40 New Relationship Questions You Should Surely Ask

Love and Romance | |
new relationship questions

A new relationship can only blossom through one way, and that is through sincere curiosity for your partner. So if you need some new relationship questions to ask each other, we have what you are looking for. To get a good sense of what your partner is like and to understand them on a deeper level, you need to consciously build an understanding of one another.

This is how you will get to know your partner and figure out if they are meant for you. But, are you wondering what are the best questions to ask someone to get to know them? Well, to be honest, knowing which questions to ask can even be the very difference between a fruitful relationship and a failed one, and is an important factor in making your relationship last long. However, there can be no exhaustive list of relationship questions and answers that will help you know your partner better, as this is an ever-evolving process. Nonetheless, we at Bonobology have created a list of new relationship questions to ask him or her to give your new romance a chance.

Navigate A New Relationship With These Important Questions

Table of Contents

Starting a new relationship is exciting. There is a certain thrill to discovering who your partner is and what similarities the two of you share. But at this point, you are still unsure of a lot of things about them. Do you understand your partner’s love language? Do you know what things your partner values in life? Are you aware of your partner’s family dynamic? There are so many things to ask about so many areas of their life that it might get overwhelming since you don’t know where to start. That’s why knowing the right questions to ask when starting a relationship can be immensely helpful.

If you wish to have a list of questions for the girl you’re dating or need some questions to ask a guy in a new connection, look no further. We have compiled a list of 40 new relationship questions to ask your partner and divided them into 8 important categories. So, take a look…

Questions To Find Out If It Is Serious

The first important conversation you will have during the early stages is when the two of you try to decide if your relationship is serious or casual. Are they your partner full-time or just a potential partner you are looking to take things forward with? The most crucial relationship questions and answers revolve around figuring out defining what a connection means to both partners.

This is a topic that makes new couples nervous, as they are afraid that the other person might not feel the same way as them. Due to the importance of the topic, it is important to discuss this in a light-hearted way to prevent any embarrassment or hurt feelings. Here are some fun questions to ask in a new connection to see if it is serious or not.

1. Is our relationship exclusive?

This could be the most awkward question to ask due to the fear of rejection. However, you need to ask this for a stable and mutually beneficial relationship. Yup, this is indeed one of the most controversial relationship questions.

2. Where do you see us one/two/five years down the line?

It’s one of the best questions to ask your partner to assess how serious they are about the relationship and if it is moving forward at all. How much involvement is your partner ready for in this relationship? It will reveal if your partner views your dynamic as a fling, or if they are serious about you.

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3. Do you factor me in while making personal decisions?

Before starting a relationship, this is perhaps one of the most crucial things to ask your potential partner. This question reveals how much respect your partner has for you while also letting you know where you lie on the list of your partner’s priorities. Yes, such relationship questions and answers may not lead to the most easy-going conversations but they’re crucial for your happiness and emotional well-being in the long run.

4. Are you satisfied with me or are you looking for something more?

Is this relationship fitting their needs, or are they still looking around for something else? This can be a nerve-racking question to ask, but if you hope to be in a long-term relationship, you should be asking this as often as you can. This is, without a doubt, one of the best questions to ask to stay in tune with how your partner’s feelings about you and the state of your relationship.

5. Do you want me to meet your family?

This is a question whose answer could hurt you, but you need to ask it anyway to judge if the relationship means anything to them or not. Family dynamic plays an important part in one’s personality and also how they navigate relationships. If your partner does not want you to meet their family, then clearly they are not as ready for this relationship as you think they might be.

Questions To Ask About Their Family

If you are interested in a serious relationship, the best questions to ask your SO are those that help you understand their family background and traditions. If you have ever wondered what your new partner’s family is like, here’s our list of relationship questions to see if you would get along with each other’s family.

Related Reading: 36 Questions To Ask Before Marriage – No#11 Is A Must!

6. How close are you to your family?

This question will reveal your partner’s views on family dynamics, how much your partner values them, and how family-oriented they are. Are you two on the same page when it comes to notions about family life? It could also be a serious and sad, but important discussion if they don’t get along with their family because of the latter’s abusive or disrespectful behavior.

7. Are there any traits of your family members that annoy you?

This is one of the fun questions to ask which will make your partner tell you all about their family gossip. It can be an interesting way to spend some quality time together on a lazy afternoon.

8. What are some family traditions that you truly enjoy?

Traditions are certainly important and can bring out a favorite memory or two of your partner’s life. This new relationship question for her/him will let you know what traditions you should pay extra attention to, to make your partner feel comfortable and compatible with you. This is a great way of diving deep into your partner’s childhood and respecting what they hold close to their heart.

9. Would you prefer to live with your family or on your own?

This is an interesting question to ask, as it reveals your partner’s current standing in life, the lifestyle they prefer, and what you could look forward to if you ever reach the point of marriage. Are you two on the same page about how you want to design your life?

10. Do you factor in your family’s opinion while making decisions?

This question is vital and one of the early relationship questions to ask, which you will not regret bringing up. Asking this question will let you know if your partner is capable of standing their ground against their family, or if they will roll over and bow to the decisions of other people.

Related Reading: 15 Tips That Keep A Relationship Strong And Happy

Questions To Gauge Your Partner’s Ambitions

Some of the most important relationship questions to ask a partner are about their ambitions and goals in life. This is because understanding someone’s level of ambition is crucial to knowing if the relationship will succeed or not. For some people, lack of ambition is indeed a deal breaker. According to research, couples with extremely different levels of ambition tend to break up, as neither can truly satisfy the other in the relationship.

It can also lead to many fights, as one person might start to believe that the other is an anchor that is dragging them down. Here are some new relationship questions you can ask to check if your partner’s ambition matches your own. This way, you two can assess if you both are on the same page about how you want to drive your careers.

11. Do you have any goals that are yet unachieved?

Understanding a person’s goals can tell you a lot about their growth journey. This lets you know what your partner in your committed relationship wants their life to look like and also tells you what their biggest priorities are. This is one of the important questions to ask at the beginning of a relationship to see if your goals and ambitions align.

12. What would you need for you to be able to say “I have everything I have ever wanted”?

The answer to this question will let you know if your partner’s needs and goals are realistic or if they are constantly unsatisfied. Are they self-aware enough to maximize their potential? It will help you know if you are compatible for a long-term relationship.

13. Would you prefer to have a successful career or a fulfilling personal life?

Ask your partner questions like this to reveal the personality of the person you are dating. Before starting a new relationship with somebody, it is best to get a good understanding of what drives them.

14. What do you want your legacy to be?

Such early relationship questions serve two purposes. First, they let you know their value systems and what is truly important to them, and second, they let you know what level of social recognition your partner craves.

Related Reading: Are You A Pluviophile? 12 Reasons You Could Be One!

15. What kind of lifestyle are you aiming for?

This particular question is of great importance, as your lifestyle goals need to be close to your partner’s for the two of you to have a successful relationship. How your partner believes money should be spent, or what kind of lifestyle they want to lead will deeply affect your life. That’s why this one of the crucial questions to ask when starting a relationship that you shouldn’t shy away from.

Fun Questions To Know Each Other’s Hobbies

A lot of important relationship questions in a relationship can be masked as fun and quirky questions. These fun questions to ask in a new relationship help you gauge your partner’s likes and interests. It’s important to ask these questions to know if you would enjoy spending time with them. This set of questions is light-hearted, and they are a way for you to get to know your new partner. Here are a few of them:

16. What are your favorite ways to spend your free time?

This question will let you know what activities you should look forward to in a shared space and will tell you about their coping mechanisms too. Do they play video games often or like to curl up with a book? Studies like this also show that having shared hobbies between couples is important to build emotional intimacy.

early relationship questions
Understand your partner better by asking these early relationship questions

17. What is a skill that you wish to learn?

This question reveals your partner’s interests and personal goals and might help you find common ground. It may even help you two try to learn the same things together!

18. Would you prefer a walk on the beach or a day of watching movies?

This is a fun thing to ask your partner that can help you plan the perfect date while also letting you know what activities your partner would detest. This is one of the best questions to ask to understand your partner’s likes and dislikes.

19. What do you like about your favorite hobby?

This is an insightful question that will reveal why your partner likes certain hobbies or activities over others. A crucial question to ask if you want to know your partner better. Such a deep understanding of the other person can dramatically improve relationship satisfaction.

20. Are you a dog person or a cat person?

This is one of the important questions to ask them, as it helps you understand your partner’s personality type based on which animal they like more. A dog person is someone who is usually very bubbly and energetic. On the other hand, cat lovers are more individualistic and complex people.

Questions To Understand Each Other’s Values

Some of the most interesting questions to ask to get to know someone are about their values. In fact queries on personal values should be some of the first important questions to ask in a new connection, as it also helps you navigate and set the right relationship expectations. Shared values can lead to that first spark and are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Here are some new relationship questions you can ask your partner to see if the two of you share enough values to maintain a healthy and long-lasting relationship. This is also a great way to separate a serious relationship from a casual one. So, here they go:

21. Do you believe that you handle your finances appropriately?

This question lets you know how responsible your partner is and if they can be depended on. It can help you understand if your partner thinks about money the same way you do. Given how vital financial proficiency and compatibility can be to the health of a relationship, this is among the crucial questions to ask to get to know someone to better.

22. What do you believe the division of labor should be in a relationship?

This lets you know how much effort you and your partner would need to put in for a stable home life. Before you jump into a full-fledged licensed marriage, you might want to be clear on this one. Division of labor in terms of responsibilities of chores, spending time with kids, and managing a house is essential to creating a life together.

Related Reading: 8 Habits Of Couples In Strong And Healthy Relationships

23. Are you interested in having kids, and if so, how do you intend to raise them?

This is one of the questions to ask, as it will reveal the most important core beliefs of your partner. Also, note that research shows that disagreements over children is the most common cause for a failed relationship.

24. How do you handle disagreements and negative emotions?

Ask this question so you won’t need a family therapist 7 years into your marriage. This question will let you know about their conflict style and show how emotionally and mentally mature they are. It will also tell you if they are the type of person you want to be with.

25. What are some relationship deal-breakers for you?

Consider this to be one of the most important questions to ask for a new relationship. This needs no explanation, as it is an obvious question that needs to be asked if you intend to have an honest relationship right from the beginning.

couple dynamics  and  more

Spicy Questions About Sex

If you have ever wanted to learn some fun questions to ask a guy in a new relationship, here they are. And not just a guy, this is a topic anyone would love to talk about. Sex is a natural and healthy part of all relationships, and understanding each other’s expectations when it comes to sex is necessary for a mutually beneficial bond.

Here are some questions to ask to get to know someone better in bed and to understand each other’s wants, limits, and kinks safely and securely. These will spice things up with your partner in the bedroom. So, here they go:

26. How frequently do you need sex in a relationship?

This question can help you create a healthy and satisfying sex life by knowing exactly what you’re signing up for, and how to negotiate according to your own needs.

27. Are there any sexual acts that you are strictly against?

This question lets you know what sexual boundaries cannot be crossed. Partners in loving relationships can go through abuse too if boundaries aren’t talked about.

28. What are some of your kinks or fantasies?

This will help you get to know your partner better while allowing the two of you to fulfill each other’s fantasies if you’re both comfortable with them

29. What is something you’ve always wanted to do in bed?

This question will help provide an insight into your partner’s deepest desires and preferences.

30. How important do you think sex is in a relationship?

This is among the crucial questions to ask to get to know someone better. It helps set realistic expectations for each other and helps prevent sexual frustration.

Related Reading: The 7 Types Of Boundaries You Need To Make Your Relationship Stronger

Questions To Set And Manage Expectations

Some of the questions to ask at the beginning of a relationship are those related to relationship expectations. For any relationship that you enter, you and your partner should know what is expected from each other if you want your relationship to succeed. Coming up next is a set of 5 serious questions to ask in a new relationship which will help you and your partner set realistic goals for each other to prevent disappointment and frustration.

31. What are some things you would like me to do as a partner?

This question helps give each other a clear idea of the roles and responsibilities that need to be mutually met. People often have different love languages, and therefore give love in different ways. This is one question that can give you an idea of your partner’s love language and how they expect to receive love from you.

32. What is the minimum amount of time you think a couple should spend together?

One of the best questions to get to know someone dating is about how much time they wish to spend with you. This question will let you know how compatible the two of you are as a couple and what qualifies as ‘quality time’ for both of you

33. When you are going through a difficult situation, how would you like me to support you?

This is an extremely important relationship question to ask, as it will help you and your partner navigate difficult situations with compassion. Support is a two-way street in a relationship in different realms which may be emotional, financial, or personal.

34. What is something you refuse to compromise on in a relationship?

This should be one of the first questions asked to ensure that no one is put into an unhealthy, awkward, or unpleasant situation. If you feel they would compromise the right way in the relationship, then they are the right one for you.

35. What do you think this relationship needs to continue to thrive?

This question will help you and your partner understand each other’s shortcomings while giving you ways to overcome them. This is one of the best questions to ask to your partner because it shows that you’re committed to work toward making your relationship better.

Important Questions About Their Past Relationships

Some interesting questions to ask at the beginning of a relationship are those related to one’s former partners. It is one thing to get to know your new love by asking questions about their favorite movie or their favorite meal. But to get a good sense of who they are, we want you to dive deeper. At this point, you know all about their dream vacations or favorite memories from childhood. But it is time to understand how your partner functions in a relationship.

This is another important set of serious questions to ask. Talking about past relationships is going to be a touchy subject for most people. So, approach this with caution. However, this topic needs to be talked about, so that you can understand your partner’s traumas, likes, and dislikes. It will also help you accept your partner’s past early on. So, here they are:

36. Why did your last relationship end?

This lets you know what pitfalls to avoid, and if they have learned any lessons from their past, making it one of the important relationship questions to ask to get to know someone better.

37. What was something that happened in your last relationship that you don’t want a repeat of?

This teaches you what their boundaries, insecurities, flaws, and triggers are and can help your relationship last longer. Most of us come into new relationships holding onto some kind of baggage from the past, which in most cases is unavoidable. Our past experiences play a huge role in what we want our future to look, or not look like.

38. What is something you miss about your past relationship?

This teaches you what they value and the type of relationships they are looking for. Is it the quality time they liked the most, or something their partner did for them, such as being with them in difficult times.

39. What did you learn from your past relationship?

This forces them to be honest about their journey of self-improvement and to reflect upon where they stand. Maybe they learned to never use dating apps again, or they learned what true commitment entails.

40. Have you healed from your breakup or do you still need time?

One of the best questions to get to know someone dating is whether they are completely over their ex/exes. While there’s nothing wrong with continuing to heal from a past relationship in the space of a new connection, this question will tell you what your partner’s heart wants. If they need more time to move on, then you can make your decision accordingly – wait or leave.

These are the most important new relationship questions for her or him. By asking these, you would have all the basic knowledge that is required for any new connection to thrive. This can also be a great way to spend an intimate afternoon with your partner.

Key Pointers

  • Your questions for your new partner should revolve around sex, level of commitment, mutual expectations, and personal values
  • To see how compatible the relationship is, ask questions about their hobbies, family life, and ambitions
  • You can also ask routine questions about pop culture interests, celebrity crushes, and things to get a fuller understanding of their interests 
  • Asking about past relationships can be awkward, but it will help you understand your partner’s needs, priorities, expectations, and boundaries

This list of questions should serve as a guide to growing closer to them. While these are some great questions to ask your partner at the very start of your relationship, the process of getting to know them will never truly end and can never be limited to a set of relationship questions and answers. That means, as long as the two of you are interested in staying together, you will always have questions to ask and stories to share.

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