So, you’ve just bumped headfirst into someone while carrying a bunch of papers and immediately fallen in love? At least that’s how they do it in the movies. Even if the process of catching feelings may not have been so dramatic and instantaneous, once it happens, you desire nothing more than to have that person reciprocate your feelings. If you’re not quite sure if that’s the case, you’re probably spending a lot of time wondering how to make someone fall in love with you.
As always, we’re here to help. If you’re expecting a bunch of black magic tricks or coordinates to Cupid’s arrows, you should click away right about now. But if you’re here to do all you can to try and win this person over, you’ve come to the right place. Is there an answer to how to get someone to like you back without getting the voodoo books out? We sure can help you get started in that direction by helping you put your best foot forward so that your romantic interest sees you as a potential partner.
Stevie, a reader from Texas once wrote to us, “I see this incredibly cute guy at my bus stop every day. We spoke a few times and he has a really nice voice and chivalry of a true gentleman. Even though he seems out of my league, I want to try and sweep him off his feet. Is there a way to make someone fall in love with you? How to make someone fall deeply in love with you? Are there any psychological tricks to make someone fall in love with you? Is it possible to make someone fall in love with you? I have a thousand such questions. I don’t know how but all I want is to get him to fall in love with me. Can you help me?”
Many of us would relate to Stevie. If only finding love were easy! Since it’s not, let us try and provide you with some answers to the questions buzzing in your ears. So let’s begin with understanding what causes people to fall in love.
What Makes People Fall In Love
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Love is this crazy mix of feelings that comes from all sorts of stuff — how we think, how our bodies work, and how we fit into the world. Imagine clicking with someone because you both geek out over the same movies or care about saving the planet. Those shared interests build a bond that’s like the glue for any new relationship.
But wait, there’s a chemical party happening in our brains too! Oxytocin and dopamine are like lovey-dovey messengers, making us feel like the world is all sunshine and rainbows when we’re around our crush. Remember those butterflies in the stomach, that spring in your step, and the never-ending daydreams? Yup, that’s them at work.
Oh, and it’s not just about being attracted to someone’s physical appearance. It’s like this combo meal deal of finding them cute and feeling like you can open up to them completely. Sharing your secrets, having those deep conversations, and hanging out — that’s the secret sauce that turns a spark into a bonfire of emotions. So, if you’ve been wondering how to make someone love you forever, we hope you now understand that a lot of different elements of human connection need to align for that wish to come to pass.
Oswald, a reader from New Mexico City, writes, “I met this girl through some mutual friends a year ago. Since then we have become very close friends. She’s amazing and I think that I am falling more in love with her with each passing day. But she is in a long-term relationship. Is loving someone who is in a relationship okay? It is hard to see her with someone else.
“One day just to test the waters, I asked her, “How do I get a girl to fall in love with me?” She said I needed to communicate, and spend more time with the girl I like. True love is about understanding and acceptance. I wish there were some magical romantic words to make her fall in love with me instantly. What should I do?”
Well, dear Oswald, unfortunately, there are no magic words but there is a magic potion concocted with the little things like spending quality time, working on fostering emotional intimacy, and seasoning it with the right amount of physical attraction and flirtation. The more you hang out, the stronger the love potion gets. Going through stuff together, and supporting each other — that’s what makes romantic love this slow-cooked, heartwarming stew.
Related Reading: 23 Hidden Signs A Man Is Falling In Love With You
Can you make someone fall in love with you?
How to make someone love you forever? Can you? Well, to be brutally honest, there is no way to say for sure that you can make someone fall in love with you but we are not asking you to give up. Like many other emotions, love can also be controlled to some extent. In fact, psychologists have gone out on a limb to invoke the feelings of love between two strangers in a laboratory setup. Have you heard about Arthur Aron’s 36 questions that lead to love?
Once two people answer this highly personal set of questions with utmost honesty, followed by 4 minutes of staring into each other’s eyes, it’s bound to manifest signs of intimacy, if not create love in an instant. The psychology of intimacy is a fascinating subject to ponder over. Just like this, you can exploit how to make someone fall in love with you psychology, or as we like to call it — psychology hacks for attraction, to your advantage and get an edge on your potential partner’s list of favorite people.
So can you make someone fall in love with you? Well, we think it’s safe to say that you can try to make genuine efforts consistently, and let them see how much they mean to you. Leave the rest to fate, hoping the universe will reward your persistence someday.
Related Reading: 15 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest In The Relationship
How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You – 13 Tried And Tested Tips
Whether you’re trying to make someone fall in love with you or are wondering how to get someone to like you back, the first order of business is to be 100% sure of how you feel about them. Are you sure you like this person or are there clear signs of infatuation all over the place? No, eye contact for 1.7 seconds doesn’t equate to love. A shared love for pizza and Oreo ice cream does not warrant an “OMG, we have so much in common!”
The point is, figure out if it’s actually love you feel toward this person or if a temporary infatuation has taken hold of you. Speaking of things to consider while you’re trying to figure out how to make someone fall in love with you, understand that you can’t really ‘make’ them do anything. Ideally, you should be with someone who wants to be with you. Then what’s the point of asking, “Is there a way to make someone fall in love with you? or How to make someone fall in love with you through text?” Well yes, yes there is.
You may not have this person enchanted under your spell, but at least you can increase your chances of getting what you really want: someone to watch TV with at all times. Now that the PSA is over (sorry), let’s get into how you can get someone to be absolutely OBSESSED with you. We’re kidding, of course. At most, they’re going to reply a bit faster to your texts. Kidding again. But if you’re lucky, you might just get into a happy, healthy relationship with them. Let’s roll the dice.
1. Fix yourself first
Got any issues? Fix them. Are you someone who is scared of commitments or someone who has an insecure attachment style? The psychology tricks for love aren’t going to work if you’re a ball of anxiety on the first date, always trying to nervously look away from any eye contact you establish. So, the first step is to look within.
Issues you have with your mental state aren’t like the check engine light on your car’s dashboard that you conveniently ignore. Or the suspicious noise from the engine that you successfully avoid by turning the music up louder. So, find a way to tone down the intensity of these problems that often come in the way of your love life. Seek help from a professional relationship coach who could help you navigate through your romantic feelings by helping you heal from the flaws inflicted on you by your past.
Related Reading: 20 Ways To Make Your Husband Fall In Love With You Again
2. Be your best self
Are you trying to figure out how to make someone fall in love with you without talking to them? Do you want that connection at first sight, when you look at each other through a crowded room and immediately know there’s something there? You’re only going to get someone to look at you when you’re happy with yourself.
You can’t have anyone else love you for who you are unless you love yourself and help them in getting to know the real you. When you’re your best self, happy and exuding positive vibes, you’re going to attract similar energy too. Here are a few ways you can be the best version of yourself that will be attractive to anyone:
- Embrace your true self, quirks and all, to create a genuine and lasting connection
- Listen actively, ask questions, and engage in your romantic interest’s passions to demonstrate your genuine curiosity
- Display empathy, kindness, and respect toward others, reflecting your compassionate nature
- Choose outfits that make you feel good and reflect your style, boosting your self-esteem and body language
- Pay close attention to personal hygiene and grooming, showing that you take care of yourself
3. Get into the things they love
Is he the biggest baseball fan ever? You better read up on Babe Ruth so you can babe him up someday. It is the best way of making a guy fall in love with you. Are they the biggest Grey’s Anatomy fan? I know, 18 seasons sounds like a lot, but you should probably try and get into it. The more things you two have in common, the easier it’ll be to start a conversation with this person. This way, you’ll make sure you won’t be texting them, “Sooo…what’s up?”, every twenty minutes. Avoid being a dry texter at all costs, it is majorly off-putting.
4. But maintain your own personality too
Just because you’re getting into the things they like, doesn’t mean you let go of the things that make you, you. Don’t get so absorbed in the 18 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy that you blow off that action movie that just came out. Be authentic with your own passions and experiences while you make space to explore the things they like.
To make someone fall in love with you without them knowing about it, you need to be as interesting as possible. Talk about when you were backpacking across Western Europe and saw a beautiful woman wailing while bathing herself. They won’t even realize how intrigued they are. Joey Tribbiani would be proud of you!
5. Don’t just lend, give them your ear
When they’re talking, listen. How to get someone to like you romantically is really as simple as that. In your quest to try to impress and engage this person with your fascinating travel stories, don’t forget to listen to them when they’re talking. If a conversation feels like you’re just waiting for them to finish talking so you can continue to speak, they’re probably waiting for it to get over so they can continue avoiding you.
Listen, and make it clear that you’re invested in whatever they’re saying. It is very comforting to know that apart from ourselves, someone else understands us, isn’t it? So, be a good listener. Especially when you’re trying to make someone fall in love with you long-distance, here are a few tips that will make you a better listener:
- Respond with thoughtful questions and comments, demonstrating your genuine interest in whatever they have to say
- Let them finish speaking before adding your input, ensuring they feel heard and respected
- Make them feel safe baring their heart to you by lending a patient ear and a shoulder to lean on whenever they need to vent
6. Make them feel validated
And while you’re listening (or reading their messages), validate their experiences, struggles, and accomplishments. Remember, most of the time, they may not be sharing things for you because they want you to offer solutions or fix a situation for them. In all likelihood, they just want to feel heard and understood. So, unless they ask you, “What should I do? Can you help?”, just listen and let them know you’re there for them.
When you do it right, you can improve any relationship by listening. Even if you don’t have any positive things to say to alleviate their pain, just listening and being there are enough sometimes. Someone who has been hurt before might have a hard time believing that they are worthy of love. Take your chance to make them feel special, treat them like they’re the most interesting person in the building, and make them feel supported. Sometimes, to make someone fall in love with you without them knowing, all you need to do is nod your head and say, “That sucks, I’m so sorry.”
7. Make someone fall in love with you without talking by letting your eyes express
If you’re on your phone while they’re passionately talking about that time they won the spelling bee, they’re probably not going to follow it up with another story. Look into their eyes more often, establish eye contact, and let them know you’re not nervous to the point where you have to avoid their gaze (even if you are). How to make someone fall in love with you without talking, you ask? This is how.
Studies say couples that share more affection, look into each other’s eyes more often than those who don’t. Put the research-validated how to make someone fall in love with you psychology to good use and look your love interest in the eye. Remember eye contact attraction could make you instantly desirable.
8. Make someone fall in love with you through texts by not replying instantly
We know, we know. The sudden release of dopamine when you see their name come up on your phone is unparalleled. While you may want to immediately open their text and reply to them, that’s not really how you make someone fall in love with you through texts. It might leave you susceptible to being taken for granted.
One way is to be more rational about your response. Engage in a conversation if you have the time and mind space for it. If not, politely communicate your current situation with them and give them a better time. And of course, make sure you follow through. Here are a few tips that will help you text that special someone off their feet:
- Share intriguing stories, mutual interests, and thought-provoking questions to keep the conversation lively
- Inject light-hearted humor and friendly teasing to create a playful and comfortable dynamic
- Offer sincere and specific compliments that show you’re paying attention and appreciate their qualities also subtly revealing your feelings to your love interest
- Open up about your feelings, experiences, and aspirations, fostering a deeper emotional bond
- Respect their response time, balance your texts, and avoid overwhelming them, allowing the connection to develop naturally
9. But don’t act like you don’t care
There’s a fine line between trying to not seem desperate and ending up manipulating them through a scarcity mindset. If you make them feel you’re intentionally withdrawing communication for hours/days on end, playing hard to get can backfire. When figuring out how to get someone to like you romantically, the key is to find the right balance in communication. Don’t text them 2 seconds after they send you a text, but don’t make them wait 1.5 business days either.
10. Being nice is how you make someone fall in love with you
Not only will a genuine smile make them think you’re interested, but studies also claim that you’re more attractive when you smile. Think about it, you probably wouldn’t talk to someone who’s always in a bad mood, would you? On the contrary, you’d always want to speak to someone who effortlessly lifts your mood.
So the next time you go up to this person you’re crushing over, make sure you’re donning an infectious smile. You’ll be making them fall in love with you without them knowing it. Who knew a smile could end up being all you need? Plus, you look hotter while doing it too. It is the best and the simplest answer to the question of how to make your crush fall in love with you fast.
11. Touch them, but do it appropriately
While we’re on the subject of how to make someone fall in love with you psychology, studies claim couples that indulge in more physical affection tend to be more satisfied overall. Plus, it’s also one of the best ways to show affection. Although, be careful about this if you’re not very close to this person.
A hug and a casual hand on the back are okay if you’re already good friends and might see the sparks flying about, but putting your hand on this person’s shoulder at work may not work out too well for your romantic or professional prospects. Read the room. If you’re looking to make someone fall in love with you long-distance, however, don’t get too disheartened by this point. You can always hop on a video call and greet them with that killer smile you have going on.
Related Reading: How To Start A Conversation With A Guy – 30 Tips
12. Prove that you’re trustworthy and you care
When you want to make someone fall for you, proving that you’re worth their time and trust is paramount. Being reliable is an admirable quality that everyone respects and looks for in a partner. Nobody likes a phony who makes lofty promises to win over another person’s affection but doesn’t follow through on them. Here are a few tips for you to keep in mind when you’re trying to show off your trustworthy reliable side:
- Demonstrate reliability and consistency in your actions and words to build a foundation of trust
- Be transparent and truthful, even if it’s difficult, to establish a reputation as a trustworthy individual
- Honor their privacy and boundaries and practice empathy, showcasing your respect for their personal space and feelings
- Follow through on commitments and promises, showing that your words hold weight and are dependable
- Offer unwavering support and a listening ear, proving that you’re there for them through thick and thin
13. Spend quality time together
Go out on dates with them (if you still haven’t asked them out, what are you waiting for?), do new things with them that they like doing, and have a laugh together. You can use all the psychology tricks for love but unless you actually spend time with this person, you’re not going to get the ball rolling.
If you want that special person to not just fall but to keep falling in love with you, understanding them at a deeper level and letting them understand you is the best way to go. It can be addressed as love only when you’ve spent enough time together and have come to accept all parts, beauty, and scars, of each other.
- Love is this crazy mix of feelings that comes a mix of elements like mutual admiration for each other’s qualities and characteristics, shared moments of vulnerability, and an emotional connection
- The process of falling in love typically begins after the initial rush of infatuation and attraction begins to settle down
- To make someone fall for you, you can start by building genuine rapport through active listening, empathy, and understanding
- Showcase your authentic self while highlighting compatible traits and shared interests
- Remember, authenticity and respect are key; aim to foster a deep connection by being yourself and treating the person with kindness and consideration
How to make someone fall in love with you can really be as easy as looking into their eyes and smiling. Be careful, though, stalking them and looking like a serial killer smiling at his next victim wouldn’t really be a good idea. Be yourself, take a shower, and spend some time with them. Go get ’em, tiger! We hope that the insights you explored in this article will help you start a beautiful love story and joyfully feel the bliss of a long-term loving relationship.
Common grounds of liking, similar opinions, background, physical attractiveness, empathy, emotional connection, sense of humor, and ease of communication are some of the major factors that contribute to the process of falling in love. But be aware that establishing an authentic bond with someone takes time. Even when you tick all the boxes, patience will be the last on the list of boxes. Make sure you tick that too.
There are no fool-proof techniques to make someone fall in love with you. But there are many strategies backed by science and psychology to impress that person and develop a sense of intimacy with them.