More often than not, falling in love with your best friend is way better than meeting a complete stranger and developing feelings for them. When you fall in love or begin to date, you want to commit to someone who trusts and respects you. You and your best friend already know and understand each other well. You can be your absolute embarrassing and flawless self when you’re around them and be assured that they will still love you the same.
Isn’t that the expectation you have from your best friend and partner? Someone who will understand why you do what you do, instead of asking for explanations. Finding someone who accepts and loves us for who we are is a rare gift. However, lines tend to get blurred and the situation tricky if you end up falling for your best friend. It’s important to understand whether what you feel for your best friend is platonic or true love.
What To Do If You Are Falling In Love With Your Best Friend?
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“I love my best friend.” “I have feelings for my best friend.” Are your mind and heart clouded with such thoughts or feelings? Well, if they are, allow us to help you. Falling in love with your best friend is possible and it’s not a bad idea at all, to be honest. It’s great, in fact. The best love stories usually start with a strong friendship.
Christine always dreamt of a fairytale marriage with a tall, dark handsome man ten years her senior, straight off the pages of a romantic novel. Instead, she fell in love with her best friend from her school days, the guy who first came up to talk to her in Class X, asking for her notes. Jacob was the only one she could shout, rave and rant to. She watched her first porn film with him. He would never judge her. He was her best buddy and Christine never felt the need to hide anything from Jacob or hesitate to discuss a taboo subject with him.
Not a bad idea at all, we think. Best friends know each other inside out and trust and respect each other. There couldn’t be a more ideal match. However, it can turn into a risky situation if the feelings are one-sided because you stand the chance of losing your best friend forever. Therefore, we’ve listed 3 ways to help you deal with your “what to do when you fall in love with your best friend” dilemma.
1. Evaluate your feelings
This is the first and most important thing to do when you realize you are falling for your best friend. You need to understand what you are going through – whether it’s romantic or platonic love. You need to figure out if it’s signs of an infatuation, a strong affection toward your best friend or true love. Have you begun to care about your best friend more than anything or anyone else in the world? Does their happiness matter the most to you? You could also be experiencing a strong physical attraction, which is making you imagine intimate moments with them. All we are saying is, understand your feelings first before acting upon them.
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2. Make a decision
Once you’ve understood and analyzed your feelings and are sure that you are falling for your best friend, you’ll have to decide whether or not you want to tell them about your feelings. Now, this can be a difficult decision to make since you run the risk of losing your best friend, if they don’t feel the same way for you. However, there is a way to help you arrive at a decision.
Actions speak louder than words. When you’re wrestling with a dilemma over whether or not to fess up your feelings to your best friend, it’s best to notice their body language before making a decision. You’ve been friends with this person for a while now, maybe your whole life, which is why you should be able to read their body language with a fair degree of certainty. Does your best friend treat you differently than their other friends? Do they care about you more than their other friends? Observe whether the friendship has developed into something romantic for your best friend, consider all the possible scenarios and then make a decision.
3. Stick to your decision
Once you’ve decided whether or not you want to tell your best friend about your feelings, stick to that decision. Accept whatever the outcome is. If your best friend also feels the same, then you’ve hit the jackpot. If not, try to keep the friendship intact. It may get awkward for a while but having a conversation about it might just help sort things out.
Take steps to get over your feelings. We understand it’s easier said than done but it’s important that you do it for your own well-being and for the sake of your friendship. Spend less time with your best friend for a while, practice your favorite hobby, engage in physical activities, focus on work or keep a journal – do whatever you can to get over your feelings for your best friend.
Falling in love with your best friend can be a difficult and tricky situation to be in because you don’t know if the feelings are mutual or one-sided. Also, the possibility of the relationship getting complicated is quite high. It might be a good idea to confide in a close friend for some unbiased perspective.
Signs You Are In Love With Your Best Friend
Christine was a love-struck teenager, hotly pursued by boys in all forms, shapes and sizes. But after a series of breakups, she found herself falling for her best friend and eventually marrying a man who knew her inside out. She knows now what a blessing it is to have your best friend as your partner for life.
If questions like “do I love my best friend?” or “do I have feelings for my best friend?” are still on your mind, allow us to help you. Do you want to spend all your time with your best friend? Are you willing to go the extra mile for them just to make them smile? Are they the first person you call when something good or bad happens? Do you daydream about them? Have you begun to imagine a future with them? Well, if the answer to all these questions is a resounding yes, then, my friend, you’ve begun moving from friends to lovers. It’s a clear sign that you are falling in love with your best friend.
It’s quite difficult to point out differences between romantic and platonic relationships because one tends to have elements of the other. It’s often said that a deep friendship forms a strong foundation of a relationship. So, if you think you are falling for your best guy friend or female friend, here are 5 signs that can help you understand your feelings.
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1. You care about their happiness more than you do for other friends
Do you go out of your comfort zone to see a smile on your best friend’s face? Are you willing to go the extra mile and more just to see them happy? One phone call or text from them and you drop everything to be with them in their time of need. You wouldn’t mind making a fool of yourself or eating food you absolutely hate or listening to a band you’re not fond of just because your best friend loves it.
In short, you are always eager to do your best when it comes to your best friend. Whether they need a ride home in the wee hours of the morning, have crazy hunger pangs in the dead of the night, need money, want to watch a movie you don’t like, you’re willing to do it all just to see them smile. You’re constantly thinking of ways to make them happy. If their happiness is more important to you than your own, you’re probably falling in love with your best friend.
2. You daydream about them all the time
This is a sure-shot sign of you falling for your best friend. If you find yourself thinking or daydreaming about this special person all the time, you’re probably in love. If the thought of them makes you feel lightheaded and brings a smile to your face and if you feel butterflies in your stomach imagining romantic moments with them, you’re in love, my friend.
They are on your mind 24×7. They are the first person you think of when you wake up and the last person on your mind when you go to sleep. You begin to dream about a life with them. If they are all you can think of at work or when you’re out with a friend or doing anything that’s not related to them, it’s a sign you’re falling in love with your best friend.
3. You feel jealous seeing them with someone else
Do I love my best friend? Do I have feelings for my best friend? Well, if you’re asking yourself such questions, notice if you get jealous upon seeing them with someone else. Does it hurt to see your best friend flirt or go on a date with someone else? Do you feel irritated or uncomfortable seeing them give extra attention to someone else? If so, then you’re probably in love.
You may find yourself reacting negatively to any person your best friend is romantically interested in. You feel jealous of every person they want to date. It doesn’t matter how amazing their date was, you struggle to find anything positive to say about them. When your best friend asks for your opinion on a person they may be interested in, you make it a point to tell them why they’re not right for each other.
It did not occur to Christine that Jacob was in love with her. Despite their intimate bond, he chose to stay silent as she dealt with her share of heartbreaks, running to him only for succor. Even now that he is her husband, Christine confides in him if she finds another man attractive or develops a fleeting crush on someone. She has never kept any secrets from Jacob. She has even invited men she likes for a cup of tea. He may be jealous at times but is confident that she will always stick by him.
4. You want to spend more time with them
This one is again a sure shot sign that you’re falling in love with your best guy friend or girl friend. All you want is to spend more time with them. You want to be with them all the time. You can’t wait to see them. You hate being apart from them. You miss them when they’re not around. You make excuses to see or meet them. You recall the happy moments spent with them when apart.
Waiting for that dinner feels like torture. You meet with other friends but all you want and crave is time with this special person. Every moment with them is precious. When you are in love, you yearn for them and want to be physically close to them. They become more important than other things and people in life. You feel like a part of you is missing when your best friend isn’t around.
Related Reading: 15 Tips To Cope When Your Friend Is Dating Your Ex
5. You try to look your best when they’re around
Do you make a conscious effort to dress up when you know you’re going to meet your best friend? Do you want to look your best when you meet your best friend? Do you spend extra time on your appearance because you know they will be around? If the answer to all these questions is a yes, then you’re probably falling in love with your best friend.
When you are in love, you want to look your best and stand out for this special person. You take into consideration their likes and preferences when you dress up every morning. You crave their attention and validation. A compliment from them is enough to make you smile and get through the day.
Falling in love gives one immense joy but falling in love with your best friend is the ultimate lottery you could dream of. You’ve known each other for years and understand each other better than anyone else. Finding someone who you can rely on, share your problems with, who accepts and appreciates you just the way you are, and respects you, is one of the greatest blessings of life. If you feel like you’re falling for your best friend, these signs can help you be sure about those feelings.
All said and done, a friend-turned-spouse can be surprisingly forgetful. When Christine sees her friends flaunting their solitaires or iPhones or even cars as birthday or anniversary gifts from their loving, caring, conventional husbands who are much older than them, she can’t help but compare them to Jacob who always forgets their anniversary.
Every year, they dig out their marriage certificate to find out who is right about the date. In school, Jacob gifted her Gone with the Wind on her birthday. Now, he buys her Tintin, Asterix, or Agatha Christie, books that he and their son would love to read. But Christine doesn’t mind.
Christine loves her best friend. For her and Jacob, marriage is a journey that began when they were best buddies, school mates. And yet, the flame between them is still alive. Every day is a celebration. Change is inevitable, and adapting to it is a necessity, but life becomes beautiful and easier when you have a companion by your side. A mate with whom you can share almost anything under the sun.
Yes. It is absolutely normal to fall in love with your best friend. In fact, friendship is the foundation of a strong relationship. It doesn’t happen with everyone but there is definitely a possibility.
It is a good idea to fall in love with your best friend because you’ve known each other for years. There’s already a great level of trust, respect and understanding between both parties. You can read each other’s moods and minds and are each other’s confidants.
You feel butterflies in your stomach. You freak out a little bit maybe because you’ve never felt this way about anyone else. Falling in love with your best friend is something you probably didn’t expect at all. There’s a sense of calm and happiness at having fallen for someone you’ve known for years.