Sexual Ties: Meaning, Signs, And Tips To Break Away

Spirituality and Mythology | | , Researcher & Content Writer
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Have you ever felt extremely drained after having sex with someone? Or has sexual intimacy with someone opened the doors for a deep emotional connection? If the answer is yes, these could be the signs you’re forming soul ties sexually. To dive deeper into sexual soul ties and how spiritual energy is exchanged during sex, we talked to relationship coach and astrologer Nishi Ahlawat, who specializes in numerology and tarot readings.

What Are Sexual Ties?

Explaining sexual ties, Nishi says, “There is a synastry of Mars and Venus in the charts of two people through which we can figure out the strong sexual soul tie between them.” But how is it that two souls are connected after sexual intercourse? You may not know this but energy gets exchanged during sex, not just on a physical level, but also on mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. This could happen with a current partner, ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, or even someone you’re having casual sex with.

In other words, having sex with someone might lead to a deeper spiritual connection such as sexual ties. You might catch/internalize your sexual partner’s trauma, insecurities, and fears through these sexual bonds, without even realizing it. 

Psychotherapist Dr. Daniel Amen calls this phenomenon Limbic Bonding. He says, “Two people may decide to have sex ‘just for the fun of it’ yet something is occurring on another level that they might not have decided at all: sex is enhancing an emotional bond between them whether they want an emotional relationship or not.”

Related Reading: 11 Signs Of Magnetic Attraction Between Two People

Signs Of Soul Ties Sexually

Sexual intimacy or even orgasms don’t always lead to the creation of sexual soul ties. But when you have sex with someone, the odds of forming a soul tie with them increase significantly since the physical body is entwined with the spiritual soul. More often than not, these turn out to be unhealthy soul ties. Here are some signs that you have formed a soul tie sexually with someone you’ve been intimate with:

1. You’re obsessed with them

Do you have obsessive thoughts/strong feelings about a person even after they’ve let you know that they’re no longer interested in you? Do you experience headaches, stomach aches, sleepless nights, and loss of appetite on their account? This could be one of the signs you have formed soul ties.

A soul tie with someone is a deep connection that cannot be explained (like an invisible thread/metaphorical cord tying two people together). This means you still feel tied to a sexual partner and you even dream about them sometimes, even if you’re no longer together. No matter how much time has passed, your feelings for this particular person are stronger than what you’ve felt for other people in your life.

Signs You Have Soul Ties Sexually

There could also be other reasons for these intense sexual bonds. Nishi says, “It could either be the influence of the north node of the moon in the person’s chart or some unresolved past relationship issues.” Unhealthy obsession can also be traced back to personality factors, childhood exposure to unhealthy relationships, or unresolved issues with significant people involved in your life.

Related Reading: 11 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over Someone

2. You’ve taken their negative traits

As research points out, the bonding hormone oxytocin is released during sex. And this is why you might experience sexual ties with your partner. Being physically intimate with the same person over and over again might end up building a soul-tie-like attachment. You may even find that you’ve embraced some of the negative traits of your sexual partner. Hence, always pay attention to what it feels like after a sexual encounter. Do you feel disappointed? Or excited/energized?

3. You’re not able to pull away

What’s the difference between spiritual soul ties, soulmates, and twin flames? Nishi says, “Soulmates’ journey is smoother as compared to twin flames. But when we use the word ‘tie’ to describe a soul connection, it means we are not free. Then, it becomes a karmic relationship.”

And, owing to this karmic relationship, you are not able to leave your soul tie connection, even when you know you’re unhappy. This form of an unhealthy attachment makes you overstay, even when your partner is controlling/manipulative, and is one of the key signs of soul ties.

4. You yearn for them

The fact that you yearn for them (even if it means reeling with the pain of unrequited love) could be one of the signs you’ve formed soul ties sexually. Maybe, the sex is over but not the everlasting emotional fantasy about them. Or maybe you still feel a spiritual connection to “the one that got away.”

Nishi points out, “A lot of factors are at play when you yearn for someone’s approval – your soul journey, your sexual energies, and of course, the strong sexual attraction toward the other person.”

5. You’re having trouble forming healthy relationships with others

If you’re finding it difficult to form healthy relationships with others after a sexual encounter, it could be one of the indicators that you have formed soul ties. You’ve become so enmeshed with your soulmate (owing to the emotional bonding) that you are not able to move on from them.

R.C. Blakes, Jr. writes in his book, Soul-Ties: Breaking the Ties That Bind, “Some of the consequences of soul-ties are: low self-esteem, an inability to be intimate with one another, and a misguided perspective on what love is.”

Related Reading: How The Spiritual Element Made Our Sex Even More Intense

6. You experience intense emotional swings

If you find yourself experiencing an emotional state of extreme highs and lows related to your sexual partner, it could be one of the biggest signs of soul ties. These intense swings may manifest as euphoria when things are going well or deep despair when faced with challenges or separation. This emotional turmoil when two souls are connected can indicate a strong and unhealthy attachment that goes beyond the physical aspect of the relationship.

7. You share a psychic connection

A psychic connection involves feeling the emotions, thoughts, or even physical sensations of your sexual partner, even when you are physically apart. If you consistently sense your partner’s feelings or thoughts without direct communication, it may signify a deep soul tie or a sense of spiritual intimacy. This seemingly life-changing connection can make it challenging to establish boundaries and maintain a sense of individuality within the relationship.

Related Reading: 8 Types Of Intimacy In A Relationship- And How To Work On Them

8. You feel drained or exhausted after being with them

If you consistently feel emotionally, mentally, or physically drained after engaging in sexual activities with your partner, it could be a sign of sexual ties. This exhaustion may be a result of the energetic exchange that occurs during intimate moments when two souls are connected. It’s essential to pay attention to how you feel after being with your partner to assess whether the connection is uplifting or causing emotional turmoil.

9. You keep going back despite negative consequences

Continuously returning to a sexual partner, even when you know the relationship is toxic or harmful to your emotional health, is a clear sign of sexual ties. Despite understanding the negative consequences, you may find yourself repeatedly drawn back to the person. This behavior suggests a deep-seated emotional and spiritual connection that overrides rational decision-making, indicating the presence of a strong soul tie.

The concept of a sexual soul traces its origin to Christianity. The Bible’s interpretation says that sex leads to a powerful bond and hence is an activity reserved for married couples. The Bible talks about God’s promises, ungodly soul ties, and “two souls, one flesh”.

However, denying yourself the liberty to explore your sexuality and fulfill your sexual needs until you’re married is an archaic concept in today’s world. Experimenting with multiple people is a personal choice and an absolutely valid one. What you can do is break unhealthy soul ties to preserve your energy field and reduce the amount of clutter or emotional/spiritual/mental debris you have been accumulating along the way. This will help you in moving forward and make peace with your past experiences.

How To Break Soul Ties Sexually

Explaining how to get rid of a soul tie, Nishi emphasizes, “Forgiveness is the first step in breaking soul ties. Emotional cord-cutting is the next. And then comes acceptance of what is.” Hence, start with forgiving the person who hurt you, misled you, or took advantage of you. Here’s how you can go about breaking a soul tie:

1. Meditate/pray to forgive

As a first step in breaking sexual ties, practice the following technique every day to break an unhealthy soul tie and prioritize your emotional well-being:

  • Sit still with your back straight
  • Focus on your breath and call on angels/spiritual guides for help
  • Imagine cutting a physical cord/rope tying you and your soul tie
  • Visualize a white light of compassion and forgiveness
  • Take a few deep breaths and open your eyes
  • Say your favorite prayer or simply express gratitude

Related Reading: What Is Forgiveness In Relationships And Why Is It Important

2. How to break soul ties — Cut them off

How to break a spiritual soul tie with an ex? Set boundaries. You shouldn’t be seeing them, texting, or calling them. You shouldn’t be stalking them on social media. You can even try to avoid meeting mutual friends or their family members for a while. Stick to your trusted friend circle.

Also, discard all their gifts or objects that remind you of them. I know it is an extreme step but it can be cathartic to burn those belongings. Or you can just donate them. But really, stop wearing that watch your ex gifted you or sleeping in their t-shirt.

The idea is to start breaking free from their negative energy for your emotional healing. Free your mind, will, and emotions from their influence. If you feel compelled to have a final conversation with this person, do it to let them know that this unhealthy connection needs to end so you don’t fall into the same trap and further entangle your soul.

3. Write your feelings in a journal

Whenever dark, obsessive, and toxic feelings take you over, write them all out in a journal — There is scientific evidence journaling is great for self-care and personal growth. You will definitely feel less constrained once you release all your feelings on a piece of paper. You can even address it as a letter to your ex, which you don’t have to necessarily send.

The believers in past lives say that a soul tie consists within it a hidden lesson. So, maybe, this soul-tie relationship can be a learning opportunity, teaching you how to surrender to the universe and let go of unhealthy sexual bonds. The more you journal, the more you can understand at a deeper level what this experience is trying to teach you, and thus help you in breaking a soul tie.

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4. Build up your self-esteem

Nishi says, “The word toxic is often used to describe unhealthy soul ties. And that’s enough to tell you the impact they can have on your life. Toxic ties can completely drain you emotionally, mentally, and physically.” When a relationship ends, it can chip away at your self-esteem and may even make you hate yourself for your whole life.

To believe in yourself again, cut down on negative self-talk. Say encouraging words to yourself in the form of positive affirmations. Occupy yourself with regular exercise to make you feel good about yourself while breaking a soul tie. It could be dancing, going to the gym, or playing badminton.

5. How to get rid of a soul tie — Seek professional help

Still wondering how to break soul ties sexually? Trying to figure out how to get rid of unhealthy soul ties is no easy feat, especially if you’re doing it all alone. Psychotherapist Sampreeti Das says, “Therapy can help figure out a lot of dilemmas that may be arising in the context of ending a relationship.

“Through therapy, you’ll gain new perspectives, discover unresolved issues, become aware of underlying triggers and how to have control over them, and also learn self-care and experience personal growth. The process allows for gaining much more subjective insight into your behavioral patterns making it easier to break them.”

If you’re currently struggling with intense spiritual bonds that you can’t seem to shake off on your own, Bonobology’s mental health services can help you through this challenging time.

Key Pointers

  • You may develop a spiritual soul tie with your sexual partner without even realizing it
  • Most soul ties feel like an obsession connection at a physical, emotional, and spiritual level
  • Strong bonds like these come into your life to offer you a profound sense of learning
  • Spiritual ties leave you with the illusion that this person completes you
  • Such close relationships feel familiar but it becomes necessary to cut them off to preserve your sanity
  • You can use methods like journaling, praying to angels/spiritual guides, and cord-cutting meditation to break free from a sexual soul tie

Finally, when you develop a soul tie sexually, understand and analyze whether it’s a healthy relationship or a toxic one. If it’s a healthy soul tie, go ahead and experience it to the fullest. But if it’s an unhealthy or toxic soul tie, make the effort to disassociate yourself or get rid of it for the sake of your well-being.

Yes, we know that the shared experiences and physical connection that you felt in your past romantic relationships are inexplicable/irreplaceable. But by holding onto that person forever, you’re hindering yourself and blocking your blessings. We hope you now have some clarity on how to get rid of a soul tie, and that it’ll allow you to make space for a new relationship in your life.


1. Do sexual soul ties affect men?

Yes, men are affected as much as women when they form soul ties. But men are more subtle in their reaction to experiencing a soul tie. 

2. Can sexual soul ties be one-sided?

Yes, unrequited love amounts to one-sided soul ties. Maybe, the sex is over but not the everlasting emotional fantasy about them. Or maybe you still feel a spiritual connection to “the one that got away”.

3. What is a toxic soul tie?

A toxic soul tie is one that will harm you either mentally, spiritually, or physically. Since it’s an intense manifestation of the obsession you feel toward a person, a toxic soul tie can end up affecting other areas of your life negatively. 

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