There might not be lipstick stains on his shirt but if lately, you have been feeling that your partner is being unfaithful, you can get to the bottom of it by looking out for the evident physical signs he’s cheating. It is said that women have a strong sixth sense, which helps them gauge when something is off. Whether it is in their daily life or in romantic relationships, they can sense when things are going south.
The first sign of a man cheating can make you feel like the ground beneath your feet has shifted and collapsed. Brace yourself for impact before you go looking for telling physical or body language signs he is cheating. After all, being able to trust your spouse is at the heart of building a healthy, successful, and long-lasting relationship. But you can’t nurture the element of trust in your relationship when you can’t shake off niggling doubts about your partner’s infidelity.
If that’s where you’re at, keep an eye out for these 11 physical signs he is cheating on you, which we have curated with the insights from counselor Manjari Saboo (Masters in Applied Psychology and Post-Graduate Diploma in Family Therapy and Child Care Counseling), founder of Maitree Counselling, an initiative dedicated to the emotional well-being of families and children.
11 Physical Signs He Is Cheating On You
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We assume that you have a gut feeling that the guy you are with is cheating. You can’t quite put a finger on it nor can you snoop on him for weird signs he’s cheating on his phone. But, something doesn’t quite feel right. It is your subconscious mind catching the sad signs he’s cheating but your conscious mind still has to comprehend what it is that you’re feeling. The marvelous thing about the human body is that the central nervous system gets activated when there is a threat around and starts sending signals to the body.
When there are sneaky signs of a cheating spouse, your body will perceive them. You might feel uneasy, anxious, or develop a headache. This is just a way for your body to tell you that if you suspect your partner may be cheating, then he most likely is. There are body language signs he’s cheating, which you might not be able to figure out but your subconscious does. Here are 11 obvious signs to watch out for. Consider this your cheat sheet:
Related Reading: The 8 Most Common Types Of Cheating In A Relationship
1. Reduced PDA
What are the first signs of a man cheating? The way he behaves with you in public may begin to change. If you have gone from cringe-worthy PDA to talking like strangers, it could be one of the signs he’s cheating. Observe the behavioral shift in your partner’s way of expressing love.
Don’t jump to the conclusion he is cheating if the PDA has organically declined, not just from his end but yours too. However, if he is the one who has suddenly become cold and distant, it could be one of the big warning signs he’s cheating. He does not feel the need to show you affection because he is probably showing it to someone else.
Manjari says, “If you are walking hand-in-hand in a public space or showing affection toward each other at a get-together and he suddenly becomes distant and cold, it is because his special friend is present in the surroundings and he wants to keep a distance from you. It is one of the unusual signs of cheating.”
2. He has become a new man
Another telltale physical sign he’s cheating is the sudden and complete transformation of your man. Has the man who didn’t take a shower for 2 days in a row suddenly developed a grooming routine? Some other boyfriend cheating signs most people miss include:
- Taking extra care of his hygiene
- Joining a gym to get a better physique
- Transforming his wardrobe
- Getting new clothes, perfumes, shoes, and even undergarments
Sure, such a transformation could mean that he is finally prioritizing self-care but it could just as easily be a sign of a cheating partner. Even more so, if he is also interested in watching and exploring new things he never did before. It might sound like one of the weird signs he’s cheating but the entry of a new person equals exposure to new things. He might be trying to get interested in what the other woman likes and find common ground.
If you are still not convinced and think this is one of the signs he’s cheating, let me ask you this, when was the last time your man paid close attention to his appearance, made an effort to be well-dressed at all times, and started exploring new interests? Yep, you are guessing it right; when he was trying to woo you!
3. He brushes off serious conversations with laughter
Avoiding a serious conversation, regardless of the topic, is usually an indication that the other person is uneasy. When you tell your partner you’re having a bad day and they smile, that’s not a normal reaction from a loving partner. It is one of the physical signs he’s cheating.
Manjari explains, “Forgetting to give important messages, avoiding intimate talks, and dodging work in the house are a cause for concern. These are physical signs of cheating because they demonstrate the sudden lack of interest in the relationship.”
Of course, avoiding a conversation entails more than simply smiling and chuckling when trying to bring up a serious topic. Does he seem to be preoccupied with something else? Is he always on his phone? If he is more interested in staring at his screen than talking to you, it could be a sign he’s cheating online or one of the signs he’s cheating on his phone. He spends all that time staring at the screen either because he is texting someone on the sly or in anticipation of a message.
4. You observe negative cluster cues
Cluster cues, according to Psychology Today, are a group of body language actions that might indicate positive or negative feelings. When you try to go closer, your spouse may move away, touch their back, scratch their eyes, or cross their arms, all of which are negative cluster signs.
A single one of these signs may not be significant, but a cluster of them can be body language signs he’s cheating. To explain in simpler terms, your partner’s body language toward you has become negative. For example:
- His facial expressions change when you ask for his cell phone or when you ask to read his text messages
- He will flinch when you touch him
- He doesn’t pay attention when you show affection
- He sits facing away from you
- He says he has to work late and lets out a sigh when you ask anymore questions
- He talks in a different voice. Research has found that a sudden change in a person’s voice and pitch can determine whether they are cheating on their partner or not
Body language and facial expressions are important factors in determining both drunk cheating and sober cheating. When a person likes another person, their body language is more positive. So if you suspect your partner might be cheating, pay close attention to his body language because it can present evidence.
5. There is no conversation between you
Not paying attention when you are talking is one thing. But not talking to each other at all, well, that could be one of the big warning signs of an unfaithful man. His behavior will be the polar opposite of what it used to be when he was interested in you. Maybe you’ve noticed that he’s lost interest in what you did during the day, or he doesn’t say “I love you”, or doesn’t want to kiss or hug you any longer. He doesn’t care if you stop talking to him. He is busy pleasing someone else so he won’t even bother noticing that the communication has died down between the two of you.
Instead, all his focus is on his phone or his laptop. This could be one of the most telling signs he’s cheating online. Yes, he could also be nervous or worried about something, which could be the innocent explanation for a change in his behavior. However, if he starts to show less interest in how you’re feeling, it’s usually a huge red flag and indicates that he’s getting his emotional fix elsewhere.
“Communication helps you forge a deeper connection with your partner. It instills faith in you that even when there’s no one you can turn to, your partner will be right next to you. However, when the communication stops, the connection also becomes weak. This applies to both verbal and non-verbal communication,” says Manjari.
Related Reading: 8 Steps To Deal With Your Spouse’s Emotional Affair
6. His behavior in bed has changes
Another way your man may unwittingly reveal a physical sign he’s cheating is through the way he engages with you sexually. He will either:
- Avoid physical intimacy
- Or begin overcompensating on the sexual front because he feels guilty about sleeping with someone else
Research has found that these two are concerning factors in a long-term relationship because they can either lead to infidelity or indicate that infidelity has already taken place. Many women end up assuming that their partner is more into them if they suddenly act lustier toward them.
However, it could be one of the signs of a man cheating if it happens more than once and out of nowhere. Try to analyze the context. Your significant other’s newfound sexual confidence may be causing him to try new sex techniques/positions because someone in another bed is teaching him these new moves.
7. He is in a constant state of stress
Heavy is the head that wears the crown of infidelity. If you notice that your man has been more stressed of late, it could be one of the physical signs he’s cheating. When you observe his mood swings and consistent tension and no other outlying variables, that might be one of the non-verbal cues he is not honest with you. When you confront a cheater about his stress, he will most likely lie to you and attribute it to pressures at work. That’s how cheaters hide their tracks.
If you find your generally easygoing partner suddenly acting stressed out, biting his nails, drinking excessively, or even obsessing over things, it could be because the pressure of concealing a dark secret is getting to him. He may be upset and unsure about what to do or attempting to push you away. If he is texting another girl, he’d be constantly worried about you getting a peek at their exchanges. The excessive effort he puts into hiding his electronic devices is not a good sign. He might be cheating on you online.
8. He begins to avoid eye contact
A man’s cheating ways become clear when he intentionally avoids eye contact with you. People who can look others in the eyes and lie are more likely to have psychopathic tendencies, therefore, it’s critical to recognize the difference and recognize when something isn’t right. If he is trying to hide something from you, he will not look at you while talking.
For example, if you ask him who he was talking to and he just looks at the TV screen and replies, “No one”, it could be a sign he’s cheating on his phone. “Eye contact is an important component of a conversation. People feel more connected when they are looking into your eyes and they are also more honest. If a person tries to avoid eye contact, it either means they are lying or hiding something,” says Manjari.
9. He is jumping into the shower all the time
I already know that is an extremely weird sign he’s cheating but hear me out. Of course, it is normal for a man to take a shower. He wants to be hygienic. But, if he jumps into the shower the minute he comes home and this is not something he did before, it is a physical sign he’s cheating. Why, you ask? Well, how else do you get rid of the smell of another woman’s perfume?
If he is being unfaithful and having an affair, he won’t come home and hug you or be next to you until he has washed off the smell of his dirty deeds. It is one of the possible physical signs he’s cheating. I’m not saying that you should scrutinize your man for this behavior, but if you have been observing other body language signs he’s cheating and also notice the sudden spate in the frequency of his showers, it might be a red flag.
Related Reading: When To Walk Away After Infidelity: 10 Signs To Know
10. He gives you too much attention
Contrary to popular perception, cheating isn’t always characterized by a diminished interest in one’s primary partner. A sudden and excessive uptick in attention is also one of the weird signs he is cheating. When the cheating guilt kicks in, he might go above and beyond to show you how emotionally invested he is in you.
Perhaps he buys you gifts unexpectedly or starts helping around more. If you cohabitate or have a family, he may even start doing more stuff around the house – laundry, dishes, or those DIY jobs that have been left unfinished for months. Before you jump to the conclusion that he is out and about with another woman, ask yourself, have you been going through a rough patch recently? Your fella could have decided to make more of an effort to get things back on track – positive thinking is important in relationships.
However, if the sudden attention stems from nowhere, you might be correct in suspecting your partner of cheating. The logical explanation is that he’s feeling guilty and wants to make up for the fact that he’s having an affair. This sort of thing often happens in the early stages of an affair, when a man is torn between his primal needs and ethical values.
11. He doesn’t cuddle after sex
Infidelity may trigger another drastic shift in the intimacy in your relationship, and you may notice that your man no longer wants to cuddle after sex or engage in after-play. Now, it is a common notion that men do not like to cuddle. Let’s throw that notion back where it came from, imaginary land, and focus on the facts. Couples in a healthy romantic relationship have a habit to cuddle and feel the warmth of each other’s bodies after sex. You may feel bad when your partner doesn’t snuggle with you after sex. But there is a bigger tragedy you should brace yourself for.
Even more so if your post-sex cuddles were once an integral part of your intimate moments but your man suddenly does not seem to want them, it could be one of the physical signs he’s cheating. Manjari says, “When you are filled with guilt, you avoid being around the person you have wronged. Cuddling is an intimate act, so when a man is cheating, he tries to avoid cuddling to avoid the intimacy and guilt that comes with it.”
- Men have the ability to hide their betrayal from prying eyes but don’t turn a blind eye to signs and red flags
- Some crucial signs he is cheating on you include avoiding emotional and physical intimacy and being overprotective about their schedules and meetings
- A few other signs include getting a makeover, avoiding eye contact, and lying through their teeth
Infidelity is a serious concern in many modern-day relationships and a setback like this can take a toll not just on your relationship but also your mental health. Sometimes, people can cover their tracks and get away with cheating for years. However, no one deserves to be in a relationship like that. The aching signs he’s cheating can help you get a whiff of his transgressions no matter how good he is at covering his tracks. So, if you suspect your partner is cheating, pay close attention to the way he behaves with and around you. If you recognize more than 5 of these 11 signs, it is time to sit your partner down and have a talk.
This article has been updated in April 2023.