15 Signs Your Boyfriend Likes His Female Friend More Than You

Relationship Advice | | , Author &Ghostwriter
Updated On: April 11, 2024
signs your boyfriend likes his female friend

We’ve often heard the adage “Man is a social animal.” Well, we all have our social circles and friends. So, it is expected that your boyfriend would have his fair share of friends too, including female friends. But could there be signs your boyfriend likes a female friend more than you? Let’s try to understand this situation better. We sure don’t want you to turn into a creepy partner who sniffs and scoffs at everything with jealousy and suspicion. But, we do want you to discern the early signs your boyfriend likes his female coworker or friend.

My last relationship went through a similar phase. One year into our relationship, I noticed how this one female friend of his would always be there in the picture. I now realize there were so many things about their equation I was blissfully ignorant of that ultimately led us to part ways.

Since a large part of your relationship may depend on your boyfriend’s equation with this ‘special’ friend of his, it is crucial for you to be on the lookout for certain signs – signs your boyfriend likes his female friend more than you. And we’re here to help you do just that…

15 Signs Your Boyfriend Likes His Female Friend More Than You

There are many signs of a cheating boyfriend you need to watch out for. He could even be in a relationship with one of his friends whom you know well. Even though, as we mentioned, we are not instigating you, we are alerting you, so you don’t end up with a broken heart.

You might be wondering, “What is the real deal?” How will you get to know about his real feelings for his female friend? Is it normal for your boyfriend to talk to a female friend every day? Could he harbor romantic feelings for his female friend at work? Should you be jealous of your boyfriend’s female best friend? Well, I am here to help you figure out the odd points in such an equation.

1. His conversations are always about his female friend

One of the earliest and easiest signs to detect he has feelings for his female friend is in your conversations. Watch out for these signs:

  • Is he always bringing her up while talking to you?
  • Is he getting excited while mentioning her
  • Does he have a nickname for a female friend that bothers you?

These subtle signs indicate that his female friend is always on his mind. It is obvious for friends to have a lot of things in common to talk about. But if your boyfriend tells his female friend everything, that might not go well with you. As he starts doing more of these things, it could give rise to serious communication issues in your relationship.

2. He puts in extra effort to hang out with her

 he has feelings for his female friend
Your boyfriend’s preference to hang out with his female friends without you is a sign he likes her more

It is okay for your boyfriend to hang out with his group of friends. After all, he does need his own space. But what is not okay is him spending more time with this one particular female friend than with you. Spending quality time together forms the basis of every relationship. So, you know your relationship is in trouble when this quality time decreases considerably because most of it is devoted to her.

My friend Liz knew her relationship with her boyfriend Ed was not going well. Not only were they not spending enough time together, but she also noticed him putting in extra effort while going out with his female pal Mandy. “Oh, he has styled his hair differently today. Him using hair gel is so not him!,” Liz would wonder. Well, this could be just him trying to impress his friend, Mandy. If he is going out of his way, it probably means there is something fishy. He could even be planning sex with his female friend.

3. He defends his female friend

What should you do if your partner defends another woman? Picture this: you both are chatting and you casually express your opinion about his female friend. Instead of taking it in his stride, he takes it personally and comes to resent your opinion. And, it is not a one-off thing. This is quite the norm with him now. If he is always overprotective of her, it is one of the signs your boyfriend likes his female friend. Also, watch out for these signs:

  • He gets furious at you every time you try to confront him
  • Even if it is a casual remark, he gets flared up and uncomfortable
  • He forbids you from judging her and commenting about her

If any of this has been happening lately, let us tell you that your relationship is in danger. A Reddit user says. “You aren’t being unreasonable to question the friendship. It’s disrespectful to you and if he can’t see it when you point it out to him it makes you feel uncomfortable, know your worth, and leave.

Related Reading: 13 Ways To Test Your Boyfriend’s Love For You

4. He carries his phone everywhere he goes

Your boyfriend might forget to carry his towel while going for a shower, but his phone? The phone ain’t leaving him. Not only does he carry his phone around like a limb, but he is also glued to his screen, most probably texting her, perhaps even asking her out on a date.

Is it normal for your boyfriend to talk to a female friend every day? Umm, maybe. But, playful conversations, giggles, and emojis that crawl into the bed, making for a late-night conversation between the two is a huge red flag. He may even have a nickname for a female friend which doesn’t sit well with you. The problem is the line between friendship and unhealthy flirting can be too thin and negligible to be noticed.

5. Your boyfriend tells his female friend everything

Friends do discuss their lives with each other, and even have inside jokes only they know about. But there are a few things that are better kept away from them, no matter how close both of them are. Your boyfriend’s female friend knowing about his work life is understood. But your love life should never be discussed in detail with her. It’s possible he might be reaching out to her for some relationship advice since she, as a girl, can relate to it, suggesting to him what to do with regard to a particular issue. But, if your boyfriend shares things about your relationship with her too often, it is time for you to draw some boundaries.

Venting in front of a friend is something all of us do. But what makes for a warning sign is her knowing about your relationship more than you do. What happens between you and your boyfriend should stay between the two of you. Any leak of inside information is an alarming sign.

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6. He often compares you with his female friend

Comparison in a relationship is a strict no-no. More so, when he continuously does this knowingly. Watch out for these signs:

  • He looks at his female friend through rose-tinted glasses that make her the epitome of perfection
  • She is a benchmark that you are expected to match up to
  • Instead of celebrating and loving you the way you are, he is pushing you into a comparison trap and judging you by a yardstick defined by someone else. This is unfair, to say the least

Related Reading: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships – 10 Characteristics

7. He can’t say ‘no’ to her

As a girlfriend, you should be his priority. You must come above everything else. Even if that means saying ‘no’ to his female best friend. And if for any reason, you don’t find yourself topping the list, girl, this is one of the signs your boyfriend likes his female friend more than you.

Imagine this scenario: you two decide to spend time together and have planned a date for the weekend, something that both of you are very excited about. But, your boyfriend’s female colleague wants him to help her with a new project she is working on. And, to your utter dismay, he agrees to help her, putting her office work above your special night together. You are bound to be upset after this, but to top it all, the only thing he does is defend his female friend. Treat this as the right time to ask your partner some serious relationship questions to know where you stand.

8. You never hang out together

So, your boyfriend is planning to hang out with his female friend, watching a horror flick this weekend. You express your interest in joining them too. You don’t even mind if other friends join you. But, the plan is suddenly canceled for apparently lame reasons or is rescheduled for a time when you are not free. Let us tell you, babe, this is a major red flag to watch out for. Your boyfriend doesn’t want you to hang out with him when his female friend is around. It makes you wonder about your boyfriend-female friend boundaries.

Now, there is every reason for you to join them, since he is your boyfriend and you would want to befriend his friends and know them too. But, most of their plans don’t make it to your ears, and even when they do, they never include you. There are many annoying things that boyfriends do, but don’t let this be one of them. This clearly indicates that he wants to spend time with her, without your knowledge/presence.

9. His female friend gets flirty with him

If you often see his friends getting flirty and coquettish with him, this gives you every reason to be concerned about your relationship. You know your boyfriend is not in safe hands when he is surrounded by girls who like him and want him. Well, if they share inside jokes that leave you feeling alone, you can’t really pry into the situation, nor can you build a protective shield around him.

So, ask yourself a few questions. Is a colleague getting way too close to your boyfriend? Does his female friend flirt with him openly? There could be signs of an emotional affair at the workplace, which also doubles as signs your boyfriend likes his female friend. All this flirting might leave you feeling insecure or even make you go green with jealousy. You need to sit down for a conversation with your partner and bring this up. Even though it might get awkward for both of you, some things are better resolved when openly talked about.

10. He doesn’t talk to her when you’re around

Pay attention to his body language. You notice him getting uncomfortable talking to his female friend when you’re around. “Why is he not picking up her calls? He is always talking on the phone otherwise,” you wonder. Is there something that he could be hiding? What is it they’re talking about that you shouldn’t know of? There should not be anything between a couple that needs to be hidden from each other.

Picture this: both of you are out grocery shopping and he gets a call from his female friend. He chooses not to receive her calls because you might eavesdrop on their personal conversation. He is wary of keeping you in the loop lest you get to know something that is personal to them – a clear sign your boyfriend likes his female friend more than you.

Related Reading: What To Do When Your Husband Is Talking To Another Woman

11. He confides in his female friend

As a girlfriend, you want to know that he is paying attention to you, and only you. Being in this relationship, you share your thoughts, desires, and every other thing on your mind with him. It is obvious for you to wish the same to be reciprocated from his end. Instead, you see him keeping things to himself. He finds his confidante and counselor in his female friend, making you feel like you are in a complicated relationship.

They might be talking to the extent of leaving you wondering, is it normal for your boyfriend to talk to a female friend every day? And the fact is that your boyfriend shares things about his workplace problems, personal issues, or even your relationship status with her. This is very concerning. This means your boyfriend finds peace and solace in his female friend’s company. Hers is a presence that soothes him, and so he prefers to discuss his life problems with her to seek solutions, instead of coming to you. This is one of the sure-shot signs your boyfriend likes his female friend.

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12. He seems upset over her dates

Still wondering about what your boyfriend thinks of his female friend? You will know he has a thing for her when:

  • He gets upset over the fact that she is seeing someone
  • His body language tells it all. He looks insecure and jealous of her dates because, well, he doesn’t want her to date someone other than him
  • He is possessive of his friend and would never want his male friends to fancy her

When my friend Ron heard of Liz, a workmate, dating someone, he seemed to be very uncomfortable. He claimed to know the guy from his college and tried hard to discourage Liz, saying he wasn’t good enough for her. Talking the guy down to demoralize her was his tactic, which made it evident that he wanted to keep Liz to himself since truth be told, he liked her.

13. He discusses her sex life

Someone’s sex life is a personal matter. Your boyfriend having an opinion or even discussing his female friend’s sex life is a strict no-no. He shouldn’t be interested in knowing about her personal matters, lest she chooses to talk about them. Why should your boyfriend care if she is having sex with someone or not? It is not a point to be discussed or contemplated if she is sleeping around with other people, unless he is wondering how to have sex with a female friend.

It is absolutely her choice, and your boyfriend can have no say in it. His getting worried about this matter only serves to show how jealous he is of her sleeping with people other than him. It is a grave dating red flag that you should act upon with immediate effect.

14. His family knows his female friend

It is a well-known fact that not all women are introduced to family and friends. Guys openly talk about only those women whom they feel the most strongly about. So, if you find that this ‘best’ friend is seated on a higher pedestal than you in the eyes of your boyfriend’s family and that your boyfriend has introduced his female friend to his family as the most recognized woman in his life, it’s clearly one of the signs your boyfriend likes his female friend.

They know everything about her because your boyfriend is always bringing her up in his conversations. Even at the workplace, there could be signs your boyfriend likes his female coworker. She may be the one who is known to his family and his close circle of friends.

15. He knows more about her than he does about you

nickname for a female friend
He seems to know a lot about her

Being in a relationship means knowing each other inside out. You need to know your partner’s likes, dislikes, and preferences to the extent that you can confidently say how they’d react to a certain thing. But what should have been a two-way street is now a burnt-out bridge.

You know your relationship is in grave danger if your boyfriend knows more about his female best friend than he does about you. He is ignorant of how strenuous your day was at your workplace but knows what she did on her salon visit. He has trouble remembering your special milestones but can rattle off everything about his female friend. Well, we don’t want you to be sneaky in your relationship, but if you see these signs, you sure need to talk it out with your bae.

The Reddit user continues: “I’ve started judging the health of relationships on how secure I feel around someone at least 90% of the time. If you don’t feel secure most of the time they are together or most of the time when you are around them separately then that’s an issue. Be concerned if the female friend doesn’t at the very least attempt to try to get to know you, or be friends with you as well.

Related Reading: 6 Relationship Problems Millennials Bring Up The Most In Therapy

What To Do If Your Boyfriend Likes His Female Friend

It is heartbreaking to know with certainty that your boyfriend likes his female friend more than you. It’s important that you feel comfortable within the relationship. So, here’s how to approach this scenario: 

  • Communicate your feelings: Express how you feel about the relationship in a calm, respectful manner. Be open to discussing the relationship status and establishing healthy boundaries
  • Understand his perspective: You may be reading more into their relationship than what is the reality. Listen to what he has to say and then decide
  • Don’t blame the female friend: Your boyfriend is to blame for straying out of the committed relationship, not her. A Reddit user opines, “It’s easy to blame her, but your boyfriend is the problem. He puts doing things for her above you, would rather speak to her than you in social settings, and is comfortable showing her fairly romantic physical intimacy. She doesn’t owe you anything, your boyfriend does.  If you have discussed that you are uncomfortable and he hasn’t changed anything about his interactions, then why are you still there?”
  • Don’t blame yourself for your reaction: You have a right to question why he is not staying true to the boundaries set by you two. You should not feel like you are in the wrong when you do
  • Trust your gut feeling: Your gut feeling is something you should pay attention to. If it tells you something is wrong because your boyfriend has a lot of female friends than male friends, then it probably is
  • Seek professional help and prioritize your well-being: Relationship advice from a counselor can help with rebuilding trust, dealing with self-esteem issues, or helping you make the right decision for yourself. If you’re considering getting help, Bonobology’s counseling services are here for you

Key Pointers

  • It is possible for your boyfriend to have a girl best friend without having romantic feelings for her. He may just like to spend time with her as a friend
  • It can be a concern if your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, but it may not mean he is cheating
  • Trust your gut instincts if you sense a deeper connection and communicate your feelings to your boyfriend
  • Seek relationship advice from professionals if communication fails or you need help rebuilding trust

It is not easy to share your man with anyone. Dealing with that ‘special’ female friend of your boyfriend can be really intimidating, to say the least. it could impact your ability to have a healthy relationship too. We’ve listed all the red flags that you need to take note of. Any or most of these signs your boyfriend likes his female friend can be detrimental to your relationship. Take matters into your own hands. Talk it out with your partner, expressing concerns about the close relationship he has with the female friend. Deal with the situation with patience and maturity.

FAQs

1. Is it okay for your boyfriend to have a female best friend?

It is indeed okay for your boyfriend to have a female best friend but within certain limits of a healthy relationship. What is worth noting here is the extent to which the friendship is maintained, taking into consideration that he is in a committed relationship. As long as their friendship doesn’t cross set boundaries, it is acceptable. 

2. Do guys crush on their female friends?

Yes, guys crush on their female friends as much as girls do on their male counterparts. It is obvious for the heart to be pulled in a direction without us even knowing it. So, yes, there is a possibility that guys can have a big crush on their female friends even if they are already in a relationship.

3. Should I be jealous of my boyfriend’s female best friend?

While we don’t recommend you turn into a green-eyed monster, envying every female friend of your boyfriend, we do understand there could be jealousy seeping into your relationship. You will feel jealous if the prime pedestal of being his girlfriend (which has been reserved for you) is being claimed by someone else. He should try to spend quality time with you, not her. The first step is to try talking to your partner about your feelings instead of burning in jealousy-induced resentment. 

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