Right goes the adage – “Man is a social animal”. We all have our social circles and friends. So, it is apt that your boyfriend has his fair share of friends too, including female friends. But are his female friends just friends for him or are there any signs your boyfriend likes his female friend? Let’s try to understand this better.
We sure don’t want you to turn into a creepy partner who sniffs and scoffs at everything with jealousy and suspicion. But, we do want you to discern the early signs your boyfriend likes his female coworker.
My last relationship went through a similar phase. One year into our relationship, I notice how there is always his female friend in the picture. He inevitably has an inclination toward her to the extent that he defends his female friend no matter what. In hindsight, I realize there were so many things I was blissfully ignorant of, that ultimately led us to part ways.
Since a large part of your relationship may depend on your boyfriend’s equation with this ‘special’ friend of his, it is crucial for you to be on the lookout for certain signs – signs your boyfriend likes his female friend.
15 Signs Your Boyfriend Likes His Female Friend More Than You
There is every possibility of being in a relationship with a guy who might be cheating on you with one of his friends whom you know well. Even though, as we mentioned, we are not instigating you; we are alerting you so you don’t end up with a broken heart.
You might be wondering – what is the real deal? How will you get to know about his real feelings for his female friend? Is it normal for your boyfriend to talk to a female friend every day? Should you be jealous of your boyfriend’s female best friend? Well, your neighborhood love guru is here to help you figure out the odd points.
We have listed some of the signs your boyfriend likes his female coworker, which can be alarming. Pay heed to these red flags if you suspect his female friend flirts with him at work or if you smell an office romance.
1. His conversations are always about his female friend
One of the earliest and easiest signs to detect is your conversations. Are most of your conversations steering toward her? Is he always bringing her up while talking to you? This sure indicates that his female friend is always on his mind. Look out for more subtle signs if he is getting excited while mentioning her. That glint in his eyes while talking about her is one of the tell-tale signs your boyfriend likes his female friend.
It is obvious for friends to have a lot of things in common to talk about. You certainly get that and would not mind if they are talking regularly. But if your boyfriend tells his female friend everything, including your personal relationship status quo, that might not go well with you. As he starts doing more of these things, it could give rise to serious communication issues in your relationship.
2. He puts in extra efforts to hang out with her
It is okay for your boyfriend to hang out with his group of friends. After all, he does need his own space. But what is not okay, is his spending more time with his female friend than with you. Spending quality time together forms the basis of every relationship. You know your relationship is in trouble when this quality time decreases considerably because most of his time is devoted to her.
Liz knew her relationship with Ed was at a crossroads. Not only did their time together dwindle, but she also noticed him putting in extra effort while going out with Mandy. “Oh, he has styled his hair differently today, him using a hair gel is so not him!” Liz used to wonder. Well, this could be just him trying to impress his friend, Mandy. If he is going out of his way, it means there is something fishy.
3. He defends his female friend
Picture this: you both are chatting and you casually express your opinion about his female friend. Instead of taking it in his stride, he takes it personally and comes to resent your opinion. And, it is not a one-off thing. This is quite the norm with him now. That he is always overprotective of her is one of the signs your boyfriend likes his female friend.
He gets furious at you every time you try to confront him and is defensive of his friend. Even if it is a casual remark, he gets flared up and uncomfortable. He forbids you from judging her and commenting about her. If any of this has been happening lately, let us tell you that your relationship is in danger.
Related Reading: 13 Ways To Test Your Boyfriend’s Love For You
4. He carries his phone everywhere he goes
Okay, so all of us are quite guilty of doing this. Phones have made their way to washrooms as well. But what is implied here is that he tries to hide his phone from you lest he gets caught in the act, as if. Your boyfriend might forget to carry his towel while going for a shower, but his phone? The phone ain’t leaving him.
Not only does he carry his phone around like a limb, but he is also glued to his screen, most probably texting her, perhaps even asking her out on a date? Is it normal for your boyfriend to talk to a female friend every day? Umm, maybe. But, playful conversations, giggles, and emojis that crawl into the bed making for a late-night conversation between the two is a huge red flag. The line between friendship and flirting can be too thin and negligible to be noticed.
5. Your boyfriend tells his female friend everything
Friends do discuss their lives with each other. But, there are a few things that are better kept away from them, no matter how close both of them are. Your boyfriend’s female friend knowing about his work life is understood. But the love life should never be discussed in detail. He might be reaching out to her for some relationship advice since she, as a girl, can relate to it, suggesting to him what to do with regard to a particular issue. But, if your boyfriend tells his female friend everything about your relationship, then it is time for you to draw some boundaries since this can be one of those signs your boyfriend likes his female friend.
Venting out in front of a friend is something all of us do. But what makes for a warning sign is her knowing about your relationship more than you do. What happens between you and your boyfriend should stay between the two of you. Any leak of inside information is an alarming sign.
6. He often compares you with his female friend
Comparison in a relationship is a strict no-no. More so, when he continuously does this knowingly. He looks at his female friend through rose-tinted glasses that make her an epitome of perfection. She is a benchmark that you are expected to match up to. Instead of celebrating and loving you the way you are, he is pushing you into a comparison trap. Judging you by a yardstick defined by someone else is unfair, to say the least.
“What are you even wearing, honey? Your dressing style makes me laugh! Look at Chloe, how elegant and so like me,” chuckled Shaun. He is always biased toward his friend Chloe who, for him, is the perfect girl that Tania should aspire to become. The constant comparison has only worked toward creating a rift between the two.
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7. He can’t say no to her
As a girlfriend, you should be his priority. You must come above everything else. Even if that means saying no to his best female friend. And if for any reason, you don’t find yourself topping the list, girl, this is one of the signs your boyfriend likes his female friend.
Imagine this scenario – you two have a date planned for the weekend, something that both of you are very excited about. But, your boyfriend’s female colleague wants him to help her with a new project she is working on. And, to your utter dismay, he agrees to help her, putting her office work above your special night together. You are bound to be upset after this, but to top it all, the only thing he does is he defends his female friend. Treat this as the right time to ask your partner some serious relationship questions to know where you stand.
8. You never hang out together
Your boyfriend is planning to hang out with his female friend, watching a horror flick this weekend. You express your interest and want to join them too. But, the plan is suddenly canceled for apparently lame reasons or is rescheduled for a time when you are not free. Let us tell you, babe, this is a major red flag to watch out for. Your boyfriend doesn’t want you to hang out with him when his female friend is around.
There is every reason for you to join them since he is your boyfriend and you would want to befriend and know his friends too. But, most of their plans don’t make it to your ears, and even when they do, they never include you. There are many annoying things that boyfriends do, but don’t let this be one of them. This clearly indicates that he wants to spend time with her, without your knowledge/presence.
9. His female friend flirts with him
If you often see his friends getting flirty and coquettish with him, then this gives you every reason to be concerned about your relationship. You know your boyfriend is not in safe hands when he is surrounded by girls who like him and want him. This leaves you with little to do about it. You can’t really pry into the situation, trying to keep your boyfriend aloof. Nor can you (as if you really could!) build a protective shield around him.
Is a colleague getting way too close to your boyfriend? Does his female friend flirt with him at the workplace? There could be signs of an emotional affair at the workplace which also doubles as signs your boyfriend likes his female friend. All this flirting might leave you feeling insecure or even make you go green with jealousy. You need to sit down for a conversation with your partner and bring this up. Even though it might get awkward for both of you, some things are better resolved when openly talked about.
10. He doesn’t talk to her when you’re around
You notice him getting uncomfortable talking to his female friend when you’re around. “Why is he not picking up her calls? He is always talking on the phone otherwise,” you wonder. Is there something that he could be hiding? What is it they’re talking about that you shouldn’t know of? There should not be anything between a couple that needs to be hidden from each other.
Both of you are out grocery shopping and he gets a call from his female friend. He chooses not to pick up her calls because you might eavesdrop on their personal conversation. He is wary of keeping you in the loop lest you get to know something that is personal to them – a clear sign your boyfriend likes his female friend more than you.
Related Reading: What To Do When Your Husband Is Talking To Another Woman
11. He confides in his female friend
As a girlfriend, you want to get all of his attention. Being in this relationship, you share your thoughts, desires, and every other thing on your mind with him. It is obvious for you to wish the same to be reciprocated from his end. Instead, you see him keeping things to himself. He finds his confidante and counselor in his female friend. They might be talking to the extent of leaving you wondering, is it normal for your boyfriend to talk to a female friend every day? But the actual thing is that your boyfriend tells his female friend everything, be it his workplace problems, personal issues, or even your relationship status.
This means that your boyfriend finds peace and solace in his friend’s company. Hers is a presence that soothes him and so he prefers to discuss his life problems with her to seek solutions, instead of coming to you. It’s clear that this is one of the sure shot signs your boyfriend likes his female friend.
12. He seems upset over her dates
You know your boyfriend has a thing for his female friend when he gets upset over the fact that she is seeing someone. He looks insecure and jealous of her dates because, well, he doesn’t want her to date someone other than him. Awkward and bitter it may sound, but that is the truth. He is possessive of his friend and would never want his male friends to fancy her. What does your boyfriend think of his female friend? Is he vigilant of her outings? Being over-protective of her is indicative of his feelings for her.
When Ron heard of Liz dating someone, he seemed to be very uncomfortable. He claimed to know the guy from his college and tried hard to discourage Liz saying he wasn’t good enough for her. Talking the guy down to demoralize her was his tactic, which made it evident that he wanted to keep Liz to himself since truth be told, he liked her.
13. He discusses her sex life
Someone’s sex life is a personal matter that one should not be judgmental about. Your boyfriend having an opinion or even discussing his female friend’s sex life is a strict no-no. He shouldn’t be interested in knowing about her personal matters lest she chooses to talk about them. Why should your boyfriend care if she is having sex with someone or not? It is not a point to be discussed or contemplated if she is sleeping around with other people.
It is absolutely her choice and your boyfriend can have no say in it. Him getting worried about this matter only serves to show how jealous he is of her sleeping with people other than him. It is a grave dating red flag that you should act upon with immediate effect.
14. His family knows his female friend
It is a well-known fact that not all women are introduced to family and friends. Guys openly talk about only those women who they feel the most strongly about. The seemingly ‘best’ friend is seated on a higher pedestal in the eyes of the family. Your boyfriend has introduced his friend to his family as the recognized woman in his life. This is clearly one of the signs your boyfriend likes his female friend. They know everything about her because your boyfriend is always bringing her up in his conversations.
Even at the workplace, there could be signs your boyfriend likes his female coworker. She is the one who is known to the family and his close circle of friends. All this could definitely lead anyone to believe that he loves the other woman.
15. He knows more about her than he does about you
Being in a relationship means knowing each other inside out. You know your partner’s likings and preferences to the extent that you can confidently say how they’d react to a certain thing. While this sure is an obvious thing in your case, he barely knows or remembers anything about you. What should have been a two-way street is now a burnt-out bridge. He has trouble remembering your special milestones but can rattle off everything verbatim about his female friend.
You know your relationship is in grave danger if your boyfriend knows more about his friend than he does about you. He is ignorant of how strenuous your day was at your workplace but is informed of what she did on her salon visit. We don’t want you to be sneaky in your relationship, but you sure need to talk it out with your bae.
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It is not easy to share your man with anyone. Dealing with that ‘special’ female friend of your boyfriend can be really intimidating, to say the least. We’ve listed all the red flags that you need to take note of. Noticing any or most of these signs your boyfriend likes his female friend can be detrimental to your relationship. Take matters into your hands. Talk it out with your partner. Deal with the situation with patience and maturity.
It is indeed okay for your boyfriend to have a female best friend but within certain limits. What is worth noting here, is the extent to which the friendship is maintained. As long as their friendship does not meddle with your relationship, it is acceptable.
Yes, guys crush on their female friends as much as the girls do on their male counterparts. It is obvious for the heart to be pulled in a direction without us even knowing it. So yes, there is a possibility that guys can have a big crush on their female friends even if they are already in a relationship.
While we don’t recommend you turn into a green-eyed monster envying every female friend of your boyfriend, we do understand there could be jealousy seeping into your relationship. You will feel jealous if the prime pedestal of being his girlfriend (which has been reserved for you) is being claimed by someone else. Try talking to your partner about your feelings instead of burning in jealousy-induced resentment.