Your man might be head over heels in love with you and yet you will occasionally catch him staring at a woman who looks like she has walked right off the set of a fashion show. We often wonder, why do men look at other women? We are far too progressive to write it off as their nature. However, we understand that it can be annoying when your man has a wandering eye. In this article, we present 23 real and honest reasons men check out other women. And trust us, it has nothing to do with you!
Why Do Men Look At Other Women? 23 Real Reasons
Let’s admit it. Despite the villainization, men are not testosterone-driven beings with a stone for a heart. They are human with human needs. Hence, when an attractive person walks by, they will most likely glance. There is no compulsion or law which forbids you from looking at other people when you are in a relationship.
It is normal. It is also normal to not be happy when you see your man eyeing or looking at younger women. So let’s put millions of women out of their misery by finally revealing the real reasons men look at other women. Oh, and did we mention that there are 23 of them?
1. She is ravishing in red
Research suggests that men are drawn to women (like bees to honey) who wear red. The color serves as an aphrodisiac in color psychology and is rooted in the biological needs of men. Since it is primarily known as the color of attraction, a woman walking by in a hot red dress will definitely become the subject of a man’s attention, even when he is with his partner.
2. The woman is extremely attractive
It is easy to complain that “my boyfriend looks at other females in front of me”, but can you honestly deny looking at an extremely handsome man when you went to the mall with your beloved partner? While smarter men will be discreet about it, some men linger their eyes a bit longer. Just like you would if Chris Evans happened to run into you while you cross the street (okay, we are getting off-topic here). So why do men look at other women? Because she is attractive. Simple.
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3. He is curious about her
Humans are curious creatures. We frequently imagine hypothetical situations and speculate on how our lives may be lived in an alternative existence. It doesn’t necessarily imply that he yearns for this woman. He might simply be fulfilling the curiosity in his mind.
4. The other woman is causing a scene
Sometimes, when you think that your boyfriend is checking out other women, he might not be checking them out. Maybe he is just looking at the ruckus she is causing. Anybody making a scene will draw a guy’s attention, especially a lady. Naturally, he will look if there is a fight going on or if she is being loud and everyone is looking at her.
5. She stands out from the crowd
Don’t we all stop and stare at someone who looks different from the herd of people around us? So do men. It doesn’t always mean that the other woman is attractive. Maybe your man’s wandering eye has landed on a woman who seems to stand out from the crowd. It could simply be an absurd haircut or a giant tattoo.
6. He is lost in his own world
What draws guys to other women? A straight man’s natural inclination is to observe other ladies. So your man’s eyes might have initially caught the glimpse of another woman, but then, he zoned out. His eyes are still on her, but his mind is elsewhere. Before you write it off as a red flag in a relationship, snap him back to attention. He’s still your guy, albeit a little lost.
7. He is looking elsewhere
As mentioned in the previous point, sometimes a wandering eye is less about the eye and more about the mind. Don’t jump to the conclusion that your man is staring at an unfamiliar woman. He might simply be focusing on the same area as the woman. He could be looking at something else entirely. Be sure of where his eyes are before you get upset.
8. Something is wrong in your relationship
All fun and jokes apart, catching your man looking at other women all the time is a matter of concern. While some men can’t stop it, others purposefully check out women when their relationship is precariously close to ending, and this is their way of bringing your attention to it. So if you constantly find yourself telling people that “my boyfriend looks at other women in front of me”, you need to address the problems in your relationship.
9. Maybe he is unhappy with you
Why do men browse the websites/pages of other women? He might, after all, be unhappy with you. His actions, such as watching videos or browsing online for photographs of women, are a sign that he is unhappy in the relationship. In such a scenario, have an honest conversation with your partner, find out what needs of his are unmet, and see if you can fulfill them.
10. You are looking at the other woman
Why do men look at other women? Because you are looking at her! It’s not that you are not allowed to admire other women just because you’re straight. The only distinction is that since you share the same gender, your gaze isn’t perceived as a concern by your partner. Perhaps he was merely imitating your gaze before getting carried away.
Related Reading: 10 Thoughts In A Woman’s Mind When Her Man Is Checking Out A Girl
11. He has nothing else to do
Yes, it sounds problematic. Yes, it reiterates the male gaze. But sometimes, that’s just it. He is bored. Staring at other people could be a way for a man to have fun while out by himself and relaxing at a bar or club. There is nothing else for him to do at that moment, so your man is just staring.
Once, I went for a casual dinner with an old friend. While returning from the bathroom, I realized he was staring at a woman who had just entered the restaurant. I teased him about it and he shrugged his shoulders and said, “What, you were in the loo, what was I supposed to do?” And true to his words, he didn’t glance in her direction again once we went back to chatting.
12. He wants to get your attention
What draws guys to other women? This will sound childish but some men will direct your attention to them by looking at other ladies. Your partner might decide to turn his attention to the women nearby if you appear disengaged during a chat. He will ignore you for someone else just to catch your attention. This will make you focus on him because no woman enjoys being ignored.
13. He is admiring something else
Your man may be admiring something else about the woman. For instance, if your boyfriend sees a superstar online, he might comment that he would like to see that celebrity’s hairdo on you.
He might even decide to purchase a dress for you after expressing admiration for the way another woman wore it. Before you think you need to find a way to handle your man looking at other women, make sure that he was not admiring a piece of jewelry or a bag that he thinks you would like.
14. He needs stimulation
Sometimes, the honest answer to ‘why do men look at other women’ is that they are in a situation that is not emotionally, romantically, or intellectually stimulating. For instance, you might find the man you are meeting for a first date eyeing the waitress because he is not interested in what you are saying or he is simply bored of the topic.
15. You are indulging his behavior
If you frequently find that your boyfriend is checking out another woman and say nothing, he is going to assume you are okay with it. If you do not make him aware of your displeasure and just laugh or shrug it off, he will assume that this is acceptable behavior in a relationship.
Jenna, 32, recently got out of a relationship of 5 years. She said “I used to feel like a cool girlfriend when I let him look at other women. In fact, I would just let it go when he asked me if I was uncomfortable. I wasn’t comfortable and I never communicated that to him. It became frustrating for me and by then, it was too late to say anything.”
16. She is a younger woman
According to a study, men are inclined toward women who appear younger. So if your 50-year-old husband is staring at the young waitress, that’s probably why. A lot of men like looking at younger women because they are more energetic and fun. Most of the time, it means nothing more than staring, but if your husband is insisting on going back to the same restaurant, you need to raise more than an eyebrow.
17. The woman resembles someone
Maybe the woman who just walked into the grocery store resembles a childhood friend or a celebrity that your man has a crush on. When we come across someone who bears an uncanny resemblance to another person in our life, we all tend to stare.
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18. Why do men look at other women? They do not respect you
In some cases, the real reason for them indulging in this behavior, especially in front of their spouse or partner, is that they have no respect for the person they’re with, and don’t care about the impact of their actions. They feel it is alright to stare at another woman who is presumably more attractive.
19. He wants to make you jealous
A man can purposefully stare at another woman and let you know he is doing it just to make you jealous. Maybe things have been rocky in your relationship or maybe he caught you staring at another guy and is simply doing it to let you know how it feels. This sort of jealousy in a relationship can be resolved by communicating with your partner.
20. He is sexist and often objectifies women
The male gaze has been a source of discomfort for women all over the globe. If your man is ogling another woman, he could be objectifying her. It is sexist behavior that should not be encouraged, especially if you catch him doing it. Let him know that it is wrong and makes you uncomfortable.
21. The woman is seducing your man
The other lady might have made it her goal to seduce your man, even if he is going about his business. She might pass your man a message or wink at him, for example. Any man will turn to gaze at such actions. His wandering eye will not be able to resist such actions from the other woman and he will end up looking at her.
22. He likes the woman he is staring at
When a wife says that “I get jealous when my man looks at other women”, she probably has a good reason to get jealous. There is a high chance that the real reason he’s looking at another woman is that he likes her romantically/intellectually/sexually. Whether he acts on these feelings or not is secondary.
23. It is his nature
I wanted to save this for the last because this while being true, can be a subjective matter. Biologically, however, a portion of a man’s brain responds when he sees an attractive lady. As per a study, men are more prone to succumbing to their sexual desires than women. They don’t have as much resistance, hence, when an attractive or physically appealing woman comes across a man, he tends to stare at her.
5 Tips To Get Him To Stop Looking At Other Women
Most women find themselves complaining that “I get jealous when my husband looks at another girl” but have no idea what to do about it. Now that you know the real reasons men check out other women, let’s talk about dealing with a man’s wandering eye when the occasional staring starts developing into a habit.
While it is natural to look at other human beings, it is also normal for you to be uncomfortable with this. Here are 5 tips to make him stop looking at other women:
1. Voice your concern
How can you make him stop looking at other women when he is not even aware that you don’t appreciate this behavior? If you ignore it, he will assume that you don’t care and he can continue.
Instead, effectively communicate it with him and find out why he keeps looking at other women. He may use phrases like “Oh! That dress is gorgeous!” as an excuse. Knowing you want to understand will compel him to eventually tell you his reasons and also be aware of your discomfort.
2. Let him know that he can control it
Here’s how to handle your man looking at another woman. By helping him. Make him realize that he has a habit of staring at other women and give him the confidence to control it by being supportive. He may not be aware of his problematic gaze, and a little guidance could be just what he needs.
Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem In A Woman You Are Dating
3. Don’t make a big deal
If you see that your boyfriend is checking out another girl or that your husband is looking at a younger woman, do not make a scene. Yes, it annoys you when your partner blatantly turns to look at another lady while you’re around. But it’s best to exercise self-control.
Try being playful instead. Say, “caught you!” to gently draw his attention to it. You might also suggest to him that you can call her on his behalf. And you’ll both probably chuckle about it. He might just stop doing this eventually if you don’t make a big deal out of it.
4. Point out an attractive woman to your partner
I know it seems like the opposite of what you want, but when you point out an attractive woman to your partner, it shows that you are not an insecure woman and aren’t bothered by some meaningless staring. This will make your partner see you as the confident woman that you are, which will automatically increase your appeal, taking away his attention from the other woman.
5. Work on improving your self-esteem
Self-esteem is the belief in one’s value. If your man’s glances at other women have a big impact on you, you should introspect on your own worth instead. Think about how special and deserving you are. You know that there will always be more attractive women than you. Accept that, so his wandering eyes don’t bother you.
Sarah, 27, shares her personal experience. She says, “I get jealous when my husband looks at another girl. I once told him this. To my surprise, he sat me down and told me how wonderful and beautiful I am to him and that looking at other women means nothing to him. That’s when I realized it was a ‘me’ problem. I’m working on being more confident about myself.”
This brings us to the end of the ‘why do men look at other women’ question, and how to handle your man looking at them. Honest and open communication can better any relationship. Hence, if you are bothered by it, let him know. Or have fun, and don’t read too much into it.
Yes. It is completely normal for a man to look at other women as long as he does not act on it. Women also look at other men while being committed because there is no law that forbids them from appreciating beauty.
If you are bothered by it, be honest. Sometimes, it is best to ignore it because it does not mean anything. But if it is impacting you, talk to your partner calmly and let them know how you feel.