How To Increase Libido After Menopause—9 Easy Ways

If you’ve been feeling like your sex drive packed up and left sometime after menopause, you’re not alone, and you’re definitely not broken. It’s one of the most common, and yet least talked about, changes women experience in midlife. The hormonal shifts, sleep disruptions, stress, and emotional changes that come with this transition can all impact your desire. But the good news is, you can get it back. This guide on how to increase libido after menopause is here to help you understand what’s really going on in your body and walk you through science-backed, real-life strategies to reignite your desire naturally and confidently.

Menopause And Sex Drive: Why Libido Tends To Decrease

According to research,  about 50% of women between 40 and 60 report a decline in libido compared to earlier years. The connection between menopause and sex drive is largely hormonal. As a woman ages, estrogen and testosterone levels fall. “These hormones are linked to desire,” explains gynecologist Dr. Hutcherson. 

Lower estrogen can cause vaginal dryness and thinner tissues, making intercourse uncomfortable or even painful, which naturally dampens arousal and interest in sex. It’s hardly surprising, then, that a lot of women find themselves confused and frustrated by this change that can seem “sudden”, and are left wondering about how to increase libido after menopause, or if it’s even possible.

Related Reading: How To Say No To Sex Without Hurting Him?

However, the physiological changes during menopause impact libido are only part of the story.  “There’s sort of a nesting doll situation. Many of the common issues around menopause affect each other,” notes sexologist Carol Queen, PhD. Your lack of desire might be influenced not only by hormones but also by what’s happening in your life and mind. Menopausal symptoms like hot flashes, insomnia, mood swings, and anxiety can all erode your libido. 

Stress from work or caregiving often spikes at midlife, and relationship dynamics may shift as well. “All of those forces work together to disrupt your libido, even if you want to want it,” Queen adds. Emotional factors like feeling disconnected from your partner or less confident in your changing body also play a huge role in menopause and sex drive changes. It’s a complex situation with layered triggers. The good news is that low libido after menopause isn’t permanent. Think of this phase as an opportunity to understand your “new” body and redefine intimacy on your terms. 

Although arousal can take longer and old techniques might not work as easily, you can absolutely rekindle your desire with the right approaches. If you’ve been asking yourself, “How can I get my libido back after menopause?”, take heart. Many women before you have navigated this change successfully. The key is addressing both the physical and emotional factors behind a low sex drive, and keep trying different approaches until you figure out what works best for you. 

How To Increase Libido After Menopause—9 Easy Ways 

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer for how to increase female sex drive after menopause, but a combination of approaches can help. We’ve rounded up nine strategies, ranging from natural remedies to supplements, methods, and devices, that many women have found effective. In one or a combination of these may lie your answer to how to increase libido after menopause. 

Take your time to experiment and see what works best for you. As you go through this journey, keep an open mind and be patient with yourself. With some effort and experimentation, it’s entirely possible to revive your libido and enjoy a fulfilling sex life after menopause. Let’s talk about some how:

1. Consult your doctor about hormone therapy

One of the first steps for increasing libido after menopause is checking in on your hormones. The decline in estrogen and often testosterone during menopause can directly lead to low sex drive. Rebalancing those hormones may significantly improve things. 

Talk to your doctor or a menopause specialist about your options. One of your options is Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), which usually involves estrogen and sometimes progesterone. It is known to relieve many menopausal symptoms that are killing your desire like vaginal dryness, night sweats, and mood swings. “HRT can stabilize levels of hormones like estrogen, lessening the impact of many menopause symptoms that make sex painful and uncomfortable,” notes Dr. Susanna Unsworth, a menopause specialist.

Keep in mind HRT isn’t a magic libido pill and desire is complicated, but it often lays a necessary foundation. Besides systemic HRT, vaginal estrogen products like creams, tablets or rings can be a game-changer if painful intercourse is a barrier. These deliver a small dose of estrogen locally to rejuvenate vaginal tissues and lubrication. DHEA vaginal inserts (prasterone) are another prescription option that can improve vaginal comfort and some aspects of libido. The bottom line is, there are many medical options available to treat low sex drive after menopause. Consult a healthcare provider to rule out any medical issues and consider whether hormone therapy is right for you. 

2. Soothe dryness with lubricants and moisturizers

When sex is painful, it’s only natural to lose your appetite for it. Vaginal dryness and discomfort are common culprits behind low libido during menopause. Addressing these issues can dramatically improve your desire. After all, if you know sex will feel good, you’re more likely to want it! An easy, immediate fix is to invest in good lubricants and vaginal moisturizers. 

Look for water-based or silicone-based lubricants. For example, a product like Good Clean Love Almost Naked, a popular gentle, water-based lube available on Amazon, or Sliquid H2O can make intercourse much more comfortable. Apply a generous amount before and during sex. Reapply as needed and experiment with different brands or consistencies (gel, liquid, etc.) until you find what feels best for you.

In addition to lubes, consider a daily or every-other-day vaginal moisturizer to keep your tissues hydrated. These are creams or gels you apply internally to combat dryness. Kind of like a face moisturizer but for your vaginal wall. Products like Replens Long-Lasting Moisturizer or Yes VM Vaginal Moisturizer can be used a few times a week. They aren’t for sex per se, but they improve your baseline comfort. Many women in menopause find that using a moisturizer regularly keeps the vagina more supple and enhances natural lubrication when aroused.

If dryness is severe or causing tiny tears, you might also try vaginal vitamin E suppositories or even organic coconut oil as a natural remedy to increase libido during menopause. While these do not directly boost desire, they can help combat discomfort during intercourse by making your vagina feel soothed. A comfortable vagina is more responsive and sensitive, which can only help female arousal after menopause. 

Along with lubes, you might explore arousal gels or oils like Zestra Essential Arousal Oil, which claim to increase blood flow and sensation when applied to the clitoris. Some women find them helpful for warming up. They can be a fun addition to your intimacy toolbox once you’ve handled the basic dryness issue.

Related Reading: Maintenance Sex – What Is It, Why Is It Important, And How To Have It?

3. Try natural remedies and female libido supplements

Many women wonder how to increase libido after menopause naturally, seeking options beyond hormone prescriptions. If you, too, prefer a more natural approach to increasing libido after menopause, you have plenty of options on that front, too, ranging from herbs, supplements, and alternative therapies. The most popular ones include:

• Maca root: A Peruvian herb traditionally used as an aphrodisiac. Maca may help with sexual function during menopause, according to some studies. Women taking maca have reported improved desire and even relief from menopause-related sexual dysfunction. You can try maca powder or capsules like Organic Maca capsules
• Ginseng: Research suggests that Ginseng, particularly Korean Red Ginseng, improved sexual arousal in menopausal women and overall sexual function. It works by increasing blood flow and reducing stress, and is considered safe short term. Korean Red Ginseng Extract supplements, as well as menopause-focused supplements like Estroven’s menopause relief formula, can be worth exploring
• Tribulus terrestris: This herb, also known as puncture vine, is known to help boost testosterone levels modestly and improve arousal. A 2016 study found Tribulus could be a safe alternative to hormonal medications for low libido. You can find tribulus in products like Tribulus libido boosters for women.
• Ginkgo biloba: Commonly taken for memory, ginkgo may also have “positive effects on sexuality after menopause,” according to a 2021 review. It might improve blood flow and help with relaxation. Ginkgo is also found in some menopause supplements like the brand Ristela, for arousal. You can even take a Ginkgo supplement alone.

Other supplements sometimes used for female libido include, 

• L-arginine, an amino acid that may enhance blood flow to the genitalia
• Chasteberry (Vitex) for hormone balance
• DHEA, a precursor hormone, you can buy OTC in the US
• Ashwagandha, an adaptogenic herb that can reduce stress and improve sexual function indirectly

Before you rush to fill your cart with female libido supplements, always talk to your healthcare provider first, especially if you have any medical conditions or take other medications. As Dr. Unsworth wisely points out, if your libido issues stem from something like stress or relationship problems, “no amount of medical or herbal treatment is going to improve that” until those underlying issues are addressed. 

Supplements are not a cure-all, but rather one piece of the puzzle. Also, natural does not mean automatically safe. That said, some women do feel a real boost from the right supplement. You might need to experiment (one at a time, please!) to find what works. Reading reviews can be helpful. For instance, a product called “Love Goddess” female libido supplement contains a blend of herbs like muira puama, maca, ginseng, etc. Women who tried it have reported “a significant improvement in my desire and overall satisfaction” after a few weeks. Others noted “feeling more connected with my partner and more confident overall” when using such herbal blends. 

Related Reading: 7 Things No One Tells You About Married Sex

4. Experiment with sexual aids and intimate devices

The answer to how to increase libido after menopause doesn’t necessarily have to be external. Trying to shake up your bedroom routine by trying something new can infuse a freshness into your intimate connection, giving you a reason to look forward to it. This can mean using sexual aids like vibrators, massagers, or other adult devices to increase libido after menopause by enhancing physical stimulation. 

Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, who at 52 has gone through these changes herself, puts it this way: “We’re not in 22-year-old bodies anymore. Maybe it’s a lot harder to experience an orgasm now. It can be frustrating. But you have the right to do that for yourself through masturbation or to ask that from a partner.”

So, don’t shy away from using a tool to get the job done. You deserve pleasure, whatever it takes! If the “old tricks” like manual or oral stimulation aren’t working as well as before, “take some time to discover what does, and treat yourself to it, whether it’s lube, a new vibrator, or just more quality time and fewer quickies,” says Dr. Gunsaullus. Here are a few sex toys and aids you can experiment with to boost libido or stir up sexual desire during and after menopause: 

• The We-Vibe Tango or LELO Mia—both highly rated bullet vibes
• The classic Magic Wand—famous for powerful and reliable external stimulation
• Suction stimulators like the Satisfyer Pro 2 for clitoral stimulation 
• G-spot vibrator like the Lovense Osci for internal massage 
• Wearable vibrators such as the We-Vibe Sync can be used during intercourse

Along with these targeted sex toys, don’t discount the impact of simpler aids and adult novelty items like sensual massage candles or vibrating rings. The goal is to make arousal easier and more exciting. If you feel a bit hesitant or shy about using a sex toy, remember that it’s just a tool, not very different from the reading glasses you put on to read fine print. 

Related Reading: How To Clean A Vibrator? 9 Mistakes You Must Avoid

5. Exercise regularly and strengthen your pelvic floor

It’s no secret that exercise is good for you, but did you know it can boost your libido too, especially after menopause? If you’re looking for how to increase sex drive after menopause naturally, one answer is to get moving. Regular physical activity has multiple benefits that directly translate to a better sex drive. First, exercise improves blood circulation throughout the body, including the pelvic region, which means better arousal and lubrication responses. 

Cardio activities like brisk walking, dancing, and swimming get your blood pumping and can help counteract the reduced genital blood flow that menopause often brings. Besides, exercise is also a great stress reducer and mood booster. Anything that reduces stress and boosts your mood will contribute to enhanced desire. 

Beyond general fitness, there’s one specific type of exercise for better sex and sexual wellness every woman in menopause should consider: pelvic floor exercises, commonly known as Kegels. Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles can have a surprisingly positive effect on sexual function. A study with postmenopausal women showed that after 12 weeks of doing pelvic floor muscle training, the women had significantly higher arousal, orgasm, and satisfaction scores compared to before. 

To do Kegel exercises, you simply squeeze the pelvic floor muscles, as if you’re stopping the flow of urine, for a few seconds, then release. Do sets of 10 squeezes, a few times a day. If you’re not sure you’re doing it right, there are phone apps and devices that can guide you. For instance, the Care+ Trainer is a small insertable device that connects to an app and games that encourage you to do your Kegels correctly. There are also lower-tech Kegel balls or weights you can use. 

Related Reading: What Do You Do When Your Partner Is Feeling Horny But You Aren’t?

6. Reduce stress and prioritize quality sleep

Ever notice how much more in the mood you are when you’re relaxed and rested? There’s a direct link between stress, sleep, and libido. During menopause, life stresses can pile up. You might be juggling work, family, and aging parents, all while dealing with menopausal symptoms. The chronic stress resulting from all of this can prove to be a major mood killer in the bedroom. 

High stress triggers the release of cortisol, which at high levels can blunt your sex hormones and reduce libido. It’s hard to feel frisky when your mind is on work deadlines, finances, or the million items on your to-do list. “To experience desire, women need to be relaxed and able to focus on pleasure,” explains Dr. Hutcherson, “Unfortunately, women are easily distracted by life stressors, making it difficult to think about sex.” 

That’s why managing stress and getting good sleep is one of the most important natural strategies for how to increase libido after menopause. In fact, some experts say it’s the most important. Consider this permission to indulge in self-care

• Prioritize downtime
• Say no to extra obligations you don’t want
• Incorporate stress-reduction techniques like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga into your routine
• Create calming rituals like taking a nightly bath, going for a quiet walk, or listening to music before bed
• Try supplements like ashwagandha or CBD oil to de-stress
• Consider a natural sleep aid such as melatonin or a herbal blend like OLLY Sleep gummies
• A white noise machine or weighted blanket can also improve sleep quality by reducing nighttime anxiety
• If anxiety or mood swings are overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist or support group

Be mindful that menopause and sexless marriage situations can arise partly due to mismanaged stress. Couples stop being intimate not because they don’t love each other, but because one or both partners are too stressed or tired to initiate or participate. Taking conscious steps to reduce stress can prevent that scenario. 

7. Communicate openly and reconnect with your partner

A fulfilling sex life after menopause isn’t just about your body. It’s also just as much linked to the emotional connection with your partner. In fact, low libido sometimes has less to do with hormones and more to do with relationship dynamics. Years of marriage or long-term partnership can breed routines and even avoidance around sex, especially if you’ve hit some rocky patches or fallen into a sexless marriage pattern. To increase your libido, it’s often crucial to improve the intimacy outside the bedroom and open the lines of communication.

Start by having an honest, compassionate conversation with your partner about what you’re experiencing. It can be as simple as saying, “I’ve noticed my sex drive isn’t what it used to be, and I miss our intimacy. I’d like to work on it together.” Encourage your partner to share their feelings too. You might be surprised that they may have fears of their own—fear of hurting you if you have pain, or fear of rejection. Team up against the problem, rather than quietly drifting apart.

Related Reading: Discover Your Worth: 13 Ways To Feel Loved And Appreciated

Focus on non-sexual intimacy and friendship with your partner. Sometimes, libido wanes because the relationship bond needs tending. Plan date nights or new activities together to spark some novelty. Cuddling, kissing, holding hands, giving each other back rubs, these affectionate touches release oxytocin and can gently stoke the embers of desire without pressure. 

If you worry the spark is completely gone, don’t despair. Many couples have been in a near-sexless marriage after menopause and turned it around by addressing the emotional distance. Couples therapy or sex therapy is immensely helpful. A professional can guide you through conversations and exercises to improve both emotional and sexual intimacy. The point is, don’t silently accept a sexless status quo if it’s bothering you. Menopause and sex drive changes can challenge a relationship, but they can also be an opportunity to reinvent your sex life together. 

8. Embrace novelty, fantasy, and playfulness

One reliable way to spark a waning libido is to infuse some novelty and excitement into your sex life. After many years and certainly post-menopause, sex can start feeling routine or boring, which doesn’t do much to light the fire. Our brains crave variety. New experiences release dopamine, the “excitement” neurotransmitter that is also linked to sexual desire. So, how to increase libido after menopause naturally? One answer is: try something different. Give yourself permission to play, experiment, and even get a little out of your comfort zone in the fantasy department.

Think about what “new thing” might intrigue you. It could be as simple as changing the setting. If you always have sex in the bedroom at night, try a daytime encounter in the living room. Or perhaps invest in some sexy lingerie or a silk robe that makes you feel like a goddess. Some couples break out of a rut by trying role-playing or using alter egos in the bedroom (even if it’s just silly fun). Others find that watching erotic movies or reading erotica gets them in the mood. Sexologist Carol Queen suggests “Hand skills, oral sex, making out, sharing fantasies, and watching erotic movies” as options to add to your sexual menu. If you’re looking for ideas to get started, here are some things you can explore: 

• An erotic card game like Monogamy: A Hot Affair Game, which guides you through different levels of intimacy and dares
• Try a blindfold and a feather for some sensory play
• Check out erotic books like Atomic Girls: Erotic Stories of Women’s Fantasies, or the classic 365 Days of Sensational Sex
• Erotic short story collections or audio erotica apps like Dipsea or Audible’s erotic section 

Finally, don’t underestimate the power of laughter and play. Sex can become so serious when you’re concerned about your libido. Flip the script and try to be playful. Maybe that means having a glass of wine and doing a goofy striptease, or trying a silly adult board game that makes you both giggle. When you lower your guard and play, your natural sensuality often sneaks back in. 

9. Cultivate a positive mindset and self-image

Your mindset about sex and yourself plays a huge role in libido. Menopause can be a time of immense change, not just physically, but psychologically. You might feel like you don’t recognize your body anymore, or struggle with feeling attractive as you age. Negative thoughts or body image issues can quickly sabotage your sex drive. It’s hard to feel sexy when you’re thinking, “Ugh, I’ve gained weight,” or “I have wrinkles now,” or “My body is betraying me.” Part of increasing your libido is learning to see yourself as a sexual, desirable being in this stage of life, and shedding any shame or baggage that’s built up over the years.

Take stock of your beliefs about sex and aging. Are you holding onto the idea that menopause signals the end of your “sexy years”? If so, challenge that! Many women have the best sex of their lives in their 50s and 60s, often because they feel more confident and uninhibited than they did when younger. 

Try to reframe menopause as a new chapter of sexual maturity where you’re in control and free to define what intimacy means to you. If you’ve been wondering how to increase a woman’s libido after menopause, consider that a big part of it is nurturing self-compassion and confidence. When you treat yourself with love and view yourself as sexy, your body will often follow suit with renewed libido.

Final Thoughts

With these well-rounded strategies that cover everything from hormone health to communication to playfulness, how to increase libido after menopause will no longer seem like a daunting challenge. You will discover that there is passion and desire after menopause. Many women find that their post-menopausal sex life, while different, is just as satisfying, once they figure out what works for them. It may take some experimentation, but don’t give up. You are in control of writing this chapter of your life. Embrace your sexuality and enjoy this new phase with confidence and joy.

The Pressure to Perform, When Intimacy Becomes a Chore

The Best Sex Is Enjoyed Without Guilt Or Shame

What Is Mercy Sex? 10 Signs You Have Had Pity Sex

Your contribution does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue bringing you new and up-to-date information in our pursuit of helping anyone in the world to learn how to do anything.

See Our Editorial Process

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

What is your feedback?

×

Helpful Report an Error Other

Submit