Long before the COVID pandemic had the world in its spate, existed another raging pandemic, one that shows no signs of slowing down: the plague of creepy men on dating apps. Even though they may not even realize it, sometimes guys can be a bit too… enthusiastic.
Sometimes you can smell the classic creepy guy behavior when he starts a date with “I didn’t know you’d be this thick!” At other times, the Mr. Nice Guy attitude quickly fades away when you don’t reply for a day on a dating app.
If you’re a guy and are trying to do some recon on what you might be doing that’s leaving you ghosted, let’s take a look at the creepy online dating things you need to stop doing right away.
Creepy Things Guys Do On Dating Apps
The reason why guys can sometimes not understand when they’re being creepy is that they never think women are creepy. Unless she blatantly asks something like “So, how healthy are your kidneys, and do you live alone?”, he’s probably not going to get triggered.
But that one time you made a sexual pun about her name as your ingenious pick-up line, she surely did send her friends a screenshot of it. This brings us to the very first point in our list of creepy things guys do on dating apps:
1. When they don’t get that dating apps ≠ instant sex
You know the kind we’re talking about. The ones who start a conversation with an overtly sexual remark on one of the pictures on your profile. The creepiest thing guys can do on a dating app is starting a conversation with “What are you wearing?” or “DTF?”
All this does is leave women shaking their heads in disbelief, thinking, “Why do you think this will work?!” To men who do this: do you think sending a DTF is going to make her go, “Oh, babe, the way you type down three letters after matching with me on a dating app is so hot. Come over right now!”?
Related Reading: Tinder Etiquette: 25 Do’s And Don’ts When Dating On Tinder
2. When guys get too inquisitive
“So, where do you live and at what time of the day do you step outside of your premises, preferably alone? Oh, just so that we can meet for a walk, haha!” All right, all right, the questions might not be this specific, but you get the gist.
Want to ask her if she lives alone or not? You’ll never lose the “serial killer” tag. Want to ask for her phone number after a few messages? All she’s giving you is a trip to unmatch-ville. Instead of asking her what she likes to do in bed, try asking her what flavor of ice cream she likes first. A few “get-to-know-her questions” might help.
3. “I think I love you”
No sir, you do not. You are in “love” with a few pictures that she put up on a dating profile. You’re in love with a bio that her friend wrote down because she was tired of overthinking about it. You’re in love with a name, a small description, and a few photos. That’s practically a small Wikipedia page.
Even if he doesn’t outrightly say something like “I love you,” he may even try to be a little too romantic. Sixteen “Hi Sugarplum”s later, you’ll be regretting the fact that you ever swiped on him.
4. The follow-her-everywhere guy
“Hey, you stopped replying on Tinder, so I just thought I’d follow you on Instagram and Facebook. I Googled your name and found your Snapchat as well, so we can snap now!” Sound the “creepy men” alarm; you’ve just found yourself a big one.
Are you thinking, “Surely THAT doesn’t happen, right?” Go ahead and ask literally any woman around you. We’re pretty sure they’ve all been through something similar. If you receive a follow from a guy on all your social media without giving him any, it’s the digital equivalent of him knocking at your window at night without you ever telling him where you live.
double, triple, incessant texter
The best Tinder openers are the ones that come naturally. But when messages like “Hey, what’s up?” are swiftly followed by “Where are you? You seem to be busy, haha” in a gap of ten minutes, it’s not the most charming thing ever. And when she finally does reply, she might be hit with a, “There she is! I thought I was being ghosted. Why didn’t you reply earlier?”
All that makes women want to do is uninstall the dating app right away, not tell you why she didn’t reply. It’s like YouTube incessantly asking you to purchase their premium plans. Their constant pings about it just make it more annoying, doesn’t it? Not the best flirt tactic.
6. Being condescending
Okay, granted, you can’t label this as “creepy”, but the number of men on dating apps who are condescending/chronic mansplainers/misogynistic is surreal. When it’s not a blatant attack on the “feminist” she wrote in her bio, they can often mansplain without even realizing it.
A friend of mine told me about the time a guy was mansplaining to her about what corporate tax is and how she doesn’t get it. She’s an accountant, by the way. As to why they were talking about tax on a dating app… I guess that’s how accountants flirt? Anyway, the point is, don’t be rude. It’s a basic netiquette rule, and being rude isn’t doing you any favors anyway.
Talking on dating apps isn’t as hard as people make it out to be. The fact that this person is hidden behind a profile and a screen may make it seem impersonal, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to ask her what she’s wearing after the first few messages. Just think of it as a regular conversation, sans phones.