Spirituality and Mythology

It is you who defines me the most: Karna’s love letter to Draupadi

He couldn't win her at the Swayamvar but had to watch from the sidelines for ever after
Draupadi vastraharan

Yajnaseni,

A letter that I will never send to you. But would love to believe that you know about it, nevertheless.

That day when a social networking site asked me to choose my ‘relationship status’, it took me aback. Which relationship is that, one that defines me, that spells out my identity, my self? Is it that wife, who is dutiful enough to play a wife and sensitive enough to not demand a husband of me, or that mother who loves me so or the one who leaves me so, or you? Really, is it you who defines me most? I’m afraid it’s you. And I swear, ‘it’s complicated!’

We have some uncanny similarities, don’t we?

For one, our families are the same. The Pandavas. And neither of us ever belonged, in a real sense. But again, how different we are in that. I’ve always yearned to live a life there, where my heart always belonged since the day I knew of it, with the worthiest of the brothers that a man can ever have. How much you had to give up, in your heart and your soul, to live there, to kill your sensibilities, to play wife to five brothers, to surrender and to not say a word.

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20 Comments

  1. Woah!!! What a lovely read and more!! A different conceptual thought, would love to see many more like this or may be a different angle yet.

  2. This is so beautifully written…loved it…I have always thought about this mystery…..and then there is another pair too Parashurama and Anamika……!!

  3. And yet, what I can not have was my choice. Despite the entreaties of Krishna, with you thrown in as the biggest temptation, among other things, it was my loyalty to my wives who didn’t demand a husband of me that stayed my hand.

  4. This is beautiful. So well written and every word so aptly used. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes because I have always loved these two characters and have cried at their incomplete lives.

  5. Very interesting starting from how Draupadi is addressed in this letter. Not Panchali, not Draupadi, not Krish na – it’s Yajnaseni. Her name itself came from seeking and praying to have her into a mortal life with a purpose. Very well written and well touched upon. Loved it.

    1. Don’t you wonder why, despite having such a worthy name, she was mostly called by other names defined on identities of relationships? What pity!

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