Dreams About Spouse Cheating — What They Mean And What You Can Do

Affair and Cheating | |
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The thought of being betrayed by your life partner is stress-inducing. These dreams about spouse cheating on you can make you wonder if they are unfaithful in real life as well. The deep fear has now started following you in your dreams which has made it harder for you to sleep peacefully. It may raise a lot of concerns and may even disrupt your sanity. Those who have lived through cheating dreams would know that the emotions you experience during this time are no less agonizing than actual infidelity.

Dreams about your partner cheating on you are not unusual. But it’s worse when you see such dreams and let insecurities and suspicions creep into your married life. As per a study, dreams about infidelity, jealousy and other ‘bad’ relationship behavior were associated with greater relationship conflict and reduced intimacy in subsequent days. So, on one hand, you are feeling guilty and on the other, you wonder if these dreams have any symbolic meanings behind them.

You don’t need to be filled with a sense of impending doom. Paying attention to this pattern and the dream content might help you gain insights into any unresolved feelings or ongoing worry or tension in the relationship. For authentic dream interpretation, we reached out to astrologist Nishi Ahlawat. She says, “Let’s clarify one thing first. When you dream about your partner cheating on you, it doesn’t mean they are unfaithful to you in real life as well.”

Why Does One Dream About Spouse Cheating?

“Why do I keep dreaming my husband is cheating on me?” “Is my wife cheating on me for real if that’s the dream I see every day?” — Such are the fears of our readers. You’re not alone. One survey claims that one in four Americans have had a dream about cheating on their partner or being cheated on by their spouse. Dreams are a sequence of images and jumbled-up scenarios that we see when we are asleep. Some stem from our desires, whereas a dream of husband cheating on you with someone specific might have birthed from your insecurities or low self-worth.

Nishi says, “Dreams aren’t synonymous to reality. They aren’t predictions either. That’s what I tell people when they come to me with questions like: ‘What does it mean when you dream about your boyfriend cheating on you twice?’ We can confidently say that these dreams are a reflection of our phobias and fears. Most of the time, we dream about the things we are battling in our waking life.” Here are some possible reasons that you’ve been seeing such heartbreaking and daunting visions: 

1. You have deep-rooted trust issues in general

This is one of the most common culprits behind seeing dreams about spouse cheating on you. You have trust issues and this has nothing to do with your spouse. You are struggling to trust them despite them being loyal. Or perhaps they recently gave you reasons to doubt their intentions and even though they are faithful, your general trust issues have cropped up anew. So the uncertainties and negative thoughts in your subconscious mind give you a dream of wife cheating on you or of your husband having an affair.

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2. Past infidelity of the spouse is still haunting you

One obvious way of explaining this vision is that you come from a background of dealing with a cheating partner and you haven’t completely healed from the trauma of past infidelity yet. Whether it was a former lover who betrayed your trust or the current partner, it’s very evident that you don’t feel secure about the strength of your relationship.

“When you frequently dream about your husband cheating, it could mean your spouse cheated on you before and you gave them another chance. You’re afraid it’ll happen again. Or perhaps a past partner cheated on you and you still aren’t over it,” says Nishi.

Related Reading: 7 Tips To Forgive A Cheating Boyfriend

3. Something is wrong in your relationship if you continue to dream about your spouse’s infidelity

If something feels off between you two and the foundation of your current relationship is shaky, it may lead you to dream of a partner being unfaithful. These dreams are basically metaphors or symbols for your own feelings and conflicts in real life. The underlying issues in your marriage could be resurfacing in the form of cheating spouse dreams, whether you are consciously aware of them or they are bothering you subconsciously.

Talking of relationship problems, it could be something like your spouse having no free time because they are always working and it makes you feel neglected. Or you may have more disturbing issues such as an unsatisfactory sex life, lack of emotional connection, or unfulfilled needs in the marriage.

4. You are feeling betrayed in other aspects of your life

Betrayal isn’t limited to romantic relationships. You can be betrayed by your friends, family, colleagues, and business partners as well. If you are constantly dreaming about being cheated on, there is a possibility that you have experienced actual cheating in life by someone other than your spouse. So when you get dreams about cheating and divorce, you are simply projecting those feelings of betrayal onto your partner. In that case, you need to find out how to survive betrayal that isn’t from your romantic partner.

5. There is a lack of communication in your marriage

When there is a big communication gap between you and your spouse, the untold complications in the marriage might manifest as a painful dream of wife cheating on you, or your husband leaving you for someone else. You don’t talk to your partner regarding the mental hurdles you are facing and they get piled up over time.

Nishi says, “Lack of good communication weakens a relationship. Dreams of spouse cheating on you could indicate that you and your partner need to have an honest conversation about your thoughts and feelings openly and acquire a problem-solving approach toward resolving conflicts in a marriage.” 

Is My Partner Cheating On Me?

6. You are processing new life changes

Some big changes are taking place in your life. You are either moving to a new city or starting a new job. You’ve lost a good friend over a fight or you got diagnosed with something unexpected. When there is a big change happening in one’s life, we often tend to feel more anxious and worried. This anxiousness is taking place in the form of betrayal in the dreams.

7. Bad dreams about spouse cheating on you may indicate a fear of abandonment

I have seen people being in a perfectly loving relationship and still fretting about their partner’s emotional investment and commitment toward them. Perhaps their partner makes them feel seen, like a special someone, but no amount of reassurance seems to be enough. They simply don’t know how not to be jealous, so they end up feeling unloved.

Coming from a place of low self-confidence, it makes sense that you have frequent dreams about cheating and divorce. Or should we say nightmares? They certainly reflect insecurities fostered in your mind for years and have nothing to do with your spouse cheating on you.

dream of wife cheating
You are afraid your partner might leave you for someone else and that’s reflected in your dreams

8. Your intuition is at work

When you have a dream of partner kissing another person, nine times out of ten they are innocent in real life. But there’s still a slight possibility of them actually being unfaithful. Even though there’s no substantial evidence, cheating guilt signs are hard to suppress. If you are oblivious to your partner’s dishonest behavior, your gut is probably trying to make you aware of the situation through a cinematic series of cheating spouse dreams.

Common Dreams About Spouse Cheating And What They Mean 

Nishi says, “Dreams about spouse cheating or you cheating on your partner can feel inappropriate even though they are not in your hands. However, they don’t mean that you have the desire to cheat on your spouse or your spouse has been unfaithful to you. You have to look at the details of the dream and the person your spouse has dream-cheated on you with.” Let’s take a look at some of the most common dreams about infidelity and what they mean for a married couple:

Related Reading: How To Heal After Being Cheated On And Stay Together

1. Dreams about partner cheating on you with his ex

Sam, a 36-year-old homemaker from Boston, writes to us, “Why do I keep having a recurrent dream of husband cheating on me with his ex? He says he has moved on and is happy with me. I said I believed him, but my dreams are making me anxious. I feel guilty for suspecting him of not moving on. I don’t know what to do. Is this a sign he is still in love with his ex?”

Here are some questions our resident astrologist, Nishi, wants you to answer before you confirm that your spouse is cheating on you with their ex:

  • Are they still in touch with each other?
  • Does your partner often compare you with them?
  • Did you catch your spouse looking at their pictures or discover any hidden messages on their phone?
  • Did someone you know spot them together, even if it was for a platonic lunch that you didn’t know about?

Nishi adds, “This is one of the most common infidelity dreams. If you have answered yes to the above questions, then there are chances your partner still misses their ex. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are having an affair. But one thing is for sure, they aren’t over their ex yet. On the other hand, if you answered no to those questions, then you have nothing to worry about. They have moved on but you do want more affection from them. Perhaps there is a lack of intimacy in the relationship.”

Furthermore, it could signify that you are jealous of your partner’s ex. They have something you don’t. That’s why you want more reassurance from your spouse in order for you to feel loved, safe, and secure in your marriage. You both need to sit down and have an open communication about the way you would like to be assured of their love and hopefully, all will be well soon.

Stories about dreams

2. Dreams about partner cheating on you with your best friend

Dreams can really worry the life out of you sometimes and this one is especially a stinker, isn’t it? Dreaming about betrayal from two people you love and trust the most makes you feel like you’ve been abandoned in a desert. Don’t worry. This doesn’t infer betrayal from either your partner or your best friend because dreams often reveal hopes and fears.

Now, which is it? Are you hoping he will cheat so you have an excuse to leave him? Or are you afraid he will cheat because you are insecure in your relationship? Nishi says, “This dream majorly reflects your fears and insecurities. You either fear your spouse is going to cheat on you with someone or you are insecure about yourself.”

You think you are not good-looking or wealthy enough to keep your partner happy. You have a deep-seated fear that you will lose your partner to someone else because of your shortcomings. Whatever your insecurity is, you need to work it out before you ruin a good relationship. Here are some ways to develop a secure relationship and build your self-esteem:

  • Affirm your own value. Tell yourself you are good at what you do (personally and professionally)
  • Treat yourself once in a while. Have a good meal, shop for yourself, get a massage 
  • Practice self-compassion and be nice to yourself
  • Don’t let negative thoughts like feeling cheated indicate your nature and essence. Challenge those thoughts by fighting back and saying good things about yourself 
  • Avoid meeting those who mock or criticize you. Be with those who uplift you and motivate you to do better in life 

3. Dreams of spouse cheating with a stranger 

There are two people in your dreams. One you know, love, and adore, whereas you are clueless about this other person your partner is making love with. You are distressed upon waking up. You don’t know if those dreams have any symbolic meaning or represent the future. Nishi addresses your fears like this: “When you dream about your partner cheating on you with a stranger, it means you think that they don’t value your relationship or there is a lack of respect in the relationship

“Whether or not this is true is a debate for another day. For now, you are filled with this negative feeling that you and your partner are not on the same page in this marriage.” If you feel like your spouse has been working a lot more than usual, giving too much time to their folks, or spending a lot of time playing online games, then this is one of the common reasons you are experiencing such dreams.

Try to spend more quality time with your partner and this issue will be resolved gradually. Go on dinner dates. Take a short vacation. Bring the spark back in your sexual relationship. Praise and compliment each other often. 

Related Reading: 10 Important Components Of Trust In A Relationship

4. Dreams of your spouse cheating with someone you are close to 

Joanna, a painter from Chicago, says, “I had a dream that my husband cheated on me with my mom. It’s really bothering me. My mother recently divorced my father and runs her own boutique. I meet her often but since the time I’ve had this dream, I have kept my distance. I don’t know how to look at her. This isn’t the fist time. Happened to me in high school too. I need to know: What does it mean when you dream about your boyfriend cheating on you twice with someone you’re close to, like your sibling? Even with that high school ex, I used to wonder, is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Well, your partner dream-cheating on you with someone you love is a sign that you really want these two people to get along. They are not being disloyal to you in real life. You just don’t want them missing out on knowing each other since you love them so much. On the other hand, this dream may also be picking at your insecurities. In some way, this person makes you feel unworthy. Perhaps it’s their altruistic nature, a great sense of humor, or their financial stability. Don’t concern yourself so much about the dream infidelity and use it as an opportunity for self-reflection to work on your confidence.

5. Dreams of your partner cheating on you with their boss

These dreams can be really stress-inducing. The fact that your partner can see their boss every day makes it difficult to not think about this nightmare. It becomes even more unsettling if you are not content with your current sexual relationship which can be an instigating factor behind an impending affair. But don’t make your spouse apologize for cheating on you just yet.

Nishi says, “Before we find out why you’ve been having such bad dreams about spouse cheating on you, always remember that the majority of the time, dreams are symbolic of yourself and the happenings of your life rather than somebody else’s character, personality, or infidelity. The dream could even be a sign that you want more control over your spouse.

“This dream points out your innermost desire to be more authoritative in your relationship. You want your significant other to bend to your will every now and then.” You can’t control anyone. You can only control yourself and your feelings. Don’t let these feelings overcome you or it can ruin a perfectly healthy relationship and you may end up with a deteriorating mental health.

6. Dreams of spouse cheating on you with their colleague 

Another common cheating dream that could affect you severely. This happens because it’s with someone your partner sees every day; plus there might be huge trust issues in the relationship already. You’ve either been cheated on before by your spouse or somebody else has betrayed you in a past relationship. You are insecure and worried about being cheated on again.

It could also signify that you’re going through big life changes. If you keep seeing this dream and don’t know what to do, let your partner know that you’ve been experiencing such nightmares. You can also reach out to a licensed healer or mental health professional and seek the help needed for a better understanding of your inner turmoil.

dream of husband cheating
The fact that your partner sees a particular coworker every day bothers you and it leads to cheating dreams

If You Are The One Cheating In Your Dreams

If you are the spouse cheating on your partner in your dreams, then the interpretations aren’t the same. These dreams point to the fact that you are feeling guilty for something. Perhaps you spoke to someone and hid this from your partner or you actually cheated on them and have been keeping them in the dark about this. Some other interpretations include:

  • You don’t want to continue with this marriage 
  • You feel your partner isn’t good or worthy enough to be your spouse 
  • Your relationship needs aren’t being met or you feel like there is something lacking in your sexual life 
  • You are giving too much time and attention to something/someone else  
  • You are feeling guilty about hiding something else entirely, and it’s manifesting in the form of infidelity

Key Pointers

  • Dreams of spouse cheating don’t mean that they are actually having an affair in real life. It just means something is missing in your marriage like quality time or acts of service
  • When you dream about your partner cheating on you with his ex, it either means you are jealous of something the other person has or you feel like your partner hasn’t moved on from their previous relationship yet
  • Dreams about spouse cheating on you with their boss means you have a desire to be more controlling in the relationship
  • If you dream of cheating on your spouse, it means you’re guilty of something or that your needs aren’t being met

These dreams are a reminder that you need to work on yourself and the unmet needs in your marriage. Whether or not you want to address these issues is your call. However, you need to keep in mind that these dreams won’t stop unless you do something about it.

This article has been updated in September 2023.

FAQs

1. What does cheating in a dream represent?

It represents a person’s unfulfilled relationship needs. Sometimes, these dreams also signify a person’s lack of self-esteem and their hidden insecurities. If they did cheat on you before, then these dreams represent your deep fear that they could be do it again. 

2. Are dreams about cheating normal?

Yes, these dreams are common. While these could be worrisome and you may get all worked up thinking your relationship is in trouble, that’s not usually the case. These dreams signify something else that’s missing in your life. 

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