If your relationship has fallen off course and you find yourself contemplating going ahead with an affair, knowing how to not get caught cheating can help you avoid that scary confrontation conversation. What your significant other doesn’t know can’t hurt them, right?
Perhaps you’ve already indulged, and now you’re worried about the storm that’s going to brew if your partner were ever to find out. It’s a source of great anxiety, the kind that’s going to make you fess up even if your partner asks a simple “What’s wrong?” because you’re so jittery all the time.
First things first, calm yourself down. Though you can’t be sure that your partner will never find out, you can get very close to making sure what you did in the dark will never come to light. Let’s take a look at how to not get caught cheating.
Before You Figure Out How Not To Get Caught Cheating, Assess Your Relationship
If you haven’t already cheated on your partner, it might do you some good to reconsider why you wish to go down this path. In most cases, cheating is an activity that helps no one in the long run and may even cause lasting trust issues in your partner since they’ll find it difficult to be vulnerable with you or any future partners after being cheated on.
According to studies, infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce, which goes to show that it’s not the answer when you feel “trapped” or “suffocated” in your relationship. In most cases, the things that are affecting your relationship can be ironed out with healthy communication or even couples’ therapy.
Taking such a drastic step that could potentially end your primary relationship isn’t advisable, especially since you can always end your primary relationship before finding new partners. Other cons of cheating include losing the respect of your friends and family if society were to find out about your indiscretions.
If you’re wondering how to not get caught cheating, the best way is to not cheat at all. With that being said, the decision is ultimately yours to make. If you do wish to go ahead with it, make sure you keep the following tips in mind.
How Not To Get Caught Cheating? 11 Vital Tips
“While I’d advise against it, it’s definitely possible to cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend and not get caught. I know of someone who’s in a childhood sweetheart situation with their partner, and they’ve been together for about a decade and a half now.
“He’d often complain about his lackluster sex life, and eventually started sleeping around while being in the relationship. His secret to never getting caught? Showing no remorse and only ever having one-night stands, not affairs,” a Reddit user told us.
How not to get caught cheating is not usually something people think about, and that’s exactly why they fail to cover their tracks. Now that you’ve found yourself reading this article, let’s take a look at all you need to keep in mind:
Related Reading: 9 Reasons Cheating Husbands Stay Married
1. Use a different phone
Is it possible to cheat and not get caught? If you’re careful enough to get an entirely separate phone, it may very well be. No, we don’t want to make you feel like you’re running away from the FBI, and no, we’re not being overdramatic by asking you to use a separate phone.
According to a survey, one in four women and one in five men admitted to snooping on their partner’s phone. According to a different survey, the most common way of a cheating partner being caught was when their partner read their text messages.
Buy another phone, keep it a secret or call it a work phone and make sure to put a lock on it. If you’re callous in your approach and leave dating apps installed on your primary phone, your infidelity days are going to be over before they start.
2. Control the cheater’s guilt
It sounds like a given once you’ve decided that you’re going to cheat, doesn’t it? But when the guilt and anxiety start brimming up, you realize that it’s not the easiest thing to deal with. According to a survey of people who admitted their infidelity to their partners, around 47% said they did so because of guilt.
A Reddit user told us how not being able to manage guilt is one of the most common ways cheaters get caught. “Every one of my friends who got caught cheating did so because they started buying their partner’s extravagant gifts and changed their behavior drastically. Of course, that led to suspicion and an admission of guilt.
“I never planned on it, but when I ended up cheating on my partner, I made sure I controlled the guilt I was feeling. I acted normal and convinced myself that I didn’t cheat in the first place. In a way, I gaslighted myself into thinking I did nothing wrong.”
Do what you may, but make sure you don’t end up getting caught in the cheater’s guilt. It’s one of the most common ways cheaters get caught, and it’s one of the easiest things to avoid.
3. Remove all traces of your sexcapades
How not to get caught cheating really just revolves around how careful you are with your transgressions. If you are using your primary phone to find your next affair, make sure you cover all your tracks. Have a lock on your phone, and delete any and all evidence of your cheating ways.
That includes emails, texts, call logs or even apps installed – the whole nine yards. If you’re wondering how you can cheat on your boyfriend and not get caught, it’s by giving him nothing to find in the first place.
4. Hide all the physical evidence
As you grow more confident with your affairs, you might just find yourself forgetting to cover up that hickey you got. Amateur mistake. First of all, make sure you set a rule of no hickeys with your lover. Next, wash any clothes that may still have a lingering scent on them, and clean any lipstick stains.
Likewise, if you developed any marks or sustained injuries during sex, make up a good enough excuse for them. Is it possible to cheat and not get caught? It very well is, but you’ve got to be a bit creative when you’re explaining why you smell like lavender when you’ve never used a perfume of the sort in your life.
Related Reading: An Expert Tells Us What Goes In The Mind Of A Cheating Man
5. Don’t tell ANYONE about your unfaithfulness
Your best friends, colleagues, internet friends, close family, random strangers, or anyone around you shouldn’t have any idea about your extramarital affairs. If a bunch of people know about it, you’ve got a bunch of loose ends to fix. Keep it between just you and your secret lover, and preferably, don’t give that person too much personal information about yourself either.
We know, it sounds like you’re making the most illegal deal in the universe and we’re asking you to wear fake fingerprints or something. Trust us, when you’re trying to figure out how not to get caught cheating, you can never be too careful. Friends rat out on friends more often than you know.
6. Don’t hook up with anyone in your proximity
That means no affairs at work or with anyone your spouse might know of. “Rule of thumb, only and only cheat with people miles away from where you live, and your partner should have no idea of their existence,” suggests a Reddit user.
Paula, a 34-year-old bartender, explains how her infidelity ruined her marriage because she couldn’t hide it. “My job presents multiple opportunities for a bit of fun. I could cheat on my husband with my colleagues without him ever getting a clue until he decided to show up at one of the employee parties.
“The person I used to hook up with at work came in about an hour after my husband and immediately came in to kiss me. He didn’t even know I was married. Let’s just say I used to cheat on my husband since our marriage didn’t last too long after that.”
7. Don’t communicate with your secret lover all the time
According to a poll of 11,000 users of an extramarital dating site, around 64% of people sexted their lovers while their spouse was in the same room as them. We know it’s exciting, but definitely don’t do that if getting caught is not on your “to-do” list.
As we mentioned, how not to get caught cheating depends largely on how careful you are with it. Talk to your secret lover only when you’re not around your partner, or through other channels of communication like emails.
8. Practice safe sex
According to a survey of people who confessed to their cheating, around 11% did so because they feared they might have an STD. Don’t let the thrill of it all get the better of you, make sure you still use your common sense and practice safe sex.
An unassuming rash might be enough of a tell. What’s worse, you run the risk of infecting your primary partner. By making sure you have safe sex, you can avoid unwanted pregnancies and STDs.
Related Reading: 8 Reasons Why Women Have Extramarital Affairs
9. Don’t leave a financial trail
Wondering how to cheat on your girlfriend (or boyfriend) and get away with it? Just like we see in all those drug lord movies, make sure you pay for everything in cash. “Why does your bank’s statement say you checked into this hotel the night you said you were at your brother’s place?”
A simple question like that can be enough to send you into a panic, leaving you to figure out how to fix a relationship after cheating. Expensive hotels, expensive gifts, or any other kind of purchase must be made in ways that don’t leave a trail.
10. Don’t overlook your browsing history
Somewhere down the line, you’re going to leave your phone or your laptop unattended and there is a good chance your partner might go through it. In preparation for such an event, make sure you’ve already cleared your browsing history.
However, make sure you don’t delete all of it. That screams out that you’re hiding something, and no one ever deletes their entire history all the time. Just get rid of the activities that may suggest infidelity, and that’s how not to get caught cheating.
11. Handle your partner’s suspicion with care
“If you want to figure out how to cheat on your girlfriend and get away with it, make sure you don’t disregard or laugh off their suspicion,” says Andrew, a reader from Wisconsin. “My girlfriend spoke out about her suspicion of me cheating, and I made sure I didn’t react unfavorably.
“Instead of laughing or getting angry at her, I validated her displeasure and asked her why she felt that way. I assured her that there was nothing to worry about and expressed how bad I felt that she got the chance to feel that way, and apologized sincerely. Just like that, she never suspected anything again.”
A confrontation of the sort is probably on the cards for you as well, and how you deal with it can make or break everything. The secret to how not to get caught cheating is to sell the lie as convincingly as possible without ever stuttering about the details.
Even though you now know how to not get caught cheating, we hope you don’t end up relying on these methods for the foreseeable future. Honesty and communication are what’s going to set you free, and no one deserves to be cheated on. Till then, we hope these tips help you keep things under wraps.
Yes, if you cover your tracks just right, it’s possible to cheat and not get caught. Keep a burner phone for all infidelity-related communication and make sure you hide all physical evidence as well, at the very least.
By making sure you don’t cheat with someone who is close to you and your partner and being on top of all loose ends, you can definitely keep cheating a secret. It’s going to require attention and might cause a little anxiety – but that’s the price you have to pay.
According to DailyMail, 95% of women and 83% of men in the people surveyed have cheated on their partners but never been found out. Once you take all the right steps, it’s possible to hide your infidelity from your partner very efficiently.