When you start to fall for a person, you want to get to know each and everything about them. You want to know what makes them tick and what makes their skin crawl. While asking about favorite ice cream flavors is fair enough, you also need to know the answers to some deeper questions. We have curated a list of such questions you should know about your partner for you.
In all honesty, it takes a lifetime to get to know a person, sometimes even a lifetime is not enough. People keep evolving, and to keep discovering something new about our partners all the time, we need to hold on to the curiosity we felt when we were first drawn to them. Asking the right questions can help you get to know your partner on a deeper level. So, if you are wondering what are good questions to ask your spouse or partner, look no further. We have got your back.
25 Questions You Should Know About Your Partner
Communication plays a vital role in making relationships last. You can go on for days without seeing your partner. It is even normal for the frequency of sex to dwindle after a while. However, when communication dies down, a relationship is truly in dire straits.
On the other hand, you could talk about a million things and be none the wiser about things to know about your partner. That’s why it is important to ask the right kind of questions. If you are aware of the answers to questions you should know about your partner, well and good. If you don’t, go ahead and ask your partner and make your bond stronger.
Basic Questions To Know About Your Partner
There are some things you do tend to figure out about your bae quite early on in the relationship. In case you are still not aware or have not thought about asking your partner, here are some basic questions the answers to which you should be aware of:
1. How do they wind down at the end of a long day?
We all have days when nothing goes right and we feel weary to the bone. If you have been with your partner for some time, you will know by the look on their face or the tone of their voice that they’ve had a tough day. How do they decompress on such days? This is one of the important questions you should know about your partner so that you can help them unwind or at least not get in the way.
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2. Do they think of themselves as an introvert or an extrovert?
The Myre Briggs personality indicator divides people into two types – introverts and extroverts. While in some cases, it is easy to decipher which of these categories a person fits into, in others, it can be a little confusing. Dating an introvert or an extrovert comes with their own set of unique challenges. This is certainly one of the interesting couple questions about each other that can lead to a lot of discoveries.
3. What did they study in college?
College life is a mixed bag of experiences. But one thing is for sure, one learns a lot during this time. One of the questions you should know about your partner is what they studied in college. If you have just started dating and have forgotten what it is, then go ahead and ask them and listen to all their funny anecdotes too. Sharing stories and life experiences helps a couple to come closer.
4. What is the grossest thing they have ever eaten and what is their comfort food?
If your partner is a foodie, then this is one of the funny questions for a couple to ask each other is about their relationship with food. Good food can melt the coldest of hearts and eating something bad can make you question every single decision of your life. Ask your partner about their experiments with food and get ready to roll on the floor with laughter.
5. What is the one thing that makes them feel good every single time?
We all have that one thing in our lives that makes us feel better, no matter the circumstances. For some people, it’s their children or pets. For others, it is the sunrise and the sound of birds chirping early in the morning. This is one of the questions you should know about your partner to make them feel better on days they feel down in the dumps.
Bonus: Do you like or hate birthdays?
Now, this is one interesting question to ask your partner. Some people love their birthdays and keep talking about them a month ahead of the date. Then there are those who do not like the spotlight on them. Some people like surprise parties and others like to plan their birthdays. It is important to know your partner’s opinion on birthdays since you will be playing an important part in making them feel special.
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Deep Things You Should Know About Your Partner
People change over time. They might pick up a new hobby or undergo a complete lifestyle change. Ask these couple questions about each other so that you both remain mindful of your partner’s growth.
1. What are their thoughts on spirituality?
If you are wondering what are good questions to ask a spouse/partner, take note. Everyone has a specific belief system. Some people believe in a higher power, while others dismiss the existence of God. And then, there are those who believe our lives are a simulation of a supercomputer. Your partner’s thoughts on spirituality also affect their philosophy on life, so this is a question you must know the answer to.
2. What is their biggest fear?
Fear is instinctual. As kids, we are scared of the dark. As we grow older, we realize that it is the unknown that we fear. As adults, we try to deal with those fears. However, certain fears take complete hold over a person. Talking about these fears can be really traumatizing, which is precisely why this is one of the important things to know about your partner.
3. What advice would they give their 13-year-old self?
In our teen years, we have a certain idea of how life is going to be. With time, we realize that life is rarely the way we picturized it to be. And there are times you wish you could go back in time and give that 13-year-old version of yourself a little bit of the wisdom you now hold. As a couple, questions about each other such as these will give you a lot of insight into what your partner’s childhood was like.
4. What is the one thing they want to be remembered for?
Some want to be rich and famous, some want to be remembered for their kindness, and some want to be remembered for their courage. The answer to this question will help you understand what matters most to your partner. And what qualities they admire in others.
5. What, according to them, is the best thing about your relationship and what you could improve upon?
Now, the answer to this question may keep changing with time. Like us, our relationships keep evolving, and we need to keep up with those changes. That’s why this becomes one of those questions you should know about your partner that you must bring up from time to time. Talk to your partner about this as much as possible to keep the relationship healthy and strong.
Bonus: If they could go back in time and re-do something in their life, what would it be?
All of us have regrets. Certain things that we wish we had not done and could go back in time and change. This is indeed a deep question that needs a lot of introspection and courage to be answered. Ask your partner this question and you may be able to help them feel better.
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Questions Couples Should Know About Each Other
Think you know your bae like the back of your hand? If yes, then you should be able to answer these questions. If not, now is a good time to remedy it. You are sure to learn something new.
1. Who is the person closest to you?
Now I know, when a partner asks this question to the other, they secretly hope that they’d be picked but sometimes that is not the case. The person you or your partner is the closest to could be a friend, a sibling, or even a stranger on the internet. While this may not be the easiest thing to hear, it is still a good idea to accept each other’s choices. Also remember, just because you are not the closest one, doesn’t mean you are not close.
2. What is your relationship with your family like?
If you are wondering, what questions should you know about your partner, add this to the list. Understanding each other’s family dynamics can help put a lot of personality traits in perspective and help you bond on a deeper level.
3. What is the one rule you never compromise on?
No matter how much of a rebel a person is, they are bound to live by certain rules and values. As a couple, questions about each other like these are very important. They will help you both understand and respect each other’s boundaries.
4. What is your conflict style?
There are 5 types of conflict styles: competing, accommodating, avoiding, collaborating, and compromising. One of the things to know about your partner and share with them is your respective conflict-handling styles. It will save you both a lot of heartbreak in the future.
5. What are you most insecure about?
All of us are insecure about something in our life, be it our looks, our financial status, or not doing enough. When partners know each other’s insecurities, it can foster deeper intimacy in the relationship and help you both understand one another better. And you will be able to help them build their self-esteem and vice versa.
Bonus: How would you describe your spending habits?
This is one of the very important questions partners must know about each other. If one of you is an impulsive buyer and the other so cautious with money that they come across as a miser, a difference in your outlook on money can create a huge rift in a relationship. It’s best to put your cards on the table and hash out these differences, and that’s exactly what this question helps you do.
Related Reading: 15 Tips For Financial Planning For Newly Married Couples
Questions About Relationships And Love
A lot of couples are skeptical about discussions around their relationships. More often than not, they are not even aware of the questions that need to be asked. Here are some questions about relationships and love that a couple needs to know about each other:
1. What do they think about long-term commitment and marriage?
If you are seriously looking to settle down in the future, then this is a question that you must discuss with your partner. Your partner may have a different opinion than yours about commitment and marriage. It is best to clear things out right away before someone ends up heartbroken.
2. What is their love language?
There are 5 kinds of love language: physical contact, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation. The best way to nurture a relationship is to show your partner love in a language that resonates the most with them.
3. What do they think about children?
Another very important question to ask your partner. If you don’t want to have kids but are unaware of your partner’s wishes in this matter, then you definitely should talk it out as soon as possible.
4. What is a deal-breaker for them in relationships?
Another deep question you should know about your partner is about their deal breakers in a relationship. Knowing this will help you steer clear of situations that can jeopardize the relationship.
5. Do they have any doubts regarding you or the relationship?
When you have been together for a long time, a relationship can hit a rough patch. In such times one of the questions you should know about your partner is if they ever had any doubts about you or the relationship.
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Bonus: What have they learned from their previous relationships?
Breakups are difficult but they teach us a lot about what we want from our future relationships and aspects of personality that we need to work on. Asking couple questions about each other such as these will help you get to know one another a little better.
Questions About Work A Couple Should Know
On average, a person spends one-third of their life at the workplace. And it is undoubtedly a very important aspect of one’s life. Asking questions about your partner’s career and workplace will help you provide the kind of support your partner needs to grow in that aspect of their life.
1. What is their dream job?
It is an unfortunate truth of our world that a lot of people are working jobs that are a far cry from what they aspired to do. If you are wondering what are good questions to ask your spouse or partner, then this is as good a place as any to start.
2. What is their work schedule?
A lot of jobs today don’t fit into the traditional 9-5 pattern. Some even require a lot of traveling. If your relationship is still in its nascent stages, it is important to discuss your schedules so that you can coordinate your days better.
3. What is the least favorite part of their current job?
It could be an annoying coworker or the fact that they need to hold their tongue on their boss’ unethical practices. Or just the fact that they are not getting the promotion that they have been promised for the longest time. Sharing things like this help you and your partner build a stronger connection.
4. How would they like you to support their career?
Support is an important element of any relationship. That’s why this becomes one of the most vital questions you should know about your partner. Your partner may not even expect anything of you but knowing that you have their back will give them tremendous confidence to balance work and life. Such couple questions about each other serve as a reassurance that you’re prepared to hold each other’s hand through thick and thin.
5. Are there any stressful periods in their job?
Every job comes with its share of stressors and these eventually impact a person’s personal life as well. Knowing when your partner is juggling too many balls at work can help you ease their struggles a bit. You will also understand why your spouse seems withdrawn and preoccupied during certain times of the year.
Bonus: How much risk does their job entail?
This a very important question that you should know the answer to. Life is unpredictable and no one knows what the next moment may bring. However, if your partner’s job entails high risk, you ought to know what you’re signing up for.
When trying to get to know your partner on an intimate level, it is very important to move past the surface-level questions to those that really matter. No matter what relationship stage you’re in, you can always learn more about your partner. Just use and customize the questions to suit your needs and you are good to go.
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