40 New Relationship Questions You Should Surely Ask

March 26, 2023 |
new relationship questions
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A new relationship can only blossom through one way, and that is through sincere curiosity for your partner. So if you need some new relationship questions to ask each other, we have what you are looking for.

It’s how you will get to know your partner and figure out if they are meant for you. Knowing which questions to ask can even be the difference between a fruitful relationship or a failed one. This is why we at Bonobology have created a list of new relationship questions to ask him or her to give your new romance a fighting chance.

40 New Relationship Questions You Should Surely Ask

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Starting a new relationship is exciting. There is a certain thrill to discovering who your partner is and what similarities the two of you share. However, there are so many things to ask about so many areas of their life that it might get overwhelming since you don’t know where to start.

If you wish to have a list of questions for the girl you’re dating or need some questions to ask a guy in a new relationship, look no further. We have compiled a list of 40 new relationship questions to ask your partner, and divided them into 8 important categories.

Questions To Find Out If It Is Serious

The first important conversation you will have in a new relationship is when the two of you try to decide if your relationship is serious or casual. This is a topic that makes new couples nervous as they are afraid that the other person might not feel the same way as them. Due to the importance of the topic, it is important to discuss this in a light-hearted way to prevent any embarrassment or hurt feelings. Here are some fun questions to ask in a new relationship to see if it is serious or not.

1. Is our relationship exclusive?

This could be the most awkward question to ask due to the fear of rejection. However, you need to ask this for a stable and mutually beneficial relationship.

2. Where do you see us one/two/five years down the line?

It’s the best way to judge how serious your partner is about the relationship and if it is moving forward at all. It will reveal if your partner views your dynamic as a fling, or if they are serious about you.

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3. Do you factor me in while making personal decisions?

This question reveals how much respect your partner has for you while also letting you know where you lie on the list of your partner’s priorities.

4. Are you satisfied with me or are you looking for something more?

This can be a nerve-racking question to ask, but if you hope to be in a long-term relationship, you should be asking this as often as you can.

5. Do you want me to meet your family?

This is a question whose answer could hurt you, but you need to ask it anyway to judge if the relationship means anything to them or not.

Questions To Ask About Their Family

If you are interested in a serious relationship, understanding each other’s family background and traditions is critical. If you have ever wondered what your new partner’s family is like, here’s our list of new relationship questions to see if you would get along with each other’s family.

Related Reading: 36 Questions To Ask Before Marriage – No#11 Is A Must!

6. How close are you to your family?

This question will reveal your partner’s views on family dynamics, its place and history in their life, and how family-oriented they are. It could also be a serious, sad, but important discussion if they don’t get along with their family because of the latter’s abusive or disrespectful behavior.

7. Are there any traits amongst your family members that annoy you?

This is a fun question to ask which will make your partner tell you all about their family gossip. It can be an interesting way to spend some quality time together on a lazy afternoon.

8. What are some family traditions that you truly enjoy?

Traditions are certainly important. This new relationship question for her/him will let you know what traditions you should pay extra attention to in order to make your partner feel comfortable and compatible with you.

9. Would you prefer to live with your family or on your own?

This is an interesting question to ask as it reveals your partner’s current standing in life, the lifestyle they prefer, and what you could look forward to if you ever reach the point of marriage.

10. Do you factor in your family’s opinion while making decisions?

This question is vital. Asking this question will let you know if your partner is capable of standing their ground against their family, or if they will roll over and bow to the decisions of other people.

Related Reading: 15 Tips That Keep A Relationship Strong And Happy

Questions To Gauge Your Partner’s Ambitions

Understanding someone’s level of ambition is crucial to knowing if the relationship will succeed or not. According to research, couples with very different levels of ambition tend to break up as neither can truly satisfy the other in the relationship. It can also lead to many fights as one person will start to believe that the other is an anchor that is dragging them down. Due to its importance, here are some new relationship questions you can ask to check if your partner’s ambition matches your own.

11. Do you have any goals that are yet unachieved?

This lets you know what your partner wants their life to look like, and also tells you what their priorities are.

12. What would you need for you to be able to say “I have everything I have ever wanted”?

This question will let you know if your partner’s needs and goals are realistic or if they are constantly unsatisfied. It will help you know if you are compatible for a long-term relationship.

13. Would you prefer to have a really successful career, or a fulfilling personal life?

This is an insightful question that will reveal the personality of the person you are dating.

14. What do you want your legacy to be?

This question serves two purposes. The first lets you know their value systems and what is truly important to them, and the second lets you know what level of social recognition your partner craves.

Related Reading: Are You A Pluviophile? 12 Reasons You Could Be One!

15. What kind of lifestyle are you aiming for?

This particular question is of great importance as your lifestyle goals need to be close to your partner’s for the two of you to have a successful relationship.

Fun Questions To Know Each Other’s Hobbies

These are some fun questions to ask in a new relationship to gauge your partner’s likes and interests. It’s important to ask these questions in a new relationship to know if you would enjoy spending time with them. This set of new relationship questions are light-hearted as they are a way for you to get to know your new partner. Here are a few of them.

16. What are your favorite ways to spend your free time?

This question will let you know what activities you should look forward to in a shared space, and will tell you about their coping mechanisms too. Studies like this also show that having shared hobbies between couples is important.

17. What is a skill that you wish to learn?

This question reveals your partner’s interests and personal goals, and might help you find common ground.

18. Would you prefer a walk on the beach, or a day of watching movies?

This is a question that can help you plan the perfect date, while also letting you know what activities your partner would detest.

19. What do you like about your favorite hobby?

This is an insightful question that will reveal why your partner likes certain hobbies or activities over others. A crucial question to ask if you want to know your partner better.

20. What is something that never fails to make you laugh?

This lets you understand your partner’s sense of humor, and also gives you an easy way to help cheer them up when they feel low.

Questions To Understand Each Other’s Values

Personal values form some of the first important questions to ask in a new relationship. Shared values can lead to that first spark and are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Here are some new relationship questions you can ask your partner to see if the two of you share enough values to maintain a healthy and long-lasting relationship. This is also a great way to separate a serious relationship from a casual one.

21. Do you believe that you handle your finances appropriately?

This question lets you know how responsible your partner is and if they can be depended on

22. What do you believe the division of labor should be in a relationship?

This lets you know how much effort you and your partner would need to put in for a stable home life.

Related Reading: 8 Habits Of Couples In Strong And Healthy Relationships

23. Are you interested in having kids, and if so, how do you intend to raise them?

This is an extremely important question to ask as research shows that disagreements over children is the most common cause for a failed relationship.

24. How do you handle disagreements and negative emotions?

This question will let you know about their conflict style, how emotionally and mentally mature they are, and if they are the type of person you want to be with.

25. What are some relationship deal-breakers for you?

This needs no explanation, it is an obvious question that needs to be asked if you intend to have an honest relationship right from the beginning.

stories on couple dynamics and more

Spicy Questions About Sex

If you have ever wanted to learn some fun questions to ask a guy in a new relationship, here they are. And not just a guy, this is a topic anyone would love to talk about. Sex is a natural and healthy part of most relationships and understanding each other’s expectations when it comes to sex is necessary for a mutually beneficial bond.

Here are some new relationship questions to ask him/her to understand each other’s wants, limits, and kinks in a safe and secure manner. These will definitely spice things up with your partner in the bedroom.

26. How frequently do you need sex in a relationship?

This question can help you create a healthy and satisfying sex life by knowing exactly what you’re signing up for, and how to negotiate according to your own needs

27. Are there any sexual acts that you are strictly against?

This question lets you know what sexual boundaries cannot be crossed. Partners in loving relationships can go through abuse too if boundaries aren’t talked about.

28. What are some of your kinks or fantasies?

This will help you get to know your partner better while allowing the two of you to fulfill each other’s fantasies, if you’re both comfortable with them

29. What is something you’ve always wanted to do in bed ?

This question will help provide an insight into your partner’s deepest desires and preferences

30. How important do you think sex is in a relationship?

This question is extremely important to help set realistic expectations for each other, and helps prevent sexual frustration.

Related Reading: The 7 Types Of Boundaries You Need To Make Your Relationship Stronger

Questions To Set And Manage Expectations

Now, it is time for some serious questions to ask in a new relationship. For any relationship that you enter, you and your partner should know what is expected from each other if you want your relationship to succeed. Coming up next are a set of 5 serious questions to ask in a new relationship which will help you and your partner set realistic goals for each other to prevent disappointment and frustration.

31. What are some things you would like me to do as a partner?

This question helps give each other a clear idea of the roles and responsibilities that need to be mutually met

32. What is the minimum amount of time you think a couple should spend together?

This question will let you know how compatible the two of you are as a couple and what qualifies as ‘quality time’ for both of you

33. When you are going through a difficult situation, how would you like me to support you?

This is an extremely important question to ask as it will help you and your partner navigate difficult situations with compassion

34. What is something you refuse to compromise on in a relationship?

This should be one of the first questions asked to ensure that no one is put into an unhealthy, awkward, or unpleasant situation. If you feel like they know they would compromise the right way in the relationship, then they are the right one for you.

35. What do you think this relationship needs to continue to thrive?

This question will help you and your partner understand each other’s shortcomings, while giving you ways to overcome them

Important Questions About Their Past Relationships

This is another set of serious questions to ask in a new relationship. Talking about past relationships is going to be a touchy subject for most people. So, approach this with caution. However, this topic needs to be talked about so that you can understand your partner’s traumas, likes, and dislikes. Here are some important questions to ask in a new relationship to ensure that neither of you repeat the mistakes of the past and to allow your new relationship to blossom, the way it is meant to.

36. Why did your last relationship end?

This lets you know what pitfalls to avoid, and if they have learned any lessons from their past.

37. What was something that happened in your last relationship that you don’t want a repeat of?

This teaches you what their boundaries, insecurities, flaws, and triggers are and can help your relationship last longer.

38. What is something you miss about your past relationship?

This teaches you what they value and the type of relationships they are looking for.

39. What did you learn from your past relationship?

This forces them to be honest about their journey of self-improvement and to reflect upon where they stand.

40. Have you healed from your breakup or do you still need time?

While there’s nothing wrong with continuing to heal from a past relationship in the space of a new relationship, this question will tell you what their heart wants. If they need more time to move on, then you can make your decision accordingly – wait or leave.

These are the most important new relationship questions for her or him. By asking these, you would have all the basic knowledge that is required for any new relationship to thrive. This can also be a great way to spend an intimate afternoon with your partner.

Key Pointers

  • Your questions for your new partner should revolve around sex, commitment, mutual expectations, and personal values
  • To see how compatible the relationship is, ask questions about their hobbies, family life, and ambitions
  • Asking about past relationships can be awkward, but it will help you understand your partner’s needs, priorities, expectations, and boundaries

This list of new relationship questions should serve as a guide to grow closer to them. While these are some great beginning questions to ask your partner, the process of getting to know them will never truly end. That means that as long as the two of you are interested in staying together, you will always have questions to ask and stories to share.

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