Sexual Soul Ties: Meaning, Signs, And How To Break Away

January 31, 2023 |
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Have you ever felt extremely drained after having sex with someone? Or has sexual intimacy with someone opened the doors for a deep emotional connection? If the answer is yes, these could be the signs you’re forming soul ties sexually. 

To dive deeper into the sexual soul ties meaning and how spiritual energy is exchanged during sex, we talked to relationship coach and astrologer Nishi Ahlawat, who specializes in numerology and tarot readings.

What Is A Sexual Soul Tie? 

Explaining the soul ties meaning, Nishi says, “There is this synastry of Mars and Venus in the charts of two people, through which we can figure out the strong sexual soul tie between them.”

But how do souls get tied together after sexual intercourse? You may not know this but energy gets exchanged during sex, not just on a physical level, but also on mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. This could be the case with your current partner, ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, or even someone you’re having casual sex with.

In other words, having a sexual relationship with someone might lead to a deeper connection. You might catch/internalize your sexual partner’s trauma, insecurities, and fears, without even realizing it. 

Psychotherapist Dr. Daniel Amen calls this phenomenon Limbic Bonding. He says, “Two people may decide to have sex ‘just for the fun of it’ yet something is occurring on another level that they might not have decided at all: sex is enhancing an emotional bond between them whether they want it or not.”

Related Reading: 11 Signs Of Magnetic Attraction Between Two People

Signs You Have Soul Ties Sexually

Sexual intimacy or even orgasms don’t always lead to the creation of soul ties. But when you have sex with someone, the odds of forming a soul tie with them increase significantly. So, here are some signs that you have formed soul ties sexually:

1. You’re obsessed with them

Do you have obsessive thoughts/strong feelings about a person even after they’ve let you know that they’re no longer interested in you? Do you experience headaches, stomach aches, sleepless nights, and loss of appetite on their account? This could be one of the signs you have formed soul ties sexually.

A soul tie with someone is a deep connection that cannot be explained (like an invisible thread/metaphorical cord tying two people together). This means you still feel tied to a sexual partner and you even dream about them sometimes, even if you’re no longer together. No matter how much time has passed, your feelings for this particular person are stronger than what you’ve felt for other people in your life.

There could also be other reasons for your obsession. Nishi says, “It could either be the influence of Rahu (the north node of the moon) in the person’s chart or some unresolved past relationship issues.” Unhealthy obsession can also be traced back to personality factors, childhood exposure to unhealthy relationships, or unresolved issues with significant people in your life. 

Related Reading: 11 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over Someone

2. You’ve taken their negative traits

As research points out, the bonding hormone oxytocin is released during sex. And this is why you might feel drawn and tied to your partner. Having sex with the same person over and over again might end up building a soul-tie-like attachment. You may even find that you’ve embraced some of the negative traits of your sexual partner. Hence, always pay attention to how you feel after a sexual encounter. Do you feel disappointed? Or excited/energized?

3. You’re not able to pull away

What’s the difference between soul tie, soulmate, and twin flame? Nishi says, “Soulmates’ journey is smoother as compared to twin flames. But when we use the word ‘tie’ to describe a soul connection, it means we are not free. Then, it becomes a karmic relationship.”

And, owing to this karmic relationship, you are not able to leave your soul tie connection, even when you know you’re unhappy. This form of an unhealthy attachment makes you overstay, even when your partner is controlling/manipulative.

4. You yearn for them

The fact that you yearn for them (to the extent that it may be unrequited love) could be one of the signs you’ve formed soul ties sexually. Maybe, the sexual relationship is over but not the everlasting emotional fantasy about them. Or maybe you still feel a spiritual connection to “the one that got away”.

Nishi points out, “A lot of factors are at play when you yearn for someone’s approval – your own soul journey, your sexual energies, and of course, the strong sexual attraction toward the other person.”

5. You’re having trouble forming healthy relationships with others

If you’re finding it difficult to form healthy relationships with others after a sexual encounter, it could be one of the indicators that you have formed soul ties sexually. You’ve become so enmeshed with someone (owing to the emotional bonding) that you are not able to move on from them.

R.C. Blakes, Jr. writes in his book Soul-Ties: Breaking the Ties That Bind, “Some of the consequences of soul-ties are: low self-esteem, an inability to be intimate with one another, and a misguided perspective on what love is.”

Finally, the concept of a sexual soul traces its origin to Christianity. The Bible’s interpretation says that sex leads to a powerful bond and hence is an activity reserved for married couples. The Bible talks about God’s promises, ungodly soul ties, and “two souls, one flesh”.

However, denying yourself the liberty to explore your sexuality and fulfill your sexual needs until you’re married is an archaic concept in today’s world. Experimenting with multiple people is a personal choice and an absolutely valid one. What you can do is break unhealthy soul ties to preserve your energy field and reduce the amount of clutter or emotional/spiritual/mental debris you have been accumulating along the way. This will help you in moving forward and make peace with your past relationships.

Related Reading: How The Spiritual Element Made Our Sex Even More Intense

How To Break A Soul Tie?

How to break a soul tie with an ex? Nishi emphasizes, “Forgiveness is the first step. Emotional cord-cutting is the next. And then comes acceptance of what is.” Hence, start with forgiving the person who hurt you, misled you, or took advantage of you. Here’s how you can do that:

1. Meditate/pray to forgive

Practice the following technique every day to break an unhealthy soul tie:

  • Sit still with your back straight
  • Focus on your breath and call on angels/spiritual guides for help
  • Imagine cutting a physical cord/rope tying you and your soul tie
  • Visualize a white light of compassion and forgiveness
  • Take a few deep breaths and open your eyes
  • Say your favorite prayer or simply express gratitude

Related Reading: What Is Forgiveness In Relationships And Why Is It Important

2. Cut them off

How to break a soul tie with an ex? Set boundaries. You shouldn’t be seeing them, texting, or calling them. You shouldn’t be stalking them on social media. You can even try to avoid meeting mutual friends or their family members for a while.

Also, discard all their gifts or objects that remind you of them. I know it is an extreme step but it can be cathartic to burn those belongings. Or you can just donate them. But really, stop wearing that watch your ex gifted you or sleeping in their t-shirt.

The idea is to free yourself from them. Free your mind, will, and emotions from their influence. If you feel compelled to have a final conversation with this person, do it to let them know that this unhealthy connection needs to end so you don’t fall into the same trap and further entangle your soul.

3. Write your feelings in a journal

Whenever dark, obsessive, and toxic feelings take you over, write them all out in a journal. You will definitely feel less constrained once you release all your feelings on a piece of paper. You can even address it as a letter to your ex, which you don’t have to necessarily send.

The believers in past lives say that a soul tie consists within it a hidden lesson. So, maybe, this soul-tie relationship can be a learning opportunity, teaching you how to surrender to the universe and let go. The more you journal, the more you can understand at a deeper level what this experience is trying to teach you. 

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4. Build up your self-esteem

Nishi says, “The word toxic is often used to describe soul ties. And that’s enough to tell you the impact they can have on your life. Toxic ties can completely drain you emotionally, mentally, and physically.” When a relationship ends, it can chip away at your self-esteem and may even make you hate yourself for your whole life.

To believe in yourself again, cut down on negative self-talk. Say encouraging words to yourself in the form of positive affirmations. Occupy yourself with activities that make you feel good about yourself. It could be dancing, going to the gym, or playing badminton.

5. How to break a soul tie? Seek professional help

Trying to figure out how to get rid of soul ties sexually is no easy feat, especially if you’re doing it all alone. Psychotherapist Sampreeti Das says, “Therapy can help figure out a lot of dilemmas that may be arising in the context of ending a relationship.

“Through therapy, you’ll gain new perspectives, discover unresolved issues, become aware of underlying triggers, and how to have control over them. The process allows for gaining much more subjective insight into your behavioral patterns making it easier to break them.”

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If you’re currently struggling with intense spiritual bonds that you can’t seem to shake off on your own, Bonobology has a multitude of experienced mental health professionals, who are willing to help you.

Key Pointers

  • You may develop a spiritual soul tie with your sexual partner without even realizing it
  • Most soul ties feel like an obsession connection at a physical, emotional, and spiritual level
  • Strong bonds like these come into your life to offer you a profound sense of learning
  • Spiritual ties leave you with the illusion that this person completes you
  • Such close relationships feel familiar but it becomes necessary to cut them off to preserve your sanity
  • You can use methods like journaling, praying to angels/spiritual guides, and cord-cutting meditation to break free from a sexual soul tie

Finally, when you develop a soul tie sexually, understand and analyze whether it’s a healthy relationship or a toxic one. If it’s a healthy soul tie, go ahead and experience it to the fullest. But if it’s an unhealthy or toxic soul tie, make the effort to disassociate yourself or get rid of it.

Yes, we know that the physical connection that you felt in your past romantic relationships is inexplicable/irreplaceable. But by holding onto that person forever, you’re hindering yourself and blocking your blessings. It is high time that you make space for a new relationship and find healthy ways to move on.


1. Do sexual soul ties affect men?

Yes, men get affected as much as women when they form soul ties sexually. But men are more subtle in their reaction to experiencing a soul tie. 

2. Can sexual soul ties be one-sided?

Yes, unrequited love amounts to one-sided soul ties. Maybe, the sexual relationship is over but not the everlasting emotional fantasy about them. Or maybe you still feel a spiritual connection to “the one that got away”.

3. What is a toxic soul tie?

A toxic soul tie is one that will harm you either mentally, spiritually, or physically. Since it’s an intense manifestation of the obsession you feel toward a person, a toxic soul tie can end up affecting other areas of your life negatively. 

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