How I realised my soul mate is none other than my best friend

Sreetama Basu
My bestfriend is my soulmate

Who actually is a soul mate? Let’s not get into dictionary meanings, because I’ve wanted to write this article for so long for that one special friend who now stays half a world away, but could never do justice to him. If I have to put it in one line, a soul mate is not somebody who would tame your wild, he is someone who would run with it. This is how I realized I have found mine, and when you read this, I am sure you are going to find uncanny resemblances to your own life in certain places.

He feels so familiar, like someone I have known all my life

Even though I’ve known him only a few years, thanks to one particular long evening, it doesn’t really feel like that. Our wavelengths match so well, that the time when I didn’t know him seems like a lifetime ago. As adults we don’t get to talk every day, but when we do, the distance just seems to vanish and all I feel is his comforting presence.

It is not every day that I talk to him

Years ago, at a mutual friend’s birthday party, I met this guy, who seemed the only person in the room I could strike a conversation with. And our hero was trying to hit on me initially (which, obviously he told me much later), so we sneaked out of the boring party. We had nowhere to go, as it was quite late at night, so we took a walk through the lanes and bylanes of our city, talking about everything under the sky. And in one of those moments, beside a complete stranger, I realized this was the person I have always been looking for, my best friend, my soulmate.

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Now we talk perhaps once a week, or sometimes not even that. That’s because we never felt the need to become a habit. All that matters is the sense of relief knowing that he is just a text away from me.

He has been my confidante in good times and bad

Contrary to what people say, you actually always find someone or the other in your bad times because that’s how human nature works.

The human mind always finds someone when in need. But lucky are the ones who find the same person beside them in both good and bad times.

I must say I’ve been lucky!

He is not the kind who remembers my birthday

Because he doesn’t even give a damn, nor do I. He won’t plan surprises on my birthday. Because he uses his heart and mind to remember more important things about me, like when I was scared of climbing stairs because I have a fear of heights, even before I started climbing, I could feel my hands held in his firm grip. And I would gather all his strength and climb up. And do I still mind if he doesn’t remember my birthday? NO.

He did not think about me while making important decisions in his life

He never did, he never will, even if it means decisions as BIG and IMPORTANT as leaving the country. And it infuriates me because he gets selfish at times. (Well, he is allowed to be).

But he will travel miles to be with me to make sure I am fine with his decision

Last-minute flight bookings, rescheduling an entire tour, flying down to me even when he doesn’t know where he is going to stay, putting the most important events of his life at risk, something as important as an IIT convocation – he will do it all just to spend a few hours with me.

Which is why I love him to bits

Do I even have any other option? After all this, I cannot help but fall for him even more. But it is not like I need a reason to love him.

But I never mind the fact that he is seeing other girls

I have actually seen him grow up, from being a total nerd to a stud. I am not even close to jealous when I see him going out with girls other than me. I just feel like a proud teacher on seeing my favorite student perform so well. Also, none of his ‘girls’ stick by him for long, because he’d start talking about physics eventually and that doesn’t go down well with most girls. At the end of the day, I know I am going to be the only permanent woman in his life, apart from his future wife, of course!

Everybody around me thinks I am dating him

Isn’t that obvious? If everybody had a similar way of thinking, my guy would not have been so special to me. Deep inside I know I will love him much more than any of the random dates I go out for.

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My dates hate him

But I have made it clear that if someone wants to date me, he has to accept the fact that this friend is always going to be the first priority in my life. I have lost dates, even the guy I really loved left me for this more than once. But I don’t mind any of it. In fact, he is the reason why I’m still single!

He is not just my world, he is home

Because calling someone your world is so mainstream. This friend is actually that small comfortable space you come home to after travelling across the whole world!

For everybody out there who thinks falling in love means commitment and relationships, this is for them.

Fall in love with your friend, your most special friend and you will never regret it ever. He will just simplify your life and you will cherish every moment spent with him!

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