“Hello sweetie, your place or mine?,” “Hi babe! What a gorgeous profile pic!,” “Your bio is so magnetic. Can I ask you out on a date tonight?” – Do these messages sound familiar? Well, women are barraged with at least a hundred such messages as soon as they sign up on any modern dating app. A recent study also found out that very often women end up rejecting 80% of the matches they receive on dating apps. So, is online dating for women really easier or just a different kind of difficult? Spoiler alert: it’s not easier.

We took a detailed look at the topic and found out some interesting facts. Let’s read on to not just find out how easy (or difficult) women have it on dating apps but also to unearth a few ways women can navigate the online dating space more efficiently. 

Online Dating For Women—Is It Actually Easier? 

We’ve all come across memes of men swiping aggressively through dating apps in the hopes of trying to find a match. Take, for instance, the case of my coworker, Aron. He is on most dating apps. But he once confided in me, saying, “When a match does come along, there’s a slim chance that it’s going to work.” In fact, he has been unable to find a partner yet. So, he ends up uninstalling the apps, only to reinstall it the following week. But is the scenario the same in the case of online dating for women? Why do some people believe dating is easier for women online?

While matches don’t really fly in for men, complaining about how the “system is rigged” isn’t unheard of. The whole argument of “online dating is a lot easier for women” comes from the fact that women tend to get more matches, but the volume doesn’t always mean it’s easier. 

Related Reading: Things Guys Do On Dating Apps That Instantly Creep Women Out

A case of quantity vs quality 

Before we get into the details of this online dating is easier for women belief, let’s look at what a Reddit user has to say about it, “No, but it’s hard in different ways.” Sure, the matches and the messages come flying in for women, but that’s not really a good thing. For starters, that is probably the case because over 70% of Tinder users (at least in the U.S.) are male. 

According to a recent survey, 57% of women reported being contacted via texts or through private social media accounts after stating they weren’t interested. Around 57% received sexually explicit messages or images they did not ask for. So, if you ever see your female friends ignoring a hundred unread messages on their dating profiles, it’s probably because the content of those messages makes them dread ever wanting to open the app in the first place. 

But why is there such a massive divide between the way men and women use dating apps? Why is online dating so hard for men, as they all so unanimously agree? Perhaps it could all boil down to biology. Studies suggest that natural stereotypes hold true in the online dating world as well. Men care more about physical attractiveness, and women take into consideration a few more factors, like socioeconomic attributes. That explains why we see men swiping right as if they don’t know a ‘left swipe’ exists, and women trying to find the needle in the haystack. 

“It’s easier to get matches because most guys will swipe right on literally anyone,” says a Reddit user, talking about what online dating for women really is like. They add, “After getting the match, it’s not exactly easier. They just swiped right on a photo, they didn’t read the bio, are only looking to be physical and lying about it to get the match. If you’re actually trying to date, it quickly becomes overwhelming.”

Related Reading: A Swing And A Miss: Emotions You Go Through When You’re Left On Read

The perils of online dating 

Come to think of it, the online dating game isn’t really easy for anyone. But it’s doubly unsafe when it comes to online dating for women. Why is it so? Let’s look at a few instances:

• It’s an awkward dance of push and pull that often features two people waiting for an appropriate number of hours to pass before they can reply to a message so that they don’t appear desperate
• There’s a very real concern about safety. According to a survey, young women are twice as likely to face threats of physical harm or verbal abuse than their male counterparts. It’s no surprise that women are subject to a greater number of online sexual harassment cases, and we all know just how creepy sliding into someone’s DMs can be. 
• The plethora of matches can overwhelm women and make it difficult for them to settle on one person
• A lot of personal information, including photos, can be misused by others

A Smart Guide On Online Dating For Women

So, how does one tackle the challenges of online dating for women? “Our worst-case scenarios are really different,” says a Reddit user, adding, “Men don’t walk into dates keeping their personal safety at the top of their mind. They don’t worry about being sexually assaulted. This isn’t to say it doesn’t happen to men, but I hear a lot of men talk about rejection (which everyone deals with) as if that’s the worst thing that could possibly happen on a date.” 

Besides, nearly half of the US population says dating has gotten harder over the last decade. Though women get more matches on dating apps, when the only thing those matches bring with them is the anxiety of being verbally abused or threatened, you can see why they don’t agree with the notion that online dating is easier for women. Now that we know that online dating for women isn’t a cakewalk, let’s look at a smart dating guide on how women can tackle the challenges of online dating. So, here’s how to date as a woman if you’re on dating apps:

Related Reading: 27 Signs He Finds You Irresistible & Is Attracted To You

1. Be honest about what you want

One of the best online dating tips for women is to be frank about your needs and wants. As women, we’ve often been taught that thirst traps may attract creeps. A larger number of us still feel shy about admitting that we may want a fling or a one-night stand instead of a long-term relationship. We may simply not be in the right frame of mind or the perfect situation for a serious relationship. So, the first thing to do when you’re looking to date someone is to make your intentions clear. Be direct and unabashed in stating what you want.

Playing hard to get is a traditional dating etiquette for ladies that you’ll find reiterated in any legitimate dating guide. When done right and in a measured way, it also works wonderfully well for online dating. Keep your messages short in the beginning. Men love the chase. So, control your excitement and let him text first. Here are a few more tips on this front:

• Avoid initiating messages every day
• Double-texting isn’t a sin, but let some time elapse before you let him know how much you’re missing him
• Avoid sending paragraphs. A short “Hi, how’s work?” is fine to make him call or text you if he’s really into you

This Reddit user has an interesting take on dating rules for women. They say, “…you might be texting a lot more because you’re over-explaining because you want to be sure you’re communicating what you mean correctly and that it’s coming across the right way? If the long texts are driven by those anxieties, then maybe you can explain to your partner and ask them to please ask any questions, or if they could let you know if they assume something based on what you said that might be incorrect. That way you don’t feel pressured to over-text each time.”

2. Don’t divulge personal information too soon

Now, any dating guide would tell you this. And with good reason. Remember Netflix’s The Tinder Swindler? The internet is a ruthless place. Con-men, scammers, and hardcore criminals have made it their go-to haven for trapping and luring innocent victims. And if you don’t believe us, take a look at some of the recent cases of murders where the perpetrators found their victims on dating apps.

So, you should definitely be on guard in the initial stages of dating. Be careful not to divulge any of the following too soon:

• Your address
• Your bank details
• Your passport details
• The details of your workplace
• Any other sensitive data, such as mail passwords, etc.

3. Don’t lie

One of the major dating rules for women is to avoid lying. It’s one thing to safeguard your personal details, but you should also make sure you don’t end up creating a fake persona, either with incorrect information or filtered photos. Here are some don’ts to be mindful of if you want to be well-versed in dating etiquette for ladies:

• Don’t exaggerate about your job profile. It’s fine if you wish not to divulge much, but don’t lie
• Avoid posting old photos or photos with layers of filters and edits. This amounts to catfishing, which isn’t a great way to date online
• Don’t lie about your intentions. If you want to date long-term, say it. If you wish to have a short-term fling, say that too

Apart from serious lies, people often resort to lying about inane things on dating apps. Some even find it easier to lie for no reason through texts. There’s a term for some such white lies too. A study termed them ‘butler lies’. They could be about something as simple as lying about why they can’t meet on a particular day. While such butler lies don’t harm much, they do lessen the credibility of the liar if they are exposed later.

Related Reading: Lying By Omission And Its Consequences On Relationships

4. Don’t be affected by mismatches

Just as dating online is becoming increasingly common, so are mismatches. Ghosting is easy and so is blocking. But even if you’ve been unmatched by hot guys on a site/app, don’t take it personally or let it affect your life. And definitely don’t sink into depression. One of the most important dating rules for women is to take it with a pinch of salt, and swipe right on a new account they like.

One of my friends, Andrea, who was depressed by repeated rejections, said, “I am done with online dating. I can’t take being hurt over and over again.” I pitched in and asked her to be a little less harsh on herself. She went on a solo date the next day and was beaming with joy in her Instagram update. “It worked,” she said, “I feel so much better.” A solo visit to her favorite café cheered her up. So, you see, the best thing to do in such cases is to prioritize self-care. Ditch those who ditch you. Focus on yourself.

5. Don’t stick to just one website/app

Be it Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble, dating apps can get monotonous after a while. So, to jazz up your online dating experience, we’d suggest you switch between dating apps. This brings variety to your overall dating experience and also helps you decide which one you’re most suited to. My cousin, Rhea, has this habit of switching from app to app. Apparently, the same pattern of communication (some apps ask for ice-breaker questions, while others go for quirky conversation starters) bores her, and she likes infusing variety in her interactions. 

Related Reading: Dating A Player – Follow These 11 Rules To Not Get Hurt

6. Trust your gut

The gut feeling is your first defense against mishaps. So, when browsing through a dating profile bio, listen to what your instinct says. Does his approach tell you something is off? Do his “Hi sexy” texts make you cringe? Don’t wait till you meet him to reject him. A Reddit user says, “For people that say trust your guts, they’re right. If your gut tells you something is off, most likely it’s off. Last but not least, don’t settle. You owe it to yourself to have someone that you want to be and not because you are lonely.”

7. Block without guilt

The next step to address your gut feeling that something is wrong is to block the guy. Yes, don’t be scared of revenge or mischief. Many women entertain lewd or unacceptable behavior on dating sites on online platforms because they are scared of how the men might react after being rejected. Don’t fall into the trap. Reject them outright. Block, delete, unmatch, before it’s too late. Don’t encourage something you aren’t comfortable with.

Related Reading: 17 Signs You Are Attractive (More Than You Think)

8. Ask questions

How to date as a woman on dating apps without compromising your safety and emotional well-being is a common concern. The best way to counter it is to be informed. Yes, it’s important to make a man chase you, at least in the initial stages of the relationship. But you also need to know about him to be able to make a decision. So, the best way to go about it is to ask questions and analyze his answers. Do his answers sound weird or genuine? Ask him about his education, his family, and his childhood. Ask the same questions in different ways to find out if he’s been lying. 

Infographic On Best Online Dating Sites For Women

Since you now know the dos and don’t of online dating as a woman, let’s give you a low-down on the best online dating sites/apps for women. Here’s our pick:

Final Thoughts

Online dating is here to stay. And we cannot do much about it. However, when it comes to safeguarding oneself, women perhaps still have to build a higher wall than men. And we hope the online dating tips for women in this dating guide will help them achieve that. And we hope you aren’t still wondering how to date as a woman. It’s good to be honest but not so to be vulnerable, especially when the internet has become a hub for scammers and con men. So, this goes out to all those ladies on dating apps: date wisely but safely.

15 Best Places To Meet Men (Out Of Dating Apps)

Where To Meet Women? 12 Best Places To Meet Women – Outside Of Dating Apps

Dating Apps: Great To Find Real Fake People?

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