If you’ve had your fair share of romances where the other person decides to back away after the first sign of commitment, you’re probably looking for someone whom you can consider a high-value man. But in a world where someone who holds the door open for you can seem like a nice guy, how do you even spot someone who’s genuinely a gem? What do signs of a high-value man look like?
Is he the kind of guy who just knows what you want? Does he walk around with a halo behind his head or is he a needle in the haystack you’re going to have to pick out? What attachment styles to watch out for? Is physical strength or ripped muscles an important factor or should one should look for a nerd?
Let’s take a look at the high-value male traits so you can differentiate between someone you know will have your best interests in mind versus someone who’ll probably ghost you the minute you say something like “Where do you see this going?” So, how do you differentiate between low-value men from the high-quality ones? Let’s find out.
13 Traits Of A High-Value Man
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Will a high-value man know all the right things to say and understand exactly what you’re feeling? Probably not. He’s still a man, not a god. Jokes aside, respect, honesty, and maturity are some of the characteristics of a high-value man. It’s easy to let your expectations run wild when you’re thinking about the man of your dreams. He’s probably going to know how to cook, is considerate, and most importantly, knows when you’re just looking for him to listen to your problems, not solve them. Right? Well, good luck with that.
Call him an alpha, a sigma male, or a lone wolf, or any other Greek alphabet if you will, the only thing a high-quality man is concerned with is trying to evolve into his best possible self. To make sure you don’t let one slip, or just to be able to distinguish a nice man from those who are masquerading as one, let’s take a look at the qualities of a high-value man you need to be aware of:
1. He looks after himself
A man who cares about himself will look after himself to maintain good physical health. Most men think looking after oneself solely revolves around physical appearance, but that is where the journey only begins.
Be it physical or mental care, he knows the importance of treating one’s body and mind with respect. The most noticeable trait of a good man is one who’s not addicted to vices like alcohol and drugs (or Oreos). He probably works out, practices good mental health, respects yours, and is not afraid to seek help when he knows he requires it.
2. He has a clear purpose
What drives you to wake up every day, tackle the challenges to the best of your abilities, and strive to grow? If he unironically answers with something like “beer,” maybe it’s best you move on. But if you see that he takes responsibility for his story and is its main character who is purpose-driven, you should try and get to know him better.
When you’re dating a high-value man, you’ll see the ambition in him to achieve a greater goal that drives him. Be it financial stability, satisfaction, happiness, peace, or whatever holds importance in his life, the point is that this purpose will drive him to always strive for growth. He will take control of the narrative of his own life.
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3. He’s self-aware
Have you ever seen a man assume responsibility for a task of which he has little or no knowledge? To no one’s surprise, he might end up not getting the task done or does a pretty bad job at it. In his attempts to salvage his self-respect, he may even play it off as no big deal or boast about his meager accomplishments.
A high-quality man, on the other hand, knows what he’s capable of and what he isn’t. That’s the sign of a confident man. He isn’t ashamed to admit when he doesn’t know something, and is never afraid to learn. He won’t lie about knowing how to drive a truck to appear manly and end up jamming the gears. Self-awareness is not just effective, but it is quite sexy too. A high-quality man acknowledges his capabilities and limitations in a way that neither seeks compliments nor sympathy.
4. He doesn’t conform to the stereotypical notions of “manliness”
While we’re on the subject of manliness, it’s important to note that a man whose aim is to be the best version of himself isn’t obsessed with appearing “manly.” Though he may believe in stoicism, he doesn’t believe in the suppression of natural emotions. Though he believes in being reliable, he doesn’t believe in solely being the “head of the house.” Though he believes in being knowledgeable, he realizes there’s nothing wrong with accepting a lack of knowledge.
According to psychiatrist Carl Jung, a woman should not repress her masculine attributes (what Jung called the animus) and should celebrate them. Similarly, men should not repress their feminine features (i.e., the anima) in order to achieve their true potential. When you’re on a quest to be a good man, the journey starts by replacing the word “man” with “person.”
Related Reading: 15 Relationship Red Flags In A Man To Be Watchful Of
5. Growth is the name of the game
Whether you’re figuring out how to be a high-value man or just trying to understand the general traits of a good man, you’ll notice the common ideal of constantly chasing growth in such men. It is what sets them apart from the rest.
You won’t see him feeling content with regards to a stagnant career and/or future goals. Sure, he’d love to do the occasional ‘Netflix and chill’ with you. But you can bet your top dollar that he’s also concerned about wanting to grow emotionally and intellectually. He also wishes to grow financially, but the intent is not to seek power over others, but to have more agency in his own life.
6. High-quality men take responsibility for their actions
“My friends forced me to get drunk, I couldn’t help it” or “She forced herself on to me, I didn’t want to cheat on you” are things you’ll never hear a self-respecting person say. Despite how hard it may be, he’s not going to be afraid to take complete responsibility for his actions and ‘fess up.
If you’re figuring out how to be a high-value man, it doesn’t mean you should start confessing everything you ever did wrong. The next time you mess up, just take responsibility instead of shifting the blame. And if there are unresolved issues or mistakes in the past that still haunt you, then yes, go ahead and apologize. But don’t expect to be forgiven.
Related Reading: Confessing Cheating To Your Partner: 11 Expert Tips
7. Confidence is a common high-value man trait
Remember what we said about this kind of man not being afraid of learning new things? Once he’s confident in his knowledge and capabilities, he’s never going to shy away from a challenge. Be it confidently approaching someone at a bar or fighting for that promotion he knows he should get, he doesn’t let his confidence and self-esteem waver. Just be careful of the nuances between being assertive and narcissistic tendencies.
- A confident guy approaches challenges with a sense of determination and optimism, rather than fear or hesitancy
- He maintains his self-esteem even when facing obstacles or setbacks
- He maintains his value systems in situations that are uncomfortable or intimidating
- He doesn’t let his confidence be an excuse for apathy or neglecting the needs and feelings of others
8. He doesn’t cry over spilled milk
Meaning, the emotional intelligence he displays allows him to deal with the problems life throws his way. Sure, grief gets anyone down and it’s necessary and understandable to mourn a loss, but someone who’s emotionally mature is not going to let a loss define them. A high-value man understands how to move forward after setbacks.
When you’re dating a high-value man, you’ll notice he tries to answer “What next?” instead of letting grief control his behavior forever. You will also notice this in his secure attachment style. He wouldn’t avoid conflicts and difficult conversations because he knows he’ll be able to navigate any situation gracefully.
9. A high-quality man demands respect without asking for it
Have you ever been in the presence of someone whose aura and presence demanded respect? They may not even have to say a word or make a scene; the way they walk makes it apparent that they’re not here to mess around. If there is a single trait that defines a high-value man best, it is this.
A high-quality man easily cracks a smile too. Being vulnerable and laughing with everyone and not ‘at’ anyone is his way of balancing humor while demanding respect.
10. He is respectful, consistent, and reliable
One more green flag that separates a decent human being from others is their ability to handle situations with grace and humility. When faced with disappointment or frustration, a good man remains composed and respectful. He does not resort to anger, aggression, or rude behavior, even in situations such as a poorly cooked steak at a restaurant or a breakup from someone he loves.
Instead, he communicates calmly and respectfully, finding solutions without causing a scene or disrespecting others. This ability to navigate difficult situations with maturity and emotional intelligence is a clear green flag that sets him apart as someone who embodies the qualities of a decent human being.
11. He is financially mature
A man who takes responsibility and is financially savvy is in control of his finances but his money does not control him. Having a clear understanding of budgeting and living within his means, he is not drowning in debt and has a good chance of achieving financial stability. This doesn’t necessarily mean he is loaded, but he constantly looks to grow through conscious exploration of optimum higher income potential.
It is essential to consider how a man manages his finances, even after going through a financial setback. We all know how money issues can ruin relationships. Is he making wise decisions with his money, or is he reckless? This is a crucial factor to consider when contemplating a partnership with someone. A man of value can achieve financial independence and will take responsibility for his income.
- A responsible man pays off his debts on time
- He shows up to work diligently and has inspiring work ethics
- Financial setbacks do not deter him from making wise decisions with his money
- He takes responsibility for his income and actively seeks opportunities to grow it
- A man’s financial management skills are crucial to consider when evaluating a potential partner
- A responsible man recognizes the importance of saving and investing for the future and takes steps to ensure financial security for himself and his loved ones
Related Reading: Money And Marriage – Tips For A Financially Successful Marriage
12. He is high on emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is one of the crucial signs of a high-value man. Here are some of his attractive traits:
- This man possesses a deep understanding of his own emotions and manages them effectively
- He communicates effectively, resolves conflicts calmly, and leads by example
- A high-value male with emotional intelligence empathizes with others and is attentive to their emotions, thoughts, and feelings
- He builds strong relationships, and encourages others to be their best selves
- He won’t try to hide his darker side but would embrace it
- He recognizes others’ strengths and weaknesses, provides constructive feedback, and creates a positive and supportive environment
- Emotional intelligence is an essential trait that helps a man be a great communicator and a leader
- A high-value man in a relationship will always look to build healthy relationships around real values and mutual growth. His love life would be safe, secure, and free of unnecessary drama
13. A high-value man has an impeccable sense of humor
A good sense of humor is a highly attractive and endearing trait of a high-value man. He has the ability to make others laugh, and he uses humor to diffuse tense situations, make others feel comfortable, and build strong connections. A man with a good sense of humor is also confident and self-assured, which is an incredibly attractive quality.
He is able to laugh at himself, not take himself too seriously, and is not afraid to show vulnerability. A good sense of humor can also be indicative of intelligence and creativity, as it requires quick wit and a sharp mind to make others laugh. Overall, a good sense of humor is a key trait of a high-value male that makes him approachable, likable, and fun to be around.
Related Reading: What Qualities In Men Attract Women The Most?
How To Be A High-Value Man? — 5 Tips
This part is for the guys who are looking to be the best versions of themselves. Becoming a high-quality man requires a combination of several traits and behaviors. We went through 13 such qualities of a high-value man that anyone could imbibe to become highly regarded in the eyes of others and themselves. But there are a few things that often get neglected and make up the difference between a high-value man and just another ‘macho’ guy. These tips go beyond the more commonly known traits and delve into lesser-known ways to help you become the best version of yourself.
1. Cultivate a growth mindset
A high-value man never stops growing and learning. Cultivating a growth mindset means embracing challenges (including relationship challenges) and seeing them as opportunities for growth rather than having a fixed mindset. It means learning from failure and seeing it as a necessary step toward success. A growth mindset is a powerful tool for developing resilience, adaptability, and the ability to take risks. It also means seeking new experiences and being open to new perspectives and ideas.
2. Develop a strong social circle
Such a man has a strong network of supportive friends and family. Having a strong social circle can provide emotional support, social connections, and a sense of belonging. It can also help you develop important social skills like empathy, active listening, and conflict resolution. Building and maintaining healthy relationships takes effort and requires active participation. It means being present, showing up, and being supportive of others in their times of need.
3. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and non-judgmentally observing your thoughts and feelings. Practicing mindfulness can help you manage stress, regulate your emotions, and improve your focus and productivity. It can also help you develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance, which then extends to others.
When you’re being mindful, you’re paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations in the present moment, without judgment or attachment. It means you’re taking time to reflect on your experiences and learning from them. It also helps you avoid fixed mindsets and focus on mental flexibility.
4. Develop your personal style
A high-value male pays attention to his personal style and grooming. It helps you feel more confident and attractive, and it can also help you stand out from the crowd. This doesn’t mean following every fashion trend, but rather finding a style that is comfortable, authentic, and reflects your personality. It means taking care of your physical appearance, practicing good hygiene, and being intentional about the clothes you wear and how you present yourself to the world.
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5. Volunteer and give back
A high-value male is compassionate and community-oriented. Volunteering and giving back to your community can help you develop a sense of purpose, increase your empathy and understanding of others, and contribute to a better world. It can also help you develop important leadership skills and a sense of gratitude for what you have. Such a man leads by example.
Giving back can take many forms, from volunteering your time at a local charity to donating money or valuable resources to a cause you care about. It means being aware of the needs of others and taking action to help meet those needs in meaningful ways. And then to NOT brag about it.
How To Attract A High-Value Man
Now, for those who want such high-quality men in their lives, you need to buckle up too. We’ve helped you distinguish between those who are driven to improve themselves and the guys who are going to hit up your friends after ghosting you. So, how to attract a high-quality man to you must be the next logical question. Attracting a high-value man requires more than just good looks. It involves cultivating inner qualities and behaviors that are appealing to a man of value and character.
- To attract a high-value man, it’s important to work on your attachment style and ensure that it is healthy and secure
- Build your self-confidence by setting and achieving goals, taking care of yourself, and practicing self-love
- Cultivate a strong sense of purpose by pursuing your passions, developing your skills, and contributing to your community
- Show your independence by maintaining your own interests, hobbies, and friendships, while also being open to building a partnership
- Develop emotional intelligence by practicing empathy, active listening, and effective communication
- Be authentic and true to yourself, while also being open to learning and growth
- Remember that attracting a high-value man is not just about finding the right partner, but also about creating a fulfilling and healthy relationship
Let’s take a look at a few things you can do when you’re trying to find yourself one of the “good guys” you say you’ve never come across in your life.
1. Attracting a high-value man comes easy when you’re a high-value woman
Simply put, to attract a high-quality man, you must also strive to believe in the same morals men like him believe in. Try to improve yourself as a person, have a clear purpose, and try to achieve emotional, mental, and financial growth to the best of your capabilities. When a man sees a woman who’s unapologetically breezing through life, he won’t be able to help but be attracted to her charisma.
2. A team player, not a damsel in distress
Someone who’s highly motivated, focused, and determined to improve is not looking for distractions. He’s not going to want his companion to be slowing him down in his quest for growth. Rather, he’ll be looking for someone with whom he can grow together.
If you compliment his capabilities and he compliments yours, he’d want to pursue this dynamic since he sees the benefit in it. No, don’t worry, financial or intellectual benefit isn’t the only thing keeping him around. He wouldn’t be human if he didn’t let himself love you.
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3. The girl who’s got it figured out
No, you don’t need to have a yearly plan for “growth” and “profits” with pie graphs of your success. What we mean is a general idea of what you want in life and how to get there is going to help. Confidence and charisma are what men notice about you in the first meeting.
Having a plan and an ambition to get there is all it takes to appear confident in yourself. Once a high-quality man sees that in you, you’re going to find yourself on a date with him. Aside from the most basic methods of attracting a high-value man, common methods such as being humorous, vulnerable, and interesting will also help. What’s important, at the end of the day, is how his values align with yours.
- If you always wonder what sets apart good men from your usual creeps, look for innate traits of high-quality men
- Respect, honesty, and emotional intelligence are the top traits that define high-value men
- Other signs include financial maturity, growth mindset, and self-awareness
- These qualities are valuable resources that help a man build his character and compassionate individuality
- No man is perfect; it is what he aspires to be that define and differentiate high-value men from the rest of the crowd
Every person has a unique set of qualities and imperfections. High-value man traits look appealing on paper, but might not necessarily translate too well in a relationship. What if all he’s focused on is his career? Technically, that’s still one of the qualities of a high-value man, right? As far as relationships are concerned, a true high-value male wins the battle of high-value man vs alpha male. So, don’t be too worried about spotting the best of the bunch. Find someone you’re compatible with, and roll the dice.
This article has been updated in March 2023.
The best ways to keep your value high are by being motivated, having a purpose in mind, and developing a plan to get there. Practice emotional intelligence and stoicism, but do not run away from emotional confrontations
High-value men come in all shapes and sizes. There aren’t any distinct physical features that will tell you who is a high-quality man and who isn’t. Though, the aura of confidence and humility they exuberate might give it away.
The most attractive quality in a man is highly subjective, but many people agree that being respectful, charming, and taking care of themselves are all sought-after characteristics of a high-value man.
To date a high-quality man, strive to get closer to the best version of yourself. When a man sees you trying to achieve growth in life just like he is, he will undoubtedly be attracted to you and would want to be with you.
It is not appropriate to generalize what all high-value men want in a woman as each individual has their own unique preferences and desires. However, qualities such as intelligence, confidence, kindness, and compatibility may be important factors for some while for other high-value men, empathy and emotional intelligence would be their priorities.