ve needed to take a break. This means, now that you’re on one, you have more time to focus on yourself instead of trying to solve a petty fight with your partner. The more you get to know yourself and what you like to focus your energy on, the better you’ll be able to decide if your relationship is worth it for you.
Now is the time to embrace all you’ve wanted to get to but haven’t been able to. You’ll notice a change in your mood once you successfully fight off the feeling of missing your partner all the time. Your Instagram followers will likely see a change in your mood too since you’ll inevitably upload a few stories of you out with friends.
5. Be honest and don’t go off-track
What does taking a break mean to a guy? Obviously, sleeping around, right? Don’t assume anything and make sure you discuss exclusivity with your partner! You’re on a break, your social media might be flooded with single people who out of nowhere have decided to slide into your DMs. Unless you’ve both decided you can sleep around, make sure you don’t give in to temptation, and remain faithful. Getting over cheating is hard, don’t make your partner go through that.
Likewise, don’t spend your entire break hanging out with your friends trying to forget you’re in a relationship. As you’ll read on with our next point, it’s important to assess your relationship during this time. We know it’ll be hard, but you need to turn down all those people who slid into your DMs, thinking you’re newly single.
6. Think about what went wrong in your relationship
If you’re wondering how to survive a break in your relationship, you have to analyze it during this time to see exactly where things went wrong. Now that you have more time on your hands to do the things you like, you’ll have a better frame of mind to think about the problems in your relationship.
Analyze the good and the bad, and what you’d like to fix. You may be completely convinced that your relationship isn’t the best solely because of your irritating partner, but try not to be engrossed in just the negatives. It’s hard to accept, but you could be to blame as well. Think about what you might have done in the relationship that may have harmed it, and what you both can do going forward. So put on your detective hat and start solving the case of your relationship’s murder!
Related reading: 11 Things You Can Do If You Are Not Happy In A Marriage
7. Go with your gut
Whilst analyzing your relationship, it’s easy to be carried away and start overthinking about it instead. Talk to a friend, discuss what might be the best move for you. If all the reasons to end a relationship apply to you, you shouldn’t lie to yourself about the health of your relationship.
If you already know your relationship is not going to survive and you’re trying to convince yourself otherwise, you’re just delaying the inevitable. Sooner or later, the shaky foundations of your relationship will give way, only to make you regret not having gone with your gut.
How to deal with taking a break in a relationship can be as simple as taking a step back and calming yourself. Keep the contact during a relationship break to a minimum and you’ll be able to see the benefits.
You deserve love in its truest form, an unconditional love that transcends the petty “stop looking at him/her!” fights. If done right, the break will help you find whatever is best for you. Even if that means you have to end your current relationship. At the end of the day, your happiness is what’s most important.