If you’ve had your fair share of men who decide to back away after the first sign of commitment, you’re probably looking for someone who you can consider a high-value man. But in a world where someone who holds the door open for you can seem like the nicest guy you’ve come across in a while, how do you even spot someone who’s genuinely a gem? What do high-value man traits look like?
Is he flush with cash? Or is he the kind of guy who just knows what you want? Does he walk around with a halo behind his head or is he a needle in the haystack you’re going to have to pick out?
Let’s take a look at the high-value man traits so you can differentiate between someone you know will have your best interests in mind and someone who’ll probably ghost you the minute you say something like “So, where do you see this going?”
Traits Of A High-Value Man
Will a high-value man know all the right things to say and understand exactly what you’re feeling? Probably not. He’s still a man, not a god. Jokes aside, when you meet a high-quality man, you can expect certain characteristics like respect and class to be on display.
It’s easy to let your expectations run wild when you’re thinking about the man of your dreams. He’s probably going to know how to cook, is considerate, and most importantly, knows when you’re just looking for him to listen to your problems, not solve them. Right? Well, good luck with that.
Call him an alpha or a sigma male, or any other Greek alphabet if you will, the only thing a high-quality man is concerned with, is trying to evolve into his best possible self. To make sure you don’t let one slip, or just to be able to distinguish classy men from those who are masquerading as one, let’s take a look at the high-value man traits you need to be aware of:
1. He looks after himself
No, he’s not going to be the only one shining through amongst a score of men, blinding you with his 10/10 smile. Simply put, a man who cares about himself will look after himself to maintain good health.
Be it physical or mental care, he knows the importance of treating one’s body and mind with respect. The most noticeable trait of a good man is one who’s not addicted to vices like alcohol and drugs (or Oreos). He probably works out, practices good mental health, and he’s not going to be afraid to seek out help when he knows he requires it.
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2. He has a clear purpose
What drives you to wake up every day, tackle the challenges to the best of your abilities, and strive to grow? If he unironically answers with something like “Beer”, maybe it’s best you move on.
When you’re dating a high-value man, you’ll see the ambition in him to always achieve a greater goal that drives him. Be it wealth, satisfaction, happiness or whatever holds importance in his life, the point is that this purpose will drive him to always strive for growth.
3. He’s self-aware
Have you ever seen a “man” (notice the quotation marks) assume responsibility for a task of which he has little or no knowledge? To no one’s surprise, he might end up not getting the task done or doing a pretty bad job at it. In his attempts to salvage his self-respect, he may even play it off as no big deal or boast about his meager accomplishments.
A high-quality man, on the other hand, knows what he’s capable of and what he isn’t. He isn’t too ashamed to admit when he doesn’t have knowledge about something and is never afraid to learn.
He knows what he wants and he knows how to get there. No, he won’t lie about knowing how to drive a truck to appear manly and end up jamming the gears.
4. He doesn’t conform to the stereotypical notions of “manliness”
While we’re on the subject of manliness, it’s important to note that a man whose aim is to be the best version of himself isn’t obsessed with appearing “manly”.
Though he may believe in stoicism, he doesn’t believe in suppression of emotions. Though he believes in being reliable, he doesn’t believe in solely being the “head” of the house. Though he believes in being knowledgeable, he realizes there’s nothing wrong with accepting a lack of knowledge.
According to psychiatrist Carl Jung, a woman should not repress her masculine attributes (what Jung called the animus) and should celebrate them. Similarly, men should not repress their feminine features (I.e, the anima) in order to achieve their true potential. When you’re on a quest to be a good man, the journey starts by replacing the word “man” with “person”.
5. Growth is the name of the game
Whether you’re figuring out how to be a high-value man or just trying to understand the traits of a good man, the ideals of constantly chasing growth is what sets these men apart from the rest.
You won’t see him suddenly in a state of contentment regarding his career and/or future goals. Sure, he’ll pick the occasional Netflix and chill with you. But you can bet your top dollar that he’s always concerned about wanting to grow financially, emotionally, or intellectually.
6. High-quality men take responsibility for their actions
“My friends forced me to get drunk, I couldn’t help it” or “She forced herself on to me, I didn’t want to cheat on you” are things you’ll never hear a self-respecting person say. Despite how hard it may be, he’s not going to be afraid to take complete responsibility for his actions and ‘fess up.
If you’re figuring out how to be a high-value man, it doesn’t mean you should immediately confess to everything you ever did wrong. The next time you mess up, take responsibility instead of shifting the blame.
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7. Confidence is a common high-value man trait
Remember what we said about this kind of man not being afraid of learning new things? Once he’s confident in his knowledge and capabilities, he’s never going to shy away from a challenge. Be it confidently approaching someone at a bar or fighting for that promotion he knows he should get, he never lets his confidence waver.
Be careful of the nuances between being assertive and hiding damaging narcissistic tendencies behind a veil of confidence. Just because he believes in himself doesn’t mean his apathy can be excused.
8. He doesn’t cry over spilt milk
Meaning, the emotional intelligence he displays allows him to deal with the problems life throws his way. Sure, grief gets anyone down and it’s necessary and understandable to mourn a loss, but someone who’s emotionally mature is not going to let loss define him/her.
When you’re dating a high-value man, you’ll notice he tries to answer “What next?” instead of letting grief control his behavior.
9. A high-quality man demands respect without asking for it
Have you ever been in the presence of someone whose aura and presence demanded respect? They may not even have to say a word or make a scene, the way they walk in makes it apparent they’re not there to mess around.
That’s not to say, however, that a high-quality man will never be able to crack a smile. They’ll find a way to balance being humorous while demanding respect.
10. Respectful, consistent and reliable
Being a good man isn’t a month-long charade you partake in before you go back to your old ways. You’ll notice this man being extremely consistent with the way he approaches the world, and you can always count on him.
What separates a decent human being from the rest is the basic respect they give to everyone. You won’t see this man cause a scene at the restaurant because his “well done” steak isn’t burned to ash.
How To Attract A High-Value Man
Now that you’re better able to distinguish between those who are driven to improve themselves and the guys who are going to hit up your friends after ghosting you, how to attract a high-quality man is the next logical question.
Let’s take a look at a few things you can do when you’re trying to find yourself one of the “good guys” you say you’ve never come across in your life.
1. Attracting a high-value man comes easy when you’re a high-value woman
Simply put, to attract a high-quality man, you must also strive to believe in the same morals men like him believe in. Try to grow yourself as a person, have a clear purpose, and try to achieve growth to the best of your capabilities.
When a man sees a woman who’s unapologetically breezing through life, he won’t be able to help but be attracted by her charisma.
2. A team player, not a damsel in distress
Someone who’s highly motivated, focused, and determined to improve is not looking for distractions. I.e, he’s not going to want his companion to be slowing him down in his quest for growth. Rather, he’ll be looking for someone with whom he can grow, together.
If you complement his capabilities and he complements yours, he’s going to want to pursue your dynamic since he sees benefit in it. No, don’t worry, financial or intellectual benefit isn’t the only thing keeping him around. He wouldn’t be human if he didn’t let himself love you.
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3. The girl who’s got it figured out
No, you don’t need to have a yearly plan for “growth” and “profits” with pie graphs of your own success. What we mean is, a general idea of what you want in life and how to get there is going to help. Confidence and charisma are what men notice about women in the first meeting.
Having a plan and an ambition to get there is all it takes to appear confident in yourself. Once a high-quality man sees that in you, you’re going to find yourself on a date with him.
Aside from the most basic methods of attracting a high-value man, common methods such as being humorous, vulnerable, and interesting will also help. What’s important, at the end of the day, is how his values align with yours.
Every person has a unique set of qualities and imperfections. High-value man traits look appealing on paper, but might not necessarily translate too well in a relationship. What if all he’s focused on is his career? Technically, that’s still one of the traits of a high-value man, right? So, don’t be too worried about spotting the best of the bunch, find someone you’re compatible with, and roll the dice.
The best ways to keep high value are by being motivated, having a purpose in mind and developing a plan to get there. Practice emotional intelligence and stoicism, but do not run away from emotional confrontations
High-value men come in all shapes and sizes. There aren’t any distinct physical features that will tell you who is a high-quality man and who isn’t. Although, the aura of confidence they exuberate might give it away.
The most attractive quality in a man is highly subjective, but most agree that being respectful, charming and taking care of themselves are all sought-after characteristics men should have
To date a high-quality man, strive to get closer to the best version of yourself. When a man sees you trying to achieve growth in life just like he is, he will undoubtedly be attracted to you and would want to be with you.