Being single isn’t all that bad, you tell yourself. You have great friends and your life is going well! But, your Instagram suddenly seems to be filled with happy couples, out on dates, or romantic movie nights at home. And even though you’re enjoying singledom, you do miss disappearing into a lover’s arms after a rough day. Having best friends is great, but you also want someone to surprise hug you from behind, just like in the movies. And as you hit the ‘rewatch’ button on The Notebook and Love Actually, you wonder how to find true love in life.
Jim and Pam, Monica and Chandler, Marshal and Lily, the list goes on. If you had to endure another obnoxious couple being all over each other, you think you just might go nuts. You’ve tried online dating, the blind dates, and the setups but it constantly feels like nobody’s perfect. Nobody really gets you.
But the question is, do you get you? There’s some work to be done before you go out looking for true love. And when you think you’ve found someone you like, what are the signs of true love? As you read on, we hope to answer all your questions.
The 12 Secrets To Finding True Love In Life
The question of how to find true love has inspired countless works of art. And for good reason, too. Love, when it hits, hits hard. It can be a wonderful thing that solves all your problems or something that causes even more problems. High risk, high reward.
When searching for true love, you have to understand that everything happens in its own time. While you’re out trying to socialize and finding your other half there are a few things that can increase your chances of finding true love. Here are the 12 secrets to finding true love in life:
1. Fix the chinks in your armor
The first step in your journey to find true love and happiness begins with you. If there’s baggage from the past that you’re still struggling with, confront the problems and work on yourself. Be it moving on from a bad breakup, family troubles, or a traumatic experience. Get help and don’t let your past dictate your future.
Related reading: How Do You Know You Love Someone – 11 Signs That Say So
If the thought ‘how do I increase my chances of finding true love’ has ever crossed your mind, you first need to become a good partner. Work on bettering yourself through your hobbies and/or career. Pick up that guitar that’s rotting away in your house somewhere. When you’re the best version of yourself, you radiate an aura of confidence and you become more attractive.
2. Don’t go by the movies, have realistic expectations.
No, the love of your life won’t lock eyes with you as she enters a coffee house you frequent. No, you won’t bump into him in a library 3 days later. No, your prince charming won’t sweep you off your feet from the very minute you lay your eyes on him.
First interactions might be awkward, both of you not knowing what to say, they may even seem lackluster. Don’t have a very strict ‘type’ that you’re out looking for. If it seems like you might hit it off with someone despite them not being your absolute pre-determined ‘type’, give them a chance. The connection you establish may surprise you. When searching for true love, you can’t have too many expectations beforehand.
3. Get to know yourself before you find true love in life
If you don’t know yourself, you won’t know what you want from your partner. Maybe you don’t even know if you really like that avocado toast or you just pretend to like it. You might say “I’m looking for true love” but do you know if you’re ready for a relationship?
Apart from learning what you want in your partner, in the process of getting to know yourself, you’ll get a better understanding of what you like and what you don’t. It’ll be easier to tell who’s good for you and who’s not. Anything that helps you avoid a devastating breakup is worth it.
4. Don’t lie around in your PJs waiting for love to happen
When you’re searching for true love in life, you might’ve heard someone tell you that love will come when you’re not looking for it. If that was how it worked, you wouldn’t be Googling “how to find true love and happiness” right now.
Don’t wait for someone who’s not available, don’t try to ‘stumble’ upon love. Love isn’t a dollar bill you find on the road. Be optimistic, be social, meet more new people through friends and acquaintances.
5. Fortune favors the bold
Ever lock eyes with someone, think they’re cute but never really made an effort to talk to them? When you’re searching for true love, you can’t let opportunities like these slip. Who knows, maybe you’ve found the one, but never spoke to them!
You’ll need to ditch the shyness if you want to find true love in life. Meet new people, don’t be afraid to introduce yourself. You could even date a few people to see who you like and what works for you. Remember, the road to true love could have a few stops on the way!
6. Don’t fall in love with a dating app profile
When looking to find true love online, it’s easy to let your expectations run wild. Once you get that all-important dopamine-inducing match, your expectation of the person you’ve matched with skyrocket. You build up what they might be like in your head so much that they might be the complete opposite of that in reality.
It is possible to find true love online, you just have to keep your expectations in check. A lot of people are on online dating platforms, you’re eventually going to find someone who could be your ideal partner. Don’t obsess over that one person who suddenly ghosted you.
7. Go to events where similar interests are guaranteed
Dating apps are great. But there might actually be too many people on there, which makes it harder to find true love in your life. When looking for true love, you’d want your partner to have the same interests as you, right?
So head over to places you’ll meet people with the same interest as yours. Be it a jazz club, a book club, or hell, even a sewing class if that’s what you’re passionate about. Maybe don’t flirt during the sewing class, though.
Related reading: Love At First Sight: 8 Signs It’s Happening
8. A relationship is more than what happens in the bedroom
If you’re lucky, you may come across a relationship that from the get-go has exploded into pretty satisfying sex. The world may seem perfect. You might even think you no longer have to continue searching for true love. But signs of true love feature more than just good sex.
A successful relationship is built on compatibility, trust and communication. No doubt sex is a huge part of any relationship, but it is not the only one. If all you two do is fool around, it’ll definitely be fun, but it may not be true love. They also need to be someone you can talk to, laugh with, and share terrible jokes with.
9. Opposites attract, till they go their opposite ways.
Talking to someone who seems to be the opposite of you? You know what they say, opposites attract! And maybe they do. It may seem fine and dandy in the beginning but chances are, if you guys truly are opposite, sooner or later you’ll find something too big to overlook.
We’re not saying two opposites can never get together, it can happen but the chances of them having a long, fruitful relationship is low. How many times will you order a veg and a non-veg pizza? It’s madness.
10. Be true to who you are
Now don’t go about changing your personality to make it more like that ‘opposite’ partner you’re not ready to let go of. If you change the way you are for someone you like, you’ll be cultivating the perfect companion for a fake personality you’ve created, not for yourself.
The more you stick to being yourself, the more people like you you’ll attract. Finding true love and happiness doesn’t really get easier than just staying true to who you are.
11. Take it slow
If you do find someone who ticks all the boxes and things seem to be going great, make sure you don’t go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like “I love you”. Hopefully, you’ll say it eventually to each other, but true love takes time to grow.
Don’t say something like “I’m looking for true love” on the first date. There are many benefits to taking things slow in a relationship. It’s easy to misjudge how good a relationship is in the beginning. By rushing in, your partner might panic and back off, and you’ll be left Googling “how to find true love and happiness” all over again.
Related reading: 21 Differences Between Love And Infatuation
12. Do your friends give the go-ahead?
What your friends think about your new love interest can be extremely important. While you view your true love through rose-tinted glasses and ignore the red flags, your friends might have a more balanced view.
They’ll help you look at the problems you might have ignored in all your excitement. They’ll help you decide if you’ve actually found true love. Don’t give your friends the power to say “I told you so!” when they warned you against a relationship and it blows up in your face.
We hope we’ve been able to set you on the road to finding true love, if you haven’t already. The most important thing is to remain optimistic and courageous. The next time you’re shying away from an opportunity to talk to someone, don’t let your fears get the better of you. Who knows, you could just be shying away from your own wonderful love story.