Being with a jealous girlfriend can be awfully challenging. She controls you in varying degrees, depending on her mood which, by the way, can change any second. A relationship with a jealous and overprotective girlfriend means submitting to a long list of what you can and cannot do as well as giving her the controls over the dynamics of your romantic equation. That can be an extremely suffocating place to be in.
As you begin to notice the signs of a jealous girlfriend, you may be left wondering what is triggering this behaviour. Well, there can be varied reasons for it.
Women have an inherent instinct to protect and nurture. It is this quality that allows a woman to care for her child and family, and build a home that is a safe haven for everyone who lives there. However, some women channelize this instinct into their relationships as well. And the line between protectiveness and being overprotective gets blurred easily. Often times, overprotective and jealous behavior can also be a manifestation of underlying insecurity issues too.
A man in a relationship with an overprotective girlfriend may feel he is dealing with his mom, all over again, and has no independence to live life on his own terms.
At first, you may let these worrying signs slide thinking that her obsessive behavior is just her way of showing that she cares and loves you. However, putting up with an overly attached girlfriend can become too much to take on in the long run. Nagging and suspicion become common features in your life, and that can be detrimental to your relationship as well as your mental well-being.
15 Signs Of An Overprotective and Jealous Girlfriend
Being with a partner who operates from a place of jealousy can in no way be a pleasant experience for you. Over time, it can leave you feeling like you have no room to breathe. You’re stressed when you’re around her because an overly attached girlfriend exhibits clingy tendencies and takes being overprotective in a relationship to the next level. And you’re stressed when you’re away from her because you know you will be questioned and prodded for a detailed account of every minute spent apart.
Overprotective girlfriends want to exert control on their partner’s life depending on their degree of obsessiveness. They are mostly unpredictable and keep changing the rules of what’s acceptable in the relationship and what’s not, as per their own whims and fancies. To deal with a jealous girlfriend, you first need to identify one. Here 15 telltale signs of a jealous girlfriend:
1. You are living on deadlines
A jealous girlfriend who is also crazy protective, would always expect you to honor your word and stick to deadlines. If you said you will be home by 9 pm, you have to make sure you are there on the dot. A 15-minute delay can cause her mental distress, make her act like a crazy wife and you will find yourself at the receiving end of the fall-out.
God forbid, you forget to inform her about the delay! All hell will break loose and you’ll spend the next few days trying to convince her that you’re not sleeping around behind her back.
2. A jealous girlfriend will constantly text or call
One of the classic signs of a jealous girlfriend is clingy behavior. She will call you and double text you incessantly for as long as you’re apart. You’re expected to return the favor. It doesn’t matter how busy you are. You may be in a meeting, driving, treating yourself to a quiet lunch alone, but when that phone buzzes, you have to respond. Because if you don’t, her insecurities will go into overdrive.
And you will know the true meaning of the words — hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So there’s really nothing you can do other than just giving in. Even if that means walking out of a meeting to pick up her call only to hear her talk about how much she enjoyed her morning bagel.
Related Reading: Here’s How Being Clingy In A Relationship Can Sabotage It
3. She suspects you of cheating
A jealous girlfriend cannot shake off that lingering doubt that you’re cheating on her. Know that it’s not you, it’s her just being overprotective in a relationship. Another reason behind this tendency is her own insecurity that makes her assume that the time you spend apart from her involved you cheating on her with another woman.
This insecurity may stem from unpleasant experiences in her past relationships and the fear of losing you. That being said, it’s not easy to deal with a jealous girlfriend and her constant accusations.
4. A possessive girlfriend checks your phone and computer
Since she always suspects you of having an affair, she misses no opportunity to snoop around — from checking your phone to scrutinizing your texts and calls and rummaging through your laptop or personal computer. She will secretly invade your privacy and then take whatever she finds out of context as proof of your guilt.
She is clearly a possessive girlfriend and a passionate one at that. For instance, a simple polite chat with a female co-worker is enough to convince her that you have a thing going on on the side. She will demand you share your passwords with her. If you refuse, she may accuse you of keeping secrets and throw a tantrum.
5. She stalks your social media often
You know you are dealing with an overprotective girlfriend if stalking your social media profiles is her favorite pass time. She takes note of every new post and every comment or reaction on it, and then, grills you if any activity is inappropriate as per her standards.
Needless to say, any interaction with a woman friend means trouble. Sometimes, she may stretch things a bit too far and delete the posts or comments she doesn’t approve of. This is how social media can ruin your relationship. Of course, this will also leave you feeling like you have no control over your life.
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6. Being with a jealous girlfriend feels like an interrogation
An overly attached girlfriend may have a compelling need to be in the know of each and every aspect of your life. That’s why she constantly feels that you are hiding something. If she asks you a question, she won’t be easily satisfied with the answer – because she has already made up the ‘right answer’ in her mind. This always leaves you with the dilemma, “What to say to a jealous girlfriend to make her believe you?”
In her attempt to get to her version of ‘truth’, she will ask the same questions in different ways and even on different occasions. Her idea is to confuse you and get you to change your statements. When that happens, deciphering how to deal with an overprotective girlfriend can become a mind-numbing exercise in patience and control over your own emotions.
Related Reading: Why Is The Indian Man Always Scared For His Girlfriend Or Wife?
7. You cannot hang out with your buddies
A guy’s night is totally off-limits when you have a jealous girlfriend. She feels this is just an excuse for cheap thrills and sleazy sex. Even if she knows your friends well, she would still label them as lechers. Even if you try to pressure her or ‘put your foot down’, she will either tag along or ‘accidentally’ bump into you, defeating the very purpose of your plan. This kind of behavior can cost you your friends and other social activity that you generally enjoy.
8. Having a woman friend is out of the question when you’ve got a possessive girlfriend
Is a jealous girlfriend toxic? Well, she sure can be when she starts making your decisions for you. You should have seen this coming, now that you have an overly attached girlfriend. She cannot bear the thought of you hanging out with other women, let alone be friends with one. She may be nice to other women to their faces, but will definitely accuse you of cheating when you two are alone.
Without a thought, she will label any other woman in your life as a ‘man-snatcher’, making it impossible to talk to a co-worker, friend or even a cousin. In this way, she will exercise immense control over you.
9. A jealous girlfriend wants to be your top priority
She has to be your first priority and demands that your life revolves around her. A jealous girlfriend will let no opportunity slide to tell you how much she has sacrificed for this relationship. She will keep score and make you feel that you owe every good thing in your life to her. And so, your relationship with her has to be a priority, always. A jealous girlfriend can not only not tolerate your friends but also your family. Being with her means your circle of special people will shrink continually. She only wants you to show affection to her the most.
Related Reading: 12 Signs Of Unconditional Love In A Relationship
10. What makes a girlfriend jealous? You cannot talk about other women in front of her
Not only can you not meet, hang out or be friends with women, but also cannot mention another woman in front of her. A casual remark about how a co-worker nailed a presentation at work or sharing an anecdote about a childhood friend is enough to get her tempers soaring. If you inadvertently compare her to another woman, you’re in for a world of trouble. Be prepared to face the brunt of your actions for many days, or weeks, to follow.
11. An overprotective girlfriend eavesdrops on your conversations
The concept of privacy and personal space is alien to your overprotective girlfriend. She insists on knowing the details of every conversation you have with your friends, family or co-workers. If you are on the phone, she will stick around to listen. If she cannot get a sense of what you’re talking about, she throws a barrage of questions at you afterwards. She will demand to know what you said, what the other person said, and what the conversation was about.
Related Reading: 8 Things To Do If Your Girlfriend Is Ignoring You
12. The jealous girlfriend constantly wants attention
Given than being jealous and insecure are so closely linked, your overly attached girlfriend will display classic attention-seeking behavior. If you’re going out somewhere, she will ask you how she looks a dozen times. She will go shopping frequently and try to imitate anyone she feels you like. She will ask you to prove your affection to her again and again. If you don’t comply, be prepared for some bad meltdowns.
Sometimes with a woman like this, it’s useless to even think about what makes a girlfriend jealous because no matter what you do, she will find a reason to be upset with you. Her own insecurity issues are so deep seated that she often finds faults in the way you treat her.
13. She may swing by to check on you at your workplace
One of the telltale signs of a jealous girlfriend is her penchant for carrying out surprise checks on you. She will drop by at your workplace claiming that she was in the area and thought of having a coffee with you. But her real motive is to make sure you are in the office by yourself. She will scrutinize your colleagues, and try to sniff around and check if you have any office romances.
A jealous girlfriend will question you about your female colleagues and will not like anyone you work with.
14. A jealous girlfriend won’t hesitate to pick fights in public
Given the unpredictability of her behavior patterns, a jealous girlfriend may get upset with you at the slightest — or no — provocation. So the answer to “Is a jealous girlfriend toxic?”, is a big yes.
When that happens, she won’t hesitate in throwing a hissy fit or picking an ugly fight even in public. During such a spat, she may even try to put words in your mouth by trapping you in questions like, “Do you find her pretty?” or “Was she looking good?” No matter what you say, the fight will spiral out of control as she continues to act like a possessive girlfriend.
15. A jealous girlfriend doesn’t trust you and binds you in an overprotective relationship
An insecure, obsessive woman does not know how to trust anyone. You’re probably already dealing with the issue of “my girlfriend is jealous of my ex” ever since she realized you’ve been keeping in touch with your exes.
Her insecurities leave her riddled with trust issues, which start impacting your relationship over time. No matter how hard you try to prove your trustworthiness, she just cannot rest assured. Eventually, this lack of trust will begin to eat away at the foundation of your relationship and drive a wedge between you two.
Is being overprotective good in a relationship? These signs of a jealous girlfriend make it clear that such negative emotions do not have any place in any healthy relationship. Over time, you will feel choked and suffocated. Your relationship will make you both miserable.
The best way to handle this situation and deal with this overprotective relationship is by having an honest conversation with your girlfriend about how her jealous tendencies make you feel. If she doesn’t correct course despite that, walk away, keeping your dignity and peace of mind intact.